The Quibbler: A Harry Potter Book Club

Ep. 102—Hagrid: Into the Spiderverse

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of important things happen in this chapter, but also, Minerva McGonagall leads a flock of Hogwarts desk into battle. Awesome. This week, The Gol...

Ep. 101—No Time to Diadem

08 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fred Weasley was dead, to begin with. Sorry, we just had to remind you exactly what you’re getting into with this episode. But don’t worry! There’...

Ep. 100—Wizardry, Equality, Fraternity

06 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Five years, 100 episodes, every single conceivable permutation of the f-word, and a 45-minute summary of a pretty throwaway chapter. Welcome back, wit...

Ep. 99—Hog's Head Revisited

06 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Can we get away with not acknowledging that this is our first episode since February? No, huh? Don’t worry, there’s an explanation at the beginnin...

Ep. 98—Dumbles Dore (like Attorneys General)

09 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Pretty annoying to meet the best character in the final act of the final book, but that's the hand we're dealt with G.O.A.T. Aberforth Dumbledore. Thi...

Advent Calendar Final Night—A Visit from an Obscure Greek Saint

25 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

And to all a good night! This is just us reading aloud to you and cracking wise. Plus an alarming amount of doctrinal history. Because you know you've...

Advent Calendar Week 3—Midnight Sleigh to Candy Town

24 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ever wonder what it sounds like when someone who has basically never danced "summarizes" a ballet? Wonder no more, because this week we watched the Ne...

Advent Calendar Week 2—Yosemite Clementine

19 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This one's a bit delayed, as it was something of an emotional gauntlet to edit (you'll hear why in the latter half. Be warned.) We watched the stop-mo...

Advent Calendar Week 1—How the Grinch Stole Everything

05 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Spend this very strange holiday season with us, quibbling about the Christmas classics that make us merry and/or cause us to cringe. First up, the ult...

Ep. 97—There's Some Horcruxes in This House

03 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This is an 80 minute episode about a 17 minute chapter. The summary is twice the length of the chapter itself. You. Are. Welcome! This week: Heather t...

Ep. 96—Pavlov's Dragon

24 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

A truly vintage episode in which we actually just quibble for an hour. For example: Do wizards think banks and mines are the same thing? Has Ron seen ...

The Nibbler 5—Live Free or Twi-hard

31 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It's the spookiest Halloween in a long, long, long time, so we're rewarding (?) you all with a long, long, LONG final episode of The Nibbler. Seriousl...

Ep. 95—Gender Revelio!

27 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The One Where We Alienate Most of our Remaining Listeners Who Still Like Harry Potter. Kidding-ish, but this is the first one recorded post-Rowling sc...

Movie Mini 7—Creature Feature Creep

23 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We very irrationally still call these "minis," but at any rate, let's ease back into the Potterverse by discussing the surprisingly fun—considering ...

Ep. 94—Large Elder Wand Collider

05 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

OK, so we're (still) doing this. We recorded before a lot of real-world shit went down, which is just the way of things these days, but we still manag...

Summary Supercut: Sorcerer's Stone

10 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

As promised, and because you gorgeous people raised THOUSANDS of dollars in the last 2 weeks for bail funds, criminal justice reform, affordable legal...

Ep. 93—Fenrir Payback

12 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In which we finally and totally dispense with the notion that these are chapter "summaries." So much Manor action, so little time! This week, Fenrir s...

Quibbler After Hours: Mr. Lupin's Opus

06 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! Let's talk teachers. Why are the best lessons in the entire series taught by a supervillain? Why does Hagrid get to j...

Ep. 92—Pod Save the Wizarding World

16 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is a lot of us patting ourselves on the back about how good podcasts are. Not ours, necessarily; mostly Lee Jordan's. We would for sure l...

Ep. 91—Hallows Be Thy Name

20 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Podcasting in the time of pestilence … hope you're all hanging in there and prepared to use some of your potentially ample alone time to TALK ABOUT ...

Ep. 90—Chekhov's Erumpent Horn

03 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

If a crumple-horn snorcack appears in the first act … well, you know the drill. This week, Potter Productivity becomes a thing; so does #Rontent; He...

Ep. 89—Deer Is Headlights

07 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ron is back! Hurray, we guess? Nah, it's good to have him around for rage fodder if nothing else. This week: Harry has learned nothing from Snake Corp...

Ep. 88—The Monster Book of Twitter Monsters

17 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Skip to 37:00 if you don't want to listen to us talk about being social justice warriors. Seriously, don't say we didn't warn you. This week, the twee...

Muppet Mini: Marley & Marley & Cratchit & Scrooge & Rizzo

25 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We barely scratched the surface of this shining paragon of filmmaking (The Muppet Christmas Carol), but here's a little holiday treat that has little ...

Ep. 87—Weekend at Bathilda's

16 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In a book full of horrors, we have come to the most horrifying of them all: Snake Corpse. Like Cat Wife, but well, the {Jean Ralphio voice} wooooorst....

Ep. 86—Dean and Ted's Excellent Adventure

18 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We have reached the nadir of Ron Weasley, and Heather is, naturally, in fine form. This week, Harry learns to fish; Hermione reads The Feminine Mystiq...

The Nibbler 4—What to Expect When You're Expecting an Abomination

01 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Halloween, and there’s truly nothing more chilling than the depths of Bella Swan’s myopic self-involvement. Except maybe whatever it is tha...

Ep. 85—I Spy with My Little Mad-Eye

27 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Stunning spell first, figure out the plan later—that is Harry’s eternal M.O., and it serves him not-so-well in this hairbrained sprint through the...

Ep. 84—Dark Marks and Misdemeanors

11 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It turns out silent coups and rampant anti-muggle born bigotry are not that funny! Sorry about that. This week, the return of French onion soup; a lot...

Ep. 83—Kreacher in the Underworld (Reprise)

30 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Things fall apart, fast and unsurprisingly, at the Weasley/Delacour wedding. But hey, at least Hermione’s prepared (of course she is). This week, th...

Ep. 82— 'Til Death Eaters Do Us Part

13 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Mawwiage is what bwings us togevver today. That, and extremely strange and seemingly useless gifts from beyond the grave. This week, we say goodbye to...

Ep. 81—Dora the Ex-Auror

31 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Mad Eye, we hardly knew ye. Literally, we had almost no scenes with actual Mad Eye, and now he’s, well … you know. This week, Geoge is hard of hea...

Ep. 80—Owl Follow You Into the Dark

10 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This one doesn’t end great for a beloved bird. It’s pretty rough for your hosts, too. This week, Dudley gets a conscience; Vernon gets the wrong i...

Ep. 79—The Snark Lord Ascending

01 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Wow, look at that, we made it all the way to Deathly Hallows! Bear with us as we ease back into the wizarding world—“dinner, Nagini,” is after a...

Movie Mini 6—Harry Potter and the Infinity Stone

25 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ever wish this podcast was partly about the Marvel Cinematic Universe and a tiny bit about Game of Thrones? You’re medium in luck! Mostly though, we...

The Nibbler 3—How Bella Got Her Groove Back

02 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

April Fool’s Day means just one thing in these parts. It’s another episode of The Nibbler! The third book in the series is chock-a-block full of h...

Ep. 78—No Fawkes Left to Give

28 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Wow, it’s over! Dumbledore gets one last moment of pure theatricality; Fleur knows she’s got it going on; Hagrid mourns like a Greek chorus; Harry...

Ep. 77—The Assassination of Albus Dumbledore by the Coward Severus Snape

09 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I mean … is there much more to say than that? It all goes down in the astronomy tower. Draco misses his chance; death eaters giggle stupidly; Harry ...

Ep. 76—Albus in the Underworld

02 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Cave of wonders? More like cave of horrors! This week, Trelawney hides her empties, Malfoy gets his magical carpentry credentials, and then, you know,...

Quibbler After Hours—Hail to the Chief Warlock

20 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Sort every American president into a Hogwarts house? We thought you’d never ask … oh wait, you super didn’t! Anyway here’s this.

Ep. 75—Too Many McGuffins!

15 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Is it the prophecy, the memory, the horcruxes, or what? It’s all of ‘em! This week, LoVo tears it up, Dumbledore gives an ill-received TED Talk, S...

Ep. 74—Three Wizards and a Funeral

08 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, Harry? This week, Hermione helps with homework; Ron dodges his snog-buddy; polyjuice potion finds a saucy new use;...

Ep. 73—Antiques Horror Show

17 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Do these horcruxes spark joy? This week, Harry takes a bludger to the face; Ron has avoidance issues; Hagrid says some extremely true stuff we have be...

Ep. 72—Just a Teenage Voldy, Baby

11 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This entire episode is about Wilkie Twycross. What, you don’t remember this absolutely essential and indelible Harry Potter character? Are you even ...

Ep. 71—It's-a Me, Sanguini!

05 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Baby, it’s cold outside, but not as cold as it seems to be in Hermione’s heart these days. This week, Harry dodges roofies; Ron gets a necklace; L...

Ep. 70—My Favorite Marvolo

14 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Admit it, you’ve always wanted to hear a deep-cuts comparison of LoVo, née Tom Riddle, to Ted Bundy. Well, you’re in luck! This week, Dumbledore ...

Ep. 69—You're Only the Boy Who Lived Once

21 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

First of all, nice. Second of all: It’s just teen-town over here, folks. This week, a bunch of Hufflepuffs and babies crash Quidditch tryouts; Ron ...

Ep. 68—Salt, Fat, Magic, Heat

10 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Let us now praise famous wizards. This week, Neville opts for a practical education; Snape redecorates and then chews the scenery; Slughorn actually t...

Midterms Managed

06 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Election Day 2018, Quibbler fam! To keep you company while you wait in line to cast your vote (or just for fun if you're not American/not eligib...

The Nibbler 2: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

31 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Spooky! Scary! Happy Halloween, and welcome to a monstrous new episode of The Nibbler, New Moon edition! This week, Bella gets dumped; Jacob has a fev...

Ep. 67—A Scar is Born

26 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We're far from the hallows now … This week, Mr. Weasley is a skeptic; Ginny perfects her signature curse; someone should probably alert magical law ...

Ep. 66—The Dewey-Dumbledore System

19 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Soup's on! This week, Harry gets a mouthful; Fleur gets a nickname; Florian Fortescue gets nabbed; the Weasley twins get rich off the magic-industrial...

Ep. 65—Death-Eater Poets Society

11 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Horace Slughorn would like to add you to his LinkedIn network (but only if you're rich and famous). This week, Dumbledore gives etiquette lessons; The...

Ep. 64—LoVo, Actually

04 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We're back, witches, with a brand new book! This week, the Prime Minister can't get weirdos to stop stumbling out of his fireplace; Fudge is a cockroa...

Movie Mini 5—What Color Is Your Smoke Trail?

25 Jul 2018

Contributed by Lukas

How anyone watches the movies without reading the books and has any idea what's going on, we'll never know. This week, Cousin Kyle joins us again as w...

Ep. 63—Oedipus Hex

07 Jul 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We're done with Order of the Phoenix! Five books down—can you believe it? This week, Dumbledore gives the Sparknotes for the whole series; Harry is ...

Ep. 62—Death Comes from the Arch Mishap

29 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the penultimate Order of the Phoenix episode and, unless you’re an invincible magic bird, this is not going to end well. This week: Alex cons...

Ep. 61—Ghostriders in the Sky

01 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Much like this very book, our episode this week has some abrupt and wild tonal shifts. Alex and Heather hear a bird; Alex and Heather sing showtunes; ...

Ep. 60—Dolores Explains It All

26 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Intrigue! Betrayal! Torture! Finals! This week's chapters have everything. Harry overperforms; we meet the series' first competent bureaucrats; Hagrid...

Ep. 59—The Rural Auror

19 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Order of the Phoenix is really doing the MOST. This week, Harry makes his worst choice; the Marauders take the bare minimum responsibility; the twins ...

Ep. 58—James and the Giant Bummer

11 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We're changing our tune on a few things this week—most notably, indeed, Dumbledore is a huge badass. Dobby once again parachutes in with a dire and ...

Ep. 57—All the Quibbles Fit to Print

05 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Hot off the wizard presses, it's a Quibbler within a Quibbler! This week, Cho should have picked Roger Davies; Rita Skeeter explains the media busines...

Ep. 56—Granger Things

27 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Who knew we'd come out of these chapters wishing we had Phineas Nigellus as a life coach? This week, Harry puts the Grim in Grimmauld; Arthur experime...

Ep. 55—Do Portraits Dream of Acrylic Sheep?

20 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Raise your hand if you've watched someone die, kids! This week, we're back with ghost horses, soggy snogs, the scariest kind of portrait mode, and so ...

The Nibbler: Vampire Weekend

01 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

It started as an April Fools joke and became SO MUCH MORE. This week, we read Twilight and enjoyed it an embarrassing amount. Bella is weirdly obsesse...

Owl Post: Schrodinger's Cat Wife

23 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

You guys sent us some seriously good letters lately, so here we are, reading them back to you! From the wizarding criminal justice system to a righteo...

Ep. 54—There Might Be Giants

16 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Who needs the draught of peace when you can just read a quidditch chapter? Just kidding, this one gets pretty exciting. Draco writes a song; Luna make...

Ep. 53—Warrantless Firetapping

10 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

You must be in the room of requirement, because we have just what you need—another Quibbler episode! This week, Umbridge makes a fun new rule; Trela...

Ep. 52—Nobody Expects the Hogwarts Inquisition

02 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We hate to agree with the truly evil Hogwarts High Inquisitor, but wow, does she have Professor Trelawney pegged. This week, Fudge signs an executive ...

Ep. 51—Umbridge Over Troubled Water

21 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Remember when all Harry had to worry about at Hogwarts was whether Voldemort lived in his teacher's turban? This week, Umbridge makes an impression; R...

Ep. 50—No Wizard Left Behind

16 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

For the love of god, someone teach these children language arts. This week, Ron stuffs his face; Harry loses his temper (again … and again); the twi...

Ep. 49—Unreconstructed Death Eaters

09 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Everything is dire and they're all gonna die. That is the lesson from our chapters this week. Lucius injects some dark money into the ministry; Ron ge...

Quibbler After Hours Superb Owl Edition: Barebacking the Broom

04 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

It's an all-sportsball special episode of The Quibbler! This week, joined once again by Kyle Price-Livingston, we moan and groan about the rules of qu...

Ep. 48—The Ministry of Utmost Sloppiness

01 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Evidently wizards don't have electric lights but they do have elevators?! This week, Ron sleeps in; Mr. Weasley rides the tube; Perkins saves the day;...

Ep. 47—Kreacher Comforts

26 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Break out your Hints from Heloise—this week, we're mostly cleaning! Sirius is stuck at 17; Molly over-parents; Harry learns … kind of a whole bunc...

Ep. 46—Magic Pixie Dream Girl

19 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Why can't wizards make plans that make any sense? This week, some aurors break and enter (more like, Mad Eye RUDE-y, I am right?), Tonks trips a bunch...

Ep. 45—My Cousin Dudley

12 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Get ready for 800+ pages of teenage angst, because we're starting Order of the Phoenix! Harry goes all Dashboard Confessional on us; Dudley discovers ...

Owl Post: Santa's Little House Elves

24 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Hello and Merry Christmas! We're briefly back with a special Owl Post episode, reading your smart and hilarious letters. We cover Horcruxes and depres...

Movie Mini 4: Harry Potter's Stupid Friend

07 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Special guest Kyle Price-Livingston joins us once again to discuss the worst entry into the Harry Potter film canon by a long shot. Why can't Michael ...

Ep. 44—Go Fudge Yourself

25 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Well, we've come to the end of the road, and I can let go. This book's too long for me, is it too long for you? (With infinite apologies to the smooth...

Ep. 43—Bartys All the Way Down

13 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Oh dear, we are not nice to darling Jo this week. Barty tells an implausible story; McGonagall makes friends with a dog; Dumbledore's eyes do a lot mo...

Ep. 42—Expelliarmust've Forgotten All the Other Spells

05 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Don't you wish your all-hands meetings took place in spooky graveyards? No? Just LoVo, then? This week: Voldy tells his side of the story; Harry grips...

Ep. 41—Goodnight, Sweet Puff

29 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Holy cow, this is a rough one—get ready to cry and cry. Rita Skeeter belatedly blows Book 2 wide open; Harry gets a merit badge in compasses; a Sphi...

Quibbler After Hours: Owl Post Again

23 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Hi, we messed up our audio this week, so instead of regularly scheduled programming, you get to hear from … yourselves! We read letters on wizarding...

Ep. 40—Twelve Angry Wizards

15 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Weird wispy cloud for your thoughts? Because Dumbledore has too many of 'em, and not enough are about making sure kids don't die in mazes. This week, ...

Ep. 39—Bubotuber Pus Remix

09 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There are only two actually funny things in this episode; sorry. They are bubotuber pus and nifflers. Otherwise, it's hate mail, torture, authoritaria...

Ep. 38—Dobby Ex Machina

31 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Harry's got to be under the sea, in a giant squid's garden, in peril. Get ready for the scuba trip from hell as Harry and the rest of the champions ta...

Ep. 37—Alternative Facts with Rita Skeeter

28 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Time for the worst thing a young wizard will ever experience: a school dance! This week, Dobby gets some knitwear; Ron practices his DIY skills; Parva...

Ep. 36—We've All Dated a Ron

17 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Twitterpation has turned to full-on hormone madness this week. Dobby is a high-fashion elf; all your faves are problematic; Harry is overly forgiving;...

Ep. 35—How to Pwn Your Dragon

10 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

If you were looking for total mayhem, the first task of the revamped Triwizard Tournament does not disappoint! Basically, these chapters go angst, ang...

Ep. 34—The Goblet of Fail

03 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Well, turns out things actually CAN get more insane in this book. This week, a cup had one job and utterly failed to do it; Mad Eye/Barty Jr. played t...

Ep. 33—Never Trust a Cup to Do a Hat's Job

27 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Are you ready for more: DANGEROUS CLASSES! DRAMATIC ENTRANCES! INSANE METHODS OF TRANSPORTATION! TEEN HEARTTHROBS! MONSTERS! NONSENSICAL PLOT TWISTS!?...

Ep. 32—DARE: Dark Arts Resistance Education

13 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Pimples, monsters, horoscopes, and questionable disciplinary measures greet the gang as classes resume at Hogwarts School of Peril and Mayhem. Malfoy ...

Ep. 31— You Mad-Eye, Bro?

09 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

A monster episode where nothing happens! Just kidding. We start with a mailbag, full of lovely and brilliant observations from you gorgeous people. Th...

Ep. 30—The Pureblood's Burden

29 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

A very special three-host episode, featuring Cousin of the Podcast Kyle Price-Livingston, jokester, genius, scholar, and rogue. We make Kyle talk abou...

Quibbler After Hours: Capital in the Wizarding World

22 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We do something truly wild and crazy this week: spend 45 minutes talking about wizard currency! By popular demand, it's an all-wizarding-economics epi...

Ep. 29—Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Quidditch

13 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

So, this book is crazy. Harry Potter enters its baroque period as we head to the Quidditch World Cup. We are worried about poor Mr. Roberts, not super...

Ep. 28—Make Cauldrons Thick Again

07 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

What would you do if your son was at home, lying with his tongue on the living room floor 'cause it's swelling, and the only way to fix it is to let a...

Ep. 27—Riddle Horror Picture Show

31 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Harry's literal nightmare! We start Goblet of Fire with a bang (and a flash of green light). Voldy needs feeding, Nagini needs milking, Wor...

Movie Mini 3—Ominous Unnamed Gryffindor

27 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This one is misnamed, y'all—it's a movie MAXI! First, we read our Owl Post, in which you geniuses weigh in on wizard technology, Boggart biology, th...