Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Oh, there you are. I wasn't sure you were going to make it. Hell, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. This isn't an easy place to get to. Hey, mind your footing there. The old shed's seen better days. And the water damage is something fierce in here. Oh, what's that? Oh, this. Yeah, yeah, I'm wearing a wire. No, don't worry. Nothing to do with the cops.
I'm recording myself while I show you around. It's an old busted-up microphone, though. I don't even think it's picking up your voice, so don't worry. You've got nothing to fear. Well, except what you'll experience in there. No, no, but seriously, I'm recording it because, well, who knows? Maybe I'll make this into a podcast episode someday, in tribute to my grandfather.
You know, he's the reason this place exists. No, no, I'm serious. David Cummings was my granddad. He was the podfather, as some called him. I'm told by some people that I sound a lot like him. Anyway, you didn't come here for my family history. You came here to explore the remains of the No Sleep Podcast Museum.
So, I know it doesn't look that great now, but it was quite a sight to see back when it opened. It was built to celebrate the podcast's 15th anniversary. To celebrate all those years of audio horror storytelling. But, as you can see, they made one rather serious mistake when choosing the location. It seems that around the time of their 15th, they were talking about the horrors of water.
And since my granddad had shortly before relocated to this area on the banks of the Cape Fear River, they chose this spot to build the museum. Yep, yeah, I can't argue with you there.
Building a museum on the banks of a river that ebbs and flows with the tide, in an area prone to hurricanes, on a spot that sailors literally named as a place for the dangers and fears of where the river meets the sea, yeah, not a good spot for anything permanent. Oh well, they say Grandad wasn't the brightest bulb in the henhouse, or something like that.
So, the ruins you're now entering are all that the river has left of this place. Cape Fear, indeed. So, come on in. Like I said, mind your footing. You were smart to wear boots. Lots of standing water around, and the walls aren't too stable. Oh, I almost forgot. You know, when the museum was operating, guests heard a special version of the theme song when they walked in.
Written by the maestro himself, Brandon Boone. Now the speakers in here no longer work, so I'll play it on my Bluetooth speaker here so you can hear it while we walk into the main gallery. Here we are in what was called the art gallery. Now you can still see some of the artwork on the walls. Illustrations done by all those very talented artists for each episode of the podcast.
See that portrait on the main wall? That's my grandfather. Handsome son of a buck, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah, you're right. A face to inspire fear. That's fair. Anyway, so when the place was open, fans could walk through the museum and see the art while listening to various stories from the podcast. But, like I said, the place hasn't had power in years, so you can't listen directly.
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Chapter 2: How does the narrator connect with their family history?
Now, listen to this. it's the no sleep podcast we're here in the darkness of the night on the no sleep podcast your ears will hear our tales of fright we have monsters and demons and killers just waiting for you So brace yourself now before all of the nightmares come true. On the No Sleep Podcast, there's something hiding under your bed.
On the No Sleep Podcast, your heart will shiver full of dread. On the No Sleep Podcast. Oh, on the No Sleep. Yeah, they say that song was going to be granddad's stairway to stardom. And years later, he was finally able to create the podcast. So the universe must have been listening. What's that you say? Oh, you came here for horror stories and not to hear some old guy singing?
Okay, friend, no need to be brusque. You hired me to break into the museum and give you access to some of the most obscure audio they've ever created. I'm just doing my job. And speaking of doing my job, I was able to find five stories they produced that never made it onto the show.
probably had something to do with the show ending soon after the AI-agentic robots took over every podcast and made them into shows that dealt exclusively with the topic of true sex crimes. Talk about bracing yourself. So, like I said, I'm just doing my job, and these stories are all about people doing their jobs in difficult circumstances. This ain't easy for me.
I know producing the podcast back in the day wasn't easy for Grandad or the team who worked with him, so I know you'll appreciate the fruits of their labor. So, what do you say we get laborious and kick into the first story I have for you? Gather around the speaker here and turn those phones off. I don't need anyone trying to pirate these stories, you hear?
Okay, prick up your ears for the first tale. Ironically enough, it's about a podcast. A true crime podcast, of all things. Weird, huh? Now, this story is fictional, but the two women performing it actually had their own podcast called Story Sirens, featuring Sarah Thomas and Yenny Ann. The show was still thriving in 2026, so you can hear their shows from the archives. Check them out if you can.
Story Sirens. So anyways, like I said, Sarah Thomas and special guest Yenny Ann are joined by Peter Lewis and Aaron Lillis as they share the tale that was written by Chris Hicks. And when their podcast is suddenly interrupted with a special message, well, you'd better pay attention. So let's check this out. And please, whatever you do, listen closely.
Welcome back, crime crumpets. This is Bree. And Janelle. And we're back with a double scoop of death, dismemberment, and a delicious new pastry to devour. So don't go anywhere because it's time for another episode of Cupcakes and Crime Scenes. On today's episode, we will be exploring the grisly, unsolved murders of Dirk Langmore and his wife, Trudy.
This story takes place in Sydney, Ohio, back in 1987. Before we get started, here's a quick content warning for our squeamish listeners. This one's gonna get messy. Ha ha ha! With a murder as messy as this one, it's only fitting that we pair it with a pastry with an equally messy reputation. In fact, if you translate this pastry's name from Italian to English, it means dirty mouth.
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Chapter 3: What significant mistake was made in building the NoSleep Podcast Museum?
As we discuss the murder and dismemberment of Dirk and Trudy Langmore, Janelle and I will be enjoying Sporkamoose. That's fun to say. Sporkamoose. Wait, what's the plural? I think it's Sporkamoose, right? It's the same name for both singular and plural. Twenty moose eat twenty Sporkamoose. Is that right? Yes. Doubt, but okay.
As I was saying, the Sporkamoose is a square puff pastry filled with a rich, creamy custard. And the whole thing is dusted with powdered sugar. Challenge accepted. Bring it on. Before we dig in, this week's episode has been brought to you.
Are you hearing me? Please focus on my voice.
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Over here? They can hear me? Okay, good. Hello, my name is Colonel Jacob Wayne of the United States Air Force. If you are hearing me right now, it is extremely important that you continue listening until I finish.
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We have you again. Now, this is very important. You need to focus on the sound of my voice. It will be crucial that you pay close attention and follow all of the instructions I'm about to give you. Please try to stay calm. Any increase in your stress levels will draw their attention. Think back over your last few days. I bet nothing felt out of the ordinary, did it?
You went about your regular daily activities with nothing unusual to report. Might even have been boring. It might come as a shock, but nothing you have experienced these past few days has been real. It's fake. A simulation. They have you. But don't worry. We are here to get you out. We found a way in to communicate by hiding our signal in your daily media consumption.
You might be listening to music, a podcast, an audio book. Hell, you might even be on a conference call at work. We don't fully understand their technology, so we can't rightly say how you're receiving this, only that you are receiving it. As you listen to my voice, we are uploading a code into your brain. Think of it as a computer virus, or in this case, an antivirus.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the old audio files mentioned?
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Cut your wireless bills to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash nosleep. That's it. There's no catch. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Now let's plunge back into the deep waters of horror.
Ah, you see, the No Sleep Podcast would have done so much better if it offered up cupcakes and pastries to its listeners. Ah, well, like I said, Grandad wasn't that smart. Now, let's walk over to this room. Oh yeah, don't mind that alligator in the corner. He's mostly harmless. We call him Josh. He hangs out here after he's eaten, so he's not going to bother you with a full belly.
Now, here you'll see the call center the show once used. Believe it or not, for a brief time back around 2014, the show offered a toll-free customer support line where listeners could call and leave comments. It shut down soon thereafter because there were too many calls demanding my granddad, and I quote, shut up and play the stories.
No one wants to be on the phone all day listening to those complaints. And a person named Garrett Atkinson agrees, because they penned this tale about a customer service rep who's trying to stave off boredom at his desk. They had the cast of Atticus Jackson, Dan Zapula, Rima Chata-Meisenich, Jeff Clement, Nicole Goodnight, and Grandad himself to perform this one.
So, learn the lesson here and try not to go too far down the rabbit hole, so to speak. Especially if you don't want to be put on hold. I told the last dipshit I don't want the extra bundle. I've been through three of you people and no one will just give me the standard plan I asked for. With the 100 megabits per second? Well, I'm not a goddamn Neanderthal.
Sir, that speed comes with the 50 plus bundle. That's bullshit. That's $50 more than the standard. Right. And it's 50 megabits more. I want to speak to your supervisor. 8 to 5, 5 days a week. For 50 a year, so I can get yelled at by 30 strangers a day about money gouging policies I didn't make. By the time I get home, I have maybe an hour to myself that's not spent eating or sleeping.
Some days, I think about tearing this place apart. Scorched earth style. and trying something new. Maybe woodturning. Most days though, I just zone out and draw stick figures in Microsoft Paint.
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Chapter 5: What happens when the character hears a mysterious noise?
This time I do shine my phone's light into the room, though I don't go as far as to step in. A small couch is wedged between two stacks of grey lockers. The fridge in the corner is humming. It smells like Beatrice's perfume, but there are no people here. I turn back and forth, glancing down either hallway. A big square. Either way we'll end up in the same place.
Still, I can't choose which to take. Both seem dimmer than they did at the start of my shift, as if the fluorescent lights were one by one surrendering to the nighttime. Or, more likely, it was from whatever electrical glitch was affecting all these rooms.
Chapter 6: How does the character react to finding Richie?
It's an old hospital. Outages probably happen all the time. Hey! What in the hell? A screeching, high-pitched whine of a feedback loop bleats from the speaker. Before my hands make it back to my ears, it cuts out. Fuck this. I'm going to call the sheriff. Force them to help me find Molly and Beatrice. Force them to take some ownership over Richie.
Chapter 7: What does the character discover in the hallway?
I don't care how late it is, or how stupid I look, or how they'll ridicule me for being an out-of-towner too easily spooked. I pull out my cell, but it won't turn on. I tap it against my hand, slap it against my thigh. The squeak of a linen cart jerks my eyes back down the hallway I'd just come from. There's a small body standing at the far end, draped in shadow. Hello? Richie?
Richie, is that you? Even from here, I see his head tilt to the side, falling and bobbing at the end of a slack neck. There's a shoe in his hand, with a little bow. The air smells like smoke and ozone. Richie, go back to your room right now. I try to muster authority, but only find frailty. I need you to go back. Back to your room now.
He takes one step forward, his foot slapping hard against the tile with a thwap. He holds out his arm. One impossibly long finger points directly at me. Richie! I try to say, but my throat is tree bark and no sound comes out. Get in the car, Richard. His voice is crisp and echo-less, as much inside my head as out. Richie, please! The air is viscous. The smell of smoke is growing.
My eyes burn fast. The light above Richie snaps out. His silhouette disappears. Richie screams. It's broken glass against my ears.
Chapter 8: What is the significance of the final scene with the character and Jamie?
Get in the car, Dr. Richard, now!
Run. The word heaves in my mind, and this time I listen. I sprint down the hallway, the dark at my back. The pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat of small staccato footsteps follows behind me. My sneakers thud and squeak. Ahead is an exit sign. A side door. I skid to a stop, grabbing the handle. It burns my palm and I jerk away. Heat radiates from the door.
Pitch black smoke is bleeding through the bottom of the door. I sputter on the acrid air. It's getting louder. This exit won't work. I don't look back. I just run. My feet hammer the ground and my legs burn. I round the corner, sliding into a metal tray full of instruments which clatters to the ground in a symphony of clangs. Blood pounds in my ears.
There's a second emergency exit past my call room. I just have to make it there. He'll hear the alarm. It doesn't matter. Get in! The screech is impossibly loud, like feedback in the speaker, like a record scratching. I turn one more corner, and the green glowing letters of the emergency exit sign are visible. I'm there in three strides, moving fast. I crash into the metal door at a full sprint.
Pain sears through my arm. The alarm bell starts ringing, but the door doesn't open. No, no, no, no, no, no! I can't lift my right arm. I try, and it's only pain. I bring my leg up and kick the door. I kick it again. The metal groans, but only budges an inch. The footsteps are so close. Every slap against the floor as if it were directly underneath me. I kick again.
Metal grinds and the door moves another half inch. I kick again. Something cracks in my knee and new pain shoots through my leg. The alarm is still ringing, blaring, giving me away. I scream and kick with everything I have. Rusted hinges grind and creak and snap, but the door swings open. Blinding white light pours in from where there should only be the cold darkness of night.
I squint against it. Nothing is visible. It smells like burnt hair. A tiny hand presses into my back. It's so cold it burns. Get in the car. Everything goes black.
The horror keeps flowing after a word from the folks who make all this free content possible. Did you know I was 45 years old when I started this podcast? And if I've been doing this for 15 years, that means I'm now, well, I'm now looking for ways to look after my body and get it working its best for me. That's why I use Mars Men.
I'm into my fourth month taking Mars Men because I'm seeing results with it. I'm trying to lose fat and build muscle. And at my age, I'm looking for help that's natural and effective. And while I've relied a lot on cardio like cycling for my fitness routine, I've been adding strength training as well. This is the area I know Marsmen will really help me with.
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