The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Wed, 05 Feb 2025
Matt and Abby open up about their decision to sleep in separate beds (again) and what it means for their relationship. They also dive into feelings of loneliness, the challenges of making friends as adults, and how their social lives have changed over time. This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money, BetterHelp & Nutrafol. RocketMoney: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/unplanned. BetterHelp: Visit https://BetterHelp.com/unplannedpodcast today to get 10% off your first month. Nutrafol: Visit https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code UNPLANNED for $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Why are Matt and Abby sleeping in separate beds?
abby and i are sleeping in separate beds does this mean that you're separating from me what let's take that out i love being married i want to die in that house here you are talking about death and you always get on me about talking about death you talked about in the context of like dying with me still here that's probably gonna happen like statistically that's gonna happen loneliness as an adult it is an epidemic in our society everything was handed to us in college but then we leave and we're like lonelier than we've ever been in our entire lives
Chapter 2: What are the challenges of loneliness as adults?
Welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast, everybody. Thank you for being here. How are you feeling right now? What?
Chapter 3: How do you make friends as an adult?
I'm in a really funny mood today.
It's cold out today, so every time I touch a microphone or the camera, we get shocked. It's been so frustrating.
What is the science behind that?
Trying to set up all of our gear. I just kept getting zapped. So I feel like I've gotten tased multiple times today.
Yeah, I was making you really mad. You said a couple not good words.
You're looking good today, baby.
Thank you.
You're still looking so hot.
You know, have you ever heard of the winter uglies?
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Chapter 4: What is the concept of 'creator hell'?
Well, you got the winter sexies.
No, I don't. Because the other day I was like, I literally didn't do it. We had a kid sick. And so I literally didn't do anything to myself all day. And I just felt like I might not be able to look at myself in the mirror without self-tanner on one more time before I was going to physically gag.
You've been looking so good.
That was so dramatic, but I do feel like I'm experiencing the winter uglies, you know?
I wouldn't actually disagree with that.
Well, you're just being kind.
I think you've gotten more attractive since we started dating.
You know, I will agree with that.
Yeah, I think you're very hot.
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Chapter 5: How does sleeping in separate beds affect a marriage?
Because you're... Oh, wait, I'm so sorry. I'm going to spend a lot of time with you. Don't you worry. Don't you worry.
Okay.
No. Okay. So I realized this, you guys, I call this, there's a concept that I like to refer to as creator hell. So it's when you're a new creator and you do literally everything yourself. Cause it's almost like you're a, it's almost like you're a small business owner. Like say you open a taco stand and you are the sole owner.
So you have to clean everything and cook everything and do all the branding and do all the marketing. Like you are the entire team and, Being a creator is the same way. Like when you start off making content, you are the analyst, you are the marketer, you are the on-camera person. So where the heck was I going with that?
Oh, the reason I'm saying all that is because I'm saying screw you to that whole idea of doing everything myself. And I have someone helping me edit the show. I have someone helping me produce the show. So it's not complete. Okay, let me be honest. I'm still doing a ton of stuff myself.
Yeah. It's mostly like your brain space. Your brain real estate has been taken up.
Because it's like I can be in person with you, but my brain is thinking about all the stuff I have to do. I've already been seeing that one.
Your brain real estate is very...
Like you want real estate in my brain.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of essential oils in their routine?
I hated that.
And it kind of massages your vagus nerve to calm you down so you can get really good sleep at night. It was like the sleep paradise. I created my own sleep paradise in this closet.
I have no words.
Oh, and essential... I also have been using essential oils.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You forgot to say the lavender.
I freaking love essential... Guys, essential oils are great.
You're so high maintenance.
Let me just say this, okay? I don't believe... Sorry if this offends someone. I love you still. I don't believe in the whole essential oil crap. I just don't. But it smells so good. A bunch of people just clicked on it. I just... We just lost about a thousand subscribers.
No, I believe in it because if you like it, it will...
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Chapter 7: What does 'smut' mean in literature?
And he stayed in the bed with her. She's vomiting and he had to wake up early for work. That's the type of, that's the background I'm coming from. Not saying they're better at all, but like we'll be together even if it's the most inconvenient thing.
That's hilarious. Yeah, no, for me, I guess we've just seen... It's just priorities. We've seen things modeled for us differently in the houses we grew up in.
And you know what? Both of our parents have healthy marriages. Yes. So it's not a commentary on your marriage, although it could be because there are some people that aren't sitting in separate rows because they just don't like each other.
Dude, we've been having some really great times now that we sleep in separate beds. Like, I feel like I have so much more energy now.
We're still very much married. Yeah. We're still very much husband and wife.
It's been great.
Yes. It's been wonderful. I would agree.
I love being married. I would agree.
So, yeah, I mean, I'm hoping this is a temporary setup. Is the end in sight?
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Chapter 8: How do cultural differences affect views on intimacy?
They're, like, ripped because our kids just rip it like it's a Christmas present.
Yeah, we've got paper blinds up everywhere. But, you know, the house is coming together, though.
I'm really loving it.
yeah i i think abby said this before abby goes i want to die in this i do i want to die in that house do you realize how morbid that sounds you know if you only think of it that way like i want to live a long full happy life but just have my roots right there in that house here you are talking about death and you always get on me about talking about death
Um, yeah, because you talk about in the context of like dying with me still here.
Oh, that's probably going to happen. Like statistically, that's what's going to happen. That's why I've been trying to run more. Did you know that I've been like running a lot more?
Yeah.
I guys, I've been running like five and a half miles.
Matt, I know everything about you.
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