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The Ramsey Show

Budgeting Is Not Social Conditioning! (Hour 3)

14 Jul 2023

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: How can I stop living paycheck to paycheck after financial infidelity?

30.389 - 55.46 Jade Warshaw

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pod's moving and storage studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I am your host, Jane Warshaw, conveniently joined by co-host, Dr. John Deloney, and we are taking calls about your life, your money. We are here today. All afternoon, you guys can call in.

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55.781 - 76.476 Jade Warshaw

The number is 888-825-5225. So if you are at home and you got the YouTube on and you're vacuuming, you can call. If you're listening first hour, call us in. If you're like, man, I've always listened to that show, but I don't know if they'll take my call. Call. You never know. You might get through. If you're listening on podcast, write down the number.

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76.917 - 93.289 Jade Warshaw

And then, you know, next time, you know, when it's time, give us a call. We want to chat about the things that are important to you. We want to help you sort out your life and your money. And by the way. If you are a person that's listening, thank you for listening. You guys are what keep us, you keep us running, as the Doobie Brothers said.

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93.309 - 114.68 Jade Warshaw

And we are so grateful for you listening, whether it's on the podcast app, Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen. Thank you. And do us one more. Do a favor and share the show if you can share it with a buddy of yours. You can text them your favorite episode. But when you do that, it's good for all of us. It makes this show become more apparent in people's feed. You know what I'm saying?

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114.7 - 125.854 Jade Warshaw

It pumps it up in the algorithm so they see it and more people can get this news of hope and freedom. And we want that. So go ahead and share it. While you're there, go ahead and like it, subscribe it.

Chapter 2: What is the difference between a budget and a spending plan?

126.174 - 146.998 Jade Warshaw

That would be very, very good because, you know, John, we don't we're not out here spending these these advertising dollars like like some of these folks are. And you guys, y'all did it. Y'all are the ones that shared it. So thank you for that. All right. Let's go to the phone lines. I think I'm ready to do that. We've got Val from Edmonton, Canada. Oh, Lord, what's going on in Edmonton, Val?

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148.21 - 153.821 Val (the Canadian caller)

Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. I'm so nervous. I'm so glad you guys took my call. Of course.

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155.163 - 168.008 Dr. John Deloney

I appreciate it. Val, you are the second Canadian to call to start the show with such kindness and positivity. Thank you for injecting joy into this wild world we live in.

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168.73 - 190.576 Val (the Canadian caller)

Well, I tell everybody here too. And I guess the biggest lesson I've learned is unfortunately, well, fortunately, I've been listening to this Dave Ramsey show for a very long time. And at the beginning, I didn't really, you know, I listened to it because I applied that. I'm the type of person that will not sleep overnight because I owe money or I'm in debt.

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190.696 - 212.44 Val (the Canadian caller)

And unfortunately, my ex-husband didn't feel that way. But the good news is when I start listening to Dave Ramsey, there were so many red flags saying, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. I am, but he's not, but we've not been. Fortunately or unfortunately, almost ended up on the street because of his gambling.

214.343 - 236.554 Val (the Canadian caller)

But when I tried to implement all of these things, it was very healing for me, even though very painful, that I realized we're not on the same page at all and know where we're going to be. And he would just, you know, keep gambling, keep, you know, almost lost my mind and almost lost my home and so on and so forth. So if nothing else,

237.277 - 247.212 Val (the Canadian caller)

Please, everybody that's listening, it's painful, but you have to do it because at the end of the day, it's going to happen anyway, so at least you're going to be prepared.

Chapter 3: How can musicians make extra money?

248.694 - 271.269 Val (the Canadian caller)

The other thing I want to ask, I'm 68 years old, and I've taken menial jobs, which I never think they're menial jobs, but not what I usually do in my life. I've always worked with non-profits. for low-income seniors or, you know, kids or whatever. And I'm just wondering at this stage of the game that I have a very hard time finding a job.

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271.329 - 276.801 Val (the Canadian caller)

I have to take cleaning jobs or retail jobs, things that are a little bit harder for me.

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276.821 - 277.442 Bruno Satin

Uh-huh.

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277.642 - 299.447 Val (the Canadian caller)

But the question I guess I really want to know, how do I get to live comfortably? I know I've downsized everything, apartment. I can't find apartments too expensive. And, you know, jobs are very, you know, they don't want to hire you because you're too old. So I guess there are times where I think, well, how do I go about that?

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299.427 - 324.27 Jade Warshaw

so right now you're feeling so the word I heard was how do I live comfortably so right now it feels like you're living paycheck to paycheck yeah feels like you don't have money to do the things that you want to do and maybe even some of the things that you need to do is that what I'm hearing yes and I think the biggest thing that I'm questioning is how did I get here so quickly when I've worked hard all my life two jobs I worked

324.723 - 328.609 Val (the Canadian caller)

80 hours a week to pay off revenue Canada because they got done with that.

328.809 - 348.439 Jade Warshaw

Well, my guess is my guess is, you know, sometimes we find ourselves in situations and it's like, man, how did I get here? It may have been some choices that were made that got you there, whether by you directly or for the by the people that, you know, affect your life. It sounds like your husband has played a major part. in the state of your finances at this point.

348.94 - 369.812 Jade Warshaw

So right now, can I get just a quick picture of what things look like? Tell me what you're bringing home every month after taxes. And then I kind of want to get a picture of what, if there's debt, if there's savings, I kind of want to get a quick picture of your financial snapshot. So what do you take home every month after taxes?

370.933 - 372.375 Val (the Canadian caller)

About $3,000 a month.

Chapter 4: What should I consider when budgeting for a house after getting married?

386.315 - 386.536 Val (the Canadian caller)

Yeah.

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386.776 - 389.644 Jade Warshaw

Okay. Anything else that you want to add to that monthly income?

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390.873 - 415.312 Val (the Canadian caller)

No, that's it. Okay, great. And the problem I'm struggling with is I'm doing cleaning of condos and it's taken a toll on me, right? I don't know how much longer I can do this and I'm getting stressed out about it because if I don't do this job and been trying to find other jobs, then I'm down to $1,000 a month and that's just not enough to live on, right?

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415.573 - 419.467 Jade Warshaw

That's right. What's your debt situation? None.

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420.01 - 422.201 Val (the Canadian caller)

No debt. I just paid off my Revenue Canada.

422.562 - 426.06 Jade Warshaw

Great. What's your living situation? Are you homeowner? Are you renter?

427.137 - 444.998 Val (the Canadian caller)

No, renting, I actually moved in with my son because the rents were getting too high and the power, I just couldn't manage it because at the time I couldn't find a job and now I've actually found a job but still, if I'm following Dave Ramsey's areas, that's why I downsized a year ago.

445.178 - 464.82 Val (the Canadian caller)

I was renting from a friend and that become a little dicey there and too much money and my son split up with his wife so Um, I decided to move in with him and help him. Is there a timeline on that? Is there a timeline with your son? No, there isn't. And that was the other question. I've been there a year now.

464.86 - 471.314 Jade Warshaw

Okay. Are you still there by the way? Oh yeah.

Chapter 5: How can I help my family financially without jeopardizing my own stability?

475.332 - 495.163 Jade Warshaw

My guess is there is going to be an end date at some point to this. And you guys might want to start talking about this. But the key is, you know, you've got to start getting your savings. You have three to six months of savings. And then if so, are you investing any money? Because where I'm hung up here, Val, is you don't have any debt. You have an income.

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495.143 - 512.642 Jade Warshaw

But yet and still, you're still living paycheck to paycheck. So part of my question is, where is all this money going towards every single month? At this point in the game, if you have no debt, the next step would be to save three to six months of expenses. And after that, you got to start investing some money. You got to start getting some money set aside for the future because you're right.

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512.782 - 514.907 Jade Warshaw

A thousand dollars is not going to cut it.

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514.887 - 527.783 Dr. John Deloney

And I can't help you with the work in Edmonton. Hang on the line. We're going to send you Ken Coleman's book, Proximity Principle. It will help you get some ideas on how you can find some work there. It is there, but it can be tough to find.

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534.243 - 557.263 Jade Warshaw

Hey, what's going on, everybody? You are listening to The Ramsey Show, and thank you for listening. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw, joined by John Deloney. Give us a call, and you can be live on air, airing all of your grievances and money dirty laundry. I'm just kidding, but do give us a call. We'd be happy to talk through anything with you. The number is 888-825-5225 if you want to call in.

557.243 - 586.626 Jade Warshaw

uh john you know this is one of my favorite parts sometimes about this show is these articles that come through sometimes it's articles that we ourselves found and thought were kind of interesting or sometimes it's just something that's on the desk they're like guys you need to look at this uh this one came through it says why a spending plan is better than a budget can you give us some some light on this what are we talking about here yes i golly dude all right here's my thoughts on this

588.766 - 616.495 Dr. John Deloney

listen here's why a spending plan is better than a budget says a financial psychologist here's what the financial psychologist says which by the way not a thing but we'll go from there financial psychology is about the humanness of money how people think feel behave about their money and their relationships with money in the past present and future wait are you saying this is not a real field

617.74 - 626.632 Dr. John Deloney

I can tell you I've been in and around the field of mental health my entire life, and I've never heard the phrase financial psychology or a financial psychologist.

627.013 - 628.334 Jade Warshaw

Okay, okay.

Chapter 6: What steps should I take to manage my debt effectively?

635.744 - 663.12 Dr. John Deloney

It's 80% behavior. You got to know what you're thinking and doing. So who you are contributes to what your money is doing and where your money is going. Certain forms of social conditioning. It's so stupid. Certain forms of social conditioning, such as budgeting, also come into play. Let me make a very clear statement. Budgeting is not social conditioning. Go off, John. It's not.

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664.147 - 687.942 Dr. John Deloney

Psychologically, budgets sound restrictive. Here's what's happened. Over the last 40 or 50 years, there's been a clever contest in my field, my mental health field, of people, you don't just have anxiety, you have high functioning anxiety. That's not a thing. Not a thing. It's not any DSM. It doesn't exist. Oh, so you're saying folks are making up things. They are making things. Here's why.

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688.102 - 713.895 Dr. John Deloney

Here's why. To give somebody a label for why they feel the way they do, to like diagnostic. I've got to provide a label for every feeling that exists in the world. I got to label you. And I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. And so psychologically budget sounds restrictive is what the article says. A spending plan sounds a lot better and they give more freedom and flexibility.

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714.295 - 717.78 Dr. John Deloney

They actually don't. So here's the catch here.

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Chapter 7: How do I find a balance between helping family and maintaining my financial health?

718.461 - 738.832 Dr. John Deloney

Math still applies whether you have a spending plan or a budget. How much money do you make? How much money do you have versus how much do you spend? And you can play all kinds of semantic gymnastics. A budget is about what you've spent. A spending a plan is about what you're about to spend.

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739.733 - 751.613 Dr. John Deloney

What are you doing to the hurting person sitting in front of you as you're playing these Dungeons and Dragons games with them with your vocabulary and they're hurting? What they need to be told is this.

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752.099 - 767.003 Dr. John Deloney

you can take control of your money and here's how much you make and here's how much you spend who do you want to be who do you want to become what's the life you want to lead and how can we get there i will promise you

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767.354 - 785.397 Dr. John Deloney

The most shameful thing I've experienced since leaving higher ed and coming to work here is how my lofty language and my theoretical propositions and the way I communicated was wholly unhelpful to a single mom with three kids just trying to figure out what can I do next.

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785.818 - 803.453 Dr. John Deloney

To a truck driver who's got two boys and he just wants to be a little bit better dad and his dad left him and he doesn't know what to do. And I'm here thinking, saying, well, you know, Have you thought about the correct attachment disorder? Bro, how can I help my kid, right? And so the reason this gets, it sets me off

804.58 - 829.052 Dr. John Deloney

is a budget should be restrictive and a budget frees up everything and when you part the way dave uses budgets the way ramsey solutions uses budgets is we are always talking about a plan into the future yeah and so saying that's not that you can't just play well i guess our whole culture does that now you can't just say well that doesn't mean that anymore it means this now and

829.032 - 849.463 Dr. John Deloney

I'm going to co-opt this word and I'm going to create a whole new branch of psychology called financial psychology. Here's what I want everybody to do. I want everybody to stop with the gymnastics and help hurting people. And if you're sitting down and someone says, hey, I've tried to be on a budget. My dad beat me up with a budget. Say, okay, cool. We're not going to call it a budget.

849.483 - 851.748 Dr. John Deloney

We'll call it a spending plan. I'm actually okay with that. That's fine.

851.868 - 852.229 Jade Warshaw

That's fine.

Chapter 8: What are the best strategies for saving and investing after paying off debt?

857.86 - 860.946 Dr. John Deloney

It's math. It's math. It's math.

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861.5 - 864.264 Jade Warshaw

I agree, John. I'm here for the pop off.

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864.344 - 884.149 Dr. John Deloney

I'm heartbroken, man, because there's hurting people and people who have gone to college for a long, long time in order to help other people have gotten so sophisticated and so excited about their new words and the way they explain things and so reluctant to have people feel uncomfortable in front of them that we're not helping anybody anymore.

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884.213 - 885.036 Jade Warshaw

That's so good.

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885.518 - 910.995 Dr. John Deloney

We're not helping anybody. Here's the truth. Here's the truth. And I'm backing out of this financial psychology. More people right now than ever before in human history are under the care of a mental health professional. More people, a licensed mental health professional, more people than ever before are under, are taking medication for psychological issues right now.

911.996 - 932.777 Dr. John Deloney

And the trend line is a rocket ship directly up to the moon and beyond. And so as a mental health guy, this is my world, these are my friends, these are my community, these are who I talk to on a regular basis. This is my academic training. I have to be willing to step back and say, what we're doing is not working.

932.797 - 956.448 Dr. John Deloney

Throwing this at these problem, coming up with new things that make people feel, ah, I didn't want to feel restrictive or telling somebody you've been socially conditioned to budget. You need to have a spending plan. We are teaching people to avoid reality and an avoidance of reality at its core makes people insane. Wow. That's the definition. It's a lack of connectivity to reality.

956.748 - 976.218 Dr. John Deloney

So I'm done talking about it. If it makes you feel better to say spending plan, knock your lights out. If it makes you feel better to say budget, at this company, at Ramsey Solutions, it means we use these interchangeably. This is a budget is how much money do you make? How much money have you spent? And who do you want to become in the future? What's the world you want to build?

976.518 - 1001.954 Dr. John Deloney

That's how we've used budget for 30 years and beyond. And to my friends who are in the mental health profession, stop. Stop. all of our sophisticated mumbo jumbo, all of our creating diagnostics just so we can get an article on some blog somewhere. We're taking people further and further and further away from reality. And sometimes reality is uncomfortable. Sometimes reality hurts.

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