Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Smart, sharp, and slightly unhinged. Late night's fresh perspective. The Last Show with David Cooper.
ever feel a deep sense of gratitude for another person but you struggle to show your appreciation for them well we are going to tell you just how to do that here on Therapy Thursdays on a Wednesday Gary Dierenfeld is here he's a social worker and a therapist and Gary I am so grateful that you come to this show every week and I appreciate you so much did I do a good job just there
Yeah, because I feel it sincerely. And I got to tell you, I find you so impressive because we can land on a topic and you are instantly there. So that's one. Number two is you always greet me so warmly. Aww. Yeah, like you do. And like no time has passed between one week to another and we are just spot on. I love that about you.
Chapter 2: What strategies can we use to express gratitude and appreciation?
It's in part your professionalism and it's also in part just who you are. I don't even know how to respond back. You are warm. You are knowledgeable. You are humble. You have great points, but if I challenge you on them and I present you with evidence, you change your opinion. You're not stubborn. You're great to work with. You were away last week.
And you did something to me that is so Gary Dierenfeld. You are such a warm therapist. You got upgraded on a flight or you had a great experience on an airline. So you filled out a comment card. You showed your appreciation for the airline. Who does that? I wouldn't even think to do that. I think I don't stop and think.
I mean, there's something missing in my brain, that trigger of like, here's someone in my life, whether it's a stranger or someone I know well. And how can I take a few moments of time to really show that appreciation? I'm like missing the check in my brain. And how do I get it? That's my question. First of all, I realize that most people live their lives inside of a tiny bubble.
Rarely, rarely in truth receiving positive feedback. And I actually take delight in making other people's day.
Chapter 3: How can showing appreciation impact our relationships?
And here's the thing, Dave, it doesn't take much. And I do it without looking for anything in return. I just do it, damn it, because it's nice. Yeah, for the attentive listener, we'll know you weren't here last week. You were in Australia visiting family, friends, whatever.
Yeah, I've been around the world in recent weeks, and I haven't really posted about any of my travels because some was with family, some was with friends, and they love their anonymity. And so I respect that. I recently found out I don't know how to say that word. I was saying anonymity, not anonymity. And I was saying anonymity. Anyway, not important.
For the one person who emailed me and said, you're saying that word wrong, I figured it out. Anonymity. No, how do you say it? Now I can't say it because I've heard it wrong so many times. Anonymity. The other word I can't say is peculiar, peculiar, peculiar, peculiar, peculiar. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Whatever. Keep going. Okay. So you're in Australia.
On the way to Australia, we're flying with Cathay Pacific. Uh, and I'm in a slightly upgraded seat. So I have a bit more leg room, but I'm not in the pods. If you know what that is on these intercontinental flights. Yeah. You're not in like the lay down $75 billion seat. You're just. Exactly. Exactly. You're sitting next to me in the, in the, in the, in the scum cabin. Pretty much. Pretty much.
Yeah. Anyways, even before boarding, you know, I had to get my, um, boarding pass, um, And I was told that they can't give it to me because I haven't signed whatever, the visa. I don't have my visa for Australia. First of all, I was shocked. Australia? Come on, we're both Commonwealth countries. Why do I need a visa? Yeah, but you just fill it out online and it gets approved instantly. Correct.
But you have to do it. Correct. But me, the nervous traveler, you know that. All of a sudden, I have this extra task literally at the last second. And I'm fumbling through my phone, figuring this out. Remember, I'm 70 years old. I wasn't born on social media. Anyways, they helped me download it. They helped me fill it. They were so patient with me.
I go to the bathroom a couple times, 70 years old. I'll keep saying I'm 70. And every time I went to the bathroom on this huge flight, they were always clean. Where are we in a society where an airline is considered exceptional for just having a clean bathroom? Like the standard is like so low on the average flight with a trashed bathroom that for it to be clean is like a great joy.
That's where we're at. So I went on their app, the Cafe Pacific app. Every airline has their app. And I'm trying desperately to find that place where you can give some feedback, which I found. And I left a long message that clearly detailed my experiences and why they were exceptional. I was pleased. I never thought anyone used that.
Like when I get it from like the ride share app sends, oh, how was your ride? Like, sure, I give the driver five stars or whatever, but I'm not like filling out. Is it just I need to think about how I can take time to make someone feel appreciated? You know, we are all so self-centered. It doesn't mean we're narcissists. But we live in our own bubble.
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Chapter 4: What are effective ways to show gratitude in everyday situations?
Anyways, I sent that off to Cafe Pacific and on the way home from China to Toronto, I I got an upgrade to business class. Now I'm in this $25,000 seat. Y'all can't be that much. $25,000? No way. $12,000. Well, I think it's around $12,000. Whatever. Expensive seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. It is that huge. It blew me away, the cost of this stuff. And I'm getting...
All the perks associated with it. I haven't a clue. And, you know, when I went to check in, they said, oh, they looked at my boarding pass. Oh, sir, please come with me. They take me back to, you know, where they give you the boarding passes. You've had an upgrade, sir. And that was it. You just left your wife behind in the regular? Did she get upgraded?
She happened to not be with me on this trip, if you can imagine. Okay. I was like, you're in trouble, Buster. Well, this was a rare event for me. So I don't know if it came because of showing gratitude or not, but it always pays to show gratitude. You know, the benefit is you grow from it. You can feel good about yourself for making the day of someone else.
And, you know, we talk about the shape of the world today, and it's not in good shape. And we know why it's not in good shape, so I'm not going to go down that rabbit hole. But we do have agency. We do have the capacity to do things and shape the experience of others. You're not going to improve things for, what, the 7 billion people on this planet? Correct. Six, eight? Correct.
But in your small community and in the people that you interact with, you can make a difference. I got to say, I... I experienced this with my mother. My mother was that person. She had phenomenal relationships wherever she went and with all of her service providers and the absolutely wonderful fellow who managed security at the condo, who typically was at the front gate.
She would bring him a sandwich. You know, if she was out shopping, she'd bring him a sandwich. You know, she tells the story one time. She left him with the uncooked chicken instead of the sandwich. Hey, have a raw chicken. Look, there's something that a friend of mine who is the last person on the world who you would think would do this. Yeah.
He does this gratitude journals and he talks about how it really has improved his life. I don't know outwardly if he seems any different, but he is always talking about the benefits of gratitude journaling. This is how we wire our brains. A 67-year-old grandfather fails to show up for a meeting with his son at a local tire shop, sparking a desperate search. And he wouldn't be the only victim.
I'm Global News crime reporter Nancy Hixt. You might listen to a lot of true crime podcasts this year, but they're not crime beat. Season 8 drops April 21st. But you can hear the first story now, one month early, only on Amazon Music.
the heck do we show our appreciation for others it's sometimes to me it feels like staring at a blank page like how am i supposed to connect with someone who i want to show that i'm grateful for uh what do i do do i write them a note do i buy them a gift Do I figure out a compliment that says a nice thing about them, even though my head's blank? How can we show gratitude and appreciation?
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