The Moth Podcast: Apples and Bananas
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What is the theme of this episode?
Welcome to The Moth. I'm Kate Tellers. On this episode, we're going bananas. And apples. Sorry, going apples isn't a phrase. The intro got away from me for a second. But we will have two stories about fruit. One about apples, one about bananas. First up, a very appealing story. Sorry. David Harris Gershon told this at a Pittsburgh Story Slam where the theme was duped. Here's David live at The Moth.
so i had never worn a life-size banana suit until the passover of 1997. now a bit of context that spring has happens every spring in athens georgia as an undergraduate there is something called the twilight criterion which is a professional cycling race for cyclists burgeoning lance armstrongs of the world who on their way to atlanta for a much bigger cycling race come to athens where Around 10 or 11 o'clock at night, they close downtown and race 400 laps. Now, it is a drunken festive affair in Athens, Georgia. It's one of the larger on the calendar. And invariably, somebody gets drunk and stumbles vomiting into the raceway and causes multi-bike pileups, which means it is absolutely not to be missed.
Unless, of course, you've promised your mother that that evening you would be celebrating Passover. Because as I soon learned, if you don't, you will be found, and you will be punished. Now, I was not going to Hillel, the Jewish student center at the University of Georgia that evening, eating matzah and listening to the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt over and over and over again. Instead, I was with my friends. We were eating burritos and drinking Bud Light, doing things that you should not be doing on Passover. And I wasn't thinking about my mother, but it was at that moment we were preparing for the race when my boss called, John from Ultimate Smoothies, a smoothie bar, which I embarrassingly admit that I worked at, pushing smoothies to pay for my way through college.
So John calls and he says, David, you've got to come open up the shop for me.
What unique experience did David Harris-Gershon share?
And I'm like, John, wait, it's 8.30 at night. What are you doing? You can't call me into work now. And he's like, David, just listen. I'm late. I need to come to the store, but I can't get there. I need you to open it up. We're going to make a killing. It's busy, which was probably true. And he said, just open the store. And he He said it really strange, and I thought it was strange, but he's strange. So I said, fine, just promise me that when you get there, I can leave and go to the race. And he said, I promise. Open the store, and you can leave. So I was like, fine. I'm poor. I need a job. I go. So I get there, and downtown Athens is bustling. It's happening. It's what you would expect. And I get to the store, and the lights are curiously on.
So instead of using the key, I push through. And who's behind the bar? John. And I'm like, John, what are you? And the first thing that he says is, David, go get the banana suit. I'm like, wait, okay. First of all, A, what banana suit? And what the fuck? You told me to come open up the bar and you're here. And he's like, David, this will be opening the bar. And I'm like... As if I was supposed to know you were speaking metaphorically on the phone, but whatever, I'm poor and I need a job, so I go up to his office, and sure enough, there is a life-size banana suit up there. So I grab this thing, not feeling very happy about what's going to happen next, and I come down, and he says, all right, David, just put this thing on.
I'm like, what the fuck? Are you serious? Yes, David, put the banana suit on. I'm going to give you some smoothies. You're going to go to the grandstand. The race announcers are going to make a killing. You're going to do great. I'm like, fuck. So I put this thing on. It is as ridiculous as you would imagine a life-size banana would be. Arms, legs out the banana, mesh face. He puts trays of smoothies and he kicks me out of the shop. So I'm walking into the streets of Athens. Coeds are giggling. People are parting as you would part if you see a banana holding smoothies. And I hobble and make my way to the raceway up to the grandstand.
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