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Chapter 1: What steps should I take as a recovering addict?
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving in storage studio, it's the Ramsey Show. A show about your money, your work, your emotional and mental health, your life. I'm John Deloney, joined with my good friend George Campbell, and we are taking your calls on just about anything. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. You got stuff going on in your marriage.
You got stuff going on in your budget. You got financial questions. You got questions about raising kids. Whatever you got, we're here to help. 888-825-5225. Let's go out to Selena in Dover. What's up, Selena? How are we doing?
Hey, guys. Can you hear me?
We can.
How in the world are you? I'm 27 years old.
No, I said how in the world are you?
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Chapter 2: How can I help a friend facing bankruptcy?
Oh, how in the world am I? I'm all right. I'm all right. I can't complain. Oh, you know, I'm grateful. Um, so basically my backstory is, um, you know, I had everything together and, um, a few years ago, a friend and I, Oh, I call her a friend. We're not friends anymore. We got the bright idea to try drugs and I pretty much lost everything. I lost my home. I was evicted from my home.
I crashed my car. I have so many collections. I have about $27,000 in collections. I have $16,000 in student loans. And I have a $28,000 repossession as the car that's now charged off that I crashed. I was on a run. And I have three boys. One of them has autism. He's actually sitting here with me. Four years ago, we lost his father on his third birthday.
Chapter 3: What is the balance between saving and investing for a house?
His father passed away from an overdose. My husband and I, our marriage recently has been kind of hanging on by thread, and it's mainly got finances. It's the main thing because my husband's wages are now being garnished for things that I caused. So it's been rough. His family doesn't really talk to me anymore.
So we're just trying to rebuild our financial health and our marriage and just kind of figure out where to go. Right now, the only income I get is... Um, the money I get from my son's father passing away and I stay in sober living right now with my two children. And I have three boys total, which the unfortunate part about sober living is you can only have two children with you.
So my three-year-old stays with his father. So that's, that's been hard. What I want is to be able to obtain a home somehow, whether I rent, get a mortgage. and just have my family back together and pay off this debt and be free financially and never, never look back again.
I want you to write those goals down. And more importantly, I want you to draw those, a picture of those goals. Um, the, the hipster cool thing to do is to write down goals. I think it's, it has value to it. Um, But for somebody who's traveled the path you've traveled, you're probably very good with words, with getting in and out of situations. You're good at talking.
Chapter 4: Should I borrow money for an investment home?
Yeah. What is challenging is to, A, trust and believe things, and B, actually picture them, something different. And so what you just said about a home that is yours, I want you to draw it out, even if it's just you and crayons and construction paper. And I want you to put it somewhere where you can see it. Because right now, your number one goal is stay sober.
There is being a connected mom, being a homeowner, having a great marriage. All of that comes after stay clean because you can't do any of those things if you're using.
Absolutely.
And so the goal here is I'm going to stay in sober living as long as I need to. I'm going to work as best, as much as I can. And I will...
care and love my kids and i will also reach out and get help for these boys i would this is going to sound counterintuitive i would rather your boys be with somebody for six months that's not you and you spend those six months being completely clean completely well completely whole then go in and go out and go in and go out and go in and go out over the next three or four years okay and i also don't want you using those boys as a teddy bear yeah you know what i mean it's not their job to prop up mom in this season
Yeah, absolutely. You're right.
And so are you clean now?
Yes. How long? Six months and a couple of days. How long? Six months and a few days.
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Chapter 5: How can I rebuild my financial health after addiction?
Yeah, dude. Way to go, man. Did you have a big celebration, a big six month?
Yeah, I'm done. I just, I can't do it anymore. It came to a head back in November. I tried to take myself out of this world. I was pregnant and I went to rehab and I decided I was done. that my children deserved better. But more importantly, I had to learn to love myself because, you know, you can't pour from an empty cup.
I have to show my children that mom loves herself enough to show that I can do this.
So that is beautiful inpatient language. Do you believe that?
I do. I do. And I have to remind myself some days, and, you know, some days are hard. Because everything just seems to be kind of hitting me because I've got some of my wages. They're trying to garnish some of my wages, too. And, you know, it just seems some days it just seems like it's too much. But at the end of the day, I have to remember to be grateful that I have my life.
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Chapter 6: What goals should I set for financial freedom?
Can I tell you, Selena, I don't know that there is going to be a too much for you. You've seen too much. You're too strong. You've been through too much. You've stared hell down in the face and you accepted help and you walked back. And so those people calling you saying, we're going to, you can just smile at them and say, all right, that's cute.
Kind of like a middle schooler talking trash to a UFC fighter. Like, oh, that's cute. I'm tougher than you, right? You've been there.
That's an understatement. It's just, I mean, my story goes all the way back to my childhood. I had an abusive childhood. My parents were addicts. I went home to home every several months. So, you know, I'd never had stability in my life before.
And so here's what you're going to do, Selena.
My husband had his hands on my life all my life. So, I mean, I've come a very long way.
Absolutely.
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Chapter 7: How do I effectively manage my finances in sober living?
And here's what you're going to do. You're going to create the home that you didn't have.
Yes.
You're going to be the mom that you didn't have. Your kids are going to have a different legacy. This is called changing your family tree. How can I help you right now? What's the thing that George and I can do to help you right now?
I just want to make the right step for my financial health. I want to be able to save money. I want to be able to start working on my debt the right way and still have money put back. I want to work on the baby step one to have $1,000 without tapping into it because that seems to be a problem. We're downsizing our storage unit to a cheaper one. It's going to cut the cost in half.
What's in the storage unit that you need? Our home, pretty much. Everything.
When are you going to be able to get full-time income?
I'm hoping in the next couple weeks because I'm trying to relocate. downstate where I'm at so I can have more help with childcare from my family and stuff.
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Chapter 8: What resources can support my financial journey?
So, Selena, I want you, all these plans, these plans, these plans, I want you to write them on a piece of paper. Get them out of your head, okay? Because they come at you like fireworks, right?
Yes, they do.
All right. So I want you to write these things down. Here's plan one, plan two, plan three. I want you to get somebody in your sober living community that will be accountability for you. Probably a sponsor of some sort and somebody walking alongside you. And I want you to hang on the line.
I'm going to send you Own Your Past and Change Your Future and my brand new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life. And I'm going to send you Financial Peace University. And I'm going to send you a year of every dollar. All of them. I'm going to give you all the tools to get you launched out. But you have to go make it happen. We love you. You call us anytime, and we're here to help you.
I'm so, so, so proud of you. So proud of you. We'll be right back. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined by George Campbell, 888-825-5225. We're taking your calls on money, marriage, life, mental health, emotional health, all of it.
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Today's question comes from Cindy in New Mexico. Within the last week, I found out that not one but two close friends who make over $100,000, which is very good for our part of the country, are so deep in debt they are considering filing for bankruptcy. I'm honestly floored. I would love to talk to them about the Ramsey way, but not entirely sure how to gently broach the topic.
I know they will ultimately make their own decision, but I also want to show them there's another way. Oh, this is a lot less financial and a lot more relational. And gently broach the topic. If my buddy's on the brink of bankruptcy, I don't think there's anything gentle about what's going on here. I think I'm going to shake them and go, dude, please do not do this. There's another way.
And I don't know if they're going to listen to you at that point.
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