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Chapter 1: What does Randy Blythe's prison experience reveal about freedom?
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Even though she was under unimaginable stress, even though she was suffering a parent's worst nightmare, watching as her only child was overcome by mental illness, by depression, by alcoholism, even as she was doing the agonizing work of understanding her own role in her daughter's difficulties. Joan Didion was still writing. It wasn't for publication.
It wasn't even for one of her famed notebooks, although I talk about that in the journaling chapter of Wisdom Takes Work. These were summaries of her therapy appointments for her husband, typed up as their then 30-something daughter, Quintana, spiraled into addiction.
Helpless to save her daughter, but desperate to do whatever she could, Didion was trying to process an overwhelming and deeply painful situation. The private thoughts were not intended for anyone but her husband.
And yet, when they were discovered in a small file near Didion's desk and published as notes to John, we carry the book in the painted porch, after the death of all three figures, they make for profoundly moving reading, detailing in Didion's clear and refined writing style what it is like to watch as your child seems bent on self-destruction.
They also proved that even in private, Joan Didion was apparently incapable of bad writing. In a way, this is a similar story to Marcus Aurelius' meditations. We have a man suffering and struggling. We have a man in the midst of a very specific, singular experience, being the emperor of most of the world and also having a difficult child. And here he is writing almost entirely for himself.
And yet from the very specific came something universal and helpful to countless people after his death. We have a man whose literary gifts made even his personal admonishments to himself into literature.
And both of these books, Joan Didion's Notes to John and Marx's Meditations, these private thoughts of influential people going through turbulent times in their lives have resonance in both their writing and their message. Whether the writing was for themselves or for others, their gift was so apparent, their ability to reach people.
And we're lucky to have this timeless, universal gift available to us now. And if you want to go deeper into meditations, along with me and thousands of other Stoics all over the world, well, this is the time because it is Meditations Month here at Daily Stoic. April is the month Mark Surilis was born. And in honor of that wonderful birthday almost 20 centuries ago,
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Chapter 2: How did Stoicism help Randy cope with uncertainty and fear?
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That's LiveMomentous.com, promo code DailyStoic. So pretty crazy Friday night, picked the kids up from school, took them to dinner and then waited for it to get dark, hoped we'd get lucky with this crazy rainstorm that was coming and headed over to the Moody Amphitheater where we saw Lamb of God play. You got to start them young if you want them to be into heavy metal, right?
You got to start them young. Randy Blythe is a friend and a fan. He's been on the podcast a couple of times and he hooked us up with tickets. They were playing. The kids wanted to go to a concert. So we said, oh, let's do it. And it was incredible to watch them play. play, pouring rain. It wasn't quite Woodstock 98 or whatever that was, but it was nuts. Bumped into Cody Sanchez's husband there.
She had just been on the podcast a few days earlier. But anyways, as the rain was pouring down, we're watching the Artemis launch on the New York Times app on our phone and watching the rain come in. And then they went on and they played. He shouted me out. Randy did at the beginning of the set, which was You know, unreal.
I wish I had video of that, but I was, you know, actually just trying to enjoy the concert. But that made me think it was such a lovely show. He has been on the podcast twice and he told two really good stories that I think are worth sharing. The first is him talking about what it was like to be thrown in a Czech prison.
for on trumped up charges that he was eventually vindicated on, but very scary charges. Let me play that, because obviously the stoic theme of being thrown in jail and not knowing if your freedom is going to be taken away is a timeless one. And then it's actually something explicitly he turned to stoicism while he was dealing with.
Towards the end of my drinking, I was looking for some sort of answer other than the one that is obviously staring me in the face, like, hey, you're an alcoholic, you got to stop. I went to go see a shrink. His name is Ted. I wish I could remember his last name because I think I still owe him money from our last session.
But I was going to him and I was still drinking at the time and I was complaining a lot about, you know, problems I was having in my relationship, my work. And, you know, all of this is stemming from my alcoholism. But he's he's being cool and he's trying to kind of deal with me without that. directly saying, you got to get sober, dude.
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Chapter 3: What lessons did Randy learn from Epictetus during his struggles?
And when I got arrested, I was about a year and a half sober. Reading some of Epictetus at that time, I hadn't gotten into Marcus Aurelius or Seneca yet, but reading Epictetus and trying to, I think I internalized some of like his external conditions did not define his emotional state. Because he was a slave who was, we don't know to what degree, crippled, I suppose.
And thinking about that and thinking about the end of my drinking, where I was so miserable and just wanted to die when I was in prison. I was like, this sucks, right? There's no way around it. This is not a good time. And it's very scary and all that other stuff. But I at least want to live. I at least want to sort of make the best of this situation.
Whereas a year and a half ago, I didn't care if I lived or died. But I actually, I wrote a friend of mine from prison where I was like, I would rather do another five or 10 years in here than drink again because I, I think I can survive five or 10 years in here. You never know, but I think I can do it. But I'm pretty sure I would not survive another round with alcoholism.
So how does the philosophy hold up then? I mean, you obviously hadn't spent years studying it, but suddenly your freedom is taken from you and not that dissimilar to the way Epictetus or Stockdale or any of the Stoics who sort of experience this kind of severe adversity.
How does it stand up? It stands up 100%. I'm not going to say that I was like this bodhisattva-like figure of calm in prison at all times, you know, because I just wasn't. And I was facing a very uncertain future. But the sort of philosophy of embracing your current circumstances and not trying to, I don't know, wish futilely that you were anywhere but where you are right at that moment.
It works. It works so, so well. I saw people in there who We're miserable always thinking, oh, you know, this person did me wrong and that's why I'm here. And or conversely, constantly projecting in the future. When I get out of here, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. And I'm like, we have to take care of right here right now, you know, because that's all that really exists.
If I have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, I'm pissing on the present. And even though right now sucks, you know, I have to address my situation right now. And I have to. Be cognizant of the fact that I'm not in like, let's say, Afghanistan or something getting shot at. You know, I have a roof over my head. Is it leaky and 137 years old? Yes. I have food. Is it terrible? Yes.
But it's not Stockdale's prison. It's not Stockdale's prison. Yes. No, it's not. You know, I know guys who did a lot more time than me and they came out and survived it, you know, and I have a lot of friends. I always bring up. Like, you know, as I just did, like Afghanistan or something, I have friends and gone through some horrific stuff in the military.
You know, it wasn't a good time for me, but I know people who have been through worse. And that gives me sort of grounding in the state of my current reality.
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Chapter 4: How can Stoicism be applied in times of crisis?
Lamb of God has a great song called Memento Mori. It's got almost 70 million streams on Spotify. And he and I talked about that very idea when he was on the podcast. I think you will like it.
The concept Memento Mori, I'd heard it before I really started... Tying it with stoicism, I heard. Someone told me, it's like, oh, the monks, the ancient, the Christian monks would say this, you know, remember one day you too shall die. As I get older and I'm kind of, I'm writing about this in the new book I'm working on some, I think more and more about my mortality because physically I feel it.
My body hurts more and more as a 50-year-old man who still acts like he's 17 on stage. I feel it more and more and more. And, you know, more and more people that are older than me that are either family or friends are dying. So that is bringing my mortality down. closer to my own face, you know? I see people who try and deal with death, I think, by ignoring it. Sure. You know?
And I think that's actually a huge problem in our culture now. Meditating on death, I think for some people it seems depressing or whatever. And for me, it's just maintaining a firm grasp on reality and trying to... It encourages me to make the most of what time I have here, you know? It really does because... It's fleeting.
And the more you become aware of mortality, the less time you have to waste on frivolous things.
Randy has two great memoirs. His first is called Dark Days, a memoir. And then his most recent one, which came out in February of 25, is called Just Beyond the Light, Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head. He's a sober guy, a really thoughtful guy, and an incredible musician. So thanks to Randy for the tickets. And I thought you guys would like this little flashback.
You can listen to both episodes with Randy on the podcast. And you can catch Lamb of God touring all over the country right now.
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