Starting over? Again?! If the thought of making a major life change sends you spiraling, it’s time for a reality check—starting fresh isn’t scary, staying stuck is. Hilary shares the six biggest lessons she’s learned from reinventing herself—multiple times. She’s built and walked away from thriving businesses, started fresh, failed fast, and bet on herself—again and again. And now? She’s giving you the real talk on what it actually takes to start over (and make sure it pays off). Episode Highlights: Get clear on what you actually want (spoiler: most people aren’t). Why being half in, half out is a guaranteed way to stay stuck Failure isn’t a thing. Not trying? That’s the real failure. Why betting on yourself is the safest investment you’ll ever make Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Why Starting Over Feels So Hard [03:52] The #1 Mistake People Make When Reinventing Themselves [05:06] How to Fully Commit to Your Next Move [07:04] The Power of Mindset [09:55] Burnout, Fear & the Power of Letting Go [12:13] Redefining Failure: What You’ve Been Getting Wrong [14:08] Betting on Yourself is the Secret to Lasting Success [16:14] Starting Over (Again) & Why It’s Worth It [19:25] You Have Nothing to Lose 💥 Ready to bet on yourself? Hit play. 💫 Subscribe to Hilary's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HilarySilver?sub_confirmation=1 🔥 Grab Hilary’s FREE training, This Changes Everything (and other free resources!): https://hilarysilver.com/guides/ 👉 Follow Hilary on Instagram: @iamhilarysilver 🚀 What’s your biggest reinvention lesson? Drop it in the comments!
Chapter 1: Why is starting over not as terrifying as it seems?
What if I told you that starting over, changing careers, walking away from something, successful or not, or being a beginner again in midlife doesn't have to be terrifying, and that you don't have to be in a bad place to want more? I've started over not once, but three times in the last eight years.
And each time that I did, I walked away from something very successful and lucrative simply because I wanted something new. I just wanted to. So whether you're thinking about making a change or not, this episode is still for you because the six lessons that I've learned from all of these restarts are important life lessons that we all need to hear.
And if you are considering taking a leap, by the time that we're done, you're going to understand the secret to making sure that your big, bold move is the right move and how to make sure that it pays off. And stick around till the very end because I'm saving my juiciest one for the last. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too.
The first time that I started over was in 2017 when I walked away from my thriving therapy practice, one that I had built over 14 years. It had a two-month wait list, and it was mostly referral-based, and I had therapists working for me. And I loved what I was doing, so it was really just pretty successful by every measure. But as time went on, I began to crave more.
I saw that my methods were getting amazing results for my clients And I just felt confined. I felt constricted. And I wanted to help more people and make a bigger impact. And just that little nugget of an initial desire eventually grew into a deep yearning for me, like a deep yearning. And the best way that I can describe it is to use the words of Anne Lamott, the writer, the way she put it.
She says, I don't write so that I can publish. I write so that I can breathe. And that is exactly how it felt to me. I thought about it day and night. I was obsessed. And that's really when I started my habit of waking up at 4 a.m. because I had to find the time to work on it because my kids were still little and I was still running my therapy practice. I jumped right in. I bought courses.
I created courses. I hired coaches. I started putting out content. I even got featured as an expert on the Steve Harvey show. All in all, I spent four years, four long years, and $100,000 in all of my trial and error, trying this and trying that. But I was doing both. I was running my practice while building what would eventually become Ready for Love.
And it was honestly excruciating because I felt stuck in this transition. We often don't recognize how difficult transitions are. It's that limbo of still being where you were and where you have been and not yet quite where you want to be. And so it was really tough doing like that four years.
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Chapter 2: What lessons can be learned from reinventing yourself?
My biggest lesson of all in this very first restart is this. Do not underestimate the power of your mindset. Of all the challenges that I faced in that time, I was the biggest one of all and I didn't even know it. I had all the coaches and all of the programs and all the people that I had hired to help me along the way. And they were all focused on tactics and strategies.
But none of that was ever going to matter so long as I was standing in the way. I was my own biggest obstacle, deep down believing that I didn't have what it takes, doubting myself. And that success is like that kind of success is for everyone else, but not for me. Even though intellectually, I knew that what I had to share was amazing.
And I had all this evidence to prove it with my clients telling me how much they love their work with me and how much better their lives are. So I got it intellectually. But there was still this stubborn, deep down limiting belief that I couldn't do it, that I didn't have what it takes.
And I began to identify with the struggle, telling the struggle story over and over of how I'm stuck and why I'm stuck and how all the things that I had tried hadn't worked. So don't neglect to focus on your own growth in the restart process because your identity is everything and it is the critical key to whether whatever it is that you're about to start works out for you or not.
Identity is who you are. It's who you think you are, what you believe about yourself and what's possible for you and how you talk to yourself. So keep this phrase in mind. Identity work is the bridge between where you've been and everything that you're meant to have. Okay. And I'm going to come back to this at the very end. So make sure you stay with me. So moving on.
At this point, it's five years later, 2022. I've done more with Ready for Love than I ever could have possibly imagined. I did it. Ready for Love is this massive success that I didn't even dare to dream about. Thousands of clients came countless success stories and a team of coaches and enrollment team, all the admin support I needed.
And our revenue just doubled year after year into the many millions. And I have to say, it was life-changing in every way. And then I walked away from all of it. I literally shut it down and turned off the lights, literally hit the off switch. And let me tell you, no one understood it. My friends, my family, my team, even my clients were shocked and unhappy about it. But I was burnt out.
The burnout was sneaky because it hid beneath all the adrenaline and the complete joy and thrill of all of our client wins and the lifestyle and the freedom that came from the money and But I was exhausted and I felt trapped. And I wanted to continue doing new things, but I just felt like I couldn't. I had no capacity for anything else.
And I was just so embedded in the business that I didn't know how to make room for anything else. And so I know it seems crazy to walk away from my $12 million coaching company that I had built. It was my labor of love. It was four years in the making and then five years of just building it and building it. And it really was the highlight of my life thus far.
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