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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Whoa! Whoa! That can't be right. Quick pitch. Swerve.
Let's update some more of our looks like tournament here because we've got to go through about 70 of these before this thing gets going too much this weekend. So number five, Vanderbilt. In our tournament, number five, Vanderbilt. is represented by... Tim Kirchen looks like what Steve Carell will look like when he's really, really old. They're like three years apart. Really? That can't be true.
I swear, this was written by Tim. Tim Kirkson gave us this one. That can't be true, though. Look it up. I believe they're very close. I think Carell's older than we think. But I'm telling you, they're closer than you think. Tim Kirkson is 69 years old. Steve Carell is 63 years old. That's six years. But still, though. Oh, that's still really close. Saying that he looks really, really old.
So that's Vanderbilt. They're playing against McNeese. That's a 12 seed, and that's represented by... Kurt Cignetti looks like an actor playing Kurt Cignetti. I can see it. Number three, Michigan State. God, their style is ponderous. It's just all defense again. Michigan State is represented by... Adam Silver looks like a pissed-off lighthouse. He's so good. So bad to Adam Silver.
That's playing number 14, North Dakota State, which is represented by... Nick Wright looks like a Geico caveman. I mean, he does. He looks exactly like that. It's indisputable. The South region begins Thursday. St. Mary's is represented by... This laugh from Samson feels personal toward Nick Wright. No, no. But I assume if he sees this, it would make him so angry. But it's so exact.
The seventh seed, St. Mary's, is represented by... Buster Olney looks like the dad who doesn't want to confront another parent in the carpool line, so he flips him off under the steering wheel. I can see that. My dad does that to police officers. Whoa. Who hasn't? Hey. Who hasn't given the finger to a police officer? I feel like you just like to live dangerously. I haven't. St.
Mary's is playing against number 10 Texas A&M represented by... Adam Silver looks like a knitting needle. Yeah, that one I like. Number four, Nebraska in the South region plays 1240 p.m. on Thursday and is represented by... Bo Nix looks like he's a quarterback on a CW teen drama about high school football. That one's too accurate. Man.
That is playing against number 13, Troy, represented by... Joe Maurer looks like the guy who loves to tell you he still prefers to do all his banking in person. So, Dan? I am so lonely every time I walk into a bank. Of course, you're taking whatever David says to the bank. It's like, can I get you? It was Adnan who kept taking things to the bank. David does it too.
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Chapter 2: What are Tani's Top 5 Something Or Nothings of NFL Free Agency?
It got Americanized. It's like Antanasio or something. It's Donnie. It's not Tony. It's not Tony. His name is not Tony Perez. It's not. How does he introduce himself even today? Donnie Perez. He is Donnie. He is Donnie. I'm not making that up. I'm not making that up. Oh, Donnie. They got his... Antanasio. Antanasio. They got his Hall of Fame plaque wrong. He never corrected anybody.
He just changed his name to Tony and started calling himself Tony on behalf of others because he didn't want to explain it every time. But that's totally fine. It happens all the time, Dan. There are people, this is totally different. What he's saying is when you can correct a last name pronunciation, that's not a pronunciation issue, Tony and Tani. Those are two different names.
I can just as easily say Tani as I can Tony. Just say it's Tony. And I would have called him Tony. But when Chris is saying it makes him sad, he hasn't, he's gotten tired of correcting people. We've all been saying his name wrong. Etienne, we've not been calling him A-Chan. That's the first I'm hearing that his name is A-Chan. It's the first any of us are hearing that his name is A-Chan.
We've all gotten his name wrong the same way we did with Tony Perez. You know, now that I think about it, we're doing this with my name as well. It's French. It's Cote. And what about this Boston Red Sox number two starter? Jeremy, what's his name? Just signed. I don't know. Ron Hur. That's going to hurt you in arbitration right there. That's okay. You didn't know that he was on it.
Red Sox number two? It's supposed to be your strong suit. I honestly thought it was a guy named Steve. I don't know. We thought it was Ranger Suarez. Ranger, you've called him that, which you shouldn't have because that's your background. I thought Bello was their second starter. Bello. He may be their fifth. That's nice that you could name him. They changed his name.
He re-corrected how to pronounce. Tony Tony is not a pronunciation. A-T-N, A-T-ON. That's pronunciation. Zaslow, would you like to hear the sequel of David Sampson limping to the microphone? Of course. The sequels are not always as strong as the original, but it's still good. You're right about that. You're a movie guy.
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Chapter 3: What makes a player a 'something or nothing' in the NFL?
That one's going to stick with me all day. You've been waiting to get quizzed on baseball. I thought we were talking about Sonny Gray. You've been wanting to talk baseball for months, and what he does is he looks to you and he says, number two starter for the Red Sox. He did that to you because you did Putin to him. You did Putin to him, and now he lashed out at poor Jeremy.
There's something about college hoops this time of year where you tell yourself you're just going to casually watch one game and suddenly your entire night is gone. That happened to me the other night. I was planning to stay home and keep a game on in the background, maybe pretend I wasn't checking scores every five minutes. Then a text comes in. We've got multiple screens set up.
That's how they get you. So I said, yeah. I grabbed a pack of Miller Lite on the way. A little while later, nobody's casually watching anything. Somebody's yelling because their bracket is already cooked. Somebody else suddenly cares deeply about a school they hadn't thought about in 10 years. And a game that looked over is somehow tied late. You take a sip. You look around.
and realize, yeah, this was absolutely the right move. That's why I reach for a Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients, the original light beer since 1975, and still hitting different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories.
Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. You guys hear that? That's the sound of my calendar flipping over to March. Yes, I know March is more than halfway over.
Don't bog me down with details. Just stick with me here because March means one thing. It means college basketball insanity. DraftKings Sportsbook, the number one sportsbook for live betting, is built for March. The tournament is unpredictable. You're kind of like me. But the rewards are guaranteed, and DraftKings is delivering some of the most generous rewards on the market.
Are you new to DraftKings? Bet just $5 and get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code DAN. That's code D-A-N to turn $5 into $200 in bonus bets instantly. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Hey, who wants to hear me do that crazy noise again? I do. Don Libertard. To us residents... Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there.
It's better. You think I haven't been practicing? Stugatz. Oh. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy. Brought to you by Headquarter Toyota. 441 Powerline Road. Second down and nine. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz. Number five. Romeo dubs something or nothing. I thought his name should be pronounced Dobbs. Dobbs? Dubs? Doobs? Tani. Number four. Number four.
Kyler Murray, Minnesota. Something? Nothing. Mike Ryan was arguing on behalf of the Packers skilled guys, their receivers specifically. I didn't think that Dobbs was much of a number one. I don't think Watson is a number one. Dobbs changing teams. How much money did he end up getting? About 68. You guys think that's a something or a nothing, Zez? I think it's something.
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