Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to The Moth. I'm Emily Couch. And those absolutely adorable sounds you're hearing right now are from my cat, Potato. Say hi, Potato. As you might be able to guess, I am a cat person. I was born into a family of four cats and two human parents. I'll let you guess who was more important. I had no choice but to be a cat person.
But that said, I have just continued to fall more and more in love with these fluffy little weirdos throughout my life. But even if you're not as enthusiastic about cats as I am, you have to admit they're interesting creatures. I mean, there's a reason cat videos dominate the internet. So to celebrate both cats and cat people, we've got two stories all about cats. I know Potato is excited.
Or maybe she's just hungry. First up is David Rodriguez, who told this at a Berkeley Story Slam where the theme was Love Hurts. Here's David live at the moth.
For a man, a miscarriage is a particular kind of pain. And if anyone is thinking, like, for a man, really? Well, that's kind of the point, because even as I'm going through one of the most painful experiences of my life, I'm very aware that my wife is going through more pain, physical pain, the same loss that I'm feeling. And also just society and gender things.
I don't really understand, but I know how real they are. And the ticking clock. It doesn't help they call it a geriatric pregnancy either. I don't know. The medical field needs like a marketing person or something. And she didn't want to talk about it. And that might serve a lot of men very well, but I'm a Berkeley beta male. I talk about it. That's how I go. This isn't Iowa where she grew up.
And she's a stoic person. She just conquers life. And she didn't want to talk about it. So I couldn't talk about it because I didn't want her to see me cry or anything like that. And then you go into this post-miscarriage purgatory period where you can't plan anything. You don't know what's going to happen. You don't know if it's forever, what it means, and the doctors.
Kind of doesn't give you good information. It's all mystery. It's like no science. It's all painful. And, you know, we just kind of went back to our life and kind of pretended that being able to drink champagne again was this awesome thing when it really wasn't. And one day I was laying in bed and I was thinking about my childhood and I said to her, I'd really like to get a fish tank.
And she turned to me and said, that is a terrible idea. You're not going to clean it. You don't know anything about fish. And she got up, and she stormed off and slammed the bathroom door behind her. And you're probably making the connection that there was a larger thing going on here. But at the time, I was just pissed off that she didn't like my awesome fish tank idea.
And I didn't put it together. And then she came back, and she looked at me, and she said, I want a cat. And we had had that conversation before. I'm allergic to cats. There's nothing to talk about. This is one argument I should win.
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Chapter 2: What personal experiences shape David Rodriguez's relationship with cats?
And she said, are you really allergic to cats? Is that the truth? I was like, I think it is, yeah. And I just couldn't say no. But I had a plan. Okay, we'll go to Cat Town. I'll play along. She'll see me have this terrible allergic reaction. She'll know that we can't do this. And then maybe we'll have... that other conversation we're not having and maybe I'll get a fish tank.
Instead, we left Cat Town with two cats. And at Cat Town, they kind of counsel you like you're a criminal. They're like, don't, you know, like, are you ready for this? These are feral cats that we recondition and they're not going to love you and are you ready to not be loved? And I saw she was not hearing any of this. She's like, those are those people they don't love. They're going to love us.
But when we brought them home, one of them kind of was comfortable. The other one hid, and you would just hear a hiss as you were walking around the house. You didn't know where it was coming from. And my wife, Ruth, she just took it on. I would come home, and there'd be piles of boxes of toys and cat trees. And I'd be like, we already have a cat tree. She's like, we have one.
But mostly I would come home, and I would go into the bedroom, not even realizing she came home from work, didn't come say hi to me, and she would be half under the bed, because that's where Hemlock hid, and she would spend hours, inch by inch, building trust with this animal, until one night, Hemlock jumped into the bed and snuggled with her, and she put her forehead against hers, and I'd never heard her do a voice before.
It was very jarring. She went, hey, baby, hey, baby. And then we fell asleep, and I woke up to Hemlock ripping my feet to shreds. And this every day, every night, no sleep. And when you're half awake, it is actually terrifying. But I couldn't bring myself to say, let's not have Hemlock sleep in the bedroom because of this larger thing we weren't talking about.
And I guess that's chivalry, I guess. I don't know, letting Hemlock shred my feet. And then one day at work, I was in a meeting with my manager, and he had actually had a baby recently. And he had actually named her what we were going to name our child. He didn't know that. And he was distracted the whole time because she was doing adorable things.
And after the meeting, I went to my bedroom and I just sobbed uncontrollably and was confronting that I don't know if I was ever really honest myself about how badly I wanted this. And I laid in bed and I just sobbed deeper and harder and louder than I ever had. And Hemlock jumped on the bed, I hid my feet out of instinct, and he laid on my chest and just started rubbing his face against mine.
And so now I was crying tears of joy and sadness at the same time and petting Hemlock and then also reaching my phone for one hand to take a video because I know the rules and I wanted to show the people at Cat Town that they were wrong about us. Because they would send us like these shaming pictures of Hemlock in the laps of the volunteers. Be like, oh, it worked for us.
Anyway, I recently read some research that... Oh, my allergy. It just went away. I don't know how she does it. She's right about everything. She wins every argument. She still thinks I was lying. And I was questioning, how did she win that argument? And why did I ever have an allergy? Who won the election? What is truth? You know, like, what's going on?
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Chapter 3: How does David cope with loss and find healing through adopting a cat?
If you'd like to see some photos of those cats, we'll have them on our website at themoth.org slash extras. They're really cute. I named my cat Potato because, like an actual potato, she is round, typically sedentary, and therefore perfect for me. I enjoy knitting, reading, and being in a reclining position. I am an indoor person.
When I moved to an apartment with a balcony, however, I was excited to offer Potato a semi-enclosed outdoor space. She was initially nervous, but quickly became obsessed with being outside. As soon as she heard the knob turn, she'd shoot like a rocket out the door, immediately flopping down and rolling around in the dirt. As any cat owner knows, what the cat wants, the cat gets.
To make sure she was safe, I'd supervise her. So that meant that I too had to be outside. All the time. I mean, I did not fully anticipate the level of commitment this cat would have to the outdoors. I'd sit with her in 90 degree heat, dripping sweat, or bundled in sweatshirts in November, sometimes for hours on end. And I started loving it.
Sure, it takes a little more effort than a lazy day on the couch, but it's so worth it. Making her happy makes me happy. And I also started to fully appreciate the joys of basking in the sun, being surrounded by greenery, and feeling the breeze. So now Potato and I lay around together, both inside and outside.
To see a photo of Potato enjoying the sunshine, you can visit our Instagram or Facebook. And I'm not the only one who loves cats here at the Moth, so we'll have even more cat pics from everyone here. Up next, another cat story from another very reluctant cat dad. Back in a moment. Welcome back.
Our next story is from Gianmarco Ceresi, who told this in a New York story slam where the theme was outnumbered. Here's Gianmarco live with more.
Here. Hello. Thank you very much. So the way I tell this story really depends on one quick thing. Could I get a round of applause if you're more of a cat person? Okay. All right, could I get a round of applause if you're more of a dog person?
Okay.
If you're more of a bird person, sorry, no vote tonight, but great. So I feel kind of safe to say I hate cats. I hate them. And it's not their fault. It's not their fault per se. It's just that my first memory, and I've done a lot of therapy, but my first memory in this world is when I was three years old and my mom and I were moving into her new boyfriend's house and he had a cat named Smokey.
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