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Chapter 1: How can I protect my mother’s medical settlement from a gambling addict father?
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving in storage studios. It's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, and host of the Dr. John Deloney podcast, which is, quite frankly, exploding in listenership. Thank you guys for joining him on that. It is an incredible podcast. They do a great job. Also number one best-selling author, Ramsey Personality is my co-host today. Greg is going to start this hour. He is with us in Indianapolis. Hi, Greg.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hey, gentlemen, how are you doing?
Better than we deserve, sir. What's up in your world?
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Chapter 2: What are the implications of a cashless society?
Well, my mother has just received a medical malpractice settlement of about $125,000. My father is a degenerate gambler. We've been trying to explore ways that we could somehow legally keep this money so that it can last her for hopefully the rest of her life and to do it legally where he can't get ahold of it. And I was wondering what your advice might be.
Is she still in relationship with him? Is she still married?
She is. We've also explored that route and it seems like it's going to stay that way. So I don't believe that that easiest, most sensible option is going to be an option.
I'm sure Dave and I can come up with some ideas about trusts and things like that. You're running into what I think is one of the hardest things that we have to deal with as finite beings, which is wanting something for somebody else, wanting healing or safety for somebody else who, for a host of reasons, does not choose that for themselves. Absolutely. Absolutely. I agree.
Chapter 3: How does digital currency affect our current financial system?
It's a powerless feeling when you watch somebody you love stay in a relationship that's not safe. It's powerless when someone gets a ticket out and they choose to stay in. It's tough. Tough, tough, tough.
Yeah, especially mother and father. Oh, gosh. Polar opposites in this situation. It's pretty bad.
Even if she drew up a trust, immediately gave you the money, gave it like whatever... Is she going to be able to keep herself from asking for it back or for cashing it out and giving him a little bit here and a little bit there?
I think she will. She's pretty much agreed that she's willing to put it in my name or my name along with my brother.
How long is this dysfunctional relationship been going on?
Well, maybe forever. I didn't take notice until probably about six or seven years ago, maybe.
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Chapter 4: What should I know about investing in gold or silver?
When she retired, that's when I became a parent.
She's a completely codependent enabler. The chances of her telling him no over the next decade are close to zero.
You're correct. She's going to have to give you the money to give it away to her kids.
Well, and then you're going to be the evil son when she comes to you and wants her money.
Well, I mean, all I'm really concerned about is the legality of it. I don't want to step over the law as far as him being her spouse and him having any rights to it. And I also don't want something to happen to her.
uh... he gets to in his life and in that way you know so uh... you would have to speak with some attorneys in your state are they in indiana yes okay you have to speak with some attorneys in indiana to get some legal advice on how to properly do this and what the divorce laws are in most states most states from my little bit of understanding of the law and i'm not an attorney
Say that when you are married, half of what you have is his and half of it's hers. And it really doesn't really matter where you put it at that point. As a matter of fact, if she gave it all to you, the courts might go, she gave it all to you and half of it was his. and make you give it to him in the event of a divorce. Okay.
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Chapter 5: How do I handle financial disagreements with my spouse?
Um, and so, uh, if there's a, if there's a trust and she's the beneficiary of the trust and you are the trustee, um, he might have marital rights to that trust. I don't know. But, uh, in most, I'm, I'm amazed at, uh, the, one of the few things would be like if, um, if she brought this money into the marriage, um,
Then they might protect it, but it was, they were already married when she got the money. And in most States, the law is going to give him access to half of it and undo almost anything you try to do. Okay. The only thing that will actually protect her is divorce. And so the problem is this, they have so much bigger problem mathematically than $125,000.
And so the best news of this is it's making her face this yet again in a more real way and in a way that puts some weight on it.
her to have to actually think about how screwed up this situation is and so um i'm so sad for all of you it's just heartbreaking um but i you know meet with an estate attorney and see if under the laws of indiana if there's a way you can keep his hands off of it by moving it around somewhere into a trust or into your name or whatever um
I mean, she can gift it to you, but I think the gift could be undone in a divorce court in most states.
I understand. I'm assuming that the way you talked about your old man, that this ship has sailed, but is there something to be said for sitting down with him and saying, this is not for you, this is to keep you all alive for the next 15 years?
This type of thing has been tried, and my dad's always... kind of been an honorable man, but this has completely erased all of that.
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Chapter 6: What are effective strategies for budgeting as a couple?
Yeah.
Addictions turns people into liars and manipulators.
Absolutely. But being able to tell her that this advice came straight from Dave and John will be great. Okay. And I appreciate you guys telling me what you think about it.
Well, I'm sorry. I think the only way I can To my knowledge of 30 years being in the financial planning world, to my knowledge in most states with the way divorce law works, as I understand it, again, I want you to – you're welcome to double-check the legality of this because I could be wrong, okay? But I don't think I am. To my knowledge, the only way to protect this money is a divorce.
And the divorce court likely would say in this case – You might only be protecting half of it, right? You might be protecting half of it, but it might say, hey, this was awarded to her recently. He has this situation. But if you wait five years, they're not going to do that.
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Chapter 7: How can I improve communication with my partner about finances?
That's right. Okay. So, you know, I think that would protect it probably. But I'm not even sure then.
And Greg, you have to come to terms with the fact that you can't want her to be well more than she wants to be well. I mean, you can want it, but it's not going to affect that change. And at some point, you've got to open your hands here because you're going to put yourself in an early grave trying to get somebody else to change their life, which you can't do.
She thinks she's being kind by going along with all this, and she's being unkind to everyone involved. Herself included. Exactly. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Dave, they got into your CDs last night, man. I'm telling you, they got in my closet back there in the back.
Chapter 8: What are the long-term effects of financial stress on relationships?
They have taken your records and are playing them all today. It's bad. It's bad. This spring, Ramsey's looking forward to a lot of firsts, and we're pretty excited about it. For the first time ever, we're hosting a Smart Conference weekend. right here in Nashville, a Nashville weekend, and this will be the very first event we host at the new Ramsey Events Center.
We're making Ramsey history with this event. How cool is that? Smart Conference has always been our biggest and best event we have here at Ramsey. The Smart Conference weekend will be two days of jam-packed blowout event where all the Ramsey personalities teach on all the different areas of your life,
Me and Rachel Cruz, Ken Coleman on career, George Campbell on money, Dr. John Deloney on relationships, Christina Ellis. We're going to cover every area of your life. And because we're in Nashville, well, there might be some music people popping in. You just never know if one of my buddies is going to come around with these things.
And you're going to get a commemorative event badge and pass today. to celebrate the opening because you were there at the very first Ramsey Event Center event. And here's the thing. Very limited tickets for this event. Usually, the smart conference is 6,000 to 8,000 people. Our event center holds 2,500. 2,400, actually. So platinum tickets sold out like the first day we launched this.
There's a few other upgrade VIP tickets left. They're going really fast. Tickets start at $79, and that's the early bird special. You need to get yours right now before they're gone. Here's the details. April 14th and 15th, a Friday night and a Saturday. You can come in early on Friday. Watch us do the show. We do it from 1 to 4 Central Time on the glass.
There's always 50 to a couple of hundred folks sitting out here watching us, including right now. So just come to the Ramsey Events Center in Nashville. Make plans right now. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash events. Get your tickets right now, and you'll be ready to go. Our question of the day comes from blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee.
That means even if you mismeasure or you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. Free samples, free shipping, new promos all the time. Always use the promo code Ramsey and you'll get extra discounts.
All right, today's question comes from Wesley in Arizona. I've been hearing... Oh, man. Anytime somebody starts with, hey, I've been hearing... Oh, here we go. I've been hearing more and more in the news recently about the government looking at digital currency. Are they doing away with cash? And if so, should I be worried? Some are suggesting...
taking money out of the bank and investing it in gold or silver. That's not something I feel comfortable with, but I don't want to lose my money. They're coming for us, Dave. You got a little prepper down inside of you. Oh, way down in there. I'm worried about some, and I've been hearing... Man, they're coming for us.
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