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The Ramsey Show

I'm Buried in Debt

26 Dec 2023

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

29.984 - 57.375 Dave Ramsey

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour as we talk about your life and your money. It's a free call, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. The number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

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57.395 - 78.777 Dave Ramsey

Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality, and host of The Dr. John Deloney Show, a very, very popular podcast on the Ramsey Networks. is my co-host today. So we're going to be talking with you. Again, 888-825-5225. Ben's in Salt Lake City. Hey, Ben, welcome to the Ramsey Show.

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78.797 - 83.901

Hey, Dave and John, thank you for your time today. Sure.

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84.141 - 84.802 Dave Ramsey

How can we help, sir?

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86.484 - 121.731

Hey, so I'll just try to skim over the top real quick. I am a full-time single dad, and I was on Baby Step 2 when I got sued by my ex for custody. And, um, so I've put everything on hold, um, been trying to cashflow, uh, through the process that started back in September. And, uh, um, basically, uh, starting to run out of money and, um, and, uh, I know there's a lot more expenses coming up.

122.452 - 136.236

I'm looking for, a way to be able to do that because I don't want to lose my son. And, um, uh, I'm, I'm trying to decide whether to take a loan or, or if I, if I can go on anymore, you know what I mean?

136.256 - 140.683 Dr. John Deloney

So what's the basis of the custody suit?

143.888 - 170.084

Um, she just, uh, so she was on the other side of the country and she just wants to, um, basically flip it. Uh, she, Um, she said he's not, you know, uh, been treated well and, and he's struggling and, and things like that. But he's, he's, he's doing very well with, uh, friends in school and, and he's being taken care of. So that's, that's her argument for it.

170.104 - 186.714

But she, um, her attitude is basically, she's going to, uh, we, we've tried to work it outside of court, but nothing. It, I would be very surprised if she changed her mind on that. So. Man, I'm sorry.

Chapter 2: What challenges does a single dad face during a custody battle?

427.75 - 439.594 Dave Ramsey

Which we have a court date and everything set. So. Okay. then what I'm going to do is take six jobs and work through the 15,000 if that's it. Because that's doable.

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443.877 - 455.813

Okay, yeah, I've wanted to do that. The reason why I haven't done that is because I also am a student, and to just help me.

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456.174 - 480.502 Dave Ramsey

Not anymore. Not anymore. Take some time off from being a student. Right now you're fighting a battle for one thing. So now what we're saying is we're going to borrow money so we can stay in school indirectly. And we're definitely not doing that. Someone is trying to take your son. Yeah, that's way more important than being a student. And avoiding debt is more important than being a student.

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480.782 - 490.793 Dr. John Deloney

I also think it could serve you in court to say, I had to stop doing these things because this person is dragging me and my child forward.

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490.773 - 520.628 Dave Ramsey

through the mud and so i had to stop going to school i had to stop doing this and take more work on to fund this these accusations or this this attempt to take my child from me and i'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep that from happening yeah and lean in on your lawyer and say i'm a guy makes 40 grand i don't have 15 grand growing on trees let's figure out what we can do to clip that that's a little rich so uh you know just fulfilling your lawyer's dreams is not one of my dreams so

520.608 - 550.436 Dave Ramsey

Oh, that's awful, Ben. I'm so sorry. Your face is sick for you. This is the Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. If you're a new listener and there are a bunch of you, a bunch of new viewers on YouTube and TBN and all over the place, all our numbers are up across the board, thank you for that.

551.017 - 564.116 Dave Ramsey

A lot of you are trying to figure out some of the inside lingo, like baby steps and debt snowballs and all that kind of stuff. is a simple way to do that. Just go to RamseySolutions.com, click Get Started, and we'll start walking you through the process.

564.436 - 582.637 Dave Ramsey

Matter of fact, we will show you with the Get Started process exactly where you are financially and what to do next, and help you with your plan, your journey, the whole bit. Click RamseySolutions.com, completely free. No salesman will call. Completely free. Chris is with us. Chris is in Lansing, Michigan. Hey, Chris, how are you?

584.159 - 612.563

Hi, Dave. Thank you for having me. Sure. I am on Baby Step 6 and I kind of have a two-part question. My job security isn't too great right now and I wanted to know, should I wait until I get a new job before I pay off my house? And if I didn't do that, what payments should I get rid of to work towards paying down my house?

Chapter 3: How does debt influence custody decisions?

641.298 - 653.656 Dave Ramsey

Okay. No way. Baby step six, we would tell you to keep living your life, and with money you find in your budget, you would pay extra on your house. It sounds like this job thing has got you rattled.

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655.559 - 657.722 Dave Ramsey

How long have you been working there?

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659.886 - 666.175

Well, it's my company, so for 20 years. And I have a business partner.

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668.483 - 672.968 Dave Ramsey

Okay. So you're not going to lose your job. You might lose your business is what you're saying.

673.008 - 703.923

Yes. If one of us doesn't leave and I'm the main contributor and it's not enough to support both of us. So slowly my income has gone way down to a point where I can't really afford to not to leave and he's not leaving. So I'm going to look for something different.

705.544 - 708.567 Dave Ramsey

What do you do?

708.587 - 710.428

Um, it's a marketing company.

711.789 - 713.911 Dr. John Deloney

Okay. Are you married to your business partner?

Chapter 4: What strategies can help in a custody battle?

972.622 - 992.98 Dr. John Deloney

Something I don't hear at home very often, but there you go. Dave, if you keep answering questions like this, you're going to turn this into a job. Yeah. Now. Right now. We get so stuck in just the day to the day that sometimes it just takes someone looking at you and be like, what are you doing? You can solve all of it. All of it. Just get trapped.

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993.882 - 1005.844 Dave Ramsey

But you do need... You really need people in your life, in your community that love you enough to go, I'm watching you do nothing, and I'm tired of it.

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1006.044 - 1012.315 Dr. John Deloney

There's that famous psychological study where they took the dogs, and you can do this study now, but they shocked them.

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1013.932 - 1036.564 Dr. John Deloney

they they didn't give them an opportunity to escape and they had other dogs that they would shock that they would allow to escape and over time they would take the barriers off the dogs that they were shocking the dogs just took it it was just learned helplessness this is the way this is going to be and it just you need somebody to go hey go go you can run and run away then they take off right just got to get somebody to look at you that's the fun thing so yeah

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1036.544 - 1055.153 Dave Ramsey

We all need that, though, because the fastest way, I mean, that's a classic frog in a kettle thing. I mean, the fastest way to boil a frog is turn it up one degree at a time, just a little bit at a time, gradual, gradual. Five years this has been deteriorating, and then you look up and you go, wait a minute, I'm boiling over here.

1056.435 - 1059.78 Dr. John Deloney

And this guy's doing nothing and still collecting half the revenue.

1059.82 - 1062.805 Dave Ramsey

Because I'm trapped in a really stupid partnership agreement. Hmm.

1063.021 - 1074.809 Dr. John Deloney

Hey, I hear this happen a lot. People have an imaginary amount of money they're going to make when they leave their job. How tightly do you tell somebody to hold on to that versus get something and then begin to maneuver?

1075.03 - 1077.155 Dave Ramsey

In this one, get something and then begin to maneuver.

Chapter 5: What are the benefits of communicating about debt in a marriage?

3395.775 - 3398.921 Dr. John Deloney

You had long hair when that started. Yeah, I did. I did.

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3399.982 - 3400.363

It all disappeared.

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3401.525 - 3406.395 Dave Ramsey

That's a lot of therapy without getting any. And Amber, what do you do for a living?

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3406.415 - 3409.241 Dr. John Deloney

I'm a reseller and I have a small YouTube channel.

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Chapter 6: How did the couple manage their debt and what strategies did they use?

3409.261 - 3411.486 Dave Ramsey

Oh, cool. What do you resell?

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3411.506 - 3414.272 Dr. John Deloney

Clothes and shoes and really anything and everything.

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3414.632 - 3417.158 Dave Ramsey

What do you do? eBay or Facebook Marketplace?

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Chapter 7: What lessons can be learned from sharing financial burdens?

3417.178 - 3419.803 Dr. John Deloney

eBay, Poshmark, Macari, Facebook Marketplace.

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3419.863 - 3421.727 Dave Ramsey

What's the most successful? Which platform?

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3422.585 - 3430.674 Dr. John Deloney

It varies. It changes depending on the season, the years. But eBay and Poshmark are pretty much the top two for me.

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3431.115 - 3439.264 Dave Ramsey

I've met people that are buying clothes at garage sales for $0.10 and selling them for $3 on eBay, and they're making $10,000 a month. I've met people doing that.

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Chapter 8: How can one overcome the fear of financial decisions after experiencing debt?

3439.284 - 3442.808 Dr. John Deloney

I was afraid when COVID hit that my sales would decrease.

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3443.088 - 3444.21 Dave Ramsey

They went up.

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3444.23 - 3447.453 Dr. John Deloney

They did because people didn't want to leave their homes, so online shopping.

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3447.594 - 3450.197 Dave Ramsey

Well, and they're bored. They're just sitting there dinging on buying stuff.

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3450.517 - 3450.617

Yeah.

3450.597 - 3460.06 Dr. John Deloney

They spend money, then they feel ashamed, so they call you. They call me, yeah. They talk about that. Got it figured out. And they got to get back up there. You guys got a racket.

3460.08 - 3464.792 Dave Ramsey

Well played, guys. Well played. All right. So what got y'all started on this two and a half years ago?

3465.734 - 3486.713 Dr. John Deloney

I shared with Corey how much debt we were in. When we first got married, I pretty much handled all of the money, and Corey kind of was just on the back burner. He just worked and just had his head down. When I finally shared how much debt we were in and he realized how much debt, we were like, we have to do something, and I found the seven baby steps, and we were like, this is it.

3487.233 - 3494.72 Dr. John Deloney

So as a mental health therapist, what was it like realizing, oh, we should probably communicate as a married couple?

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