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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney podcast on the Ramsey Networks, is my co-host today.
We're happy to talk to you about your life, your money, your relationships. We're here to help you. to help you do life a little bit better. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Taylor starts this hour in Knoxville. Hi, Taylor. How are you?
Hey, Dave. Hey, Dr. John. Thank you so much for taking my call.
Sure. What's up?
So I need some help navigating money and family.
My question is, is it wrong for my husband and I to lie about our accomplishments and pretend to be broke in order to financially and emotionally protect ourselves? And I'm happy to give a little context with that.
It's just cowardly.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I own that, yeah. Yeah, it is. How old are you guys? How long y'all been married, Taylor?
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Chapter 2: How can I navigate money discussions with my family?
She can't do it. She doesn't know how. So you're dealing with an incomplete person who's got major, major gaps and you cannot have any expectation that she's going to be anything other than that. And you just smile and go, no. Um, I mean, pretend like, uh, she had had a stroke.
okay and she was in and she was incapable of uh behaving you would just look at her and smile and go gosh that's a horrible malady you've got but that still doesn't mean you get to come over here and you know throw rocks through my window yeah and um we you didn't hear any you don't want to so bad why you just kept driving why
uh can i okay i'm gonna cut to it you're scared you're gonna haunt your marriage yeah and at some point your husband if he hasn't already he's gonna ask why her over me why her over our future that we're trying to build together she's taking up a lot of space in your head
So this may be, you guys, you may need to sit down and talk to somebody and work this through. Because this is a mother-daughter dysfunction that's pretty serious. And it's just manifesting itself in the money. But there's a lot of other parts of this. But the truth is, you're not going to have peace hiding.
as a 30 year old hiding like you're some kind of misbehaving teenager you know i can't tell my mom i got good grades you know i mean come on what so because she she does not have the capacity she's a diminished capacity as if she's had a stroke we'll just call it that okay and and it affected her ability to be a good mom
And so you just treat her like that and it's kind of sad and it's kind of pitiful. But it doesn't mean I can't tell her the truth. Mom, you know, if it comes up, but you don't need to go in there and go, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, look what we did. Because that's not going to do it either. But if it comes up, you just go, well, you know, hey, yeah, we paid off some money.
But I don't sit down with anybody and go, look at what I did. Yeah, how does that even come up in your house? Yeah, really.
Well, whenever me and my husband go, which is less and less frequently now, if I need to go to the restroom or leave the room, they will corner my husband and straight up say, how much money did you make this year?
What are you making now?
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Chapter 3: What are the emotional impacts of financial success on family relationships?
Thank you very much. It's all good. Oh, my gosh. It's the same stuff. You're exactly right. I'm not going to tell you about that stuff. No. Papa Dave don't want to know. No. Papa Dave don't want to know. I want to meet the baby. Just tell me what the name is and tell me what the sex is when it's appropriate to tell me and then tell me when I can tell people that and then I will.
And don't tell me unless you want me to tell somebody unless you tell me not to tell them.
I need America to know I had a great joke that I didn't just use. You didn't use it.
Dr. John Deloney Ramsey, personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Today's question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services. When something in your home breaks, remember the Neighborly done right promise, which is it's not done until it's done right.
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All right, today's question comes from Flustered in Florida. Sounds like a Dear Abby column. What would your name be, Dave? Handsome in Nashville. Devilish Dave. Today's question comes from Flustered in Florida. We've used it to pay off all our credit cards and a small student loan that I had. Had no problem using this money this way even though most of the credit card debt was hers.
The way I feel is we're now one and so is our debt. However, she feels very guilty about taking this money. It makes her feel indebted to me. I hate to make her feel like she needs to pay me back since I don't feel like this at all. Do you have any advice for this situation? What do you think, man?
Uh, well, I mean, yeah, it's, it's a discussion of a view of marriage. You know, you're not in debt to your spouse ever. You're all into your, you know, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health. I mean, if you get the flu and she makes you chicken soup, do you have to pay for it in sickness and in health?
You know, if she if you're laying in the bed, you know, sweating through a fever because you got the flu and she's working and she's taking care of you and, you know, so forth. Do you have to write a check for that? You know, no, we took we took on each other's burdens were.
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Chapter 4: How should I approach financial boundaries with my parents?
How are you? Hey, I'm doing good. How are you guys? Better than we deserve. What's up?
Good. Well, me and my wife, we're looking to move from Virginia to North Carolina. We have a toddler that is three years old. So we're looking to get to a lower crime city and somewhere with better schools. So we currently don't have any debt other than our mortgage. We owe about 240 on that. We can sell our home for around 450 here. We would be looking to purchase there for five to 600,000.
Um, we'd be looking to roll probably 175,000, um, from our current home in, we also have 125,000 total in savings. So just trying to get an idea of, is this a smart move for us to go ahead and make, um,
taken you know our emotions out of the situation and how much would you put down if it is a good situation i put down everything i had except for three to six months of expenses and i would put the payment or put the mortgage that you take out on a uh 15 year as long as the payment's no more than a fourth of your take-home pay then you can afford this okay And I think you can. All right.
I think it fits in your numbers. I think you're just fine. You are moving to a less expensive real estate market and still moving up in-house, by the way, and blaming a little baby.
Yeah. I would much rather. Dave's on to something really important. I think for the sake of your relationship with your kid, I think it's important for you and your wife to say, hey, we want to move for a better because we have some goals for our life.
But during that stress of moving, that stress of getting a driver's license, it can be real easy to look at that kid and slowly start to resent that kid. We're doing this for you. No, you're not. You're doing it for y'all. And the kid, yeah, went to new schools too, of course, but also it's for y'all.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. That's how that works. I mean, all of it's fine, but you did move up in-house in a cheaper real estate market. Point being, you didn't have to accomplish the school goal only.
but that's okay you can afford it i think cory so i'd probably go right ahead i just watch my i always try to think about how i what what i use to reason my way through that and was that was that reason processing factual and that's why i'm challenging you just to help you with that in the future this is the ramsey show Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
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Chapter 5: How did you manage to pay off $459,000 in debt?
Well, when we first started, it was around $100,000. Our peak was $260,000. And we went down to $112,000 now. Okay. That was with the job change.
Okay. All right. Very cool. Good, good, good. And... $459,000. What kind of debt was this?
A little bit of everything, of course. So we have a few cars that we paid off. Of course, our student loans we paid for.
Chapter 6: What impact does the Smart Dollar program have on employees?
credit cards and our house looking at weird people yes i love it very good great job what's this house worth uh it's right at 350 good for you man that's awesome how old are you two 35 and have a paid for house and now don't have to work as much so took a different job and downsized one job and all that kind of stuff yeah finally got to do the thing he likes to do he doesn't have to work yeah you know
Very, very cool. Excellent job. Excellent job. Well, for those of you out there in America that don't know, we have a program here at Ramsey called Smart Dollar, and it's from the financial wellness side of things. What happens is companies buy Smart Dollar and provide the financial curriculum free to their employees. And it's having a massive impact on employees all across America.
U-Haul had a bunch of their folks come on here a few months ago and do debt-free screams. Costco has taken their folks through it. And companies of all sizes, not just huge ones like U-Haul and Costco. But I understand that your company bought... Smart Dollar, and that's what got you guys started. Is that right? That is, for the most part.
I mean, we were already doing the program really before, but it just added an extra when we started working there, because I started working there about eight months ago.
Chapter 7: How can a couple balance financial success and meaningful work?
Oh, okay. So you were well on your way. All right. And this just helped you. The new job that you got that you love is the company that has Smart Dollar. Yep. Well, that's good news. It's great. Okay. So a little bit worried about it there for a minute. All right. And so your company name that furnishes Smart Dollar is what? Strategy LLC.
Strategy LLC. What do they do? It's a marketing company, web development, and then IT. Okay. What do you do? I'm in the IT side. Okay, cool.
And Haley, what did you used to do? I'm a nurse. You are a nurse. I am. Okay, good.
Very good. So what happened this many months ago?
Even before Strategy LLC was doing it, you guys were already game on, and then you 60 months into this, or six years into this, you knock it out. What got all this started? John's right.
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Chapter 8: What advice is given for tackling debt and building wealth?
Well, we got married back in 2017, and then we started making some decent money, and so when you make decent money, you go out and buy new things. Oh, of course. Bought three new vehicles within like six months. Brand new. So, you know, a lot of depreciation on those. For two drivers. For two drivers. That makes sense. Yeah, they're toys too. Motorcycles. Motorcycles, you know, all that.
So we bought those. And then, you know, when we're paying $2,000 a month on just payments for three vehicles. Good Lord. Yeah, it kind of is overwhelming. It was a wake-up call. Yeah, kind of a wake-up call kind of thing. Yeah. Then our son, he was born 19. He's staying home today, but he was born 19 or 21, sorry, 21. And we were like, we just want to have a good life for him.
And so we just kind of buckled down before and just went after it.
Okay, very fun. So you ran into us earlier. yeah so and then it was just added on to when you went to work for uh strategy llc yep okay it was it was awesome program hayley how did you convince him to sell the motorcycle we didn't oh okay they're all paid for and we got to keep them you just paid them off okay we paid them off She's smiling. We got to keep them. She's riding them. We did.
She has her own as well. So what are these bikes? You married well, Ryan. Harley's. They're Harley's. I've got a Street Glide, and then she's got a Sportster. I love it. Very fun.
You are so much cooler than I am, Haley. It's embarrassing. That's a very low bar, but you're way cooler.
Man. Way to go, you guys. Thank you. And you're how old? 35. And you have a paid-for house, $350,000. Mm-hmm. How's that feel? Amazing.
It's just different. I mean, it's hard to imagine it really. We actually paid our last payment and it was like October 1st, I think we did. And it's still not settling yet. We had made the goal to ourselves that we wanted to pay it off by Christmas and that would be our Christmas present to ourselves.
So we really cranked down and worked extra shifts, and he was working a couple of extra side jobs to make the extra money, and we were able to pay it in October, not in December.
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