The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Kelsey Grammer Reveals All: Lessons on Love, Loss, Healing & Remembering (Pt 1)
08 May 2025
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode with Kelsey Grammer?
in the writing of it, that I was going to have this chance to be with my sister again and to hold her and to love her and to hold her hand and laugh at things together again. And it was a really extraordinary thing. It was a great, great life we had together, which is why it was so tragic to me. It was so hard for me for a long time to kind of wrestle out of that.
And I really didn't do it for a long time. And I think the message that came through was Karen saying, it's time. You need to... remember and live your life.
Will you tell me more about that, like about its impact on you when you chose to write this? Sure.
Well, I feel a lot lighter. I did actually get to drop a lot of grief. Grief is a heavy weight to continue to carry. It's very hard. And you suffer with this idea that, oh, by letting go of the grief, you're somehow letting go of them. But I learned through this book that that isn't the case.
By hanging on to the things that are good, actually, I'm closer to her as I was when I was with her, when she was with us. And so she is with us again. That's the key. So it's been great. And she's with my family now. I'm with Kate. And Kate, you know, dealt with me writing this for two and a half years. And...
When I finally turned to Kate, and this always chokes me up a little bit, but I'm getting more used to saying it, but she's such an extraordinary woman. When I said, I finished it, I turned and said, it's done. And she said, I've missed you.
Thanks, babe. So I do this all the time. I do this with my kids. They all go like, oh, here he goes again.
But it's a very rewarding life to care this much about things. So it's okay.
Tell me about your wife.
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Chapter 2: How does Kelsey Grammer remember his sister Karen?
And maybe they never share it with anyone else, but it's their own kind of private process of doing that. How do you know... How do you know for sure that Karen is with you and has been with you through this process of the book?
Yeah. I guess I just know, but... Years ago, people would say to me things like, you know, well, she's here, you know. She's here. And I'd sort of, you know, get skeptical or whatever. But then it became overwhelmingly clear that Karen and I hadn't, like, left each other. We stayed together. And I almost...
From the moment she was gone, or the moment she was killed, I sensed that I was living with her, that she was along for the ride, always there. I know she was with my mom sometimes. One guy I was meeting a while back said something to me. He said, oh, and did one of those things. And then he said, yeah. And she said, she's sorry. She didn't realize that the grief would be so, so hard.
It's interesting. Yeah. So I've had reminders from a lot of people. You get your own taste for this stuff. Yeah, Karen's real. She's there. It happens. She has spoken to Kate, I think, a few times. I'm not going to pull her in too much on that. She's been available because I think she's been really attracted to life, you know, really like a flame. You know, it's like you want to be near life.
You want to be near love. It's like my version of heaven is I can't imagine God would take us to a place where we would not remember our love or where suddenly we don't get to be with our loved ones or, oh, you guys are done. You'll never see each other again. That's nonsense. Okay.
You know, one of my friends, Erwin McManus, who is a pastor, he was giving this keynote speech right before me at an event. And his whole keynote was on quantum entanglement. And I'm thinking, what is quantum entanglement? But I'm listening to the whole thing. And he said something so powerful. He said that he believes that...
Because we grieve and because we feel so deeply for people we've loved and lost that once they're gone, they're gone in physical form, that he believes it's proof of eternal life. The fact that we still feel so deeply. And he talks about like resonance between souls and how it's proof that their soul... Um, and that there's eternal life based on how strong we feel for somebody.
And if that person just disappeared, that we wouldn't feel that connection or that sense of they're here or they're with me or they're, they're, you know, showing me a sign or giving me a nudge or speaking to me or speaking to my wife or any of those things. And it was so profound the way he explained it.
He explained it far more eloquently than I just did, but he explained it and I had never thought of it that Right.
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