The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her
Wed, 09 Apr 2025
On today’s episode, we hear about: A woman struggling with the aftermath of her husband’s affair A husband trying to save his marriage after a recent discovery A man unsure how to tell the kids about a new parenting arrangement Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the situation with the husband's affair and coaching arrangement?
So she's a Little League coach?
Yes. And he's a coach? And he's the coach. On the same team? Yes. And they had an affair and you caught him? Yes. And he's still coaching?
Yes. Your husband is absolute embarrassment to husbands everywhere. If this was a Hallmark movie, the only way to make this right is for you to call the other husband and be like, hey, what's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show.
And for more than 20 years, I've been sitting with hurting people who, and that includes all of us, trying to do life, like just do the next right thing and the wheels fall off, whether it's in our marriages, our mental and emotional health, whether that is in our workplace, wherever you find challenge. I'll show up and sit with you.
And man, it's one of my life's greatest honors to sit with hurting people trying to figure out, hey, what's the next right move? Hey, I think I see a light over that hill. What if we headed that way? If you would like me to sit with you and just figure out what's the next right decision, give me a buzz, 1-844-693-3291. Or you can go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K.
All right, let's go back to Texas and talk to Michelle in Corpus Christi. What's up, Michelle?
Hi, Dr. John.
How are you?
I'm doing good. Awesome. Today's a good day.
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Chapter 2: Why is Michelle struggling with her husband's continued involvement with his affair partner?
because he would vent to her and they would talk about baseball and, you know, talk, then they started, she started having problems in her marriage. And so then they started talking about each other's marriages and that's how that started.
Okay. So let me, let me pause there. That's not an uncommon scenario. And this is going to sound strange to say, like, that doesn't freak me out. Like I, that part isn't, um, I'm trying to think of the right words. It's not rare. But what on earth, post that moment, the, oh my gosh, I just changed everything. I just slept with one of my close friend's wives.
I just slept with one of my wife's close friends. Someone I travel with that we coach games. Like I just woke. What in the world could possibly be the justification for being like, all right, so here's the deal. We're going to continue coaching together.
Well, for him, it's because he doesn't want people to find out what happened. So he doesn't want to leave the team abruptly. And then people start questioning why he left. And I said, who cares? Since when do you care what people say or think about you? Now, all of a sudden you care. And that's why we were trying to quietly exit because nobody knows.
I mean, between the four of us, minus like a cousin of mine, nobody else knows in our family, in our friend circle. So that's why he was trying to do a clean break. But now that the season's about to start, he's like, well, I don't know if I want to leave just yet. We agreed we're just going to do this last season and then we're done. but I'm finding it hard to do that.
Even though they've cut off communication, like her phone number's blocked, like they don't interact at all.
I guarantee you they figured out a way around that. Guaranteed. My truck is not nice, but I would bet the whole thing they figured it out.
Hmm.
I'm literally heartbroken for you, with you.
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Chapter 3: How does Dr. John Delony describe the husband's behavior and its impact?
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I guess we're a month out from the last Money in Marriage event. We got tons of just pretty amazing questions that were part of a lot of the Q&As that we do. The October Money in Marriage and the February Money in Marriage for 2025 and 26 are already open. If you want to come join us in Nashville, Tennessee, it's just an extraordinary weekend.
But here's a question that comes from the Money in Marriage weekend. We are in our late thirties and we make about 250 grand a year. Dang Gina, maybe all our hiring. We both come from families that struggled financially. We've made more disposable income than we thought we'd ever make. We like to spend money on things like travel. Last year we spent 20 grand on travel. Is that too much?
How do we think through the best way to allocate quote unquote extra money and not feel guilty? Um, Man, this is something that actually my buddy Dave Ramsey has taught me about personally because I grew up with not a lot too. And my life has changed here now that I'm living in this, the last great loophole of mankind called podcasting. Well, there's a couple of things here.
Number one, if you find yourself with more money than you ever thought you would make, it's important to acknowledge the ratios. Meaning, if you make $30,000 a year, you're driving a used Corolla, and you're going to drive it until it dies, right? Because that's X percentage of your annual salary.
If you make $500,000 a year, then a nice used Lexus, a new Lexus, proportionally to your salary is less than that used Corolla was to when you made $30,000. So there's something about the ratio. that has given me peace, lets me exhale a little bit. The second thing here is some people who grew up with money, very scarce, it's wired into your nervous system. Money is something to be afraid of.
There's never gonna be enough. It's always gonna run out. That's just your body trying to take care of you. So don't go to war with your body But I always tell people when you're making out a budget to put money that you will give away and put that at the top of the list. Giving is a, it's a, it's a way to enter into the world as though I am participating in this world.
I'm a person who gives, I'm a person of generosity. And the second one is I tell people who are struggling with scarcity mindsets or that guilt feeling you have, put money away that you will spend on yourself. You have to practice giving. Enjoyment. You have to practice joy. You have to practice peace. Those are just things we've never done before. It's great. It's good.
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