Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
We are brought to you today by the wonderful folks at Go Brewing. A few years ago, there was this guy, his name's Joe Chura, and he called me up out of the blue and asked if I would speak at this event that he was hosting in Illinois called Go, which turned out to be this incredibly memorable weekend for me and for all of the attendees, because it was all about how to take inspired action.
Joe and I connected, but, you know, life moved on. That was many years ago. Then, a couple years back when I was at Jesse Itzler's Running Man event in Georgia, I'm walking the grounds when I see Joe. I was surprised to see him again, of course.
Chapter 2: What inspired the creation of Go Brewing?
Sort of a different context, but also... Surprised because he had actually taken inspired action. I shouldn't have been surprised knowing Joe, but I guess I was in the moment. What he did was he took this idea of Go and he turned it into the hottest new brand in non-alcoholic beer called, of course, Go Brewing. What sets Go Brewing apart is their refusal to cut corners.
Everything is handcrafted from scratch in small batches. This commitment to quality has propelled Go Brewing into one of America's fastest growing breweries, now in over 5,000 locations across 20 states. Their salty AF gelato claimed the untapped number one non-alcoholic lager spot in America.
They're constantly dropping all these bold new flavors, double IPAs, incredible sours, all without added sugars or any artificial nonsense. The non-alcoholic revolution isn't coming. It's here, people. And I'm really honored to be championing it with Joe. So get on board by getting with Go by going to GoBrewing.com, where you're going to use the code RICHROLL for 15% off your first purchase.
That's GoBrewing.com, code RICHROLL. Last minute shopping. Yeah, we're there. That is what's happening. So let me help you out and let me help save you perhaps from spending your hard earned dollars on just something random by reminding you that the kind of gifts that people actually value are the ones that connect the person you care about to what they care about.
Demonstrating, of course, that you understand what actually matters to them. And so if movement is something your cared one cares about, Ahn has got you covered because Ahn carries just a whole line of category best shoes and gear for running and hiking.
Trail shoes like the Cloud Ultra for exploring nature, Cloud Runner 2 for road miles, apparel like the club hoodie, and accessories like performance socks, caps, and bags that work as fantastic last minute stocking stuffers.
On is just on point when it comes to getting out of the way so you can focus on doing the thing so you can enjoy that runner's high undistracted and experience the silence at the summit for the experience itself. you're not just giving gear. You're giving someone the tools to get out there, to explore, to push farther. And that matters more than something that just ends up forgotten somewhere.
Making ON the perfect gift for moving into the new year. So move yourself over to on.com slash ritual and explore my picks for holiday gifts. I have always used people the way other people use substances. What that has made me into is somebody who can be extremely manipulative. A lot of people are in relationships and they don't even know what the other person needs.
I think if you want to undertake the act of creation, there will always be a price that you pay. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to part two of the annual RRP Best of Festivities. I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. I must say it really has been fun revisiting these conversations and putting together this special audio yearbook for all of you guys. And part two does not disappoint.
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Chapter 3: How does Go Brewing differentiate itself in the non-alcoholic beer market?
So maybe talk a little bit more about what it is and maybe how even someone could self-diagnose themselves. I think the best way to do it is to do this like a qualification and just tell my story. And I think that people may recognize parts of themselves in it. I would be loath to start giving tools of diagnosis for something that can be so subtle, but I can say this about me.
I can say that what it manifests as in me is a sincere belief that there's somebody out there who I can meet who's going to make me feel okay, lastingly. And that my job is to find that person. It's a difficult thing because of course, culture teaches us exactly to do that. And especially if you're a woman, you're very much taught that.
That's a story that's as old as the hills that girls and women are taught. There's an incompletion in me and I'm gonna go find the person who's gonna complete me. That's the sort of soft way to describe it. The way that I would describe how I experience it is that I have always used people the way other people use substances.
So there are people who I have used as sedatives and there are people who I've used as stimulants. And what I want to take complete ownership over as I tell my story is what that has made me into over time is somebody who can be extremely manipulative. And that's the sort of side effect of this.
It's like, if I don't feel okay, and I need to find somebody who's gonna make me feel okay, then in order to get that need met, I'm gonna have to figure out how to be an operator in terms of how do I have to present? Like, what do I have to become in order to get what we call in some of these rooms, LAVA, which is love, attention, validation, and acceptance, right?
So that's what I'm longing for because I can't generate that within myself. Right. So I need to go get this lava. Like somebody else has this. Somebody's the plug. Like somebody's got this stuff. I don't have it. And so what do I have to do? Like what ends like any addict? It's like what manipulations do I have to do? What lies do I have to tell?
What tricks do I have to turn in order to get your eye contact on me? And the words that I need you to say, I need to make you say those words. I need to make you make these promises to me. I need to completely abandon myself in order to get you to do this thing for me. And if I don't get the thing that I need, I'll go get it somewhere else, regardless of what commitment I've made to somebody.
And so when I look at my particular history with this, what I see is for 35 uninterrupted years, tiny little interruption when I went and wrote He Pray Love. There was like a nine-month period where I wasn't doing this, which was actually the healthiest time of my life until now. I was just going. between sedative, stimulant, sedative, stimulant. This person is extremely exciting.
This person is extremely calming. Like, okay, now I'm so calm that I can't bear the restlessness and the irritability and the discontent. So now I have to go find somebody who's absolutely thrilling, who's gonna like light me up Until they withhold and then I go insane and now I need another sedative and now I need another stimulant.
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Chapter 4: What gifts are truly meaningful and appreciated?
And the way I generally think about it is the moment of change is when the pain of your circumstances exceeds the fear of doing something different, right? You have to confront that fear or these fears are in tension with each other and which one is winning out is kind of going to dictate how you behave on some level. it's this discomfort with uncertainty that we have.
Like we don't like it and we delude ourselves into believing that we're in control of things. And if something goes wrong, like we didn't do something right. And I think disabusing ourselves of that illusion of control and acknowledging that uncertainty is just, that's just the landscape. Everything is uncertain. It's never gonna change in that regard so that you can detach a little bit and-
free yourself from self-judgment or all of the unnecessary pain that comes with things not working out the way you would like them to. Yeah, exactly. You know what? One of the things that's such an important topic, I think now in America, there's so much and around the world, anxiety and fear and tension and so much out of our control. And there's a lot of people that are watching to this now.
And I think that have this anxiety and this unknown what's going to happen. And I think there's some really powerful things that they can do when you're afraid of the future or whether you're a pro athlete or anyone. And there's some questions. Do you want me to share those with you? Yeah, please. Well, the first question is, are you willing to face your fears?
And we can get into also, because I went through a very traumatic moment as well. And I've kind of prayed a lot that myself and people that I love don't have to get to the point where we get to that major trauma to fully surrender, which is the power, right? In AA and the power that you talk about and the power that I talk about, this surrender to a power greater than yourself.
And so first asking yourself, am I willing to face my fears? And then, am I willing to face any feeling? This is a big one. Because most people are not willing to face any feeling. They're willing to...
physically do a lot of hard things and um but there's some feelings that we're like no i'm not gonna if that comes it's that's the worst i'm not gonna be there i'm gonna run from it whatever and but if you're willing to face any feeling now you've got some control some power So what is the process of doing that? Like summoning the courage to face that?
Is there like something that you have learned or divined that is a practice to cultivating that disposition? Well, I can tell you about this experience I had with some pro athletes that had a mental block. So that when you have a mental block, then you're constantly thinking about it all day long and it could have ended their careers.
And so I worked with these pro athletes and when you have this fear, it starts with a feeling, it's like a panic attack, starts with a feeling and then it goes into out of control, right? And so the feeling is what we wanna, we're gonna go look for that feeling. And I got that from Conor McGregor. He talked about when he was first a new pro athlete,
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Chapter 5: How can understanding relationships lead to better outcomes?
It's more like you're like, I'm not going to start from the mental posture that this has got to be a fight. This is where I get a bit sort of impatient sometimes with approaches to creativity that are all about battling your way through resistance and just showing up and getting your ass in the chair and all this stuff. I think it can have a role.
But the metaphor that I've used somewhere, I think, is if you barrel up to somebody in a bar looking for a fight, who wasn't planning to have a fight, you'll turn it into a fight, right? You'll get a fight by sort of approaching reality in that kind of, okay, let's do combat. And in fact, things just go more easily if you allow the possibility that they might go more easily.
And I'm not sure it quite
I'm not sure that the semantics are quite clear here but you can almost even difficult things you can approach with a spirit of ease right nobody's suggesting that a really difficult conversation in a business setting or a relationship setting or nobody's suggesting that like bad things happening to people you love is going to be easy in the sense of fun or anything but you can sort of not go into it like
muscularly braced for it to be horrible and find that actually that's the way to to make it go uh more smoothly even if it's sad or stressful or awkward or you know unpleasant in some way it doesn't need to be like combat meditation has been very helpful uh to me with respect to that issue because it helps you notice how insane you are Right, totally.
And when you begin to realize you're just running all kinds of crazy bullshit in your head all the time, then you're able to see with a little bit more clarity that... quite often, you know, I'll just speak for myself, like I'm my own worst enemy, you know, because I'm running some tape without conscious awareness that I'm running it.
And if I could just either stop the tape or get out of my own way and be in that state of allowing, like then stuff comes forth, like, especially with anything creative, like, you know, I'm usually like, you know, I'm like stopping the flow. through like my conscious urges. And if I can just relax into it and be in that space of allowing, like it percolates to the surface naturally.
Yeah, I think that's very uncomfortable. Right. No, totally. And definitely the hardest part of this for me, and I write about this in the third week primarily of the four-week structure, but the degree to which meaningful action is a question of getting out of the way of letting the action happen as opposed to needing to stand behind it and push it forward is...
yeah for a certain kind of person anyway it's like much harder that part because it involves you know it's really where not trying to control everything becomes uh so salient we continue our best of series with author and columnist for the atlantic olga kazan Basically, nothing is predestined. So I will say that.
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Chapter 6: What insights does Elizabeth Gilbert provide on addiction and relationships?
And disabusing people of that. Like if you want to grow, change, evolve, and engender your life with like more fulfillment and meaning, like it demands that you get out of your comfort zone. So don't confuse that with something else. Yeah. I mean, look, everything that you do that's new is going to feel uncomfortable the first time you do it.
I mean, nobody, you know, who has a baby like goes home from the hospital that first day and is like, I feel totally at ease with this thing. I feel confident. I know exactly what to do with this baby. I feel like a natural born parent. Like everyone is like a total nervous wreck.
Can't believe like they were allowed to leave the hospital with a baby, you know, is like Googling how many ounces at what time, you know, it's anything you do initially is going to feel very, very uncomfortable. You know, the first, like I said, 10, 15 times I did improv, it was extremely uncomfortable.
And I think part of it is just like if you have a value or a goal that's on the other side of that discomfort, you can't let the discomfort stop you. You have to just kind of persevere a little bit until it becomes more comfortable.
You know, we see this like most explicitly and literally with exercise where like the first time you run, it's like super uncomfortable and you're like, why do people do this? And then you get good at running and suddenly it's like glorious and euphoric. That happens with mental things, attitudinal things, too. I found it in my notes. It was Sonya.
She said, just because it doesn't feel natural or comfortable doesn't mean it's not authentic. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And authenticity, like the way we think, like people think of authenticity is just what feels good to me, right? And so I would caution against letting that be your guide to everything you do, because not everything that feels good to you is the best thing to be doing at the time.
And not everything that's healthy or interesting or that's going to help you grow is going to feel good at first. This is Mark Brackett, psychologist and expert on emotional intelligence. Let's think about this for a minute. Ideally, we have ultimate control over everything that happens in our lives and we don't need to regulate. Everything is exactly the way Mark wants it to be.
That doesn't happen. We will have this election and I'll get this job and this person will work for me and this will happen and everything just works out. Not going to happen. So I can't control the world. I can control some of the situations. I cannot go into the you know, office of this person who really is mean. All you can control is your behavior and your relationship with your behavior.
Yes. But ultimately, think about it. We would be in this emotionally great place if everything just happened the way we want it to happen. Can't rely on that. Then just to backtrack a little bit, we've given ourselves permission to feel and everyone else too, whether we love them or not. We've clearly labeled our feelings and there's a whole, we got lessons in there to do that.
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Chapter 7: How can we redefine success and mastery in our lives?
Is it by being a sculptor? Is it by being a cookbook author? They don't know. They just know that they want to do something. So hobby is such a non- committal, non-intimidating way to figure that out about yourself. How do you feel most fulfilled when it comes to self-expression? And while you're doing that, you're also saving some money, putting some money aside because that is
an integral component to dream chasing. We live in a capitalistic world, whether you like it or not. It is very hard to chase dreams if they are not capitalized, if they are not funded. I'm not saying you need a lot of money, some.
And that is the way that I did it, which was I had a hobby and I socked money away little by little by little to make sure that if ever the day came where I would be given the runway to really chase that dream, that that runway would be fully funded for as long as possible. I think underscoring the hobby aspect of it is really important.
Like at the outset of this, and perhaps even in its early full-blown states, it still wasn't like, oh, this is my path out of this career. No way. It was just something you enjoyed doing. And I think when you mentioned that people don't even know what their creativity looks like, I think... that translates also into like not even knowing what their hobby would be.
So I think it begins with just indulging your curiosity or first even paying attention to your curiosity. Like where does it naturally gravitate towards? Where do your eyes kind of like wander and just drawing some kind of present awareness to that and honoring, like noting it. Oh, that's interesting. Like, you know, when I open up the newspaper, why do I always pull the style section out first?
You know, when I should be reading the business section or whatever, like instead of saying, well, I should read the, like, oh, well, there's something there. Like, why do I, you know, why do I always kind of like do these things? And if you pull that thread, you know, maybe there's a hobby if you continue to pull, but yeah,
I think it's just making this conscious decision to honor your curiosity and say like, this is valid. And if you continue to do that, there's always meaning on the other end of that. Whether that looks like a full-blown career change is a different question.
But I think to the extent that if you're in a certain situation in your life where things like meaning and fulfillment seem elusive, that might be a path towards a little bit more of it. I think the other big thing is to just do it.
I mean, I think people sometimes are so enamored with the perfect manifestation of their hobby or their dream or their creative enterprise that it actually prevents them from taking that very first step of doing it. And it doesn't have to be pretty. It can be extremely ugly. Well, it's not going to be. No, exactly. I mean, that's the thing. It's not like you can't. Get caught up in that.
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of current trends in health and wellness?
I know. We're going to have to talk about something fun eventually because this is such a bummer. But no, I'm glad you brought it up because it's super important for people listening. Yeah. So, yes, the NIH funding is being cut, I think, by 40%.
And much of my adult life after I lost my husband to colon cancer and my sister to pancreatic cancer has been spent really focused on cancer, raising money for cancer research, getting to know a lot of scientists, increasing awareness. And, you know, I started Stand Up to Cancer with some other pissed off women who were just very frustrated at the pace of progress.
So I have been in this world, you know, not like scientists have, but I have gotten such a deep, profound appreciation for women.
for what these people do and how tirelessly they work day in and day out and how hard it is and how complicated these diseases are, not just cancer, which is like a million diseases and a million different biologies, but all these neurodegenerative diseases and heart disease anyway. And the fact there's so much wrong with cutting medical research in this way
And not only are we in a huge inflection point with AI, you know, merging with basic biology and other, you know, immunotherapeutic approaches and, you know, I know you are interested in medicine and I want to talk to you about this actually, but I'll talk to you in a minute. to pull the rug out from under these scientists to stop, and patients, stop clinical trials.
It is such a disservice to our country. And we're also already witnessing a significant brain drain. Scientists aren't gonna stay here if their projects aren't funded. You know, France is saying, come to France. Other countries are saying, we will fund your research. It is so foolhardy and disgusting.
But there is a move on Capitol Hill with I think it's pretty bipartisan to try to reinstate some of the funding into NIH. That's good to know. I mean, that's the other thing when you grow up in D.C., you grow up around kids whose parents were scientists at NIH. A lot of my friend's parents were researchers at NIH. Listen, that was a long time ago.
I'm sure there's some bureaucratic bloat and all of that, but the idea that these people are somehow co-opted by big pharma and are working at the behest of these corporate interests for their own personal enrichment is kind of insane.
Like these people have devoted their lives to science and they are immersed in these research projects that are expensive and complicated and take many, many years. And a lot of this has been interrupted and disrupted. And so, a lot of that science is lost. It's quite tragic for anyone who is depending upon cures and therapies for whatever they're suffering from right now. It's a travesty.
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