COLD CUTS: Plastic Jizz
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, the hives there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 5.47. Now, fellas, you'll be aware of the fact that I've moved to the CBD. One of the best decisions I've made in my life. Absolutely love it. What's the name of your apartment again? No. The Jizz Palace. Yeah, okay. Well, after this story, I'm tempted to name it the Jizz Palace because there's one thing that I've got a bit of a bone to pick about living in the city with. Uber Eats. Now, Friday night, let me take you through it, fellas. And I know this is First World Problems. Now, just quickly before you start, did this thing on Friday night, did it bug you at all?
Yeah, it bugged me. Okay, good. It's been bugging me. That's four stings, man. That's a record. Get home, and this often happens at my house on a Friday night. What are we going to have for dinner? No one, you know, my wife and I, oh, I don't know. And I said, leave it with me. You know, I'll get Uber Eats. What a hero. I know.
Leave it with me.
So I finally, you know, I go through it. What about this place? Blah, blah, blah. You finally get a place. I'll just order some stuff. Boom, boom, boom, done. Okay, so I order the food on Uber Eats and then I'm sitting there and I get a message nearly there from the driver. And I'm like, oh, God, that was quick. Because I said it'd be like 20, 25 minutes. And I went, oh, okay. Coming down. Not happy. Coming down, I said, because I like to go and meet them out the front. I don't like them to go into my apartment.
Can I ask a question? Yes. When he says nearly there or whatever was said, are you looking on the app there and you can see where the vehicle is? And the ETA?
What challenges did the host face with Uber Eats?
Yes.
Yes. And what I often find, because that's why I was quite surprised. I was like, oh, well, that's weird because it seemed like it was still a fair amount of time away. So I go down there, I wait outside. And now I've got to tell you my history of Uber Eats in this particular place. It's never been successful. So I'm sitting there and he goes, I've arrived. And I'm like, good, I'm here.
Yeah.
I'm out the front.
You're looking at your app now. You can see that he's right outside your house. He's right there.
He's on the street.
Ah, yes.
And I go, okay, well, you're not here because I'm standing outside the apartment. And he goes, oh, okay, just give me a minute. Nothing. Then he calls me and he goes, oh, I'm nearly there. And I'm thinking, okay, he obviously got the wrong place. He's coming down to me. And I go, okay, great. Then I'm sitting there, nothing happens for a couple of minutes, and I go, text him, and I go, so where are you? Are you looking at the picture of his car on the map? Yes, but it's just showing it sort of wobbling around on the street, basically. And then before he even answers, I get, your blah, blah, blah has been delivered. Rate your driver. And I'm like... Right. What? It hasn't been delivered. So I ring him back and I go, it's saying it's been delivered, man.
What the fuck? That was so close.
That was so close.
That was so close. And he sort of said something and then hung up. And then that thing came up again, rate your driver. And I was like... Let me guess, you gave him five stars? No. So I rang him back, cut off. Ranging back, cut off again. Yeah.
How did the host's dinner plans change after a delivery mishap?
And I was effing and jeffing like you wouldn't believe, fellas.
Well, I think you're over it now, though. Yeah.
Ringing back again, and then I get the Uber line, and it's saying, if you've got a complaint to make or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, then you need to do this, this, this, and this. Meantime, I spent 80 bucks on this, and some other bastard's got my food. Yeah. I'm effing and jeffing. All of this on an empty stomach. All of this on an empty stomach. I was hangry. True story. I go back up to the apartment. Evan and Jeff and my wife say, oh, what a disaster. Why don't we just get some Dirty Bird? Yeah, right. I don't want to promote this particular thing. And we went, yeah, just do it, babe.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:01–2:05
2
What challenges did the host face with Uber Eats?
2:05–3:57
3
How did the host's dinner plans change after a delivery mishap?
3:57–5:39
4
What was the outcome of the host's Uber Eats experience?
5:39–8:50
5
How does the host feel about the food delivery service?
8:50–10:46
6
What alternative dinner option did the host consider?
10:46–17:17