Expectations Detox
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What is the Expectations Detox all about?
Welcome to the Ryan Leak Podcast, where we keep things short, sweet, and practical. This episode is officially released on Monday, April 14th, which means tomorrow I have a brand new book coming out called How to Work with Complicated People. And I would love for you to order your copy on Amazon. And it could be at your house within a day or two. Who knows?
How can adjusting expectations improve relationships?
Maybe even same day if you got Amazon Prime. Today's episode is unpacking something that I talk about in my book, which is one of the primary strategies for working with people who have that gift of getting on your last nerve. I want to talk to you today about how you're going to be so much more effective in your life, in your job, with your relationships, when you begin to adjust your expectations. Here's the truth. Most of us quietly expect two things from everybody, and we'd rarely ever say it out loud. but we expect just about everybody to be simple and perfect.
What are the common unrealistic expectations we have of others?
You'd never say that out loud, but our internal reactions slash frustrations often come from people missing the mark. Now their job description doesn't say simple or perfect really anywhere. The wedding vows don't typically include either of those words, but somehow when somebody falls short, It's usually from an internal expectation that our external relationships never even knew about. And so... what we actually get instead of simple and perfect is, well, complicated, imperfect, quirky, late, moody, difficult, dare I say, human. Unfortunately, your only options for bosses, coworkers, kids, neighbors, pastors, lovers, the only options you got are human ones. And humans, unfortunately, well, they come with complexity.
Why are people complicated and different?
I mean, wouldn't it be awesome if we could all go to perfectpeople.com and handpick flawless individuals to marry, to lead, to work with, to hire, start businesses with these people, live next to these people. But here's the problem. Well, we wouldn't be on the website. They wouldn't be able to pick us. So what do we do instead? I think we adjust our expectations. Stop being disappointed when you don't get sameness. People are different, wildly different. And I'll prove it. Some people are one word responders. You got any friends like this? The one-word responders, fine, good, okay. That's the whole text. The one that drives me the most crazy is when someone responds with just, sure. Want to go on a date? Sure. Will you be at my birthday party? Sure.
Listen, I get it. Some people just don't feel like texting you back, so they'll just hit you with the sure. Some people are the opposite, though. They are blog responders. You ask how their weekend was and they send you 800 words, seven photos, three voice memos, then a Spotify playlist. You're like, hey, I don't need all of that. Some people are in group chats, but don't ever respond.
How do personality types affect interactions?
Don't judge them. They just got stuff to do and they don't feel like responding. I get it. People are different. Some people are Walmart people. Low prices, rollbacks, everything in bulk. I get it. Some people are target people. $50 for some toothpaste and throw pillows and they'll get groceries and couches at the same time. They're different. You got Nike people, you got Adidas people, you got New Balance people. They different. You got Coke people, Pepsi people, Dr. Pepper people, Coke Zero people, McDonald's Coke people. Water people that would be upset if I mentioned a carbonated drink on a podcast. You got fast food people. They need their Chick-fil-A in five minutes or less. Then you got slow food people.
What should we remember when dealing with different types of people?
You go out with them, they want to be there for three hours. It's like, hey man, I got stuff to do. Some people are snack people. You know anybody like this? You ain't never seen them eat, ever. But they always just nibbling. They just like squirrels all day. You're like, did you eat today? Yeah, you had some almonds. You'd be like, what? You got indoorsy people, outdoorsy people. You got some people's ideal vacation is leaving their kids and going to a beach with no schedule, no responsibility, just peace. Some people's dream is a staycation where grandma takes the kids and they do nothing in their own house. Some people's dream vacation is to take their kids with them. I'd be like, why are you taking your chaos to another city? But we're different.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the Expectations Detox all about?
0:00–0:22
2
How can adjusting expectations improve relationships?
0:22–1:07
3
What are the common unrealistic expectations we have of others?
1:07–2:11
4
Why are people complicated and different?
2:11–3:30
5
How do personality types affect interactions?
3:30–4:16
6
What should we remember when dealing with different types of people?
4:16–5:02
7
How can we better prepare for human interactions?
5:02–11:41