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The Ramsey Show

Get Back In The Driver Seat Of Your Life (Hour 2)

14 Jul 2023

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

29.495 - 52.217 Jade Warshaw

live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting live from the Podmoving and Storage Studio. It's the Ramsey Show, where America is hanging out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I am your host, Jade Warshaw, joined by Dr. John Deloney. In this hour, we're going to be taking calls about you. You get to decide what it is that we're going to talk about today.

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52.238 - 53.779 Jade Warshaw

Are we going to talk about getting on a budget?

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Chapter 2: How can I discuss taking time off work with my family?

54.059 - 75.01 Jade Warshaw

Are we going to talk about renting versus... buying a house outright are we going to talk about how to get this money saved the show is about you so give us a call 888-825-5225 is the number and in the meantime we're going to go to sherry in calgary canada oh sherry what's going on girl

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76.12 - 80.629

Oh, nothing much. I kind of had, I hope you guys are doing well today, by the way.

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80.669 - 87.763 Dr. John Deloney

That's the most Canadian welcome. You just had to get some niceness in there. You're so great.

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89.266 - 115.323

Well, thank you. So I'm in a bit of a weird situation. I guess more of a question for you, John. Sorry, Jane. But so I'm a part of a family business and I came back full time from university two years ago. And I'm struggling setting up boundaries with my dad, who is the owner and has been for the last since I was born. So 25 years ago.

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116.605 - 143.777

And I'm trying to get my life set up, like not only professionally, which I think I'm doing a pretty good job, but And I don't mean to disrespect him at all, but just like telling him that I cannot physically work as much as he can. And, like, I haven't had a day off in, I think, over four months. Wow. I'm burning out, and I don't know how to tell him.

143.817 - 167.903

Like, I have had these conversations where I tell him, like, hey, I can't, you know, I need a day to just get the house in order and, like, do laundry. And he just doesn't understand that. Is it just you and him? Yeah. It's pretty much just me and him. And I try to give him days off and he's been able to take a vacation in the span of time and he's about 60.

167.963 - 178.318

So I just, I feel bad letting him take on all the work all the time. And also like I'm trying my best, but I just don't know how to deal with it.

178.568 - 189.541 Dr. John Deloney

No, there's a reason there's laws about breaks. A human can't work four months in a row without a day off. That's just madness.

190.763 - 196.11

Yeah, it's an agriculture, so I have like over 200 hours a month. Yeah, exactly.

Chapter 3: What are the drawbacks of 0% financing?

204.401 - 230.249 Dr. John Deloney

So I want you to put the family business aside. I want you to put the relationship with your dad off to the side for a second. And if you called into this show and you said, hey, I'm working for this supervisor. He's a nice guy. I've told him what I need. I told him that I'm running into the ground, that I've worked for four days straight. I'm working 200 hours a week running ag.

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231.592 - 252.973 Dr. John Deloney

I would tell you to quit the job before the day is over because it's going to kill you. And here's the thing. The reason you're calling is because you know it is killing you. You can feel it. And you also have this other thing hovering over here, which is your relationship with your dad. And so the best I have ever seen it in my whole professional career.

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254.776 - 280.286 Dr. John Deloney

is the way dave and rachel and daniel and denise the kids handle it here's a couple of the rules and i've seen it in action and as a bystander it can be super uncomfortable when rachel cruz asks did you hear what dave said and i'm asking like is this a test because that's your dad that's your dad at the office all the kids call him dave They refer to him as Dave.

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280.407 - 305.449 Dr. John Deloney

I've seen them in meetings get very heated. And the conversation is to Dave and to Rachel. And then I've seen him at the house and it's dad and everybody at the table. Yes. Everybody at the table has to agree that we can talk about work for somebody to bring up work. There's just a big, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I've seen it. It's incredible. And here's the deal.

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305.609 - 323.795 Dr. John Deloney

You're not getting that from your dad like you should. So you have to get back in the driver's seat of your own life and say, dad, I no longer work on Sundays, period. I will not work. I'm crashing into the ground. I'm not going to answer my phone. My phone shuts off.

323.815 - 325.958 Jade Warshaw

Sherry, what happens if you do that?

327.608 - 342.357

Well, it's not just consequences for like our relationship, right? It's like the business in general. And I've tried to bring up maybe because we can afford it. We can hire help, but he just doesn't like seem to want to trust people.

342.417 - 345.263 Dr. John Deloney

But he doesn't need to because you keep showing up.

346.627 - 347.609

Well, kind of.

Chapter 4: What should I do with a house I can't afford after a breakup?

360.573 - 377.489

Yeah. No, I totally agree with you. It's just... I've tried to do that. Like, um, this winter I kind of tried to set up a schedule with everybody. And, um, then I also started interviewing people just kind of without his consent because I'm also like kind of an owner operator now.

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378.45 - 383.136 Jade Warshaw

Well, not really cause you're not getting the salary, right? Yeah. You're not getting paid what you want to get paid.

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383.156 - 401.141

You're working. No, I get paid. I get paid quite a bit. I successfully negotiate, um, my way up, but it's just kind of, um, And I do have a lot of decision-making power. I do all of our marketing. I've definitely made this place grow over the course of two years.

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401.421 - 407.448 Jade Warshaw

John and I are not arguing your value to the company. We know you're valuable.

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407.508 - 411.914

I just don't know how to get him on board with maybe hiring another person.

411.934 - 419.783 Dr. John Deloney

John gave you the solution. You've tried. You've tried for months and months to reason with him, to educate him. He's not getting the message.

419.763 - 427.962 Jade Warshaw

Sherry, you're so sweet and you're so kind and you love him and he's your dad. You need to give this man some problems.

428.343 - 431.59 Dr. John Deloney

I am not working on Sundays and I leave Saturdays at noon.

431.811 - 432.332 Jade Warshaw

That's right.

Chapter 5: How can I encourage my spouse to take finances seriously?

484.24 - 504.581 Dr. John Deloney

Actually, at work, I'm going to call you Dan. And then at home, I'm going to call you Dad. And then Sundays, I don't work. Saturdays, I'm off at noon. I will walk out. And you have to be courageous and gangster and brave and actually walk out. And it will have to be uncomfortable for a couple of times before your dad's like, oh, just hire somebody. Then if you're just going to quit on me.

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505.322 - 508.046 Dr. John Deloney

All right, cool. I'll hire somebody. And then make it happen that way.

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508.466 - 510.369 Jade Warshaw

I think Sherry's a G. I think she's going to.

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510.709 - 511.13 Dr. John Deloney

She has to.

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511.25 - 517.699 Jade Warshaw

I think she's going to gangster up and put dad in his rightful place so she can maintain her relationship.

517.719 - 523.467 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah, this is all in service of I want to still like you as my dad. And I'm starting to not like you as my dad.

523.487 - 548.658 Jade Warshaw

That's how you do it. John laid it out for you. This is The Ramsey Show. All right, all right, all right, all right. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw, your host today, joined by Dr. John Deloney, your other host for the day, taking calls about your life and money. You know the number, 888-825-5225 is it. All right.

549.119 - 569.64 Jade Warshaw

Our question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services. Neighborly's nationwide network of locally owned home service pros like Molly Maid. You got Shelf Genie. You've got Mr. Appliance. These guys take the stress out of home repairs, maintenance, and improvements. Visit Neighborly.com to schedule a service today.

569.66 - 571.862 Dr. John Deloney

I think I need to holler at all of those people.

Chapter 6: What are the best strategies for saving for college with multiple children?

609.308 - 629.684 Jade Warshaw

So let's say, OK, let's say we have a vehicle. It's twenty thousand dollars and you finance it. Right. Zero percent. So you're not paying. You're still paying payments. You're not paying anything additionally, but you've still said, hey, I'm going to pay you X amount of dollars for the next five years for this car. So you're still adding a layer of risk to your life.

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629.744 - 652.017 Jade Warshaw

You're a slave to that lender because it's like, hey, I'm on the hook to pay this money. If anything should happen in my life, if I lose my job, if I don't know, mama decides she wants to stay at home now and be a stay at home mom. And we go down to a one income family. And now I'm feeling the stress of that. We're still there's still this idea, John, that if we can't pay cash for something, we

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651.997 - 661.025 Jade Warshaw

We can't afford it, period. If you're asking how much a month instead of asking how much, then you're, do you see what I'm saying? You're borrowing at that point.

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661.466 - 680.603 Jade Warshaw

So even though theoretically, yeah, if you were going to borrow money, which I think is a horrible idea, and yeah, a lower interest rate is better than a higher interest rate and a zero interest rate is better than interest, but you're still borrowing money. To that end, I'd be like, hey, just pay it off.

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680.583 - 695.419 Dr. John Deloney

And the average car loan is between five and seven years now, right? They've kicked it out. Just for context, six years ago was two states and three jobs for me away that I did not know existed.

696.221 - 697.123 Jade Warshaw

Wow. Yeah.

697.88 - 715.904 Dr. John Deloney

Two states and three jobs away. And so to say I'm going to sign, I'm going to chain myself to something, even though it's not going to be a chain and a slap in the face, it's just going to be a chain. And for the next five to seven years, I'm confident enough in our government. I'm confident enough in my boss who I don't like.

715.944 - 720.11 Dr. John Deloney

I'm confident enough in the market that I'm watching fail right in front of me. Whatever you do.

720.33 - 720.951 Jade Warshaw

Yeah.

Chapter 7: Is it okay to sell my rental property if I'm tired of being a landlord?

775.505 - 782.211 Dr. John Deloney

If you can't pay for it in cash, you cannot afford it. You can't afford it. And that's okay. That is okay. That's okay.

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782.772 - 797.005 Jade Warshaw

You know, you make such a good point, John. We always project. It's like when we project the future, it's always perfect. Always. It's like, I'll be in this job and I'll be making this money and the kids will be healthy and everybody will be perfect. And it's like, no, dude, I wish that was the case.

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797.025 - 804.432 Dr. John Deloney

We do it worse, Jade. We want up. We go, and I'm going to be getting 5% raises every year. So in six years, I'm going to be making this much and then I'll be...

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804.682 - 814.958 Jade Warshaw

Which is even more ridiculous than to keep the debt. Because it's like, look, if you know you're making money, go ahead and pay that joker off is all I'm saying. Okay. I think we basically drilled that one into the ground.

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814.998 - 816.701 Dr. John Deloney

I want you to be free. That's all I'm saying.

817.322 - 824.433 Jade Warshaw

The borrower is slave to the lender. If you don't ask how much a month, simply ask how much and pay in cash.

824.453 - 835.85 Dr. John Deloney

That's the moral of the story. Just say, I'm going to give you this much. Can I give you this much for that car? Can I give you this much for that thing? And man, that changes the conversation a lot.

836.07 - 843.4 Jade Warshaw

I like it. I like it. All right, let's move on. Let's go to Kelly in Philadelphia. Where she was born and raised. Look, we were both there.

843.6 - 847.205 Dr. John Deloney

Hey, the playground is where she spent most of her days. What's up, Kelly?

Chapter 8: What steps can I take to manage my work-life balance effectively?

900.258 - 928.26

Um, Needless to say, that relationship ended. So now I have a house that's probably at the top tier of my budget that I am struggling to decide what to do with now. So I love the community I'm in. I love my neighborhood. I feel like this is the one thing that is now consistent in my life versus all the other changes that I'm going through. But I'm making about...

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928.24 - 956.257

$200 more than what my expenses are per month. So I'm trying to decide if This house that I have an extra room in, would it make sense to have a roommate and try to, you know, get back to, you know, being able to pay towards this a little bit faster than I am currently?

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956.958 - 959.985 Jade Warshaw

I'm going to let John talk to you about what I think is...

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959.965 - 989.635 Jade Warshaw

deeper than the money issue here but hear me when I say if you only have $200 in margin this house is too expensive having a roommate is a good idea but I would only enter into a situation like that when you know you can make the payment regardless of a roommate and the roommate is just icing on top so you need to think about a way to get out of this home and John's going to tell you why except I'm going to put a caveat on it okay

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989.615 - 994.783 Dr. John Deloney

How long ago is this breakup? It sounds like it is still right there at the top of your heart.

995.945 - 997.908

It was about three weeks ago.

998.008 - 1000.432 Dr. John Deloney

Okay, so you're still living in it.

1000.452 - 1017.158

I've been trying to do the budgeting now. What does my future look like? Obviously, this was on the back burner for the first few weeks of trying to process everything. Just breathe again. I'm trying to be smart about my next steps and

1017.509 - 1040.468 Dr. John Deloney

Yes. So somebody who is very important to me, a mentor of mine, the guy who trained me on crisis response, actually the guy that gave me the phrase, facts are your friends, Dr. Young. He gave me some personal wisdom when I had a personal tragedy several years ago that has proven to be wise, not only in my life, but in the life of people I've sit with when things get sideways.

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