The Dom Harvey Podcast
NZ’s Most Controversial Influencer - Steven Setu on Masculinity and Freedom of Speech
17 Dec 2025
Steven Setu is one of the most polarizing voices in New Zealand social media: part comedian, part shock-jock, part internet troll. Love him or hate him, Steven Setu gets clicks and people watch...and watch...and watch!In this brutally honest conversation, Steven opens up in ways he never has before.Between the hot takes, the outrageous claims and the controversy, we meet the little boy from West Auckland who grew up without a father, was bullied, struggled with weight and identity, and built an exterior as thick as concrete.But we also see the softness that sits just beneath the surface, especially when he speaks about his mother, his family, and his desire to “never give up.”Across nearly two hours, Steven and I discuss masculinity, mental health, cancel culture, freedom of speech, bullying, body image, resilience and much much more.As always with these conversations- the goal remains the same- to get a greater understanding of a person, their actions and their thought processes through non- judgmental long form conversation.This is Steven Setu: unfiltered, challenged, and closer than ever before. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 1: What makes Steven Setu one of New Zealand's most controversial influencers?
You want to support the Dom Harvey Podcast and help it grow in 2026? Well, now you can. Just go to dom.co.nz and click the orange button to make a one-off contribution or even better, a regular payment. dom.co.nz Look for the orange button. Hey, I'm Dom and welcome to the Dom Harvey Podcast.
Coming up, Stephen Setu. I would say that the haters built the empire that I have as Stephen Setu. Every single hate they threw at me was a brick that built the empire. So that's what's made me who I am today, as cliche as it may sound.
Stephen Setu is one of the most polarising voices in New Zealand social media. If you haven't heard of him, how would I describe him to you? Well, you could say he's part comedian, part shock jock, part internet troll. Love him or hate him, Stephen Setu gets clicks and people watch his content. In this brutally honest conversation, Stephen opens up in ways he has never done so before.
In between the hot takes, the outrageous claims, and the controversy, we get to meet the little boy from West Auckland who grew up without a dad, was bullied, struggled with weight and identity, and from that adversity built an exterior as thick as concrete.
But we also get to see the softness that sits just beneath the surface, especially when he speaks about his mum, his family, and his desire to never give up. Across the duration of this conversation, which is around an hour and a half, Stephen and I discuss masculinity, mental health, cancel culture, freedom of speech, bullying, body image, resilience, and much, much more.
I need to stress, before we get into it, as always with these conversations, the goal remains the same, and that is to get a greater understanding of a person, their actions, and their thought processes through non-judgmental, long-form conversation. I don't agree with a lot of the stuff Stephen Setu says, and you don't have to either. But this is Stephen Setu.
Unfiltered, challenged, and closer than ever before. On the Dom Harvey Podcast.
Thank you for having me, man. I'm excited. I'm ready. I'm... Oh, man, I'm a little bit nervous. I don't know what to expect, man. It's good to see the myth, the legend. Oh, shucks.
Well, you were messaging me. You sent me some voice notes. Why did you want to come on the podcast?
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Chapter 2: How did Steven Setu's childhood shape his views on masculinity?
I looked you up. You're very polarizing, very controversial, but I'm not going to shy away from that because I figure it's better to try and... You know, because there's this thing with society now. People will be like, you shouldn't give this guy a platform, but... I'd rather try and understand why you think the way you do.
100%. And that's what I love about platforms like yours is that you give people a place to speak, regardless whether you agree with their rhetoric, but you still give them an option to speak. And I think it's amazing that you give that opportunity to people because there are companies that are saying, well, we're going to be the arbiter of free speech.
Who puts you as the judge duty that's going to say this is good and this is bad? So it's great that you've actually put me here. It's very hard for me to try to get onto podcasts because a lot of times, you know, people are sponsored by a certain, you know, demographic and that demographic does not like the stuff that I speak about. So I'm just, you know, thankful that you let me be on here.
So who is Stephen Seto? I'm a Samoan boy from West Auckland. A lot of times people could say I'm a loud mouth online, but I like to see myself as a bastion of light and a beacon of truth. I'm a person that, you know, just happened one day to say, hey, I feel like I have opinions that I want to share with the world. And I went on TikTok and...
All of a sudden, I started complaining about first world problems. And I was complaining about stubbing your toe in the morning on the bed. But it went from there to now complaining about world politics and everything like that. So it's been a hard ride for me. But it's been a rewarding ride for me. I feel like I've taken it the toughest online than anybody else.
And I feel like that's the reason why numbers come. You know, a lot of times people, when they first hear me as I'm the guest on the show, they're like, Stephen Situ. I know of him, but I don't know of him. And then when they see the numbers, they're like, why do people watch this guy? There's something about this guy that they want to know. So, yeah, that's a bit about me, man.
Why have you had the toughest time online? The toughest time online, I think it's because Your freedom of speech, I'm just gonna say, I feel like it just doesn't exist. It's correlated to your insignificance of how you are online. I feel like if you have a platform and a thousand people listen to you, I feel like freedom of speech is now hindered.
But the homeless person on the street or the person that has no platform can speak to the top of his lungs and say the most heinous things or say things that are deemed controversial and nobody would care. I've had multiple accounts banned. I've had bank accounts frozen. I've had so many things that people have stopped me.
I've had the police come to my house for welfare checks to see if everything is okay because my name is getting super slandered online.
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Chapter 3: What are Steven Setu's thoughts on freedom of speech and cancel culture?
And when I say that, a lot of people take it a little bit weird when I say just get the fuck out of your feelings, you know, man up. And they say, well, you don't care about our feelings. Well, the reality is, Dom, nobody does. You probably could find somebody that will care about your feelings for 15 minutes. You probably could sit with your wife and talk for an hour.
But for the 23 hours of your life, it all comes down to you whether you're going to be able to withstand life. And I give the final advice. And I like to... Make the example such. So let's say a friend gets his heart broken. He goes to his friend and he's like, she broke up with me, brother. I don't know what to do. The friend then replies and says, you're amazing. You're awesome.
Everything's going to be fine. If that friend keep calling him every single day, keep going to his house every single day, the friend's going to finally just go to the final vice and say, bro, get the fuck out of your feelings, mate. Get over it. So for me, I've always been that person that just jumped straight to level 10 because life is level 10.
Who told you that life for a man was supposed to be happy and roses and dandelions and candy canes? Tell me any point of history where there's ever been an amazing moment for men. It wasn't amazing for men on the Titanic. It wasn't amazing for men in the Napoleon Wars. It wasn't amazing for men when they're dying in the trenches. It wasn't amazing for men in the medieval ages.
It's never been amazing for me. And I truly believe that happiness should be for women and for children. And men get their happiness because they live vicariously through their women and their children. And people don't like to hear this. But this made sense. You're sexist. That's anti-man. The thing is, I'm not trying to say that women are not, look, I believe that every gender is amazing.
I believe there are certain things women can do that exceeds way better than men. There are certain things that men can do that exceeds way better than women. I'm not saying they're better than each other, but I wouldn't drop my daughter at an all-day care center full of straight male men.
You could call that sexist, perhaps, but I'd feel more comfortable dropping them off at an old daycare centre full of women. Why? Because I just feel like women have a nurturing... nurturing attitude. And I feel like when you're sick and I'm sick, we would love to have our woman in the bed putting ice pack on our head.
I'm sure you wouldn't want your best friend who's a man lying next to you saying, Tom, are you all right, my darling? You know what I mean? There's a nurturing element that you get from women. And I think this is what I'm trying to say about opinions is that people find all of this controversial. But I'm not trying to say women are weak and men are strong.
I'm saying if I needed bodyguards, yes, there are women bodyguards. But science have shown that men are more physically stronger. They have more testosterone. So I'll just choose men. So it's not about who's better or who's not. There are certain genders that operate in a better realm than other genders. Would you agree?
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Chapter 4: How does Steven Setu define masculinity in today's society?
You know, the numbers are so low, right, of male primary school teachers, male preschool teachers. Most guys are like, I just don't need the drama, don't need the stress, don't need people accusing me of having untowards motives. I think any guy that goes into that profession, it's commendable because they're going against a lot of adversity.
100%. And I'm not saying they aren't. I'm not saying they aren't. And that's what I really want to get out to the populace is I'm not saying they aren't. What I'm just saying is personally, I would feel comfortable with my children at an old daycare center full of women. That's just me. And many other men would believe that. Of course, there might be amazing teachers. I'm not saying they aren't.
But my preference is I just believe women are more nurturing, more caring. Women have the supernatural power where they can read your mind. Like, they know what's up. Like, if something is off, they can hear. And you know this, Dom. You could walk in the door and not even say a word, and they're like, what's wrong? What happened at work? What happened?
And I would want my children to be around that realm. I wouldn't want them to go in there and... and steal that sort of beauty and that genuine from women by putting them in an all daycare center full of men. Because I believe I'm an amazing man and my kids will always get amazing feedback from me. So I would like to get another realm of femininity. Have you got kids? No, I don't have kids.
It looks like I have kids, mate. I'm losing weight though, buddy. Are you in a relationship? Yes, I am in a relationship. I'm in a relationship with a beautiful Maori wahine woman who lives in Australia at the moment. You know, obviously we're two different lifestyles. I'm a social media content creator. So, you know, obviously I'm all everywhere.
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Chapter 5: What role did bullying play in Steven Setu's life and career?
And, you know, she owns a salon and does, you know, hair. But... Yeah, we stick to traditional principles. I'm the man. I'm the head. I make the decisions. She's the next. She guides me. Behind every great man has always been a stronger woman and a greater woman.
If you look at Genghis Khan, if you look at Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, they always had one amazing woman that was always with them at all times. So obviously back then they had mistresses. But there was only one woman that could walk into the room of that king and sit down with them because I believe that their healing power, that man needs it to conquer the world.
So, yeah, I feel like it's great. I believe feminine energy and masculine energy creates a beautiful harmony, symphony. It's amazing.
There's a lot to talk about, including you took some footage in here before, and I noticed your phone case is a picture of Andrew Tate. We'll get into that later because that's slightly problematic. Okay. To me, that says... That's crazy that you even saw that. Yeah, I saw that. But that to me says this is someone that I like a lot. Yeah. But first of all, I want to know... Yeah.
Who is Stephen Seto in terms of your early years? So you're born in America Samoa.
Yes, I was born in America Samoa. I was raised in New Zealand, West Auckland, New Zealand.
When did you move here?
Two years old, but I came under my mother's citizenship at that time. Okay. And basically I was raised in West Auckland, six kids, solo mother. My father left when I was five. He came back at 23. My older sister got married at 23 and he came back. Sister gave him an ultimatum saying, if you're not coming back, then you're out of my life. And then he came back. And ever since then, I forgive him.
My father were better. But I always knew I was meant for the bright lights. I always meant my voice is going to be, a lot of people are going to hear my voice. That's who I am, man. I'm just a person that likes to speak my mind, like to be a bastion of truth and a beacon of light. And I get a lot of stick because I do everything the opposite of what everyone does.
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Chapter 6: How does Steven Setu view mental health and resilience?
That's all.
So, your dad. Yes. So, what are your recollections of that time? Like, so, do you have a good relationship with him in the first five years?
Well, the thing, there was not very much of vivid memories because he left when I was five. What are your memories of those first five years? I saw him as my superhero. I saw him as, you know, I wanted to be like him. You know, he was in the American Army. I was like, whoa, he's a soldier. You know, everything. I think as a son, you always aspire to be your dad. You want to be like your dad.
But with age builds perspective. And then getting older, I realized that he was everything I didn't want to be. I believe in loyalty. What he did was absolutely putrid to my mother. What did he do? He got other women pregnant. Okay. And got a whole set of kids out there.
And I just don't know how any man would be able to leave a woman on the benefit with six kids by herself and then just fuck off. And to me, that is almost like manslaughter in a way, because, you know, after a heartbreak of 25 years of 15 years of marriage, 25 years of knowing each other just to leave abruptly like that. It's crazy. Where were you in the birth order? I'm second to last youngest.
So I'm 33 now. My baby sister would be like about 30 years old. And then the oldest would be like about 45, 46. So what are they? How many sisters? Two sisters, the oldest. The matriarch out of all siblings is the sister. And then the youngest is the sister. But it's sister, brother, brother, brother, and then me, and then sister. Right.
So I'm guessing, what do you remember about when your dad left? What were you told? What did you know what was going on?
Well, my mom never really wanted to belittle my father, ever. And that's one thing I applaud about my mom, is that she never wanted me to have a bad image of my father, because I am my son's father. And she never wanted to tell me. My mom always believed in speaking about positivity. So she would always say, well, he's gone, he's gone, until I start to realize, well, when is he coming back?
You said he's coming back every single Christmas. Then my mum had to get a little bit real with me and tell me, well, you know, actually he's moved on. And I felt betrayed. I felt resentment. I was like, how dare he? He promised that he was going to come back. You know, he went to get the milk and then, you know, he ended up being with a cow. Pardon the pun. Yeah.
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Chapter 7: What is Steven Setu's perspective on body image and societal expectations?
So I grew up around my sisters. I never really knew who my brother was. And I grew up in a way where I didn't have any masculinity whatsoever. I didn't grow up, I got bullied a lot. I didn't care about who I was. I didn't speak up a lot. I just felt like I was just a pawn on a chessboard and that's all I was.
And now we're going to, if we segue into Andrew Tate and all this whole new masculinity thing, What he says about women is absolutely disgusting. Let's get that straight. We agree. We agree on that. Yeah. What he says about women is absolutely disgusting. But Piers Morgan, Joe Rogan, all the biggest names have all agreed this.
If you can remove the misogyny away from Andrew Tate, everything he does is commendable. That's what they've actually said. He talks about mental health for men to be stoic. He teaches men how to overcome situations. He teaches men to go into the gym and work hard and focus on themselves. Ever since I met Andrew Tate, I was in such a deep hole that I've now become better.
My social medias have popped off. I've been in the gym now. I've lost over 20 kilos. So a lot of people could say, well, he's a misogynist and he's done this and he's done this. I'm like, yeah, but I see the result. You don't. You just see what you've been told by mainstream media, by legacy media.
And if you still believe that legacy media holds a narrative where it's all fair game, mate, then you're living in the fucking matrix, buddy.
You understand the problem with that. It's like take a slice of the pie away, but it's still part of that same pie.
Yeah, but then— At the end of the day, mate, it's like we are all colorful human beings. Nobody has one personality. I can guarantee you, Dom, if I would talk to all the people that you've met in your life, they would all give me a different perspective of Dom. They'll say, oh, Dom, he's that annoying bastard, that blah, blah, blah. Oh, Dom, he's the kind-hearted. Oh, Dom, he's loving.
Oh, Dom, he's a creep. But that still makes you Dom.
Yeah.
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Chapter 8: What lessons does Steven Setu want to share about overcoming adversity?
It's because he even won the popular vote. He didn't just win the electoral vote. He won the popular vote and he won the Senate. It's because the media, what the media does is they try to tarnish your influence. I would say the reason why Donald Trump won is because the media tried to make us hate Donald Trump.
And if you try to purport an image so much, we're going to just say, oh, fuck off, bro. We've heard too much. They keep saying, oh, rape accusation, a woman, you know, tribunal. It got to the point where we're like, we know the narrative now. We know what you're trying to do. We're just going to vote for Donald Trump to piss you off.
And also as well, I think a lot of times people can see through the bullshit. I think media control the narrative. And then people think that the media is true, not knowing that there's a whole nother. Like online, you'll think I'm the most hated person. Online, you would think Stephen is hated. He has no fans. Well, the numbers tell different. That's all I'm saying. The numbers are different.
I've never had a negative interaction out in public. People love me. They swarm me. They come around me. My demographic is mainly Pacific Islanders. Whenever they see me, man, they're all over me. I don't have a private life no more. But online, you would think I'm hated. Because the media tries to paint you as a hateable person. But no, I'm a lovely guy. Don't you think I'm a lovely dog?
Yeah, so far. So far I do.
There you go. And that's one thing I like about doing this podcast. And there's a quote that I bring up all the time, actually, from Michelle Obama. And the quote is that most people are hard not to like up close. Yeah. And I've found that to be...
I've done it like 220 podcasts now I'd say that's true like you meet someone in person but it feels like we've got to a point now with society where if you have a differing opinion to someone it's like well we can't agree on anything now correct and people are getting so lost in their feelings feelings feelings feelings feelings feelings and I know this is another controversial segue we're going into it was only 30 years ago when I said yeah she's a woman and that was a fact
You say somebody's a woman now, that's a hot take. It's amazing how things have changed. You see what I mean? I'm not even trying to say this to be a dick, but let's just be real, bro. You know, 30 years ago, when you would go on a date, you're like, oh, I can't wait to see my woman. Now, if you go on a date in 2025, you have to say, I hope it is a woman. It's just things have just switched.
And I'm not saying this anything to push against the LGBT community. Now, I've got friends in that community. But all I'm trying to say is, is that what is reality? What is common sense?
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