6 Reasons It's Hard To Change And How To Get Unstuck
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What makes change so hard?
Have you ever tried to change a specific behavior, a pattern, or a circumstance in your life, but no matter how much you learn about why you do what you do and how to change it, nothing actually ever really changes? The truth is there are powerful subconscious reasons why you might be holding yourself back from the changes that you wanna make in your life.
What are the three levels of awareness?
So in today's conversation, I'm gonna share the three levels of awareness and six reasons why you might be stuck doing what I call knowing better, but not doing better, so you can break free once and for all. This one will make you rethink your approach to change. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
What are the six reasons why you might be stuck?
If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five star rating on your podcast app, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. I've come to identify that there are three levels of awareness that we have when it comes to the things that aren't working in our lives. So level one awareness is, it's not me that's the problem. It's not me that needs to change. I'm amazing and confident and aware. It's everything out there that's the problem. Whether it's your partner, your parents, your kids, your boss, your team, all the men in the world, all the women in the world, all of society or patriarchy, whatever it is. To these people I say, good luck with that. Those people don't tend to like me very much. Level two awareness is when people say to me, Hillary, I know it must be me.
I know I'm the common denominator here, but I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Please, for the love of God, just tell me what I'm doing wrong. I like these people because they're looking for the answers and they're more likely to succeed. Level three is when we know what we're doing, why we are doing it, where it comes from, and even what we want to be doing differently, but we still can't make the change. This is what I call knowing better, but not doing better. And it's super painful and frustrating, more so than ever, because it's like when we're trying to lose 30 pounds, you know you shouldn't eat the junk food, but you do it anyway. And then later you're just like, God damn it, I did it again. You're mad at yourself for eating the chips. It's really hard. So let's talk about why we get stuck. There are six subconscious reasons why we get stuck.
Number one, let's kick things off with the hardest truth. The reason that you might not be changing is that you really kind of don't want to change or you just don't want to change badly enough. So maybe you feel like you should lose weight because society and all the fitness influencers tell you that you should when you actually are kind of content where you are. So you're going through the motions of trying to change habits and behavior and all the other things, but you don't really want to make it happen. And if you don't really, really want to make it happen, you just won't. And if you want this desired outcome, but you don't want it badly enough, you will only just put in the effort if it's easy or convenient or cheap.
How does mindset affect behavior change?
or you don't have to give up anything. So this is what I call dabblers. If you're really not committed to it and you're doing only half-assed trying, you're going to get half-assed results, okay? Because when we really want something badly enough, we are often willing to do whatever it takes. So if there's a constant something that you're working towards or working on, I would just have you ask yourself this, how badly do I really want this? Most of the time, we do know what we need to do to achieve that thing that we want so badly. It's just what are we willing to do to get it? And that will be your answer that will help you know how much you actually really want this thing. Number two. you're trying to change your behavior instead of your mindset. Have you ever heard the phrase white knuckling it? That's what this is about. So when you are just focusing on changing your behavior without changing what's underneath your mindset, your mentality, the way you're thinking about things, you will stay stuck.
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