Have you ever met someone who gave you the shirt off their back… or someone who kept score every time they did something for you? In this episode of The Ryan Leak Podcast, we explore the powerful difference between givers and takers and why generosity isn’t just a nice idea—it’s a way of life. Ryan shares one of his favorite Proverbs, a jaw-dropping story from a funeral director, and insights from Adam Grant’s Give and Take that reveal how givers ultimately win. Whether it’s in your marriage, job, social media, or friendships, this episode will challenge you to live with open hands and think about the legacy you’re creating—one generous act at a time.
Chapter 1: What does it mean to be a giver or a taker?
Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Ryan Leak Podcast, where we keep things short and sweet. Each episode is around 10 minutes long, and I'm just here to give you a nugget of inspiration to add value to your relationships, the way you work, the way you lean, and the way that you live. Today, we're talking about the subject of givers and takers. Givers and takers.
Chapter 2: How does generosity shape our lives?
When it comes to my life, when it comes to our marriage, when it comes to the culture of our home, when it comes to how we conduct business, how we treat people, one of the central values at the heart of everything we do is generosity. Generosity, generosity. We want to be the kinds of people that give more than we take. And it's not just something that we do. It's actually how we see the world.
Yeah, I see the world through a lens of generosity. I see the world through a lens of what can I give away? That's what I want my life to be about. The reason for that is, is because I feel like that's how God is with us. I feel like God has given me so much that the only appropriate response is to live a generous life. You may not be a person of faith, but I certainly am. And when I look around,
at all of the blessings that are in my life, all the people that are in my life, I just think, man, an appropriate response is to be a giver, is to be one of those people that walks in each and every room and thinks to himself, hey, what could I give to this room? It shapes how our friendships roll. It shapes how we lead. It shapes how we show up for clients.
It shapes how we think about our budget. It shapes how we think about the holidays and our church, absolutely everything. In fact, I love this proverb that's found in Proverbs 11, 24. In the message version, it says, the world of the generous gets larger and larger, but the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. I want you to think about that. A generous life expands your world.
Chapter 3: What insights does Proverbs provide about generosity?
A selfish life shrinks it. One of my favorite books is called Give and Take by Adam Grant. It's one of my favorite authors as well. Not only just my favorite book, I think he's fantastic. And in it, he explains that the most successful people in the long run are actually givers. Not because they're chasing success, but because their generosity, well, it builds trust.
It deepens relationships and opportunities that takers often miss out on. Now, a couple of weeks ago, I was actually doing a podcast with a friend. And after we stopped recording, he said something that absolutely blew me away. He said that he's got this friend who owns a funeral home. And the friend told him, every funeral, I can always tell if the person was a giver or a taker.
Chapter 4: How do givers impact their communities?
He said the funerals of takers are always short. Because there's no stories. People are just kind of there out of obligation. Saying stuff like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Greg was a good guy. Yeah, yeah, we'll miss you, homie. And that's it. And then it's straight to the gravesite. But givers, ooh, he said you can't get people to leave because the stories keep coming.
Chapter 5: What stories do we share at memorial services?
People want to talk about the ways that that person impacted their life. It's hours of people sharing about the love, the kindness, and the generosity that that person poured out into the world. They talk about the time that they were at their lowest and that person showed up with a meal, a check, or just a listening ear.
Chapter 6: How can we live a generous life?
They recall a way that they always made time for them even when it wasn't convenient. They share about that person's generosity and how it made them feel seen, valued, and cared for in ways they never forgot. And honestly, memorial service talk doesn't make me sad. It actually makes me inspired. Because if I'm honest, I don't want a long memorial service. I want a three-day conference.
Chapter 7: What role does generosity play in relationships?
I want there to be so many stories that they have to schedule breakout sessions. I want to line out the door of people who were impacted by my life. And if that's the goal, And generosity isn't just nice. It's necessary. If at the end of your life you want people to say amazing things about you, well, then you have to reverse engineer that and you have to start doing amazing things right now.
Chapter 8: How can you be a giver in your marriage?
Because what you don't want is for somebody to ever have to get up at your memorial service and tell a lie. No, you want it to be a true story. And I think the way that we live with the end in mind is by having a generous life. It's by being a giver. You know, in your marriage, you can be a giver or a taker.
Are you the kind of spouse who looks for ways to serve, to support, to give to your partner? Or are you always keeping score? Do you say things like, I do the dishes, so now you owe me something, right? Or do you just do the dishes because you love them? Do you look for ways to make their life easier? Or do you just expect them to make your life easier? At your job, you can be a giver or a taker.
Are you the person who shares credit or takes it? Do you help your coworkers succeed or do you just look out for yourself? Do you bring solutions or do you only point out problems? Because givers in the workplace, they're the ones that get promoted. They're the ones that leaders want to invest in. In fact, if you look at some of the greatest leaders in history, you'll see a pattern.
They weren't just ambitious. They were generous. They lifted others up. They built ladders instead of just climbing them. On social media, you can be a giver or a taker. Are you there for just the likes, the follows, the validation? Or are you adding value? Are you encouraging? Are you inspiring? Are you challenging people in a way that makes them better?
Are you sharing other people's content that could encourage somebody to follow somebody that's not you? Are you a giver? Are you a taker? Now, maybe you're a person of faith and maybe you go to church and there you can be a giver or a taker.
A lot of people that are people of faith that just go to church, well, some of them just show up to receive, just to consume, just to get a good word, sing a good song, and then they head for the parking lot. Or you could be on the giving side. And this is where you're looking for ways to serve, to give your time, your energy, and perhaps your gifts to other people. Church.
as I understand it, was never meant to be a spectator sport. With your kids, you can be a giver or a taker. Are you giving them your presence, your attention, your encouragement? Or do they only get your energy when you're in the mood? I can't speak for you, but I can speak for me. When I think about our 10-year-old and our 5-year-old, sometimes I fall for the trap of giving our children gifts.
But I'll fail to give them With your friendships? You can be a giver or a taker. Do you only call when you need something? Do you only show up when it's convenient? Or do you invest? Do you check in just because? Do you encourage? Do you celebrate their wins just as much as you want them to celebrate yours?
At some point, we have to ask ourselves, on the other side of me, do people feel like I take more than I give? Would your family, friends, and colleagues say you're a giver or a taker? Because if I'm living my life right, the people in my world, my wife, my kids, my friends, my coworkers, they should feel overflowing. They should feel like their life is larger because I was in it, not smaller.
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