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The Hauraki Big Show

OUTRO: Phone Facilities

12 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the key highlights of the Big Show podcast?

0.723 - 29.926 Jason Hoyte

For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or raw doggies. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hauraki. Oh, g'day fellas. Backbone. Hello. You look like you had a tough sleep actually, man. That's the first time I've seen you look up. You got bloodshot eyes there, glassy eyes, actually, and maybe not so much bloodshot.

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30.808 - 41.649 Keezy

No, I had a really good sleep. But you know when you've been knackered for ages and you have a really big sleep and then you're kind of even more fussed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then tonight I'll have another one, hopefully, and be asleep.

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41.67 - 50.163 Jason Hoyte

And then you'll be asleep tomorrow. That's kind of what happens where you go, I've had a big weekend, and you're like, oh. I just need to get to bed on Sunday, I'll be all good. You won't. No.

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Chapter 2: How do the hosts handle post-weekend recovery?

50.843 - 73.324 Jason Hoyte

You need the big one then on the Monday, but then if you've had a back-to-backer like you have. What I used to find was actually day three. Oh. Day three was the day where I was in a hoover of a mood because – Well, that's today for me. Yeah, I think all the chemicals have left your body and you're just sort of – you're running on empty. You know what I mean?

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73.384 - 75.185 Jason Hoyte

Because all the good juice is gone.

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75.225 - 88.738 Keezy

You're just like – You should have seen, because today I had an interview with the Woman's Day lady. Yeah. Oh, it's not a good day for you to do that interview, bro. You're going to come across shocking. Well, we had the photos and that taken weeks ago, which is good.

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89.018 - 103.391 Keezy

But this was just a Zoom interview, my wife and I. And it was literally like five minutes before the interview and I was just like on the couch in a hoodie and track pants. And my wife was like, so are you going to get changed for this interview? And I was just like, ugh. In a hoodie and a hooah.

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103.511 - 115.267 Jason Hoyte

And a hooah. You would have turned it on when the cameras rolled, though. Yeah, you know what I mean. Funnily enough, I had a similar thing this morning because I ended up driving my daughter to her fucking job. Oh, really?

115.287 - 116.91 Keezy

That's not similar, though, is it?

116.93 - 139.924 Jason Hoyte

I'm sure. Well, in the sense that I wasn't hungover or anything, but I literally rolled out of bed, put my trackies on and my daggy old sweatshirt and put my old daggy shoes on. And I was actually not meaning to drive her to work, but she was going to be so late. That she knows that you'll cover for her. Really, she should be the one that bears the repercussions of her own actions.

139.964 - 160.397 Jason Hoyte

And you were talking about it yesterday. I agree. And laughing at the fact that she said she was going to get there on time. Yes. And yet she did because you. Well, she was 10 minutes late. Oh, that's not acceptable, Jason. But I was walking. We were both walking into town up to the car park. And I just caught sight of myself in a reflection. I was like, fuck, I look like a piece of shit.

160.377 - 183.287 Jason Hoyte

I do that a lot now. Like, I've got three sets of tracky pants, but one of them's really daggy, and I actually chose those ones. I didn't think about it when I went out and I went, fuck, I look terrible. But, hey, who cares? Yeah, I roll up to the shops in my Ugg boots and my tracky decks and all that. I don't know about slippers in public, eh? Well, neither do I. I do, and you shouldn't.

Chapter 3: What are the challenges of doing a Zoom interview in casual attire?

205.265 - 228.522 Jason Hoyte

with the paving in town is very slippery. Isn't it sketchy? Jase fell down a crevice in between a couple of tiles. You heard about that? I've got no grip. I'm literally skating along with my sketches. Literally. It's not good. It's not good. Sounds funny. Just in terms of that, I was sitting on the couch today watching this great old Italian movie, right? It was fucking really good.

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228.542 - 232.188 Jason Hoyte

I can't remember what it was called. No, there were no buzzies.

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233.193 - 255.353 Jason Hoyte

It was all about this raging alcoholic. But anyway, I was sitting there and I was starving. And there was nothing really to eat in the house. And I was like, I've got to go and get some food. Were you fuming? I wasn't fuming, but I just couldn't be fucked. And I sat there for two hours and couldn't be fucked. Have you had food since? Yeah, well, then I went, for fuck's sake.

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255.653 - 258.758 Jason Hoyte

Get a grip of yourself and went and got a barn me.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about their food choices and cravings?

259.379 - 268.072 Jason Hoyte

Good job, man. It was good work from me. But the idea. But it was just so ridiculous and I was so hungry, but I just could not be fucked moving.

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268.312 - 274.061 Keezy

Man. Stupid. If there's one thing for me that motivates me, it's food. Like if I'm hungry, I'll fucking go and get food.

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274.081 - 287.206 Jason Hoyte

That's the thing about Keezy, man. He does. Not like you, Jase. You hate it. He does hate food. I love food. He's a piece of shit, eh? That's not what I'm saying. Sometimes, I nearly did the dumplings, actually. I nearly went, fuck this, I'm going to go down and get some.

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287.226 - 294.522 Keezy

I had noodles for lunch. Did you? Sichuan pork noodles, medium spice, wide noodles. From the place.

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294.542 - 294.963 Jason Hoyte

The Yu's.

295.023 - 296.928 Keezy

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The old Yu's there.

296.948 - 297.108 Jason Hoyte

Good?

297.128 - 307.654 Keezy

Fuck, it was good. Yeah, it was really good. What are they called? Sichuan pork noodles. Okay. And get the wide noodles. It's an extra dollar, Jase, which you'll be unhappy about.

307.754 - 318.478 Jason Hoyte

My wife always gets the wide noodles. Jase, that is pure filth. She prefers wide noodles, man. That is disgusting. What's it called? Keezy.

Chapter 5: What funny shopping mishaps do the hosts share?

337.092 - 358.016 Jason Hoyte

You know how I was having stuffed mushroom pasta for dinner last night? Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah. With some fucking chilli in it. You're weird. And it was funny. I was cooking away there and making a beautiful mushroom sauce with a bit of fresh chilli and garlic. And I opened it up and it wasn't what I thought. It wasn't stuffed pasta.

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358.036 - 380.765 Jason Hoyte

It was this little bag of linguine with this grody fucking pasta sauce. So linguine is the... Spirally one? No. Just the spaghetti. The spaghetti. But it was for one serving. And I was like, this is not what I thought it was. I bought it. Did you call Keezy and ask him how to split a one-person meal? Well, fortunately, I made it work, fellas. That sounds about right. I was a legend.

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380.925 - 386.633 Jason Hoyte

You're a backbone. It's always a happy ending. Jase is a backbone. The moral of the story is Jay's a fucking legend.

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387.013 - 395.325 Keezy

But that's like when you just took a backbone shirt on holiday. Why did you buy a serving for one that wasn't even ravioli? And it was bigger than what- It's got the bellamies, man.

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395.425 - 416.426 Jason Hoyte

I'm telling you. I thought it was exactly the same packaging as the stuffed pasta, except it wasn't the stuffed pasta. Except it was completely different. That happens quite a lot. And I just grabbed it and put it in the supermarket trolley there and fucking bought the damn thing. And also eight bottles of shoe polish. Yeah, by accident. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what?

416.706 - 437.417 Jason Hoyte

And they were like eight bucks a pot. So that's like 64 bucks a shoe polish. I mean, I got home and I went to fucking cook and I was like, what the fuck's all this shoe polish? I wanted vinegar. But I made it work, though. Because I'm a legend. I did forget the olive oil, though, fellas. And I went to cook and I went, oh, fuck, we've got no oil. Do you see oil press has gone under?

439.118 - 460.686 Jason Hoyte

Is that an oil? Yeah, an avocado oil. Oh. Actually, and an olive oil. It's a spinny one, you know. It's a Kiwi company, though. They've gone under owing $10 million or some shit. Isn't that devastating? It would be. It would be fucking devastating going under and owing $10 million. Yes. I'd like to go under and owe nothing. Just go under.

460.826 - 478.784 Jason Hoyte

Just go under and just stay there until the water fills my lungs. Yeah, and just keep swimming down to the sand. Just rise lifelessly to the sand. Totally. Yeah. That's so true. And just get washed up on the beach. Thank you. We'll be doing that over in Brisbane, Jase. Jase.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts describe their cooking experiences?

479.424 - 482.287 Jason Hoyte

There must be beaches in Brisbane. Of course there are.

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482.668 - 489.977 Keezy

Jase. Yeah, what? Just for your shopping woes. Yeah. My wife and I last week discovered something called a shared note.

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490.738 - 492.58 Jason Hoyte

Yeah, we do that for our shopping list.

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492.6 - 507.902 Keezy

Yeah, and it pops up on both of our phones. Although we use a reminder. We do that too. So the notepad is on your shopping, on your phone, and you add something to it, and then my wife gets a little notification, Chris added something to the shopping list.

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508.262 - 514.29 Jason Hoyte

You know, if Jay's had his way, look at the way he's looking at you now. He would have you burned at the stake for being a witch.

514.571 - 514.671

Yeah.

515.123 - 521.131 Keezy

Yeah, but he just wants to have a vape, though. Usually, like, if he wasn't in the middle of this bet, he would be like, oh, Keezy, that's really helpful.

521.251 - 521.892 Jason Hoyte

I'm going to do that.

521.912 - 524.736 Keezy

Yeah, then he wouldn't. And I'm going to go to the doctor afterwards. And then he'd buy a new phone.

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