The Number One Multiplier We've Seen In Businesses | Ep 793
episodePreviously titled “The Number One Multiplier We've Seen In Businesses | Ep 812” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 2, 2026
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What is the purpose of learning and self-improvement?
Learning and becoming the best version of ourselves, at least for me, is kind of the purpose of living. If that is at least part of your life's purpose, then I think having somebody who supports that goal rather than someone who is neutral or detracts from it is probably a good So I wanted to talk about something that's a little different than probably my normal topic, but I think really important for a lot of you. It's actually about your significant other. So here's the deal, Layla and I, had this realization that the number one kind of multiplier or amplifier on someone's effectiveness inside the business actually had a lot to do with what was going on outside of the business. And what's difficult for that as a business owner is that you want, or rather, I want to be able to predict how well someone does over the long haul.
If many variables exist, many variables must be studied, right? If we think about your subjective well-being, so your happiness metric, the strongest correlate to that of all variables is the strength of your relation with your significant other. Believe me, this is about making money and not being happy. That's not my shtick. So I will stay to my lane. I do think that a significant part of that is whether your significant other helps you achieve your goals. And so the reason that this is so nasty is is that I have had people who came into our companies and were what I thought were going to be stars. And then their significant other derailed them. And the reason that I think it's so insidious is that it's not done out of malice.
And I think that's why it's so tricky is that let's say you have a tough day at work and you go home and your significant other says, ah, like, you know, enough about your day. Let's talk about my day. And, you know, here's a big bowl of ice cream or, hey, let's, you know, let's go out to dinner or, hey, let's go see friends. Right. Right. All of that seems well-intentioned. The question that we have to ask ourselves is, does this increase or decrease the likelihood that I hit my goals? And I see hitting one's goals as essentially your relationship with yourself, which is why I see goal achievement as the most important thing that you can do in your life. Because it's really just, do you keep your commitments to yourself?
And before anyone jumps down my throat, the analogy that I would give is the very classic one, which is that when you're on an airplane, what do they say? You put your air mask on before you help others. And I think that your significant other was likely attracted to you to some degree based on your aspirations, what you want to do with your life. And what's interesting is that they will be attracted to that thing and then also be the source of that demise, right? They will do things and take actions that make it less likely that you achieve your goals and then complain about the fact that those goals have not been hit. And that's tough. And it's usually because they do not see that what they do hurts you.
And I say hurts you not because, again, out of malice, but out of what happens, what occurs. And so this has been something I've been thinking a lot, so much so that we are considering putting it as a part of our interview process for people coming in. And so if you look at how supportive a spouse is or your significant other, I think that it's not a binary. I see it on a continuum, right? On the absolute worst case, you have somebody who's like, you need to quit that job, you need to quit that place, whatever. Now, under the right circumstances, that can be super encouraging because they're saying you should go pursue your dreams, in which case that's amazing and they're over here, right? But if that's the main vehicle that you have to provide for the family and that's your dream or that's your goal, then how terrible is that? And now every time you go home, you're reminded of this and basically talking about work is punished, which then associates a negative and aversive stimulus with the thing that you need to keep doing in order to hit the goals as a unit.
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