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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
welcome to the hypnotist the show that gives you inside access to cutting-edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine issues brought to you by the hypnotherapist demanded by celebrities ceos and even royalty adam cox these recordings took place live from adams clinic in london's world-famous harley street so get yourself comfortable and enjoy today's episode of the hypnotist
Hi, it's Adam here and you're about to listen to a hypnosis session all about habit change using incremental progress. And I was working with a client that had a lot of things they wanted to change or improve and would quite often berate themselves for not making as much progress as they thought they should be making.
And that's because there was a tendency to compare how they were living life, their habits, their behaviors, against this imaginary version of them that they considered that's how they should be living their life. And every time they fell short, they felt bad about themselves. And that meant that the game wasn't really winnable because it was never quite good enough.
What this hypnosis session does is it actually uses the industry that this client was from, which was the music industry, a music teacher. And this client intuitively knew that if they expected their students that didn't know how to play an instrument to then play the instrument perfectly, they would lose all enthusiasm to even learn.
And actually what they had to do is to incrementally improve by focusing on what they were doing and allow the improvements to naturally come. That then becomes a metaphor for the client themselves to say, right, if I do the right things, I'll get the right results.
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Chapter 2: How does the concept of incremental progress apply to habit change?
And to focus on the tiny improvements and progress, not the finished goal. And that's really important. So if you've been
stopping yourself doing certain things let's say that you want to lose weight and in your head you have to eat either salads every day or or just eat whatever you want actually neither are optimal and what's better is to eat a little less today and feel like that's a win or drink one extra glass of water and feel like that's a win
The incremental progress means that you get that dopamine, you get the success, the body adapts slowly, and then you can make the progress. It doesn't have to be with losing weight. It can be about sleep. It can be about writing a book. It can be doing so many things that... You don't write a book by suddenly writing an entire book in one day.
Chapter 3: What metaphor does Adam use to illustrate incremental improvement?
It's a page at a time, an idea at a time. So all of this links to this idea of incremental progress. To get the most value from this session, though, I want you to think of one area in your life that you're not quite living it the way you would want to live it. And I have a feeling it's because you have a big goal or a high standard.
And I want you to ask yourself, what would tiny incremental regular progress look like in that area of your life while you listen to this session? Please be aware, the client I was working with is an individual. Some of the suggestions are going to be right for them.
So if at any point you think you might want to work with me directly rather than listening to recordings that I did for other people, You can either go to the links in the show notes and just book some sessions and we just work together.
Some people like to have a consultation call first, in which case you can get that consultation call at a 50% discount if you use the code podcast and then you can book that.
Chapter 4: Why is it important to focus on small wins rather than perfection?
There's also a free webinar there as well. So check out those stuff. For now, though, find a quiet, comfortable place where you won't be distracted or disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, Breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and relaxation.
And, as you exhale, give yourself permission to release any tension, any stress, any worries, any pressures. Just allow it to leave your body in that outward breath. And when you breathe in, breathe in deeper than you normally would. And as you exhale, just allow the outward breath to keep on elongating and extending a wonderful release valve. That's it.
You can notice your breath, without changing it, without improving it. Setting an intention to release, without forcing a release. And so, the lungs fill, and then they release. That wonderful small, automatic gesture,
of the body keeping its own rhythm without being held to account you don't criticize or shame yourself for breathing too fast or too slow you just allow it and as you allow that awareness to move gently through the body you can notice where it rests
and you can release any tension the moment you become aware of it that pleasant heaviness of a body that has permission right now to do absolutely nothing at all no targets, no standards nowhere to be just this breath Breathing in, and breathing out.
And as that settling continues, perhaps you notice a quietening, a gradual turning down of the noise that fills the day, like a room slowly growing still. and I wonder if you can use the power of your imagination to recall a staircase perhaps a memorable staircase maybe it was memorable because of the building all the time, maybe it was a staircase of wooden banisters and marble steps
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Chapter 5: How can recognizing progress impact self-esteem?
Or maybe just a carpeted staircase, from a place that was called home. Imagine standing at the top of this staircase, and very soon I will count downwards from ten to one. And this staircase could be straight, or spiral, steep or shallow, but each number represents a step down the staircase, to that place of going deeper, and deeper relaxed.
First step, ten, feeling a ripple of relaxation, and then nine, Breathing out slower and deeper. Eight. Just imagine another step down the staircase, arms or legs feeling limp, loose or heavy. As eight becomes seven, deeper now. More comfortable with each step down. Six and then five. Just imagine halfway down
that staircase leading deeper to your subconscious mind and then five becomes four and then three and just imagine getting closer to the final step as you drift deeper and deeper relaxed that's it three becomes two becomes one that's it deeper than you've been safe, relaxed, comfortable.
And you don't have to remember a place, but just connect to a feeling of feeling safe, comfortable, and relaxed. As you start to think about something that's in your world, imagine someone handed you a piece of music beautiful yet complex, and they said, learn this, you need to play it perfectly tonight.
I want you to get a sense, something that's possible within a few days, could even be easy within a few weeks, becomes impossible if the expectation is immediately and maybe you'd know immediately that that game that request was unfair that whoever set those terms didn't understand music or learning or what it actually takes to get good at something real That doesn't mean the intention is wrong.
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Chapter 6: What role do promises to oneself play in personal growth?
Perhaps the intention is high standards, learning quickly, doing something well. But if the game isn't winnable, most people choose not to play. And I wonder how many things you could be doing but aren't doing, not because you can't, but simply because the standards, the expectations, the connotations seem unfair, harsh, difficult.
And what if you've been playing that game with yourself over many years, across different areas of your life. And interestingly, you hold other people to a different standard than you hold yourself. When someone else is learning to do something new, you notice progress. There is encouragement
you get them to focus on the process and not the outcome but for yourself doesn't it sometimes feel that anything other than perfection somehow means you've let yourself down and why is it? that you know there's a strategy that works for others And yet the strategy for yourself is punitive and harsh. And here's what your deeper mind already knows.
And what right now, we will help your subconscious and conscious mind start to remember. that the problem was never your willingness or your capability the only problem was how you define success your scoring system for measuring results and I think you've already started a very effective system But you're not being generous enough with recognizing it.
I want you to think of your jar with those marbles in it. Perhaps it's clear glass. And I want you to think, what did you have to do to earn those marbles? And maybe, maybe the level is too strict, challenging. What if it was possible for you to do four marbles in a single afternoon? Because there was four different areas of your life Where you made a promise to yourself and kept it.
You made progress. You started something you haven't done for a while. You felt proud. Proud of doing something that took your life in the right direction. There is no rationing when it comes to these marbles. No rule that it says it has to be one per day.
Anything that represents progress, a process you do, that if you did that consistently is likely to lead to wonderful results, is worthy of a marble in the jar.
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Chapter 7: How can listeners apply these concepts in their own lives?
And if it fills, keep it as a reminder of all the progress you've made, and get another jar. And every time you see a jar full of marbles, you have irrefutable evidence that you are building momentum in your life. And that part within that keeps score begins to notice something different of you has been trying to avoid failure, but I think it prefers to see progress accumulated.
What if we imagine a future with less of the stick and more of the carrot? Evidence of progress, of movement, of evolutionary changes that set you on the right course. That jar doesn't care whether Monday was perfect. And so what if there's a day with not many marbles, if the following day there's several, and your nervous system
that ancient pattern recognizing part of you starts to understand something that it's been waiting a long time to understand that every marble in the jar is evidence that you keep your word quietly, incrementally one marble at a time
And maybe there's been a time in your life, or maybe you've known a musician, talented, knows how to play that instrument well, but they've had a time where they stopped playing, and yet when they return it almost feels like something comes flooding back in the same way that sometimes a friend you haven't seen for years all it takes is a conversation and all those years disappear
Like no time was ever missing. And I want you to think in those areas of your life where you already know how to do certain things. The goal is just to reawaken that part that already knows how. Those neural pathways are waiting, they've been waiting for a while, and all they need is a few experiences, just to release the dust, to awaken the capabilities that were just lying dormant.
And you've done this before and parts of you remember. And I want you to think about the promises you keep to other people. It could be a basic promise that you'll meet them at a particular time, or you'll drop someone somewhere. in time to be somewhere at that time. And I wonder if you can notice that the same standards that you can honor for other people, you're able to honor yourself too.
Because other people are other people, and you are someone too, and the promises you make to yourself, those quiet agreements, those are real commitments, as real as you've made to anyone else, and it's not about giving yourself impossible standards to maintain,
but each promise is an opportunity an opportunity to honor your own commitments and whenever you keep them even if that's partially or imperfectly something in you grows it's not about discipline, it's about trust self-trust the quiet accumulating knowledge that you can rely on yourself, that your word to yourself means something.
And the more that trust builds, the more natural it becomes to keep the next promise, and then the next. And not because someone is watching, but because you know who you are when no one is watching. From this point forward, I want you to define a promise made from yourself to yourself that you keep as integrity.
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts does Adam share about maintaining motivation?
And integrity is doing what's right even when no one is watching. And so, you're allowed to make progress without it needing to be perfect, and every small step counts. Be generous with the marbles. You can earn them
but make it so you feel proud proud of the progress and if you notice yourself beginning to slip into old patterns I want you to imagine how easy it is to turn the tide with curiosity
by asking yourself what's the smallest thing I can do right now and sometimes it might be stopping what you're doing and doing something else and whenever you do that stop midway through an old habit that isn't serving you anymore and do something new Isn't that deserving of a marble in the jar? The neural pathways are there, and so the effort was never wasted.
Every good habit you've ever practiced has left clues deep within your neurons and neural pathways of your brain. a groove, a readiness, a familiar shape. And don't be surprised if you can reactivate them quicker than you think you can. And you don't have to be perfect, you just need to begin. You are someone who keeps your word to yourself. You focus on progress, not perfection.
you create and play games that are winnable and every small move is real every progress every step in the right direction can be represented by a single marble and don't be surprised if the more marbles that go in the jar the more marbles you want to put in the jar. You're building something quietly, consistently, one day at a time.
I want you to imagine yourself, over the next few days, looking for that low-hanging fruit, those easy wins. Perhaps what deserves a marble tomorrow isn't sufficient to get a marble three weeks from now, but that doesn't matter. Find those low-hanging fruit, do the things that are worthy of progress, reward yourself, acknowledge yourself, and then make it a tiny bit more challenging
yet still winnable. You don't need a badge just for turning up, but you can recognize that sometimes a journey of a thousand miles does indeed start with that very first step.
and i wonder what first steps you'll take over the next few days and how many more marbles end up in the jar and how many more promises you'll keep to yourself and i wonder what impact that will have on your confidence, your self-esteem, your self-belief perhaps even it may ripple through
to increasing levels of quality sleep and as you hold that thought it's time to return so take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your nose and wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes connecting, calibrating to the here and the now as I now count from 1 to 10
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