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Chapter 1: Should we downsize our home to become debt-free?
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Jade Walsh, our Ramsey personality, is my co-host today as we answer your questions here at 888-825-5225. Dave is going to start off this hour in Indianapolis. Hi, Dave.
How are you? I'm doing just fine, Dave. I have been a major fan and listened to you for over 15 years. I have read the Total Money Makeover. I have done it practically, though, by myself. My wife has never been on board with it. But I have gotten myself to a place to where I am debt-free except for my mortgage, but I'm 63 years old, and I owe $150,000 on the mortgage.
The house is worth about $400,000. We have about $90,000 on hand in cash. And what I have been thinking, and I wanted to ask you, and I'm so frustrated, very, very honored again to be talking to you right now.
Chapter 2: How can I get my finances back on track after a divorce?
I respect you very, very much in your whole cast there that you have. Thank you. I'm trying to think this out and think this through. No credit card debt, no, no, nothing. We don't even have a car payment. Um, and absolutely nothing. But the thing of it is, is that I think that we should downsize from the bigger house that we have for a lot of reasons. But I think moreover,
I'm not as disciplined as I could be, and I do realize that you cannot treat your program like a la carte or like a buffet. You just can't miss a step. You can't do one thing. And I've gotten myself to this point by listening to you and listening to the other examples, but I haven't done it the correct way, and there's no way to do it.
But if I downsize by a $300,000 house or maybe $310,000 house, I'll be totally debt-free and set myself up in a better position To retire and Dave I had a very bad argument with my wife last night, and she doesn't want to move That is correct sir.
Yeah, don't move It will not I mean if we have a nice house, but it's big and it's the maintenance doesn't want to move That's right You're 63 years old.
Chapter 3: Is it wise to pause retirement contributions to make ends meet?
There's a chance you're gonna spend 30 years with her Yeah, you don't want her pissed off for 30 years I All right. Yeah. Okay. Now, what I think is fair is to say the reason I brought this up is because I'm scared. I'm afraid we're not going to have a good retirement, and I was trying to figure out a way to stabilize this.
If we're going to stay here, I'm going to have to have some help from you. You're going to have to help. We're going to have to work together. I can't carry this by myself and you be an anchor while I'm trying to move this forward. I can't do it. That's why I brought up something as bizarre as selling the house because I'm tired and I'm scared and you have to help me.
if we're going to stay in this house otherwise we're going to have more of these fights because i'm scared and i'm tired of doing this by myself and i if if you want to stay in this house i'll go along with that but the trade-off is you gotta help you gotta get on board that's a fair ask of her i'm sorry yeah no that that is that is perfectly reasonable i i
I thought you would see it from more of a financial standpoint and said, yes, just downsize. They have no mortgage, but,
Chapter 4: What should I consider when dealing with a family member's new marriage?
the personal aspect of this is kind of outweighing that and i appreciate it yeah because it's not just your money it's not just your house it's not just your decision and unfortunately in times like this where you you do know best it doesn't mean that you can just go and act on it because the two of you are a unit and you know you you opened up the call with you know i've tried to get her on board before have you ever talked to her in the way that dave just laid out
No, I haven't done it in that manner. I have a tendency of not talking, not communicating that well with my wife the way that you just presented that. You know, and sometimes Sharon and I, when we had been married about 10 years, we spent about a year and a half in pretty intense marriage counseling because we were attempting to kill each other. And it wasn't going good.
And, you know, a few times since then, we've still used that marriage counselor has become a lifelong friend, by the way.
we still will use her such it's a lady sometimes we'll call her and let her referee on something we cannot get through and we'll say hey margaret you ready referee we're going to come over for an hour and she says okay and we come over we drop a fee on her and she referees for an hour and but the But we both respect her enough that we think we can guide our way through something.
We can't figure it out. Even after 40 years of doing this, we cannot get on the same page. It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally we get something we're both bullheaded about. Usually one of us will let back and go and let the other one go.
I mean, is it really a marriage if you haven't attempted to kill each other? Let's be honest about that, Dave.
Until you reach that point, you cannot officially call it marriage.
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Chapter 5: How can we communicate effectively about financial decisions in a marriage?
So true.
I had a lady one time, she said, we've been married 35 years and we've never had a fight. And I said, that's because you lie.
man oh man healthy conflict is healthy conflict is healthy don't don't avoid it so yeah dave you're no different than any of us in other words you're the same thing but uh i think the point is is you're grasping at straws because you cannot see a way to do this and keep the house and there is a way to do this and keep the house you've got enough years left you have 90 000 in the bank
If we threw $60,000 of that at the $150,000, we've only got $90,000 to go. And if we knock out $30,000 a year for the next three years, your $66,000 in the house is paid for and she's in the house she wants to die in. So let's try to go at it that way. But baby doll, that means $30,000 a year. That's $2,500 a month. And we've not been doing that because you're not doing that.
And we got to do that together. If we're going to stay in this house, that's the cost of the deal. Right.
yeah i think that if he lays it out as you so eloquently did which clearly you learned in counseling i think he'll be all right i've used this technique at home yeah yeah no i mean you just got to talk it out and say look i and dr dr john deloney when he's on here a lot tells people look have you bothered to tell them how scared you are yeah
have you bothered to tell them how angry you are have you bothered to tell them not just you need to get on board right dave stuff that's ridiculous nobody wants to do that if you bother to tell them how excited you are about enthusiastic how much this makes me smile the idea of being debt free and we don't um uh i mean all spouses have a tendency to say you know i thought
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Chapter 6: What are the emotional impacts of financial stress on relationships?
But you got mind reading lessons with that marriage certificate, and you didn't. You were supposed to understand. You have to tell me this makes you smile. You have to tell me this makes you scared, because otherwise you don't know.
Yeah.
It makes you tired.
Good advice, Dave.
That's good. Good. You know. Fun stuff. Jade Warshaw, Ramsey Personality, this hour, all here for you people. This is The Ramsey Show. Jade Warshaw, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America.
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Chapter 7: How can I manage a trust when my parent remarries?
We are so glad you're here. Hey, guys, this time of year can feel really crazy busy. The goals you set with vacations around, they can seem distant or fuzzy. But the thing is, the kids are going to be back in school in the fall. You're going to hit a whole other gear, and then you're going to blink, and it's going to be 2024. You need a plan now.
to refocus on the goals that you set this year, like getting out of debt, building wealth, taking care of your mental health, maybe pursuing that career change that you love. Join me and the rest of the Ramsey personalities at Smart Conference in Chicago. We'll be there September 15th and 16th, and we'll show you exactly how to reach those goals.
You'll learn how to get money smart, relationship smart, career smart. Smart! You'll leave with tons of encouragement. Rachel Cruz, Dr. John Deloney, Ken Coleman, Jade Washaw, right here to my right, and George Camel, all speaking and teaching you. Smart Conference is Ramsey's biggest event of the year. We want you to be there in Chicago with us in September.
Chapter 8: What steps should I take to protect my interests in a family trust?
Early bird tickets are on sale, $79. Here's the thing. The early bird pricing is about to run out. You want the good price? Do it now. Ramseysolutions.com slash events. Smart Conference, Chicago in September. Don't miss it. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us.
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Or if you're just a listener, a viewer, a talk radio, TBN, whatever, just tell people where we are. And we appreciate that. We know a bunch of you are doing that because there's a bunch of new folk hanging out. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Nicole is with us in Atlanta. Hi, Nicole. Welcome to The Ramsey Show.
Hi, thanks for taking my call.
Sure, what's up?
Okay, well, I am a newly divorced single mom of five children. Two of my children are handicapped. I have been a stay-at-home mom since 2020, and all of my children are under the age of eight, so daycare would definitely be helpful. Too expensive for me. I have three of them are going to be full time in school in the fall.
So I have really been praying about, you know, finding a job that suits the needs of my family, both financially and financially. with my time and what I've felt led to be looking for is remote jobs. When we were in the midst of our divorce, I looked at your budget outline and was trying to see like, okay, how can I make a budget?
Because right now I am living off of the social security disability for our, my two daughters and, to make sure the mortgage gets paid, the lights stay on. And, you know, I have other government assistance to help with food and health insurance just so that we're covered.
You kept the house.
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