The Luxury Podcast

Titanique Rehearsals and MORE Holiday Uncertainties

28 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William's been hard at work rehearsing for Titanique, whilst Jonathan is here to clear up the upcoming Frigiliana holiday confusion (with varying leve...

Stains

27 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, William and Jonathan will be tackling Stains! They've discussed their favourite cleaning products in previous episodes, but do they actually ge...

Help I Sexted The Luxury Podcast

21 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It's the collaboration you've all been waiting for! Today, the boys are joined by William's other podcast husband - Jordan North!Jonathan and William ...

BBQs

20 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today Jonathan and William discuss how to host a luxury BBQ! What's on the menu? How is it served? What drinks will be in the fridge? The boys discuss...

New Pipes and Holiday Confusion

14 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Tensions rise among the boys this week: Silicone Shaun accepts William’s tea but snubs Jonathan’s; the upcoming Frigiliana trip is on the rocks; a...

Hangovers

13 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After a couple of sore heads recently, William and Jonathan felt it was about time to discuss Hangovers. They talk about cures, ways to avoid one, and...

Dirty Hands and Rolling Pins

07 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Big news, Jonathan's Master Blaster has been installed and he is chuffed! This leads neatly into a discussion on security systems and how best to deal...

Festivals

06 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan are discussing a subject that they're extemely knowledgable about today - Festivals! They're chatting about dream line-ups, porta...

Master Blaster & Alternate Etiquette Experts

30 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Jonathan's toying with the idea of having a Master Blaster installed, but its noise is anything but luxury! The boys also chat about workplace rudenes...

Takeaways

29 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Join William and Jonathan as they chew over their luxury takeaway orders! The boys also discuss the etiquette around sharing (or NOT sharing) dishes, ...

Scented Bin Bags and the Discharge Boys

23 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Jonathan and William have been down the local pub having some fruitful conversations! We finally get to take a whiff of Jonathan's scented bin bags wh...

Cleaning The Kitchen

22 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After the resounding success of our episode on Cleaning the Bathroom, Jonathan and William return to share their tips on Cleaning the Kitchen - in sui...

Stolen Trolleys and Sex Swings

16 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William has been up to no good stealing trollies and bottles of gin - whatever will he do next? The boys also chat about doggy periods, sex room's and...

Sleep

15 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Jonathan and William share their tips on how to sleep in a luxury manner. Chilled sparkling water by the bed, the comfort of a set security ala...

Noisy Nostrils and Carboot Mayhem

09 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Jonathan takes us through the highs and lows of his recent long-haul flight, while William shares tales from a boozy night on the town. Plus, e...

Bins

08 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered how many bins Jonathan and William have in their homes? Or what style or luxury design they opt for? Well, look no further! Tod...

New Laws and Doggy Period Pants

02 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

On today's bonus, Jonathan updates us on his (kind of) vegetarian supper, whilst William has news from his recent Silicone Sean visit. The boys also t...

Public Transport

01 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan have a lot to say about Public Transport! What's JVS's favourite passtime during his commute? Has William ever used a Lime Bike? ...

Pudding Parties and Expelling Wind

26 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

On today's bonus, Jonathan's had his ears micro-suctioned and William presents a slideshow of buffets he's hosted over the years (which you can watch ...

Buffets

25 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan explore the art of luxury buffets. William shares his thoughts on Icelands frozen goods, while Jonathan explains how he conquered...

Neck Cracking & A Luxury Birth

19 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another luxury bonus episode! We'll be covering massages, neck cracking, accidental wind, and the most luxury way to be born (obviousl...

Hotels

18 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, William and Jonathan are chatting about Hotels! They'll be covering booking mishaps, unsavoury guest behaviour, and ladies of the night!If ...

Piers Vernon-Smith & Sebastian Hanson

12 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another luxury bonus episode! We'll be covering personalised registration plates, luxury middle names, and Barb's baps. Plus, we almos...

Games

11 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another episode of the Luxury Podcast! For those of you in our Luxury Member's Club, you'd have recently watched Jonathan and William ...

Laminated Recipes and Diva Dogs

05 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this luxury bonus episode, William opens up about his possibly life-threatening boiler woes, whilst Jonathan encourages William to smell his todger...

Hosting

04 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, Jonathan and William are discussing Hosting! What makes a good host? How do you ask people to leave who are overstaying their welc...

Microwaved Eggs & Creative Juices

26 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back Bucketheads to another Luxury bonus. Today, Jonathan and William will be discussing disruptive washing machine, JVS's keyboard skills, an...

Gifts

25 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, William and Jonathan explore the art of luxury gifting. Giving and receiving, the best and the worst, they even touch upon wrapping! Jonathan s...

Dirty Bodies & Birthday Indulgence

19 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this luxury bonus episode, William begins with an update on his new sofa, followed by a discussion about birthday indulgence. The episode continues...

Brands

18 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, William and Jonathan dive into the world of brands. From high-street staples like Wetherspoons to everyday essentials like toilet roll, the...

Decaying Hamsters and Trilby Hats

12 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another luxury bonus episode! We'll be covering deceased rodents and suspicious smells, before diving into your correspondence on ever...

Mobiles & Texting Etiquette

11 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, Jonathan and William start with an impromptu sing-along to their personalised ringtones, before chatting about voice note etiquett...

Executive Vacuum Cleaners and Office Tracksuits

05 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s bonus episode, Jonathan shares his enthusiasm for a new executive vacuum cleaner. We help a listener solve a wedding food dilemma, explor...

Cleaning The Bathroom

04 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Jonathan walks us through his bathroom-cleaning routine, describing everything from his product choices to his preferred cleaning attire. Willi...

Luxury Live!

30 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for an evening of song, dance, revelry and innuendo as we revisit our extremely luxury and executive live show. Highlights include another mus...

Funeral Tombola and Alla Cacciatora

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s bonus episode, we reflect on Jonathan’s Chicken Alla Cacciatora over the weekend, alongside stories of a toilet eruption and a fune...

Friendship

28 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, William and Jonathan are discussing Friendship. The high and lows, whether or not it's juvenile to have a 'best friend', and how to end a f...

Dog's Seasons and Shark's Biscuits

22 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It's another varied bonus episode this week, with subjects ranging from home décor, to dog adolescence, to Chess (both the return of the musical, and...

Days Out

21 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan are here to advice on what makes a luxury day out. They'll be discussing William's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang discovery, Jonathan's ...

Brick in a Box and Dietary Preferences

15 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The studio has never looked better than in this week's episode when William decided to bring in his most luxurious Christmas present. There's also dis...

Drinks

14 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan are in their element this week, discussing a subject very close to their hearts. Topics range from Jonathan's hate of water, to W...

Pantomime Punch-ups and Ritzy Restaurants

08 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The first bonus episode of 2026 is a suitably dramatic one, with William and Jonathan discussing some real-life panto villains. They then move on to t...

Accessories

07 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's main episode, William and Jonathan tackle everything from tattoos to tote bags, and from perfumes to piercings. Plus, William demonstra...

Pick Of The Pods, 2024

24 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In our last episode of the year, Jonathan and William reflect on the most luxury, executive, and hilarious moments of 2024. Thank you for your co...

Firefighters' Funerals and Doggy Decorum

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan look towards their very fancy Christmas do. Plus, a surprising appearance from Jennifer Patterson, ...

Christmas

17 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan are feeling (somewhat) festive this week as they look ahead to Christmas. They discuss when the appropriate time to put up decora...

Splits In Suspenders

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a particularly silly bonus episode of the podcast this week, featuring a showcase of William doing the splits. Plus, discussion of braces and s...

Headwear and Footwear

10 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan delve into hats and shoes this week - from what makes a luxury hat, to hat-wearing etiquette, to if wearing 'comedy socks' is eve...

Taxi Rage and Trouser Stains

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus, the team look back on Luxury Live and share some very executive behind the scenes stories - including a mishap with one presente...

Dating

03 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's main episode, William and Jonathan share their lessons of love - from who should pay, to how to deal with rude behaviour, to why Wagama...

Roommate Resurrections and Holiday Hilarity

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

 In this week's bonus episode, Jonathan's excited for his upcoming holiday, and William's excited for the gift he's bringing him back. Plus, livi...

Cooking

26 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today's episode is an assault on the senses that sees Jonathan and William sharing their very favourite taste sensations. We also return to Jonathan's...

Barb's Baps and Dental Disgorges

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's yet another varied bonus episode this week, starting with an update from William's first Halloween experience. The true horror, though, lies in a...

Parenting

19 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's the return of former children William and Jonathan, as this week they're discussing parenting. Conversation topics range from wondering if they'd...

Luxury Lurgies and Manly Pinks

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jonathan is suffering with an executive sniffle, but thankfully William is on hand to tend to his needs and keep things firmly pointed in a luxury dir...

Radio

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Tune in your wireless to The Luxury Podcast, as this week our hosts are paying homage to the radio. William and Jonathan share their recommendations f...

Runaway Vicars, Good Bants and Sex Ponds

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, we have an update on the pressing items in our hosts' lives (Jonathan's glasses and William's cleaner). Plus, Jane McDon...

Personal Grooming

05 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan compare their personal grooming routines and discover that one host's is far more lengthy than the other’...

Persistent Pests and Fryer Fallouts

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus, William and Jonathan's friendship is put to the ultimate test. In JVS's words, they've never been so close to falling out - and ...

Halloween

29 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan attempt to put a luxury spin on spooky season. The two cover everything from the fancy dress of Jonathan's youth, to the most eff...

Fainting Scares and Special Chairs

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan catch up after William's housewarming party. Jonathan revisits some of his more outrageous comments...

Pet Hates

22 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan explore their pet hates - of which there are many, of course. Two previous episode themes collide, with c...

Ancient Alarms and Multifocal Mirth

16 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William gives a very important update about his new alarm system - and Jonathan is himself alarmed to discover his may b...

Funerals

15 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan consider the biggest question of them all: how to have a luxury death. The two plan their funerals in gre...

Headboard Schemes and Deathly Dreams

09 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan compare notes on how to pick the most thorough and executive cleaner. Jonathan puts himself forward...

Supermarkets

08 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Follow Jonathan and William down the aisle in this week's episode, all about supermarkets. The two reflect on the different shop names, what they say ...

Dame Patricia Routledge (1929 - 2025)

03 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

With the sad news of Patricia Routledge's death, William and Jonathan pause to remember the award-winning actress, and star of ‘Keeping Up Appearanc...

Restaurant Rudeness and Luxurious Lathering

02 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan kick things off with an update on their social calendars, before a very in-depth discussion on the ...

School Days

01 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan revisit their school days, and the wardrobe malfunctions, questionable language lessons and brutish bulli...

Well-Hung Walls and Waterlogged Balls

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan run through the alarms, smoke screens and panic rooms that make one's system thoroughly secure. Plu...

Health

24 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan will see you now! This week's episode is all about health, and the two take a trip down memory lane, revisiting some of their mos...

Pasty Crumbs and Pilot Holes

18 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, a rat is sighted in one presenter's garden, and the other has to contend with pasty crumbs in the carpet. If this doesn'...

Horoscopes

17 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, former children William and Jonathan seek out the spiritual with an exploration of horoscopes. The two scour over their own ho...

Tree Roots and Crusty Tissues

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan discuss all the latest mod-cons - from faux wood windows, to sausage-shaped dog poo bins, to the ve...

Flatmates

10 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan take a trip down memory lane and revisit their flatshares - complete with stories of broken bones, secret...

Swingers, Saline and Stainless Steel

04 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William gives an update on his movements - house and otherwise. Jonathan, in a rare moment, finds a cleaning case in whi...

Sunday Roasts

03 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan get into the meat of the matter, defining the most luxury and executive Sunday roast for the masses. The ...

Boots, Books and Beef Curtains

28 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's another bonus episode that's as eclectic as it is executive, with topics ranging from dog beds, to sex perverts, to glasses shopping. Plus, Willi...

Moving House

27 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William is approaching completion - and ponders how best to clean up after. Jonathan lends his consumer expertise to this conu...

Constitutional Cauliflower And Secret Shoe Shines

21 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan decide on the most executive form of air conditioning, before revisiting two of their most infamous...

Physical Exercise

20 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's main episode, William and Jonathan discuss Physical Exercise - and appropriately enough, start the episode getting quite hot and bother...

Rats, Swingers and Opera Capes

14 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

No stone is left unturned in this week's bonus episode, with William and Jonathan ranging from conversation about pest control, to England's new footb...

Laundry

13 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's Laundry Day in this week's episode, and Jonathan is in ecstasy, treating William to a demonstration of his very executive - and very potent - det...

Doggy Digestion Disasters

07 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William shares a story of an injury incurred on holiday, and Jonathan an even more shocking story from his 'pupernity' l...

Houseguests

06 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan discuss the way to host one's friends and family overnight in the most executive and attentive fashion. W...

Floral Displays and Executive Pegs

31 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s bonus episode William rails against cubicle etiquette violations, while Jonathan shares his holiday tradition of travelling with a pe...

Money

30 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, William and Jonathan turn their attention to money. They discuss how not to behave when you have it, whether it’s ever acceptable to ask ...

Approved Flaps and Regretful Windows

24 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s bonus episode, William reveals his quest to get hench, Jonathan shows off his approved envelope flaps and the pair discuss where a li...

Pubs

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jonathan and William discuss a great British institution: the pub. While JVS waxes lyrical about his love for a good boozer, William remains sceptical...

To Blur Or Not To Blur?

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan prepare for the arrival of Jonathan's puppy, with some crucial safety advice. Plus, discussion on h...

Punishment

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's possibly Jonathan and William's least luxurious and most controversial episode yet, as the two dive into the thorny subject of punishments. The t...

Limp Breadsticks and Stolen Cold Cuts

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan delve into what makes a hobby luxurious, and get an update on a hobby that's distinctly unglamorous...

Air Travel

09 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan discuss the miracle of flight and all its glamourous - and unglamorous - features. From settling on which...

Lottery Wins and Holiday Advice

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's a multicultural bonus episode this week, with William and Jonathan practicing their German and advising a luxury listener on where to spend their...

Film and Television

02 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan return to the world of television - and the silver screen too. They discuss favourite classic titles, as ...

Dead Birds and Digeridoos

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week's bonus episode takes place in the Vernon-Smith residence, sparking a heated discussion between Jonathan and William about town versus count...

Arguments

25 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jonathan explore how to enter an argument in a becoming and sophisticated fashion. They revisit old spats, including with a flatmate, a ba...

Sauna Celeb Spotting and Ball Management

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan kick things off with a discussion on the pros and cons of naturism, before William regales Jonathan...

Holidays

18 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

 In this week's episode, William and Jonathan discuss holidays. The two trade tips on the most luxury locations, and give listeners advice on eve...

Book Readings and Canine Proceedings

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's bonus episode, Jonathan brings exciting news about a new addition to the Vernon-Smith home - and it's not only his copy of William's bo...