The Game with Alex Hormozi
The Number One Multiplier We've Seen In Businesses | Ep 812
Tue, 24 Dec 2024
Welcome to The Game w/ Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned and will learn on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Wanna scale your business? Click here.Follow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition Mentioned in this episode:Get access to the free $100M Scaling Roadmap at www.acquisition.com/roadmap
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of learning and self-improvement?
Learning and becoming the best version of ourselves, at least for me, is kind of the purpose of living. If that is at least part of your life's purpose, then I think having somebody who supports that goal rather than someone who is neutral or detracts from it is probably a good
So I wanted to talk about something that's a little different than probably my normal topic, but I think really important for a lot of you. It's actually about your significant other. So here's the deal, Layla and I,
had this realization that the number one kind of multiplier or amplifier on someone's effectiveness inside the business actually had a lot to do with what was going on outside of the business. And what's difficult for that as a business owner is that you want, or rather, I want to be able to predict how well someone does over the long haul.
If many variables exist, many variables must be studied, right? If we think about your subjective well-being, so your happiness metric, the strongest correlate to that of all variables is the strength of your relation with your significant other. Believe me, this is about making money and not being happy. That's not my shtick. So I will stay to my lane.
I do think that a significant part of that is whether your significant other helps you achieve your goals. And so the reason that this is so nasty is is that I have had people who came into our companies and were what I thought were going to be stars. And then their significant other derailed them. And the reason that I think it's so insidious is that it's not done out of malice.
And I think that's why it's so tricky is that let's say you have a tough day at work and you go home and your significant other says, ah, like, you know, enough about your day. Let's talk about my day. And, you know, here's a big bowl of ice cream or, hey, let's, you know, let's go out to dinner or, hey, let's go see friends. Right. Right. All of that seems well-intentioned.
The question that we have to ask ourselves is, does this increase or decrease the likelihood that I hit my goals? And I see hitting one's goals as essentially your relationship with yourself, which is why I see goal achievement as the most important thing that you can do in your life. Because it's really just, do you keep your commitments to yourself?
And before anyone jumps down my throat, the analogy that I would give is the very classic one, which is that when you're on an airplane, what do they say? You put your air mask on before you help others. And I think that your significant other was likely attracted to you to some degree based on your aspirations, what you want to do with your life.
And what's interesting is that they will be attracted to that thing and then also be the source of that demise, right? They will do things and take actions that make it less likely that you achieve your goals and then complain about the fact that those goals have not been hit. And that's tough. And it's usually because they do not see that what they do hurts you.
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Chapter 2: How does your significant other impact your business success?
And I think it makes it less likely that your goal is that you stick with it because it no longer becomes an us thing. It's just a you thing. And then work becomes something that's a take from your relationship. Super tough because now you have conflicting priorities. You have conflicting reinforcement contingencies.
You've got the spouse that whenever you do this other thing, it's taking away from that person. And that's because of how they have framed it. And so if you can have a spouse who frames you working as you loving them, then you win. Because they see you working as you feeding the unit, you feeding our goals, what we want to do with our lives, what impact we want to make as a family.
And a family can still be two people. But nonetheless, on the left, right, you've got the actively destroying. Second, you've got passively destroying. And the only difference I see there is intention, not as outcome. Now, to the middle of that, I think you have neutral. And so these are the people that are just like, you do your thing, I do my thing. Right.
And I think there's kind of two flavors of this. One is you've got a spouse who has their own career or their own business and they're just running on their path and you're running on yours, which can actually be a very successful pairing as long as you both give each other space to go pursue both of your goals, which then both of you are achieving your best version of yourselves.
And then as each of you levels up, you become more and more attracted to the other person because like your stock goes up and so does theirs. Cool. The other version of neutrality I see is that they will not detract. They will not interfere with you achieving your goals. Now, very different from supporting. They just won't get in the way. If you have to work, they say, OK.
Now, they're not going to say, hey, honey, don't worry about it. I got it at home. I got the kids or I got the whatever is going on. Like, I got this. Go do what you got to do. Right. That's supportive. Neutral is understood. Right. I'll go figure out what I need to do in the meantime. And you can already guess where the next version of this is, right?
Is supportive, which is not, they increase the likelihood that you hit your goals. That's how I define support, is that they take interest and they increase the likelihood that you hit whatever goal you set out to do. I think many people, some of you guys right now, if you're being honest with yourselves, if you were to answer the question,
Does having this person in my life increase or decrease the likelihood that I have my goals? I think some of you might have a very tough, tough set of questions to have. So I'm going to give you five questions that I think are just destructive and just nuclear bombs. Number one, if someone tells you that you're a lot like your ex or your current, would you take that as a compliment?
Think about it. Number two, would you allow your future kid to date someone like your spouse? Three, Were you able to unapologetically be yourself or do you have to act like someone else when you are with them? Four, do you like the real them, just their good side or the idea or potential of them? And then finally, while you are with them, are you fulfilled or are you simply less lonely?
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Chapter 3: What is the strongest correlate to subjective well-being?
She not only doesn't spend money, she makes me money and she helps me go make more money because she handles things that I would normally have to do so that I can go sell more. And he was like, okay. And so we just keep going down this list. And basically all my stats were up.
And so that conversation was one of probably three moments in my life with Layla that I was like, huh, what if I use the frame of like, does this person help me become the person I want to be rather than do I have the butterfly tingles and fireworks, which is basically the litmus test that I used for every other relationship that I'd been in in my life.
And the nice thing is, is that there's a lot of humans. And I think that it's kind of like mediocre employees where like the dangerous ones, Frank Slootman talked about this. He's like a serial multi-billion dollar CEO. He said, the thing that will destroy your company is B players, not C players. C players are obvious and everyone's happy to kick them out. A players are winners.
He said it's the B players. They're good enough to not get fired. And they're really just along for the ride. And I think many people, myself included, have been stuck in B relationships with B players for extended periods of time. And maybe they don't. Now, maybe they don't have negative intentions. But when we ask the question, does it make it more likely?
that I have my goals with this person in my life? Is it more likely that I become the person that I want to become? Am I better as a result? If I had them rub off on me, do I see that as a compliment? Do I see that as a pro? And I think many of you guys want to succeed here. And I think many of you have a shackle around both of your feet and you're trying to run a marathon.
And you're wondering why you can't run as fast as other people, but you're carrying this weight behind you, making it virtually impossible to run and compete.
I know this one is as a tactical as what I normally talk about, but it's kind of one of those big picture things that the reason Layla and I brought it up is that when we looked at the people who have come into our company and then we only measured them based on the relationship and support they have with their spouse, it was a hundred percent. And that was why it was so freaky to me.
Like we just went through couple after couple, after couple, after couple, and we could predict where they would end up. And what was interesting is that it didn't have a ton to do with where they started.
So some people who are lower in the organization and had all-in spouses who were like, would wear gym launch gear, wear acquisition.com gear, even though they don't work at the company, they're like, whatever they need to do. And I've seen this on the husband's side and the wife's side, right?
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Chapter 4: How can a significant other derail your professional success?
I get what I call trade-off questions. which is like, hey, so how do I get my girlfriend to be into my work? It's never going to happen. Layla and I talked about business the first day for four hours. All she cared about was fitness marketing. When we talked, it's literally what we talked about. Talk about ads, funnels, offers, and conversion processes. That was our entire first day.
We didn't talk about kids. We talked about anything. We just talked about that. And so it felt like it was just a business meeting. And I was like, well, that was fun. I was like, I didn't have to pretend to talk about something that I didn't care about. I was like, this was wonderful for me, right?
Instead of having to pretend for an hour over, you know, fro-yo that I give a shit about whatever you're doing, right? Much better. So if you're in that trade-off, like how do I, you're not going to, you're not going to. It's very unlikely. Unless you create some sort of rewarding stimulus that gets them to be addicted to work. Difficult, not impossible, but very difficult.
Second to that, you get the trade-offs of like, okay, well, I want to spend time with my kids. I want to spend time with my wife. How do I balance that with work? You just, you balance it. And that's fine. It's just understanding that you're going to make trades. Like if you worked every hour of every day, you'll probably do better than if you didn't. And that's okay.
Because also it's relative to you, not relative to everyone. Jeff Bezos was married and had kids and then grew Amazon. Many of the richest people in the world are married and have lots of kids. Would you go as fast as you could if you spent all your time? No. Is it a trade-off you're willing to make? Probably. I think that's fine.
I think a lot of people get in these trade-off questions, but where I think you get into issues is where you're making the trade, but you're not getting either. You're trading your goals and you're not getting the fulfillment. You're not getting the person that makes you better. You're not getting the person that you would feel like a compliment if someone were to describe you like them.
You're being with the person that you wouldn't want your kid to date. You're being with the person that only is there to keep you less lonely, but in no way makes you fulfilled. And I think that's where you get the worst of both. And that's what compromise means. You just get neither person goes as they want. And so I think some of you guys might have a hard conversation or two
And sometimes it could just be this simple conversation of being like, hey, I would like it if you increase the likelihood I have my goals. The way that you do that is in these three behaviors. And instead of this, do this. So if you want to give feedback, don't tell people to not do stuff. Tell them what to do instead. So under this condition, change your behavior in this way. It would help me.
So when I come home and I say I'm stressed about work, I don't want you to tell me that work isn't cool. I want you to just listen, or I want you to help me solve it, but tell them what you want. And then they can behave in the way according to that.
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