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The Ramsey Show

This Is How You Set Yourself Up for Success!

12 Jan 2024

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

30.254 - 53.099 George Campbell

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Campbell, joined by best-selling author and great dad, Dr. John Deloney. And we are here for you, America, taking your calls about whatever you want to talk about, mental health, wellness, money, relationships.

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53.4 - 70.922 George Campbell

It all happens right here on The Ramsey Show. Well, John, we had a really great live stream last night. Hundreds of thousands of people tuned in to break free from the cycles of stress and money. And I hope they felt helped last night. And you did a great job. Yeah. And you did a good job, too. Thank you.

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71.002 - 78.592 Dr. John Deloney

It's fantastic, man. Hey, and more importantly, you got my text about, hey, bro, let's both wear green shirts on the show so we look exactly the same.

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78.672 - 95.657 George Campbell

It's what we do. And my barber said that he saw you yesterday. I like how you've taken ownership over the guy who cuts my hair, too. There you go. Well, before we get to the calls, John, I want to remind people it is their last chance to pre-order my new book, Breaking Free from Broke. This is the last weekend. It's launching. It is actually launching next week.

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95.977 - 111.14 George Campbell

It's the ultimate guide to more money and less stress. And if you order by January 15th at midnight, you'll get all of the $100 in bonus items, the e-book, the audio book, a video talk I did, exclusive access to an online event, and more. So $20 to pre-order, and you'll get $100 worth of stuff.

111.16 - 122.379 Dr. John Deloney

I saw it last night. People were... One of our managers was watching our different book sales, and your Breaking Free from Broke was far outpacing mine.

122.459 - 127.449 George Campbell

Well, the event is called Break the Cycle, so I think people thought, this has got to have to do something with this.

127.589 - 132.519 Dr. John Deloney

I think everybody got done with Christmas, and they realized, I can't keep doing this.

132.559 - 149.005 George Campbell

The financial hangover is here. Right. So I think this book's going to help you reach those money goals. Absolutely. So check it out, ramsaysolutions.com slash store. Pre-order by January 15th. Guys, this is your last weekend to do it. Appreciate everyone who's done it so far. Kelly kicks us off in Raleigh, North Carolina. Kelly, what's going on?

Chapter 2: How can I support a friend struggling with finances?

488.548 - 491.393 George Campbell

So it just depends on the relationship and the trust that you guys have built.

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491.413 - 507.036 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah, and I think that's an important call-out, George, and I'll end the call with this. There is moments in my friends' lives, and they have done it to me when I step in very directly. And I have to know that I might burn the relationship for a season, but I can't continue to watch somebody hurt themselves.

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507.056 - 527.496 Dr. John Deloney

So if somebody's struggling with alcohol, if somebody's struggling with self-harm or they're considering dying by suicide, I get square in the middle of that. One of my buddies was actively cheating on his spouse. I'm getting right in the middle of that. So similarly, if you feel this is the moment and it might burn everything, at least you'll know I did the best I could to save your life.

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534.142 - 553.773 George Campbell

Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by Dr. John Deloney. It's a free call at 888-825-5225. Be brave, tap on those numbers, and jump on the line, and we'll talk about your life, your money, and your relationships. Next up, we've got Marshall in Oklahoma City. Marshall, what's going on?

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555.075 - 574.71

Hey, George. Hey, John. Excited to join the show. I had a question about Just one of the things that I'm going through right now, before this, I was paid off on all the consumer debt that we had, student loans, cars, bought a house. Everything was great. Didn't really know the Ramsey show that much, heard about it.

575.471 - 599.036

We bought her new car in cash, and then my car, I thought I got the deal of the century at 0% in 2022. But as you know, it depreciates immediately. Just like John points out the alarm bell sound. Now that I'm back in debt, didn't want to be back in debt. Basically we're about three months away from paying off the car. So excited, excited to say that.

599.216 - 619.981

But the real question is, do I wipe out the entire, uh, cash that we have and throw that out the car in three months when we're able to do that? Or with it being at 0%, can we wait a few months so that way we build up that cushion so when we do wipe it out, we're already starting baby step three.

621.082 - 622.364 George Campbell

So what's left on the car loan?

623.586 - 629.854

The loan is $42,000, and we currently have about $36,000 in the bank.

Chapter 3: What should I consider when talking to a friend about their financial habits?

634.28 - 644.248 Dr. John Deloney

But you're going to earn $42,000 in three months to pay it off? No, we'd have $36,000 in the bank. I know, but you just said you're about three months away from paying it off.

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645.671 - 653.006

Right, so we would be earning about $6,000 to pay that off probably by late March, April-ish.

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653.146 - 657.535 Dr. John Deloney

You're saying if you wiped out all of your savings, then you'd only have about three months left.

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659.033 - 678.799

Right. If I did it today or if I even did it three months from now, I have the $1,000. But with it being 0% interest, I was curious your thoughts of maybe waiting until June or July. I want it gone. The alarm bells are sounding, but I also don't want to have that alarm bell sounding.

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678.919 - 679.861 George Campbell

What's your household income?

679.881 - 684.687

Why don't you sell it, dude? It is $100K after taxes. Okay.

685.139 - 690.645 George Campbell

After taxes. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's a lot of car. What's your other car worth?

692.467 - 694.769

The other car is worth about $55,000.

694.969 - 704.9 George Campbell

Sell it. Goodness gracious. Sell it. You guys have way too much car. Yeah. Are you guys just car obsessed? Is this a luxury vehicle?

Chapter 4: How can I help a loved one in financial distress?

1320.033 - 1327.54 George Campbell

Even if you're not the nerd, you don't want to have to be the one whittling the budget down. John needs to know what's happening in their budget. Correct.

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1327.56 - 1351.104 Dr. John Deloney

And so this has to be called out for what it is. He has been lying and cheating on you for 30 years. Anything less than that bold of a statement is watering it down and patting you on the head and saying, oh, sweetie, you'll be fine. Because, honey, you are not fine. The numbers you just laid out here are terrifying. He has been lying and cheating on you for 30 years.

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1351.625 - 1373.942 Dr. John Deloney

And you have played your part by looking the other way and never asking a question because the vacation time just showed up and the presents just showed up and the bills just magically got whatever. There's no way this has happened that you haven't had some inkling that things were off. Things were off. Now again, if he's abusive, emotionally abusive, this has been unsafe.

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1373.962 - 1395.779 Dr. John Deloney

It's not a matter of you turning your head. It's a matter of you laying low so you don't get your head knocked off. Totally different situation. But if you both have just been puttering along, then you both have to be part of the ownership here. your husband's going to have to get down on both knees and say, I'm sorry. I have lied to you. I have stolen from our future. I have cheated you.

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1395.839 - 1416.217 Dr. John Deloney

Will you still keep me around? And you're going to have to say, I'm sorry that I let this thing go on for 30 freaking years. Anything short of that, George, is them playing. They're playing patty cake. They're playing cleanup and there's not going to be any way to get out of this thing. Their marriage isn't going to survive it. Their finances sure aren't going to survive it.

1416.297 - 1421.145 Dr. John Deloney

They are broke, broke, broke, broke, broke, broke, scary, broke for their age.

1421.277 - 1435.768 George Campbell

Yeah, that's step one. If and when you get to that point where you've had that conversation to come to Jesus meeting and it goes well, then we can start attacking the debt and pay down this $130,000 with a six-figure salary. You should be able to do that in two to three years if you're not doing anything else.

1435.948 - 1448.695 Dr. John Deloney

Oh, there's no six-figure salary anymore. he got bought out, and then he blew it. So now she works full-time, and he does contract work. Contract works over. Now he's going to work three jobs. That's right. He's going to work three jobs.

1449.556 - 1465.999 George Campbell

We need to get back to a six-figure salary if we're going to have any hope of cleaning this up and retiring one day, because he also depleted the retirement account down to almost nothing. So you're going to have to rebuild that. So retirement, it's not even in your vocabulary for the next decade. You guys are going to be working, working, working,

Chapter 5: How can I help my dad who is struggling financially?

3449.231 - 3466.467 Dr. John Deloney

Okay. Number one, you are not your dad. Part of him is inside of you, right? But you're not him. Y'all are different people, different experiences, different life, and all that kind of stuff. So you can feel like, no, I know what he's going through. You don't, okay? That's number one.

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3467.128 - 3481.984 Dr. John Deloney

And hold that very loosely because if something happens to him and you start trying to get into his head inside of his body and say, no, I know, I know, it really shuts off a dialogue between two people, okay? So he's his own man, and you are too.

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Chapter 6: What is the importance of setting boundaries in family relationships?

3482.084 - 3501.956 Dr. John Deloney

You might have some similar traits. Y'all might have some very similar whatever. Half of him is you, but there we go. Here's number two. I'm going to walk you through like how you can love your old man right now, but quote unquote, handling the burden is not your job. You're his son. Okay.

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3502.697 - 3510.368 Dr. John Deloney

And if you walk into this as he's a project, he'll smell it a hundred thousand miles away and you'll never get close.

0
0

3511.149 - 3517.138 Dr. John Deloney

If you decide, dad, you're 59 years old and I want to start spending some time with you.

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Chapter 7: How do I approach difficult conversations about money?

3519.346 - 3538.835 Dr. John Deloney

I love you, and I don't even know you that well. Could we start going to coffee once a month? Could we start fill-in-the-blank? Could we do this? I want you in my life. If you have that conversation with him, now we've got a whole different ballgame. Okay. But if you go into it as he's a project and I've got to go save him, unless he is going to hurt himself, right?

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3538.875 - 3543.201 Dr. John Deloney

If he is suicidal, then yeah, I'm getting all in that mess, right?

0

3543.562 - 3547.227

But short of that... It's more he...

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Chapter 8: What are the key takeaways for managing personal finances effectively?

3548.219 - 3557.113

goes through the motions and he mopes around and he commits financial infidelity, stuff like that is what he's struggling with.

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3557.414 - 3567.009 Dr. John Deloney

So if you come after your dad with, hey, I heard you're cheating on mom with your money and stuff like that's not going to go well. Okay. When's the last time you said, hey, man, I'd love to just start doing something regular with you?

0

3568.872 - 3571.156

Probably never. Exactly.

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3571.396 - 3594.56 Dr. John Deloney

And hey, here's what's really scary about this. He might look at you and tell you no. That's a possibility. Hey, Dad, I'd love to have like a weekly coffee with you. I'll go into work late, and I just want to hang out. What? Why? Why? Dad, because you're my dad, and I miss hanging out. And I want to hear some stories. I want to get your take on what's happening in the world.

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3594.62 - 3613.897 Dr. John Deloney

And you need to get out of the house. Mom needs a break from you. And you pay for the coffee every time. You pay for the breakfast every time. You want to meet once a week, and he might tell you no. And then maybe at that point you say, I love you. And I want you to be around for a long time. And I sure would love to hang out with you.

3614.979 - 3619.604

Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard him tell anyone he loves them.

3620.706 - 3622.108 Dr. John Deloney

When's the last time anybody told him?

3623.85 - 3626.293

That's, I don't know.

3626.974 - 3632.401 Dr. John Deloney

I mean, I've never done it either. Okay. Today's going to be the day. Tomorrow's going to be the day.

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