Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Libraries Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

The Ramsey Show

What Happens When Parents Misbehave

31 Oct 2023

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

28.043 - 57.426 Dave Ramsey

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth. do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Jade Walsh, our Ramsey personality, is my co-host today as we answer your questions about your life and your money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Ariana is with us in Portland, Oregon to start off this hour.

0

57.827 - 58.848 Dave Ramsey

Hey, Ariana, how are you?

0

Chapter 2: How does a spouse's spending impact family finances?

59.849 - 60.61

Good, how are you?

0

60.93 - 62.552 Dave Ramsey

Better than I deserve. What's up?

0

63.873 - 80.842

I am trying to... Figure out how I can get my husband on the same page with his out-of-control spending so that we can have an emergency fund to fall on and pay off some of our debts that we have.

0

80.882 - 85.829 Dave Ramsey

Hmm. Well, what is his out-of-control spending? What do you mean?

0

85.849 - 93.459 Jade Warshaw

My husband spends over $1,000 a month just on phone games. Oh.

93.859 - 95.361 Dave Ramsey

Phone games? Yes.

95.729 - 99.114

Like Candy Crush? Yeah, on his iPhone.

Chapter 3: What are the signs of addictive spending behavior?

99.134 - 106.345

Oh, wow. Yes, and I found out by looking at our statements.

0

108.388 - 112.194 Dave Ramsey

When you say that out loud, does it sound as crazy to you as it does to me?

0
0

114.397 - 125.213 Dave Ramsey

Like this is like illness level. I'm sorry, you cut out, honey. What did you say?

0

127.387 - 128.388

Uh-oh. Thousand.

129.21 - 130.151 Dave Ramsey

You're cutting in and out.

Chapter 4: How should one approach a spouse about financial issues?

130.491 - 131.112 Dave Ramsey

He spent what?

0
0

133.415 - 146.254 Dave Ramsey

Last year. Yeah, and what's your household income? Apparently your phone has not been paid. I can't.

0

146.274 - 147.075

Oh, you're back again.

0

147.115 - 151.18 Dave Ramsey

We're losing most of your phone here. Okay, so what is your household income?

151.2 - 153.023

$83,000.

153.526 - 163.099 Dave Ramsey

$83,000. Okay. Are you somewhere where you can walk and get a better signal maybe? Because we're losing you about every third word. All right. $85,000. How old is your husband?

164.361 - 164.601

29.

164.741 - 178.3 Jade Warshaw

Okay. All right. I have a question. We have a four-year-old daughter. I have a question. It's just what I'm wondering. Something tells me this is not the only thing he's overspending on. What else is he spending crazy money on?

Chapter 5: What financial concerns does Addie have about buying a house?

3338.702 - 3359.217 Dave Ramsey

You're the answer. Knowledge is the currency, boys and girls, not degrees. This is the Ramsey Show. Jade Walsh, all Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. The Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services.

0

3359.337 - 3374.781 Dave Ramsey

Neighborly is one place that brings together a nationwide family of locally operated providers to help you take care of repairs, routine maintenance, or home improvements. Go to Neighborly.com slash Ramsey today and start your search.

0

3374.98 - 3398.435 Jade Warshaw

All right. Today's question comes from Addie in Oklahoma. She says, I'm writing because I have a bit of doubt about this situation. My mom wants to be a cosigner for me to be able to buy a property through an FHA loan since I will be a first time home buyer. I will be living in the property, but it will be divided and the other side will be rented. I was pre-approved for $325,000.

0

3400.398 - 3411.614 Jade Warshaw

My mom and the realtor we are working with are telling me that we have to put offers on properties at full asking price, but I'm concerned about this. I'm 23 years old.

0

Chapter 6: What red flags should Addie consider before making a home purchase?

3412.075 - 3437.562 Jade Warshaw

I only make $36,000 a year as a medical assistant and currently owe $10,000 on student loans. Should I wait before I make such a big investment? Yes." Yes, yes, yes. Okay, let's look at some red flags here. Number one, you make $36,000 a year. That's quite low.

0

3437.923 - 3439.767 Dave Ramsey

That's half of the national average.

0

3440.405 - 3458.31 Jade Warshaw

That's quite, quite low. And you're wanting to buy a quarter of a million dollar house, over a quarter million dollar house, $325,000. The reason you feel nervous and the reason that you feel like you can't breathe because it's literally, like John Delaney would say, it's your body telling you there's something wrong. And when there's something wrong, don't ignore it. Let's look at what's wrong.

0

3458.35 - 3465.72 Jade Warshaw

And you can see what the problem is here. You understand that the only way that you're getting this loan is your mom would be signing for it.

0

Chapter 7: How can Addie assert her independence from her mother's influence?

3465.74 - 3490.476 Jade Warshaw

That means... If you can't get a loan on your own, it means that all of the loan companies know this is a bad idea. You can't pay. And the only way that we mitigate some of this risk is we bring on someone who we think might be able to pay when you won't be able to make the payment. And in that case, this would be your mother. And she probably thinks that she's being sweet.

0

3490.945 - 3513.038 Jade Warshaw

For saying, oh, I'll sign for you. I want you to have this home. But it's a horrible idea because you know and I know that you're not making a lot of money. You still have debt. And the chances of you not being able to make this payment is high. Not to mention there's the renting side about this. It sounds like you are both dependent on.

0

3513.018 - 3534.908 Jade Warshaw

on a renter to live on the other side in order to make this payment which again is creating a lot of risk yeah this is a mess addy don't do it this is a mess and let's add one more element to this it's okay you're gonna be a homeowner yeah you're 23. it's okay you're gonna make it okay

0

3535.141 - 3539.427 Dave Ramsey

But your mom has been controlling this entire conversation.

0

Chapter 8: What advice do Dave and Jade offer to newlyweds about managing finances?

3540.368 - 3560.697 Dave Ramsey

Yeah. And maybe it's time that you just said, Mom, you know, I love you, and I'm just not going to do this right now. And that's going to do a lot of things for you and your mom. One is she's not going to get to control you with the purchase. She and the realtor. are telling you what to do. Do you not hear that? It was very clear in the language that you used.

0

3560.978 - 3583.715 Dave Ramsey

You're being treated like a little girl. Like your mom's pretty, she may mean well, but she's pretty stinking controlling here. And she loves the fact she needs to co-sign. She loves the fact that you are dependent upon her because now she gets to tell you what to do even more. So you need to break free of mommy. Mommy needs to be a grown-up and Addie needs to be a grown-up.

0

3584.096 - 3610.561 Dave Ramsey

Yeah, because what happens... And enjoy mommy as a peer, not as a controlling mother of a 23-year-old treating you like you're 13. You're not making a decision in this entire thing. Every one of these decisions are being made by someone else and pushed upon you. You need to stiff arm this back, step back, breathe, get you a nice little apartment and a great life.

0

3610.581 - 3616.532 Dave Ramsey

And let all those people go do their little lives. And then when you get ready to buy a house, you'll be in a position to buy a house.

0

3616.715 - 3625.426 Jade Warshaw

Yeah, because only two scenarios come of this. No, it's bad. It's all bad. If she doesn't make that payment, A, her mom's lording it over her.

3626.287 - 3649.427 Dave Ramsey

Her mom's going to tell her when she can take vacation because she goes on the loan. I'm telling you. I smell control freak a mile away, and I've got a good nose for it. Courtney's in Oklahoma City. Hey, Courtney, what's up? Hey, Dave. Hey, Jade. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. How can we help? Um, so first of all, Jade, I'm a huge fan.

3649.527 - 3672.439 Dave Ramsey

I've seen your debt-free scream about a hundred times. It's fascinating to me. It's awesome. It is awesome. I am, I am, I've been married for 12 years. Um, my husband and I have three kids. We have almost a hundred thousand dollars in total debt and we're on baby step two. Um, and when we pay off these small cards, you know, that's, that's great. That's a great morale booster. I would say it's

3672.723 - 3695.001 Dave Ramsey

It's easy, instant satisfaction. And we have some bigger balances that are coming up that I know are not going to have that instant gratification. So what I'm asking is, how can I keep morale and encouragement with my husband and I in between as we come into these larger balances that we know are going to take longer and there's not going to be some instant gratification there?

3694.981 - 3697.585 Jade Warshaw

Yeah. What are the biggest balances that you have?

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.