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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm your host, John Good. Experts say that we all have several dreams over the course of a night's sleep. Dreams that we may or may not remember, but what about the dreams that keep us up at night? The ones we create while awake.
Dreams of hitting the game-winning shot, of landing that job you've wanted since you were 10, or of getting that DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour and going back to the future. dreams realistic, far-fetched, and beyond our wildest imagination.
As we approach the 250th anniversary of a nation built on the dream of a better life, on the promise of taking the tired and dispossessed, yearning to be free, and showing them the path to a golden door, let's hear some stories about the dreams and the dreamers that make America what it is. First up is a story from a Grand Slam in Birmingham.
where we partner with public radio station WBHM in Alabama. Here's Alexis Barton, live at the mall.
They say you never forget your first time. Now, I'm not talking about that type of first time, but that's how I remember entering my very first beauty pageant. No, scholarship pageant. Now, understand, I had never run for anything competitively in my life before. The only thing I'd won was the fourth grade spelling bee. And among my classmates, I was kind of used to coming in second place.
And I was nobody's performer. I threw up before every piano recital I ever had for ten years. Straight. But I wanted to know what it felt like to win. And to be honest, I wanted that crown, not just any crown, the Miss Alabama crown. Now, to understand how truly delusional that was, remember what I said about throwing up before piano recitals? But a friend who supported my delusions
suggested that before I enter the Miss Alabama pageant system, that I do a pageant for practice. And fortunately, there was a local pageant right around the corner. We'll call it the Miss Jefferson County Legacy Jamboree Pageant. Some of you know what I'm talking about. I dashed off my application, mailed it in, and they called. We'd love to talk to you.
And so I ran down to the Five Point South Library and had a little interview with the pageant committee, and they accepted me. That was a piece of cake, I thought. She win. Till I got down to the local dance studio for the first of many pageant practices coordinated by a local choreographer. And I sized up my competition, and I realized, Lex, you in danger, girl. Because they were prepared.
They were talented, these other young ladies. They were leggy. They were confident. One of them had performed on a cruise ship as a singer. And here I was, a tall, awkward, ugly duckling, Looks, eight on a good day. Dance, negative three. But if anything, I'm not a quitter, so I needed a graceful exit, right?
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Chapter 2: What does Alexis Barton learn from her first beauty pageant experience?
And as I took my roses and stepped back into the shadows so the queen could be crowned, I didn't stop smiling. Even though, you know, I did have Vaseline on my teeth, but really, it was because I knew that, in the words of James Baldwin, my crown had already been bought and paid for. I just had to put it on.
And there was a silver lining, because I was named Miss Photogenic, which came with a year's worth of free hairstyling. So technically, I did get a new crown twice a month for a whole year. And I consider that a big win, because I was a broke college student.
And now, when I'm on stages like that, well, like this one, and I want to run and throw up offstage, I look around and I remember that everybody else is nervous, too. And that this is just practice. And we're all practicing. Thank you.
That was Alexis Barton. Alexis is an award-winning journalist and writer based in Birmingham, Alabama. She is the Moth Birmingham's first StorySlam winner, and I know this because I was blessed to be hosting that night. Alexis's work has appeared in the Washington Post magazine, Southern Living, and was cited in the Best American Essays 2023.
Early in her story, Alexis said that her dream of being Miss Alabama was delusional. But I think it was the great philosopher and prophet, Seale, that once said, no, we're never going to survive unless we get a little crazy. And we're definitely not going to get our hair done for free twice a month for a year without chasing our dreams. That is for sure. That is for sure, my friends.
In a moment, a city girl learns how to farm and a daughter must become a fierce advocate for her parents. When the Moth Radio Hour continues.
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
Hey, I'm Anderson Cooper. Grief can feel so lonely, but talking about it and listening to others share their experiences helps. It's probably the only thing that's really helped me. On my podcast, All There Is, we explore grief and loss in all its complexities.
You'll hear deeply moving and honest discussions with people who have faced and are living with life altering losses, talking grief, building community. That's what the podcast is all about. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts.
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Chapter 3: What lessons does Alexis Barton take away from her pageant journey?
We get in the kitchen together. She starts remembering some things, how you've got to gently take your cake layer out of the cake pan, how you got to poke holes in that middle layer so your pineapple sauce will soak through just right. She teaches me how to make an egg white frosting. And we make a really delicious and really ugly cake. The ugly part was a me thing, not a her.
I don't know how to frost a cake. Which is why when my grandma turned 85, all of us have to gather together. Her kids, her grandkids, her great-grandkids, we all gather together in a big old beach house, and now I'm the one in the family who cooks all the food that she taught me how to make. So I slide up to her and I say, Grandma, what kind of cake you want?
And she said, now baby, you know I want a chocolate cake. I want yellow cake with chocolate frosting. And I said, you gonna get that cake and that cake is gonna be super moist. I get in the kitchen, I've cooked all my things. The cake is my last thing to make. And as I'm stirring up this box mix, I'm just thinking, I'm one of the older grandchildren.
Maybe she started this cake mix thing for the younger kids. Not for me. I bake that cake and take a little corner off to taste it, and yes, tastes exactly like my childhood. And she tells me an older woman in the church told her, use the cake mix, but make your frosting from scratch. That's how you'll fool them. And she did. The whole family did.
So after this meal, after we feast, we sit around soaking her in, asking her all the questions we can think to ask, So I say, grandma, who was the deal with the shoebox and the fried chicken and the cake? Why'd you do that? She said, oh, I did that because it's what my parents did for me during segregation.
In case we took a trip somewhere and there wasn't a safe place to stop, we made food to keep our family safe. She said, I did it for my children during Jim Crow. In case we took a trip and there wasn't a safe place to stop, I made that food to keep our family safe. She said, I did it for you grandchildren because I want you to get home safe too.
And then I thought, there's my grandma making magic again, taking injustice, taking a painful history and pouring love in all the places she could get it. Which is why when it's time for my cousins to leave, when they say they got to leave early, they got to head back to work. I mean, I got to keep the tradition going. I got to take that cake, slice it, wrap it in wax paper, tape it closed.
I gotta hope that cake and wax paper can somehow be a prayer that my cousins will get home safe too. And all these years later, I still got my KitchenAid mixer. I'm still married to that man. We've been married for 14 years. My grandma's 93 years old and she is still telling us what to do.
And I'm always gonna be grateful for my grandma, for the magic of her kitchen, and of course, for a small batch, rare to find, little known cake mix called Betty Crocker's Super Moist. Thank you.
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