Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we are here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined by Rachel Cruz. Here we are. Here we are. Back again.
We slapped up, flipped it, and reversed it, and I'm driving today, and we're here to help you make the next right move in your money, in your work, in your relationships, your life. Let's go out to Boston. To Boston and get a lager and talk to Derek. Let's see here. What's up, Derek? How we doing, brother? Hey, how we doing, team? We're good, man. What's up? Awesome, man.
Hey, so I've been watching you guys for a little while. Love, love the content. I am currently with my significant other. We've been together for three years. In the last three years, we've been able to overcome a lot of obstacles such as, you know, alcoholism and some addiction. And we're on the right path. We just had a baby.
But when it comes to finances, it seems that we have a hard time communicating and getting on the same page. So I love what you guys do. And I figured I'd give you a shout and just see, you know, if you could help point us in the right direction. Dude, that's fantastic, man. So tell me about, you said overcoming alcoholism. That's a bold statement, man. Tell me how y'all are working through that.
Honestly, it was just a decision. You know, one day I...
started with me i was just tired of the way life was going and uh you know had a lot of things that had happened that were just you know i guess would say rock bottom and very cool are you going to meetings every day i'm not but i will never touch it again i'm i'm it's been three years and i'm i'm in a good spot i'm proud of you man that's fantastic yeah it's amazing all right so when you come when you say it's hard to get on the same page with money tell me about that
Um, right now, uh, you know, because the baby, I am just sole income. Um, you know, she, she came into a little bit of money by selling some land. Um, I am the one that's paying for most of the bills and whatnot. And, uh, you know, she's paying down her debts. Um, but, uh, it's just, it's when I'm, you know, paying for most of the bills, it's been hard for me to build up my, my savings account.
Um, And so it's just figuring out how to navigate through this. It's tough, you know what I mean? You're not going to like the way I start this, okay? And so you can just ignore me, but I've got to say this. You're going to continue to struggle mightily in this area, especially now that y'all are linked forever because y'all created a human together.
until you decide to marry this person, y'all get married, and you decide that individually y'all's stuff is now y'all's stuff. Yeah, because the hard thing, Derek, is it's almost like you guys are playing house.
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Chapter 2: How do we overcome money issues related to addiction?
Is she going to go back to work or is she on maternity leave? What's her, um, what's her plan? Um, I, the, the plan as for right now is for me to be the sole income just because I do make a decent amount of money. Okay. Yeah.
So what, I mean, what I would say though, Derek is again, because of the situation, if I were her, almost if she had called in, I would tell her, girl, you got to go to work because he could wake up tomorrow and be like, I'm done. And then she's screwed. And there's no official marriage. So there's nothing the courts can do. There's no splitting assets.
There's nothing on her end that's protecting her. And so that scares me for her. So what I would say in a perfect world, she goes and gets a job. You're working. And if you guys choose to live together and not be married, you're splitting the bills 50-50. Because she has to learn how to support herself. Because if you end up walking out her, she's, she's up a Creek, you know?
And so I'm not saying you're going to do that. I hope you're not. But the fact that y'all haven't even talked about marriage, I'm like, and here's the second layer here, dude, is, um, she's just over there making her plans. So even your language, like, I guess I'm, I guess she's just going to stay at home. I get, here's what money does. It reveals what, what matters to y'all. To both of you.
And it also reveals your shared values. It reveals the path y'all have decided to take together. What you're scared of, your fears. Yeah, what freaks you out. And so maybe for you, money is revealing. I need some, I'm a dad now, man. I need some savings. to feel safe. And she might say, I'm a mom now. I've got this debt hanging over my head and this potential baby, or this baby's head.
All those things are part of the conversations you take, but it's deeper than, hey, I want to save some money. I want to pay this off. Well, I paid the light bill. That's only playing surface. The real conversations are you taking your arm and swiping it across the table and saying, I love you. We're linked forever now because we have a kid together.
Um, what kind of life do we want to build together? And then money is going to reveal the path. Do we want to get, let's get out of debt as quick as we can. Let's get some savings so that we can both exhale in this house. So this baby doesn't grow up in a house of tension. Let's decide, okay, we're going to stay at home. You're going to stay at home for a year, maybe two years.
We want to have a second kid, right? You see all these deeper values, conversations, money just reveals. It's just the, it's just the lights on the dashboard that are telling you where you're going and how, how good your car is. Yeah, makes sense. So if you sit down with her and say, how about this?
If I gave you the EveryDollar app, like the premium version, the best budgeting app, and you all sat down, could you all create something together? Absolutely. Okay. Would you have the courage to do the next right thing with her and say, I'm interested in, I know you got burned in a previous marriage, I'm interested in being in your life forever and in this baby's life forever? Yeah. Absolutely.
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Chapter 3: What challenges arise when merging finances with a partner?
So there's there's some you can do hard things. Yes. There's some elements here that are really, I think, great for you guys. I mean, it just shows that you guys can persevere, push through, but don't let those things also keep you stuck. Yeah, they can act like shadows. Like, oh, what about remember when? That's right. I mean, you've overcome. You're here. You've done amazing things.
Now we're going to take the next harder step, which in my opinion is y'all sit down and have a hard conversation about getting married and making this thing official so both of y'all can feel safe and then joining this thing and knocking out the debt and the savings together. Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens.
One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Zander is essential because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right.
You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long-term disability insurance. Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work.
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Go to RamseySolutions.com slash giveaway right now. to enter ramsaysolutions.com slash giveaway you do not have to buy anything to be able to win let's go to austin texas to the 512 and talk to sam what up sam hi how's it going good brother how are you man living the dream out here living the dream very cool y'all recovered from that f1 trip that was a wild weekend huh F1 trip?
I don't... It's been a team weekend here. I'm not sure. Oh, good. I think a few weeks ago, there was that F1, like, five million people showed up in Austin, Texas. Wild, dude. Oh, yeah, I know. We're a little bit on the outskirts, so... Oh, very good. Well done. Well done. All right, so what's up, brother?
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Chapter 4: How can we address financial infidelity in a relationship?
You've seen marriage go awful. And so you're hesitant to jump into that. What I would tell you is that's like going to the gym and seeing somebody lifting weights, seeing a whole bunch of people lifting weights. Maybe you went to one of the original CrossFit gyms and everybody's getting hurt. That doesn't mean that exercise is bad. In fact, exercise is really, really important.
What then becomes important is I got to learn how to do this well and do this right and do this safely over the long haul. And so if you look at the marriage on data, there's a reason Jeff Bezos is getting remarried.
There's a reason why the people who are running these massive, that's why they all go do it, is because it has deep, powerful benefits that are spiritual, that are emotional, that are financial, that are sexual. It's got all of it. It's incredible if you make the decision to go all in and learn those skills that your parents didn't have.
And avoiding it or trying to do a hack around it, which is we're just going to do everything but that, that actually is going to set you up to get you into more trouble down the road, not less. Statistics are worse what you guys are doing. But, dude, your fear is real, honest. It's wired into your nervous system, man. You've got a picture of a car wreck. That doesn't mean you never drive again.
That means you go sit with a professional. That means you learn how to drive really, really well defensively and safely so that you can drive for the long haul. Because, too, Sam, I'm sure you guys want to start a family, right? I mean, you would love to have kids with her, I would assume. Yeah. Yeah, we're not so certain about that. Okay, never mind. Jeez, Rachel. Relax.
Yeah, I was going to say. Kids are great. I don't know. Hey, you're here because somebody had kids, but you called just for the budgeting part. How old are you guys? Yeah, how old are you? I just turned 29. She's going to be 28 here in a second. Okay. Yeah. The best thing I can tell you to do is to have a deeper conversation about facing that fear. Okay.
Your anxiety when it comes to getting married is real, and it's earned, and I honor that. And I'll tell you, every bit of data says if you will go in and do the hard work of having a good or great marriage, everything in your life is better. Gotcha. Okay. Well, I appreciate it, guys. You're the man. Appreciate you, brother. We wish you the best.
And if you want to come down here to Nashville and get married, there is a Petal Tavern waiting for you and all of your friends because this is where everybody comes before they get married. Did you get a Petal Tavern, Rachel? No. I was married 15, 16 years ago. They didn't have those here. Oh, they didn't? No. Oh, they had horse and carriages and all that stuff back then. That's a long time ago.
The horses drove the carriages. Oh, man. Not just a bunch of people. Man, Sam. I'd like for y'all to have kids. I don't know. They're going to. After you get married. I like Sam. Sam's a real deal. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Thank you. If you've listened to me for more than five minutes, you know that being normal with your money is not a good thing because normal is broke.
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Chapter 5: What mortgage solutions does Churchill offer?
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Chapter 6: How can I effectively manage my emergency fund?
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Chapter 7: What strategies can I use to pay off debt effectively?
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Chapter 8: What advice is given for managing financial anxiety?
Hi, my name is Kelly. Thank you so much for taking my call. Of course, thank you for calling. Absolutely. So I was calling because my husband and I are just starting out. We're on step one. Oh, you're new to the gang, new to the cult. We're going to send you a ladle so you can drink the Kool-Aid. Welcome. We're super excited, though. We're glad you're here. Thank you.
Okay, so my primary question is I have about $9,000 in my 403B from work. I have roughly just under $16,000 in a traditional – forgive me, my husband's mowing outside the window. Yes, he should be, right, Kelly? Yeah. Just under $16,000 in a traditional IRA. IRA. And then we have just a little bit, it's under $1,000 in a money market. Perfect, okay.
But we're trying to figure out, do we use the money market for step one? Or do we pull that out and put it into a savings account? Or do we start a completely different savings account for that? Or I guess I just don't know what to do. Yes, well, yeah, the $1,000 baby step one, that's perfect. You can do a money market account, right?
More recently, high-yield savings accounts are doing really well too. I mean, your emergency fund is not a place to go and try to find the best interest rate because this money's purpose is not to make money. It is to be just a safety net. But if you can get a better rate, but usually money market accounts, high-yield savings accounts kind of are in the general same ballpark area.
So I would leave that alone and then focus on paying off the debt. And that money will come from Cutting expenses and working extra, selling stuff, any way you can get creative, but we don't want to cash out any of the retirements because you will not only pay taxes, but also penalties and fees and all of that because, are you guys 59 and a half? I guess I should ask that, but-
Well, my husband is 71, and I am 48. Okay, perfect. Yeah, I still would just keep everything there because it's growing, and even though you wouldn't get hit with penalties and stuff, I would just keep it as retirement, and you guys pull it out as you need when that time comes. But then how much debt is there? We have $240,000 on our mortgage. We have – hold on, let me look.
Sorry, I'm just looking at my – Every dollar app here. You went all in, Kelly. Every dollar at all. You're swimming in the Kool-Aid. I have an interview for a second job on Monday. Look at you guys. You're taking Kool-Aid shots. You're in. We have $1,500 that we owe to the IRS. We have about $2,000 on a personal loan for heating and air conditioning.
And then we have a credit card that's $14,300. Okay. And that's it? And then $65,000 in student loans for I'm a nurse. Okay. Okay. Perfect. No car payments? Correct. Okay. Great. We own the two we have, free and clear. Okay. Awesome. Yep. So, well, you listed them out, smallest to largest. I'm assuming you know about the debt snowball as you're paying off the smallest.
And the IRS, regardless of the amount, gets bumped up to the front. You pay that off first and foremost. And then how much do you guys make a year? It's $106. I think it was $110. Okay. Is your husband retired or is he working? He is retired.
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