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Chapter 1: What is looksmaxxing and why is it a concern?
Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. Look, I wish I didn't have to talk about this, but since a lot of young men follow The Daily Stoic and spend a lot of time on YouTube, I feel like I have to address this word that's all over the internet right now, which is... Looks maxing.
Looks maxing. Looks maxing. Looks maxing. Looks maxing.
It's a TikTok trend taking hold of men seeking to maximize their physical appearance.
And it can be hard to know how real some of these trends are, but this one is real enough and it speaks to something timeless too. But right now, because of social media, because of algorithms, because of toxic online influencers, young men are particularly obsessed with their looks, their muscles, being more attractive, being alpha, being dominant.
Some of this is harmless, some of it's totally fine, whether we're talking about fitness or taking care of your skin or nutrition or getting proper rest, but some of it is actively harmful, if not absurd. I think it's worth saying that the Stoics were in no way against improving yourself.
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Chapter 2: How do Stoics view self-improvement and beauty?
We can tell from the statues, they were in good shape, they were handsome, they were strong. They tried to take care of themselves. And so that's what we're gonna talk about today. Not just what the Stoics would warn us against as far as some of these extreme and dangerous behaviors, but what they would tell us about being beautiful, about attraction, and about being your very best self.
There's nothing wrong with beauty or being beautiful. But Epictetus said that beauty wasn't in our genetics. It was in our choices. He said, if your choices are beautiful, then you will be beautiful. Okay, so what does he mean by that? We are the product of our choices. And by that, I think he means that beauty can't be separated from the process, from the regiment that creates it.
I think what he's saying here is like a woman might be stunningly beautiful at first glance, but if those looks are a result of vanity and self-obsession and endless and endless and endless amounts of time primping in the mirror, you'll actually turn out to be an unattractive person when you get to know her.
if your muscles are a result of steroids or neglecting your other responsibilities in life if your physique is a result of starving yourself or actively harming yourself if you are selfish and fragile and superficial then you are ugly even if it manifests itself in some kind of temporary physical attractiveness I was thinking about this this morning. I was supposed to get a haircut.
I would like my hair to look good rather than bad. I'm a little shaggy right now, but I had some other responsibilities that I had to take care of today. And I thought, you know what? Do I want to be rushed around? Do I want to be in a bad mood? Do I want to neglect taking care of this and that so I can go spend however long sitting in a chair, getting my hair trimmed?
Like one is much more important than the other. When we talk about beauty, we have to think about the process. We have to think about the choices. We have to think about the priorities. And I also just think generally, if you want to be more attractive, make attractive choices, right? Pick up a book instead of a TV remote. Pick up whole food instead of fast food.
Journal instead of wasting time on social media. Say no to distractions and temptations and say yes to your children, to your work, to your responsibilities. Every day we are faced with all sorts of choices, ugly choices and beautiful choices. Who we are and how we look literally and figuratively is predicated on making the right choice between these two things.
I don't know if you've ever done any live shopping, but it's blowing up. And some of the kids, I don't know if I call them kids, but some of the Gen Z kids on my staff had to tell me about it.
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Chapter 3: What choices define our beauty according to Epictetus?
They really love it because you can find vintage stuff and collectible stuff. I was looking at some videos of people selling vintage band tees and records and watches and And it's real people selling. Like if you're going to an estate sale or a really cool, trendy shop, not, you know, overpriced stuff, not produced stuff. There's no ads, no marketing.
And people are on there explaining their stuff, why you'd like it, what's cool about it, where they got it. Like I love buying stuff on auctions. So I think I'm gonna like Whatnot. And I think you will too. There are people making over a million dollars a year on Whatnot. In fact, that number has doubled in the last year.
Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform, whether it's beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury fashion, even cookies. Sellers are building real thriving businesses on Whatnot. Whatnot buyers spend more than an hour a day on the app and they're not just browsing, they're bidding and buying and coming back. So you can go live, show off your projects and turn that into real income.
People selling on Whatnot sell 10 times more than on other major marketplaces. And that's because you're not just listing products. You're building real connections with buyers. Download the Whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search Whatnot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the App Store to start scoring amazing deals. All right.
So I got these two talks in Portland and San Francisco in early June. And I got to figure out what I'm going to wear. You know, normally I just wear a heavy metal shirt and running shorts or something, but I can't do that on stage. I can't wear the same stuff on stage for all of the events because it would screw up the video. And that's why I'm shopping on quarterbacks. Quince right now.
I want something that looks good on stage that I'm not going to sweat through. It's not going to get super wrinkled. Quince has got great t-shirts. They've got great light sweaters and everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup.
And Quince goes way beyond clothing. They've got sofas and ceramic cookware, premium bedding. It's the kind of brand you can end up recommending to everyone for everything. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash stoic for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too.
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Chapter 4: How does the Stoic philosophy warn against obsession with appearance?
That's q-u-i-n-c-e.com slash stoic for free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash stoic. In Discipline is Destiny and also in The Obstacle is the Way, I talk a lot about Theodore Roosevelt.
Many people don't know that Theodore Roosevelt was born sickly and weak, spends the first 12 years of his life struggling, not just with a bunch of health problems, but with this sense that he was a little weakling. There's this pivotal moment where his father comes to him and says, look, you're a bright kid, you have all sorts of potential, but he says, your mind isn't enough.
He says basically that you've got the mind, but you haven't got the body. This little boy looks at his father and says, all right, Dad, I will make my body. You can actually in New York City go and see the gym on the porch of his house where he made his body, where he began his love of what he would call the strenuous life. He became a man's man. He became an outdoorsman. He became a hunter.
He became a soldier. He became a war hero because of this work. Now, this was not at all at odds with his love of learning, with his love of reading, with his love of birdwatching and science and literature and all of these things. In fact, as his father was pointing out, the two complement each other. There's a Latin saying, mens sano in corpore sano, strong mind and a strong body.
And today, unfortunately, we think of philosophers as weak or academic or theoretical. But Marx realized that boxing and wrestling and running and sports. Socrates is not just a philosopher, but also a soldier who's renowned for his bravery and discipline, also for his ability to endure colds. The philosophers in the ancient world were tough. Epictetus captures this dichotomy well.
He's crippled due to torture he undergoes as a slave, but he says, you know, that's only an impediment to part of my body, not to the mind. And he didn't believe his body was weak either. He said, I like the body to be strong, the strength that comes from good health and training. So it comes down to a question of what are these muscles for? What is all this training for?
Is it so you can look absolutely shredded so you can be what AI apparently thinks Marcus Aurelius or Seneca or whomever look like, like with a 12 pack or something? For the Stoics, Fitness and strength was about function. They were trying to keep at fighting weight, not for appearance sake, but because they wanted to preserve their health. The purpose was functionality, not aesthetics.
The purpose was certainly not so they could catch a glimpse of themselves in the mirror and be really excited. The Stoics did difficult things and picked up heavy things and challenged themselves because life was challenging, because life is... difficult. Training was a form of exercise literally and figuratively for them.
They wanted to have that strong mind and a strong body because that was the formula for living a good life. That was a way to build discipline and cultivate resilience to inure themselves against hardship and to maintain that sound body so they could better serve their community and pursue wisdom. And they were hesitant and wary of going overboard, which is always that temptation.
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Chapter 5: What is the Stoic perspective on physical fitness and its purpose?
He says, show me your shoulders. And by that, he doesn't mean show me how good your shoulders look. He's saying, show me what your shoulders can do. He's like, how much weight can they carry in the world? Again, getting really strong, being able to set some record in the gym, unless that's your job, it's meaningless, right? What matters is can you bear the weight of life?
Can you bear the weight of your responsibilities? Can you be a contributing member of society? The idea is get some upper body strength so you can throw your kids around and so you can shovel your neighbor's walk. Develop some endurance so you can endure what life requires. throws at you. That's what this is for. And again, ultimately, what's more beautiful, right?
The person who has perfect form in the gym or on the field, or a person who's fulfilling their purpose, their telos in the actual world as a contributing member to society. What strikes me about this trend is how obsessed it is, how predicated it is on impressing other people. It's about getting likes on social media. It's about supposedly attracting the attention of women or men.
It's about being able to one-up your friends, feel like you're the best guy in the gym or whatever it is. And of course, this is the exact opposite way that a stoic wants you to think about it. In fact, Epictetus says, whenever you're tempted to look outside yourself for approval, you have compromised your integrity. He says, if you need a witness, be your own.
So if you're like, Hey, I want to look this way for me. And you're actually being intellectually honest about this. Like if it's some kind of journey that you are going on for yourself, which I understand as a runner, like I'm not trying to impress you with my times. I'm trying to beat myself with my times and push myself and fulfill this commitment I have for myself. I'm not running races.
In fact, that's always been the interesting thing for me as a runner. People are always like, so are you going to do this race or that race? What's your mile time? And I go, that's not how I think about this. I think about the day-to-day-ness of it, meeting my commitments, pushing myself, treating myself rigorously, as Seneca says, as a training ground.
I remember I was 20 years old, going through Mark Shreeles' meditations, and this thing he said hit me so hard. He said, we all love ourselves more than other people, but for some reason, we care about other people's opinions more than our own. And I think Marcus Aurelius as a more public-facing individual than Epictetus knew this really well.
He had to be able to be satisfied with who he was, with what he did, and not let the crowd decide if he was succeeding or failing. He didn't want to listen to them telling him he was awesome. He didn't want to listen to them telling him he was horrible. He had to stay true to his own compass. And this is a hard thing to do both professionally and personally.
Like maybe you remember as a kid in school, you picked out a shirt or you got a haircut or you adopted some new style that you really thought was cool. And then you showed up and then someone made fun of you. And then you were immediately like, oh, I don't like that anymore. Like you let other people decide what you like. There's another philosopher named Rene Girard who talks about this.
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Chapter 6: How can we balance self-improvement and societal expectations?
Pride not only goeth before the fall, but it's a miserable and it's an insecure existence. And I actually have it tattooed here on my arm as a reminder. Ego is the enemy. Am I doing this out of ego or am I doing this because it makes a difference, because it matters, because it makes me better?
One thing I notice about all these kids that are obsessed with looks maxing is how they all have the same haircut. They all want the same body. They all post the same videos. They're all the same. It's funny. They're trying to stand out by looking exactly like all of their peers. The Stoics, on the other hand, embraced their weirdness.
They stood out, whether it's in Athens or in Rome, whether it's Cato walking around Rome barefoot or Cleanthes proudly doing manual labor, wearing a thin cloak even in the winter. We have Seneca practicing poverty. Marcus Aurelius reading during the gladiator games. The Stoics were different. They marched to the beat of their own drummer.
Basically, what the Stoics knew, and it's so easy to forget this, is that We are all born one in a trillion, one in a trillion trillion. Nothing like you has ever existed before. And then we throw that away by aping the style and the approaches of other people by trying to be just like them. And that is not just weak. It's a rejection of an incredible gift that we have been given.
There's a stoic around the time of Nero named Agrippinus. And he said that society is all this giant garment. And he says most of the threads are white, but that he preferred to be the red thread. He wanted to be the thread that stood out, the bright thread that made the garment beautiful. He says, if I try to blend in, then I will no longer be Be read.
A truly confident person, a truly secure person, a truly strong person, a truly beautiful person is themselves. They like what they like. They are who they are. They let their freak flag fly if they have one. That's what I love about Austin. Keep Austin weird. Be yourself. Do what you want to do. Be one of one. That's where the fun is. That's where the value is. That's where you have a monopoly.
That's what's truly special. That's what makes you stand out. I don't know if you know this guy, Brian Johnson. I actually first met Brian. He was actually one of the first clients of my marketing company more than 15 years ago. He was a little less weird then. I have no problem with him being weird.
I just have a problem with the delusion and the ego of trying to, or even wanting to live forever. It's just the antithesis of stoic philosophy. I mean, first off, if you are taking blood from your child to rejuvenate yourself, there's a horrible metaphor in that, I think, right? Like we are supposed to be providing for the young, not literally leeching from them.
And as far as immortality, I mean, people have been chasing this for as long as there have been people. And you know where all those people ended up? They're all fucking dead. Memento Mori, it is the one prophecy that never fails. When we were all born, we were born with a terminal diagnosis. Now, again, is it good to be healthy? Of course. Should you take care of yourself? Yes.
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