Ep31 Let Them Struggle: Enabling & Overfunctioning

"We should strive to keep our hearts open to the sufferings and wretchedness of other people, and pray continually that God may grant us that spirit of compassion which is truly the spirit of God."~ St. Vincent de Paul ➡️"Snowplow" parenting, friendship, or marriage➡️Trying to fix other people's problems ➡️Over-functioningWe care so deeply for our loved ones, and it pains us to watch them struggle and suffer. Sometimes it is good and necessary to help alleviate their suffering. But all of us are tempted to cross the line into interfering in others' lives in order to assuage our own discomfort. But where is the line, and how is over-functioning harmful to people and relationships?Using real-life examples and their unique perspectives as therapist, minister, and parents, Kenna and Pat discuss the dangers of "snowplowing" and the impact it can have on personal growth and relationships. They also reflect on the profound suffering endured by Jesus and his mother, and how their example can guide us in supporting our loved ones in the midst of their own struggles. Join us as we explore together the beautiful opportunity to sit with our loved ones in their hardship and, at the same time, offer them the gift of growth and resilience.Chapters:0:00: Intro & Highs and Hards12:26: Introduction to overfunctioning18:02: Overfunctioning is about MY discomfort, not my loved one’s23:15: Examples of overfunctioning in film & Scripture31:08: Mary as a witness of sitting with someone in the struggle40:31: Challenge By ChoiceSend us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

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