Till The Wheels Fall Off

#123 - Making Changes: Impermanence, Acceptance, and Growth

04 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In the beginning, validation is KEY to the healing process, but at some point a decision has to be made. In this e...

#122 - Paige's Perspective: Exploring Optimism, Pessimism, and Realism

30 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!This episode focuses on understanding the roles that optimism, realism, and pessimism play in handling life situat...

#121 - "Weaponizing" Support - When Does Asking for Support Become Manipulative?

28 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Many people have experienced a situation where they are asked by someone struggling with addiction for "suppo...

#120 - Paige's Perspective: People Pleasing

23 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!This episode from Paige's Perspective discusses the human tendency to care about what others think and the ro...

#119 - Transitional Addiction - Switching Addictions

21 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Transitional addiction or "switching addictions" refers to the phenomenon where an individual shifts fro...

#118 - Paige's Perspective: Challenging Our Negative Self-Talk

16 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode of Paige's Perspective, we dive into the impact of negative self-talk and the importance of s...

#117 - Being Held "Hostage" In A Relationship

14 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Recovery is no doubt hard, but support is not required or deserved especially from the people substance abusers ha...

#116 - Paige's Perspective: Instincts

09 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode of "Paige's Perspective: Trusting Your Instincts," Paige explores the importance of...

#115 - What Can You Change In 90 Days?

07 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!90 days is often cited as an appropriate time to commit to something in order to make it stick, but where does thi...

#114 - Paige's Perspective: The Power of Self Control

02 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this week's episode, we delve into the power of self-control. Inspired by an article on self-control by St...

#113 - Reframing "Selfishness"

31 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode we're covering the concept of selfishness as it pertains to acts of self-care. In many ways w...

#112 - Paige's Perspective: Coping with Uncertainty

26 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige discusses how she deals with a problem we all face ...

#111 - Reclaiming Self Love & Self Esteem When the Bare Minimum Is Asking "Too Much"

24 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Are you REALLY asking for too much? Why do so many accept the bare minimum standard for involvement in a relations...

#110 - Paige's Perspective: Anxiety & Overwhelming Emotions

19 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this week's Paige's perspective, Paige is covering anxiety and overwhelming emotions. Paige recounts ...

#109 - You Are Stronger Than You Think - We Can Do Hard

17 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!This is an episode designed more like a charcuterie board than a main course. We discuss Independently Strong beca...

#108 - Paige's Perspective: Complimenting vs Completing Your Partner

12 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Interdependence is important in our most intimate relationships. When one partner breaks down, we often find ourse...

#107 - Hear Me Out...If You Were Randomly Sent This, Please Listen

10 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Please just hear me out. The person that sent this to you is not as crazy or out of touch or nagging as you think....

#106 - Paige's Perspective: Fake It Till You Make It

05 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige discusses "fake it till you make it" and ...

#105 - Betrayal Trauma

03 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Betrayal trauma refers to the deep psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a significant betrayal ...

#104 - Paige's Perspective: Emerging From the Cocoon - Empowerment

28 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige dives deep into how she moved out of the cocoon pha...

#103 - The Cocoon Phase of Healing

26 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode we discuss the cocoon phase of healing; a familiar place for many spouses and partners of alcoholi...

#102 - Paige's Perspective: How to Balance the F**ks You Give

21 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, let's talk about how to budget the f**ks you give ju...

#101 - Can Compassion Go Too Far?

19 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Compassion is a beautiful characteristic and necessary to some degree in relationships, but there can be too much ...

#100 - Paige's Perspective: We Are Not Broken

14 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Today marks the start of a new solo segment with Paige to supplement our regular weekly show to get you more help,...

#099 - What Are Spouses of Substance Abusers Recovering From?

12 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Many times spouses and partners are lost in a maze of issues that leave confusion and trouble answering a simple q...

#098 - Separate the Behaviors from the Addiction

05 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!How much should you focus on the substance? To what degree is the substance responsible for someone's behavio...

#097 - How to Handle Friends Distancing Due to a Spouse's Addiction - Listener Q&A Pt.2

29 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We continue to answer listener submitted questions in this episode and address the following: 1. How do you learn...

#096 - Rebuilding Trust, Getting Your Needs Met, and Intervention Q&A

22 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We took listener questions for this episode and you can expect to find answers to questions such as: What should y...

#095 - Why Spouses Take Longer to Heal

15 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The recovery journey for a spouse or partner of an alcoholic or addict is not as organized as that of a substance ...

#094 - How to Tell if Someone is Serious About Recovery

08 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Are they serious? Is this normal? How can you tell if someone is really invested in their recovery? In the world o...

#093 - Recognizing Abuse

01 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Exploring the harsh reality of abuse and its profound impact on spouses, families, and children is no easy feat. O...

#092 - Anhedonia and the "Blah" Feelings of Recovery

24 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode we discuss anhedonia, or what's commonly referred to as the "blah" feelings of earl...

#091 - Dry Drunk and Emotional Sobriety

17 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Simply removing the substance accomplishes very little. The term dry drunk refers to someone that has not done &qu...

#090 - Why the Past is Important - Accountability & Healing

10 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Phrases such as "We just need to move forward," "The past is the past, get over it," "Sto...

#089 - It's Okay to be Angry

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In general, we don't like to be angry. It's uncomfortable and then we're faced with the proposition...

#088 - Lessons Learned Together After 4,000 Days Sober

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode we discuss some of the lessons we've learned in 4,000 days of sobriety. We discuss pain manag...

#087 - Finding Comfort as the "Villain"

20 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Being labeled a "Villain" is hurtful when you're just trying to protect yourself and your family. I...

#086 - Grief and Ambiguous Loss - Grieving The Loss of a Dream

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode we cover a particular type of grief common when loving an addicted person called ambiguous loss. A...

#085 - Are You Overreacting?

06 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Is the drinking really as bad as I feel it? Is this a serious problem or am I making something out of nothing? Did...

#084 - Are You An Overthinker?

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Overthinking can plague your mind with many scenarios, many of which are negative and lead to tumultuous thoughts ...

#083 - 10 Truth Bombs About Denial

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The state of denial never feels like you think it would feel...Most people believe they can intuitively recognize ...

#082 - Infidelity Q&A

14 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Infidelity was not part of our story, but we get questions about it weekly. Does the cloud of substance abuse excu...

#081 - Let's Talk About Sex: Emotional and Physical Intimacy Q&A

07 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We took questions from the community and extracted the most commonly asked questions about emotional and physical ...

#080 - Learning to Love Myself - How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!If it were as simple as saying "Just love yourself" then wouldn't everybody have a high self-esteem...

#079 - Codependency Doesn't Tell the Whole Story: Why You Lose Yourself in an Addicted Relationship

24 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Books like "Codependent No More" and programs like CODA or Alanon offer a lot of helpful insight on the ...

#078 - This One's For Overwhelmed Parents

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Being a parent is HARD. The emotional labor and mental weight of decisions rests  heavy on healthy couples in equ...

#077 - GENTLE Self-Care: Self-Care For Beginners

10 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Self-care...oh my. We hear so much about self-care. There are industries devoted to it, so many opinions and optio...

#076 - How Will You Level Up Your Recovery In 2024?

03 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!With a new year comes reflection of the past. We consider what worked, what didn't and what needs to change m...

#075 - Dealing With The Guilt You Feel In Leaving Or Setting Boundaries

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!If I'm doing what's best for me, why do I feel guilty? Even when we do what we know is best for us and o...

#074 - Listener Q&A - How to Navigate Difficult Seasons in Life Sober

22 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We take listener questions from our community and inbox from time to time and we're going to answer a great q...

#073 - Detaching With Love Part 2

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We've covered detaching with love before, but the concept deserves further exploration. Detaching with love i...

#072 - A Doctor's Opinion: Dr. Christopher S. Taylor on Healing, Addiction, Narcissism, and Codependency

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!TWFO welcomes Dr. Christopher S. Taylor to the show to discuss a litany of topics such as healing, addiction, narc...

#071 - If a Friend or Family Member Sent This to You PLEASE Listen

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!It's incredibly hard to communicate to friends and family what it's like being in a relationship with an...

#070 - How To Talk With Kids About Your Addicted Loved One And Other Uncomfortable Topics

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this episode we go somewhere we've never gone before and have a discussion as parents, rather than a coupl...

#069 - Healthy Communication - A Vision For Growth

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The final part in a series on communication covers what healthy communication looks like. We often disregard the n...

#068 - Navigating The Holidays With An Addicted Loved One

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!All I want for Christmas is normalcy...Who can relate? The holidays with an addicted loved one bring an entirely ...

#067 - Communicating with Someone in Early Recovery

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We continue our communication in recovery series by touching on some of the intricacies of communicating with some...

#066 - Communicating With Someone In Active Addiction

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The most common question we get is "How do I help them to get sober?" Unfortunately there is not magic s...

#065 - Trigger Management for Spouses and Partners

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Triggers. The word comes up often in addiction treatment but we're going to shift the discussion to triggers ...

#064 - If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 3

20 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The conclusion of our message to those in active addiction, or in sobriety discusses the spouse's perspective...

#063 - If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 2

18 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We continue with our message to people in early sobriety with a discussion about the disease concept of addiction,...

#062 - Reactive Defense - Fighting Back Is Not Abuse

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Reactive abuse (defense) occurs when the victim of abuse responds to the mistreatment they're enduring. Often...

#061 - If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 1

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We've been asked to create sharable content for your partners and spouses, so here it is. We hope it's h...

#060 - The Process of Empowerment

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The process of empowerment is a journey that takes up time many don't feel they have in the immediacy of a ch...

#059 - How Addiction Affects The Family - Pros & Cons of Al-Anon

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Our discussion this week is split into two parts. The first half focuses on ways in which addiction affects the fa...

#058 - Leaving Him Saved Our Marriage & His Life

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!This episode is special in so many ways. It marks one year of Till The Wheels Fall Off, we have our first guests o...

#057 - Am I Controlling You Or Just Challenging You To Be Better?

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The line between challenging your partner to live up to their potential and controlling them is blurry...Often whe...

#056 - Actions vs Intentions - What Matters Most?

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Your intentions are bullsh...well, not totally, but pretty much. Intentions can be extremely valuable in certain s...

#055 - What's Going On With Men?

23 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!An issue under the surface of what we often discuss is the role of the substance abuser or emotional abuser is tha...

#054 - Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - When Is It Time To Leave A Relationship?

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!"Should I stay or should I go?" paraphrases a question we get maybe more than any other. This episode ho...

#053 - Trauma Bonding - Why We Stay In Abusive Relationships

09 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Trauma bonding occurs when someone becomes overly loyal or attached to another individual who exhibits toxic behav...

#052 - What Is The Partner's Role in Recovery?

02 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!A slippery slope topic...What role should you play in your loved one's recovery and what is the best way to s...

#051 - The Forgotten Partner - Validating the Partner In Alcoholic or Addicted Relationships

26 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!It's okay to be mad. It's okay. Healing starts after the pain is acknowledged and your feelings are vali...

#050 - Boundaries Part 3: Installing and Living With Boundaries

19 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The final episode in our boundaries series covers the review, installation, and experience of living with boundari...

#049 - Boundaries Part 2: What Makes You Uncomfortable?

12 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In part two of our boundaries series we are picking up right where we left off and furthering the discussion aroun...

#048 - Boundaries Part 1: What Are Your Values?

05 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We get asked about setting boundaries more than any single topic so we're creating a 3-part series to break d...

#047 - Listener Q&A

30 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We took to our accounts to field questions from YOU and we think this episode is AMAZING! We really enjoyed making...

#046 - Forgiveness - How To Forgive Others & Yourself

28 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Forgiveness is an incredibly complex topic. Many times we feel that forgiving someone is the same as condoning the...

#045 - Gaslighting

21 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Gaslighting was the buzzterm of 2022 and as it turns out, many people misuse it. Gaslighting is a form of psycholo...

#044 - Building A Relationship In Recovery

14 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!This is a listener requested topic that covers how two people working toward better versions of themselves also st...

#043 - How To Handle Dysfunctional Situations

07 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Dysfunction is sneaky. One moment you're enjoying life and the next you're wondering how in the world yo...

#042 - Living Without Rules - Break Rules to Find Balance

31 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Break rules to find balance in your life! Rules are made to be broken. It's cliche but we believe it to be tr...

#041 - Codependency - It's NOT What You Think

24 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!The word "Codependency" gets a really bad rap. The word conjures imagines of someone obsessed with a par...

#040 - Acceptance Is The Answer - Develop Balance By Understanding What You Can and Can't Change

17 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Acceptance isn't a black or white subject...but it's often perceived as exactly that. True, ruthless acc...

#039 - You Can't Change Other People (But You Can Change Yourself)

10 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Whether you're in a relationship with an addict/alcoholic or in a relationship with a narcissist or perhaps a...

#038 - Ditch Your Excuses - How Limiting Beliefs Stunt Our Growth

03 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!There is more written about excuses and why we shouldn't make them than anyone could possibly read...yet we a...

#037 - Low Maintenance Relationships

26 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Your oldest friends are the easiest to get along with. Why is that? It's because the foundation of that relat...

#036 - Act Yourself Into Right Thinking

19 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!So often we spend hours tormenting ourselves trying to think ourselves out of a problem, emotion, or feeling. Some...

#035 - How To Make REAL Change - Celebrating 10 Years of Recovery & Positive Change

12 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!This week we celebrate 10 years of recovery and positive change! The journey from addiction to recovery has been l...

#034 - Communication - The Easiest Way to Get What You Need

05 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Today we discuss the importance of communication and reveal the secret behind getting what you need in a relations...

#033 - Failure is Success

29 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Are you failing right now? Congratulations! When we learn to recognize failure as a building block of success it t...

#032 - How to Set Boundaries In Your Relationship - What Are Boundaries?

22 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Boundaries in a relationship are often misunderstood, misused, and undefined. We discuss what boundaries are, what...

#031 - Improv to Improve - Simple Steps to Make the Most Out of Adversity and Improve Your Life

15 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Life is a lot like jazz, it's best when you improvise. It's impossible to get upset when you practice ac...

#030 - Work Life Balance - Processing Anxiety Around Holidays & Vacations

08 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Work Life Balance. It seems so simple, doesn't it? I work, then I fulfill my family duties and live out my pa...

#029 - Spirituality and Happiness

01 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Spirituality is a foundation of self development and happiness. This is a conversation we never wanted to have at ...

#028 - How To Cope With Triggers

22 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Triggers are open wounds inside our minds that lead to reactions disproportionate to the present event. The goal h...

#027 - Stop Being Weird About Money

15 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Couples will openly talk about their sex lives before they dare talk about their money. Why is this? We discuss wh...

#026 - Why Accountability Partners Fail: Spoiler - It’s You, Not Them

08 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Accountability partners aren't going to save you from putting food in your mouth and sponsors won't slap...

#025 - Own Your Trauma

01 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Personality comes from the latin word "Persona" , which refers to a theatrical mask worn by performers t...

#024 - From Loving The Addict to Loving Myself

25 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!Detaching with love from an addict partner, child, friend, or family member is difficult. Whether they are in reco...