Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapist. Tonight we have on Rob Rausch. But first, for a special intro, we have Peyton Perther. Boy, oh boy. How are you doing, girl? I mean, am I ever well? For a moment, you were. I feel like I'm constantly losing the fucking plot. This weekend was bad. Every time I'm on Therapist, something like, groundbreakingly awful is going on in my personal life.
I was just, you guys, like, I don't even know how to put it. Dogged. I was disrespected. Payton and I have a lot of alone time this week together, so... Also, whenever Jake and I are left alone, it is just the roguest, most outrageous thing ever. Jake and I, like when we are alone and we've only had a handful of- We have baby weekend. Nights out alone and the world- Shifts. Stops.
It stops and shifts. It stops and shifts. I don't even know if that's the same thing, but it does. And we're coming up on one of those. A man came to the city. A man that not, I wouldn't say he disrespected her in the past, but I would say things didn't end the way you would have liked them to.
Chapter 2: What personal challenges does Peyton share?
You were ghosted. Like, kind of. And Peyton, when this happened, went mute for three days. I didn't speak. She sat in the corner of our house. Silent. Silent. Waiting for him to text me. He didn't. And he didn't. And then I texted him and he like barely replied. So then how did this pick back? Oh. Hi, it was all my fault. But this, the OG crash out was Jay Shetty was on the podcast.
And Peyton sat barefoot. Barefoot. I was literally grounding myself bare feet on the hardwood floor. And I was like, I need a moment of your time alone. And you need to. To guide me. To do something. Yeah, the camera stopped rolling because I had to go pee and pee and went to him and said, please help me. I was in desperate need. So basically this man comes back to the city.
No, but why does he come? Like, let's... I DM'd him. Like... Oh my gosh. God forbid a bitch is moving her thumb. She said, she said, she said, she said she sent him a meme. She found, she looks at me yesterday. She goes, bitch, I searched for it. I lied to everyone. And I said it was on like my, you know, when you're scrolling Instagram and it's suggested. An explore page. No, no, no.
Like, you know, when your feed's done, like you've done the damn thing. Your feed is over. It's like all suggested. I was like, oh yeah. Like screen rant was suggested. No, it wasn't. Right. Screen rant. Screen rant. So she sent him a DM and then he was like, I'm going to come to New York this weekend. He was giving you everything.
Okay, you need to validate me because I also, the worst part about this, and I had therapy this morning, and last week I just did not want to hear a damn thing she said. And like, sometimes that's okay. And I get on this morning and she's like, And I was like, rough weekend. She goes, yeah, I can only imagine how upset you are.
But she was like, well, you know how we spoke last week and you told me that you messaged him and lied to all of your friends about it. I was like, yeah. She was like, well, that means you knew something bad was going to happen. I was like, no, I didn't. You didn't, you didn't. You just, as we said, Peyton was moving in silence. And I honestly was just like, I moved to New York.
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Chapter 3: How does the conversation shift to the topic of relationships?
I feel like it's going to go my way. And it didn't, which is fine. He basically used Peyton as a Yelp account. And this has happened to me before too, which is like, do I give like TripAdvisor? I don't know. Do I give Google? Because the amount of men who text me and they're like, There was this guy last month and he was like, hey, where should I go on vacation?
I was like, I was just in Tulum and Cabo. He goes, great, I'm gonna go to Cabo. Back to your crash out. Back to my crash out. And I really, really, really want to just, moment of silence for this. Yeah, let's all take a moment of silence, ready? Moment of silence for this. Should I just like say what happened? Let's just like start from start to finish.
So basically what occurred is this man is texting me like I have dinner at this time and then come me and my friends got a table at the club I recommended. He's like taking all your recommendations. Come meet us after dinner. I'm like, honestly, perfect. He tells me he's going to the bathroom. He never came back. I know you're like, that's really bad.
Chapter 4: What insights does Rob provide about his experience on reality TV?
It's really bad. It's really bad. There is no way to like sugarcoat it. It's really bad. And Peyton texted him, did you just leave? No response. No response. No, he texted her the next day. What are you doing today? Probably for Rex. I wish you guys could see Louise's face. I'm on the phone with Peyton and I've never heard her like this.
There's only been one instance where she's cried in my arms on the way back from the club. Hi, shocker about another man. Yeah. She is on the phone. Her voice is like breaking. And I'm like, I've never heard this before. Like her voice is like legitimately breaking. Also, you know, it's bad when you wake up and you're sober and it's just like, you're still crying tears.
She cried for 15 hours straight. I was really fucking sad, honestly. I just, like, even if this was a random man I had never met, it's a really horrible feeling. It's the worst feeling. You feel so gross. Also, I just, like, felt like shit about myself, honestly. And I felt very rejected.
And I don't think I was ready to feel that way since I was also coming down from being fucking fouled left, right, and center again. And, like, it just made it ten times worse. So then I go to lunch and I am quite literally unwell. It's Saturday. The sun is shining, but I am not. Like, I am being just like the absolute worst vibe.
And you know, I am usually like the one person that like doesn't get in like a bad vibe. Brings the vibes up. You're always like, it's Saturday. We're drinking. Let's have fun. And I'm always like, you know what? You guys like... Life rocks. Like, let's just like be, it takes a lot for me to be a bad vibe. So me being in this state is really bad. I get home from lunch.
I will say like, I did have a thought go through my head. Like Jake has not checked up on me nearly enough. I totally thought that. And I was like, hmm, noted. Fucking asshole. But then I go back to my apartment and I open my elevator and there's flowers on the ground. My first thought is, are they from him? But then they weren't from Jake and Julia. And then the note was really funny.
But when I saw the flowers, I started crying because I was like, wow, I really needed this. And then... The note was really funny. Also, like, not that anyone needed more perspective. Like, I'm sure everyone can really just understand and see clear as day how down bad I was. I walked into a crystal shop and said, basically, like, I need an exorcism. And what did they give you?
They gave you a crystal. They gave me a little amethyst mushroom and said, this will protect you. And I have been holding it ever since. You know what? You tried. I tried. You tried. And that's fine. That's fine. But I also feel like there's something going on. Well, obviously Mercury's in retrograde, but there's something really about this weekend.
Every single girl I encountered from Friday to Sunday, whether it was at lunch, out, a friend I was meeting for a drink, every single girl was like... I crammed myself to sleep last night. I was like, what? Me too. Damn. What else should we talk about? God, we could just talk for hours on end, huh? Hours on end. Yap, yap, yap. Oh, tonight. I have new caches.
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Chapter 5: What does Rob love about snakes?
Like, I don't live in L.A. And they're like, no, but, like, you're going to be coming to visit all of your friends. And I'm like... No, I know. It's not real life. I love how true to yourself you are. Thank you. Do you still call Alabama home base?
Chapter 6: How does Rob feel about being true to himself?
100%. I'm going there tomorrow. What are you most excited about to go home to? The warmth, ride my motorcycle, and it's just about time for the snakes to start coming out. Tell me about the snakes. What do you want to know? Why? Why? Well, I think that they are misunderstood creatures and I think they're really beautiful. And I am passionate about sharing that with the world.
What is beautiful about them? They're gorgeous. Can I show you some pictures? Okay. But how do you know? Like, I'm confused. Like...
Chapter 7: What are the challenges of being a public figure?
Oh my God, they scared the shit out of me. Like, how are you not like, oh my God. No, I'm going to show you the snake and you're going to be like. This snake's about to beat my shit up. Look at this thing.
Chapter 8: How does Rob handle anxiety and stress?
Look at that. Oh, wow. That is just gorgeous. That's like an alien. Yeah. It's an Asian vine snake for the folks at home. I hope you find such an amazing wife. Oh, thank you. I really like, wow. You are a good person, aren't you? I try. I try. I try my best. Do snakes have sex? Mm-hmm. How? With their sex organs, cloaca. But, like, how do they, like, have sex? It's a lot of wrapping around.
Do the snakes have brains? Yes. Do they, like, communicate with each other? Somewhat, during mating season, yeah. What is the most proud you've ever been of a snake you've caught? I caught the rarest snake in Malta on accident, and it was awesome. And what do you do with that snake? I just put it back where it was. Say, have a good day. But you took a pic. It's like a meet and greet.
It is like a meet and greet. For me, it is. It's a meet and greet. I get very excited. I say hello, take a picture, and let him go. Okay, so we have a fun new section that we're introducing to the show. It's called Manny's Corner. Manny, raise your hand. Manny likes to just write a few questions out that she would like the answers to. Okay. It's Manny's Corner. It's Manny's Corner.
How did Manny get a corner? because Manny is one of the most funny and talented writers I've ever met in my entire life. That'll do it. If your trailer suddenly exploded and you had to move, would you get a house or still pretend to be humble? Yeah, I actually live in a house now. Breaking news. What kind of snake do I remind you of? The ones that have a whole egg in them? Sure, yeah. Egg eater.
Go for it. You caught your first snake at four years old. Were your parents proud, scared, or absent? They were present and scared. Okay. Last one. People say you're hard to read. You were also homeschooled. Is it also hard for you to read? Yes. Okay. Well, I'm dyslexic, so. You are? I am. So is my brother and my mom. I stand with them. And that's Manny's Corner. That was great. Good job, Manny.
She's quite the scorner. Okay, so Rob. Rob, what are you therapist about today? They're pissed about... It's like angry, right? Yeah. People that stand up on airplanes right when it lands. You do that? Brother. Beep. Up. Why? Why? Because let me get my bag first. Why, though? You're not going to get off the plane any faster. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I fucking am. Maybe max three people...
Faster than you were going to. We're taxiing. We're taxiing. We're taxiing. Beep. Oh, hell no. And this is me. This is me. You just wait? I just sit there until they open the door. Why? Because what is the point? I've been sitting for five fucking hours. Let me get my app. Oh, my gosh. So let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. We're on an airplane. On the aisle. Okay. Ding. Ding.
Yeah. And then I'm like, fucking hell. Okay. Your turn. Yeah. I get up. I let you get out. Yeah. No. And then I'm like, do you want to get your bag first or do you want me to step over you? I'd let you go and then I'd sit back down. Wow. Yeah. What a gentleman. What is your dream wedding? I don't think I have one. Do you want to get married?
I do want to get married, but I think, I guess my dream wedding is to marry the love of my life and it works out forever and we have beautiful children and A meaningful marriage full of love. My dream wedding is that I marry someone that I think is attractive, that is funny, but not too funny. You have to be funnier than... I would like to be funnier.
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