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Chapter 1: What should I do if my fiancée's father unfairly put a lien on her car?
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I'm going to start off this hour with Michael. He is in Roanoke, Virginia. Hi, Michael. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hey, Dave. How are you guys? Great, man. What's up? Hey, so I'll kind of get straight to it. So me and my fiance have been having some discussions about a car she was gifted when she graduated. Her stepmother had talked her dad into putting a lien on the car for about $10,000, and And it's been about five years now and we're starting to run into some problems with the car.
Um, and since those, uh, in the last two years, her dad and step-mom have moved and have not given any addresses, haven't been in any contact, haven't gotten any responses to texts or calls.
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Chapter 2: How can I save for retirement with an irregular income?
Um, so don't really know what to do as far with the car. Uh, I would say it's probably getting into the point where it's starting to get under that 10,000 value. So we're trying to think of if it's worth just running it until the wheels fall off and dropping it off in their driveway if we can find it, or really what to do.
So why the disconnect? Why these people took off and nobody knows where they are?
Honestly, I think it's, you know, she had a really good relationship with her dad. And she's got two or three other brothers and sisters that also did. And then when this new lady came in about... say four years ago, five years ago. She's kind of been more controlling. He works with her now after he was retired.
It's kind of like when she was on the phone with him before, it had to be on speakerphone. She was in the background always talking. He can never have one-on-one time with his kids, practically. So it's been kind of a mess.
Chapter 3: Is it wise to pull money from stocks to pay off my house?
It's hurt her a lot because they were very close when she was living with them and then after college and things, but it's kind of just
disappear off the face of the earth um just to as a point of clarification he could have talked to his kids but he chose not to yeah and that is focusing all this energy on we hate her hate stepmom she's the worst this lady this lady this lady that's misdirected grief the grief is dad has chosen a different life that doesn't include us and that hurts like the like the pit of hell
and we've got to deal with that, right? That doesn't help your car situation, but that's where the grief has to start. And when dad moves away and doesn't even tell you where he is, that's a very clear behavior as a language. That's a very clear statement. I don't want you in my life, and that hurts, man.
Yeah, absolutely. She's been very hurt by it, and it's kind of caught her off guard, I believe, too. Sure.
Any dad that leaves his daughter, you know, that should catch everybody off guard. That's not how it should be.
You can only control what you can control. You can't control what he does.
Okay, let me give you some husband advice.
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Chapter 4: What are the best strategies for getting out of debt?
I'll turn it over to Dave. Don't ever say that to her. Just hold her hand and say, this hurts and I'm sorry. All right. Okay, there you go.
And it's her dad's fault, not her stepmother's fault. He chose. He chose. You can't blame the other person. Talked him into it. He got talked into it. He chose. He made a conscious choice. Now, I assume this is in the state of Virginia.
Yes.
Chapter 5: Should I use my emergency fund to pay off my house?
Okay. Different states handle car liens different ways. In our state, the lien has to be actually written on the car title. Do you guys hold a physical title that has a lien written on it? Yes, sir. Okay. All right. Well, what I would do is contact an attorney and see. I'll give you a guess. This is going to cost you $1,000, but it's less than $10,000.
And I would see if there's not some sort of motion to be filed before the court that removes this lien. Okay. It just says this lien was placed by a father just to control the car after he gave it as a gift. He's disappeared. We can't find him to get the lien released.
Chapter 6: How can I avoid feeling embarrassed about living below my means?
There was never any financial transfer. It was a control mechanism, and we're asking for the judge to remove the lien.
clean the title okay and i think i'm almost positive there'll be some sort of legal motion that can be done and hopefully it's a a small claims court thing since it's ten thousand dollars okay and it's not it's not a super expensive thing but you know i i would think you're going to spend a thousand dollars to do that uh your only other option is um if you want to save the thousand dollars is go find this guy
And show up. Okay. And show up. Because y'all kind of know where he is. She's just hurt, but he works for her. She has a business. You know what that is. You can find that business. You can find this duper. And just show up and go, hey, duper, you need to release this. You already hurt your daughter. You've crushed her with your abandonment.
Chapter 7: What advice do you have for managing unexpected income?
And you need to sign this. And I'm her husband here telling you, you need to sign this now. And if you don't, I'm going to drag your horrible butt into court and embarrass you. So I'm going to act as the angry husband if I'm you. Okay. Don't shoot anybody. That's not what I said. Okay.
Dave, did you hear this guy?
He was like, all right.
I can do this.
But you don't need to involve her, and this is not about trying to repair their relationship, and you don't need to take her along.
This is business now.
And this has got nothing to do with the stepmother. You need a signature from a doofus that should have been a better dad.
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Chapter 8: How do I effectively budget and manage my finances?
That's all you need. And I'm going to go save $1,000. I'm going to go drive over there because, dude, you can find him. I promise you. I can tell by the way the story went down. Y'all actually know. You just haven't chased him.
I often tell folks there's a moment when you stop being my father-in-law and you start being the man who keeps making my wife cry. And when that switch flips, now we're having a different conversation. Dave, help me here. I'm ignorant. What does that mean that you can just put a lien on something like that?
Well, I mean, if you have a car title, you can write on there a lien. Just take your car title, flip it over on the back. In most states, there's a place for the lien holder. And that's where the bank writes a lien on there. And then the bank, typically, if you do it with a bank, right, or a car company that has car payments, they'll hold the title. They keep the title physically.
But in this case, Michael has the physical title. It just has written on it. And you can't take it down and transfer it because it has written on it a lien, and that lien has to be released. Until $10,000. What does that mean? Well, no. I mean, he just made up a number and put it on there. The dad did. To control the car. He wanted to make sure the car didn't get sold without his permission.
That's what he was doing. Okay. There was no actual transfer of cash here. He didn't loan them $10,000. He gave her a car, and then the stepmother goes, ah, she's just going to go sell it and run off with some boy. And he goes, okay, I'll just put a lien on it.
He put a leash and a dog collar on his daughter. Exactly. And said, you tell me thank you for that.
Exactly. Wow, what a jerk. And then took off to the mountains. And we're going to go find a boy child. This is The Ramsey Show. Thanks for joining us, America. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. John, it's been about a year since Own Your Past, Change Your Future hit the shelves.
That's right. Since it was published, I got tons of calls from people asking me for private sessions and could we just talk for an hour or two. And obviously, I can't meet one-on-one with every single person. It's not possible. But that's why I wrote Own Your Past, Change Your Future. Think of us sitting across from one another having a conversation.
The book offers practical advice and encouragement on topics like relationship, overcoming past hurts, and healing from traumas. And as you read through each section, I'll show you how to learn from what happened in your past so you can go create this new life. And listen, for the first time ever, We're including it in the $10 sale. But you've got to hurry. The sale ends in one week.
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