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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I am your host, Jade Warshaw. I'm here with one of my favorite guys. Dr. John Deloney. What's up? He's the co-host today. He's here to take all your questions on just overall wellness. I'm here for the money side.
He's got you on the relational side. And give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. John, I feel like it's a minute since you and I have flown this plane.
I know. I miss you, man. You doing okay?
I'm doing good. Let me tell you. We posted that post on social media this morning and it went, it's gone bananas.
Is it spun up?
Man.
Oh, that was the one about folks taking out just wild town loans for cars.
Cars.
$2,500 a month payments.
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Chapter 2: How can I set boundaries with my family about money?
Um, he owns three houses and they are all in his name. Um, he had one house, um, before we were engaged, but he has since purchased two other homes. Um, neither of which are, I am on the title. Um, I drive a car that's in his name. My phone is in his name. I have absolutely nothing in my name. And in addition to that, he will not be transparent.
With me, like if something were to happen to him, like he won't show me the will. I'm just becoming really insecure, I guess, in my relationship, but in my financial situation as well. And I'm just...
don't know what to do at this stage you don't want to be like i'm very in the dark you are in the dark you are in the dark i'm insecure for you me too go ahead john how can we help i don't know what you're asking if you were my sister i would tell you to pack up everything you have and go get an attorney today it's been eight years you're not married yet you're still engaged
We are not married.
We are... But Colorado is a common law state. But it's also... Jeez. It's a mess. This is an absolute stone mess. I... Yeah, how can I help you? What are you looking for?
Well, I'm just wondering, I mean, if I were to leave the relationship, basically, I'm...
guessing i am not entitled to anything but perhaps child support i think i i'm not a legal expert so i can't give you legal advice but i think that's that's that's wildly inaccurate I think after a certain time, again, don't hold me to this, check with a licensed attorney in your state.
But I think once after you pass a certain point, there's property that y'all earned, quote unquote, together, whether you were putting money in the pot or not, because the house doesn't run without you, right? And so that allowed somebody to go earn some money. But sit with an attorney and work through all that.
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What should I do if I'm worried about my financial future?
That is absolutely for sure.
And the beauty of that is once you take ownership of that next steps on you too.
Okay.
Go call an attorney. You got it. Oh yeah, man. We love you. Call anytime we can help, but call an attorney and get that process going.
My goodness. I'm almost glad that we're going to a break because this is the third time in a very short period today that I've just heard and been on calls where men are tripping. Yeah. And I want to go. I want to go so hard in the paint right now, but I can't. But I just need these guys to get in line and understand that they need to love their families well and they need to do better.
This is The Ramsey Show. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw. This is Dr. John Deloney over to my right. If you're listening, he is the other voice that you will be hearing. John, you know, we just had a call before the break and I felt for, you know, my girl who called in because her dude was just way off. To be together for eight years, common law marriage.
I mean... Under the law, that's what it is. She's got as much entitlement to everything as if they were married, but he won't put her name on anything. He won't let her know where the will is. He won't let her be involved in conversations regarding money and the things that honestly directly affect her life.
And I was kind of getting pissed because I just feel like I'm hearing that more and more. Had the privilege of coaching some folks earlier this week. And I keep hearing the same story over and over where couples are so divided with their money. They're so divided with their finances. And. Maybe I'm old school. Maybe I'm going to get canceled. I don't know.
But where I come from, one plus one doesn't equal two. It equals one. And you got to be on the same page when it comes to these finances. And I'm so tired. Like, I'm going to just say it. If Sam Warshaw, let me put it in terms that I can say. If Sam Warshaw said to me, hey, don't forget to Venmo me your half of the rent. You would never see him again.
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Chapter 4: Am I entitled to anything if we break up?
Yeah. Right?
I'm taking my truck and going home. I'm sick of a generation of grown men who that's their role in the world.
Yeah.
This is my house. This is my money. Oh, gosh. Man. It's just not a way to live. It's not a way to live.
Jade Warshaw, I live in that way. I'll tell you that right now. And I just, you know, I get it. Like when we talk about combining finances, I think it's important to say combining finances is rarely a light switch. Like it's not just like I go home, I have one conversation, boom, we're on the same page. I think it is worth noting and affirming that for many couples, like this is a journey.
Like this is a mini conversation. Yes, but there is that line where there is a clear...
uh disrespect that's taking place or there's like a clear wow you completely don't value me at all and you're treating me that way or you're very confused as to what it looks like to value somebody in the relationship and value them in an equal part yeah and i think that's the part that's just guys it burns me up um it just burns me up uh not even an equal part i have to value more than myself
Yes, that's what I was saying before. I have to value more.
You want to quote unquote lead, then you get on the bottom and you carry the whole thing.
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Chapter 5: What financial details are shared about the caller's situation?
I'm sorry? What are you earning? Take home is about $2,600 a month.
Okay. Do you have any other debt?
No.
Okay. What's your living situation?
I'm currently running an apartment with a roommate.
Roommates? Okay, so what are you paying in rent every month?
With utilities, $5.50.
$5.50? Okay, good. Okay, good news is your rent is in a good spot. What else do you have? No car payment, nothing like that, right?
No.
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Chapter 6: How can the caller manage their debt effectively?
Okay. And then does your job take out insurance and everything like that? Do you have that benefit?
Yeah.
Okay. So what else are you, what, what's another big expenditure that you have going out every month?
It's just the minimum payments for the, uh, the student loans.
Okay, so they're all broken up. How many are there?
Well, there's four private and the federal loan. So I'm paying $1,212 every month towards the private loan and about $250 for the federal. Okay. Okay.
Jay, the big elephant in the room here is I don't see a possible way forward with him only making $31,000 a year.
Yeah, he's got to get his income up.
Bro, what's your end goal here? You quit being an engineer to get a biochem degree. You're obviously a smart young man. What's the goal here?
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Chapter 7: What advice is given about the housing market?
And I know it won't have the prestige of going into a hospital and being a lab tech, but, bro, you are broke. And I'm saying that because I love you, right? I mean, you can't eat. $200, I mean, that's... I went to Chick-fil-A the other day and it was like $19. I mean, it's out of this world expensive to exist. You just can't do that on 31.
So whatever you want to do down the road, man, I'm all for you. I want you to go to med school if that's what you want to do or PA school or chem school if you can get a master's in chemistry, whatever it is, I'm all for it. But right now you can't eat, dude. And that means you're going to have to break some hearts and everyone's going to be like, oh my gosh, you got these degrees and they didn't.
Yeah, right now I got to go make a bunch of money.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. You're calling us. I wish I could just be like, all right, Jade and I, we bestow it upon you. I mean, you just got to work and go earn that money. And $31,000 annually is a big math problem. You're digging a swimming pool with a spoon, brother.
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Chapter 8: How can the caller increase their income to improve their situation?
Yeah, makes sense.
What would that look like? I mean, real talk, what does that look like for you? Is this just a matter of applying for different jobs? Did you kind of apply for one, you got it, and that was good enough?
Well, yeah, I was applying for... Because I graduated in December of 22, and I was applying for about six months, and I was working that entire time, too. But, yeah, I finally got this job in June of last year, and... I've still been looking for other stuff that pays higher, but it's, yeah, I can't.
Can you, can you work four hours before your shift, um, from, uh, in shipping and then after you get off your shift, can you work another four hours as an orderly? I know those are two positions that are hard to find in hospitals, or can you go over and work in the gift shop or in the I understand that draw to be in that ecosystem. You worked hard to get in there.
This is what you're passionate about. It's just not paying the bills. The other alternative is I'm going to cobble together a couple of two or three jobs inside this system. By the way, in five years, when you've earned some more money and paid this stuff off, you'll know how a hospital works. That will set you up for whatever you want to do next.
There's not a way that you're going to get through this without a lot of pain and a lot of sacrifice. Either going to work at McDonald's, and then working at Subway at night, and then loading Bosca's at Walmart overnight, or doing a whole bunch of jobs at the hospital.
Yeah. Your goal right now should be to 3X this.
Yeah, 3X. Okay. And people are going to say, oh, just go make $90,000. No, we know they're not handing out $90,000 jobs. This means you're just going to work seven days a week, 12 hours a day for a couple of years.
Piecing together some jobs.
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