25 Years of Therapy Advice in 12 Minutes
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What is the purpose of this podcast?
I'm going to change your life in the next 12 minutes, so I hope you will take this opportunity to listen. I'm going to drop some knowledge on you that comes from a more legit place than all the major so-called experts who are in the spotlight today. I haven't just read books, and I didn't just interview other people, and I'm not just taking other people's ideas and making them my own.
What is Hilary's experience in therapy?
I'm sharing with you the wisdom and perspective that I've gained from 25 years of working in the trenches, boots on the ground with countless clients as a clinical psychotherapist and a master coach. Literally tens of thousands of hours of active listening in face-to-face one-on-one personal conversations with men, women, and couples. I have been privy to the most intimate and private inner thoughts of thousands of people, hearing directly from them in their most vulnerable times and in the most raw and unfiltered way, what they struggle with, what they worry about and wonder about, sitting with them through their grief and their anxiety, fear, shame, guilt, and insecurities, all the suffering.
So today and in the next couple of episodes, I'm distilling it all down to one powerful model. It's an approach that is the solution to all of life's challenges, obstacles, and struggles. It's a revolutionary new way of thinking about yourself, and it doesn't just change your life, it changes everything. A gift for anyone who has the good sense to listen to me. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. Self-centered. That is what I call the model I've spent the last two and a half decades developing, testing, and perfecting with endless research and application. It's the method I've been using to help my clients experience profound personal transformation.
What is the 'self-centered' model?
So it is proven. It's proven to work. And there are five core concepts that I want to be sharing with you today and in the next four episodes. So make sure that you stick around because you want to get all five of them. They all really build on each other and work together and you don't really want one without the other. So the first thing that I want to share with you is this. No matter what my clients have struggled with, love issues, weight issues, career issues, family problems and parenting, friendship problems, loneliness, body image issues, depression, anxiety, food issues, all those things, no matter what that is, and we all have that stuff in our lives, the solution is never found by focusing on those things.
Why is symptom management not enough?
Because while all of that can be very problematic and it is absolutely painful, none of that is actually the real problem. Those are all surface level problems. They are the secondary problems, which means they are all symptoms of the real problem, which we will get to in just a minute. But most helpers will stay on the surface and help you deal with those situations. They help you deal with your mom problem or your child problem or your marriage problem, offering tactical advice and solutions to only those secondary problems. like working on your communication, scheduling sex, or just having better boundaries. Or they tell you to meditate, breathe, exercise, even count backwards from five to manage your anxiety, all the way to doling out meds.
While it may feel helpful in the moment, it's only temporary because that is actually symptom control. And when you alleviate the pain or the inconvenience of a symptom, There is relief, right?
What is the real problem in personal struggles?
But if you don't deal with the root cause and the core issues, it's really just only a matter of time before the symptoms return, like having another crisis or a problem in your life that you don't know how to deal with, which means you spend your life putting out fires and chasing more temporary solutions, going from one issue to the next in life. So what is the real problem then?
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the purpose of this podcast?
0:00–0:20
2
What is Hilary's experience in therapy?
0:20–2:15
3
What is the 'self-centered' model?
2:15–2:58
4
Why is symptom management not enough?
2:58–3:56
5
What is the real problem in personal struggles?
3:56–4:45
6
How can you take ownership of your life?
4:45–10:40
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