Time to Lean
Episodes
what can we learn when we revisit couples therapy classics?
10 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Have you heard of the Gottman Institute? The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a wildly popular relationship book and it has plenty of fant...
when does teasing turn toxic?
14 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we share a "candid" video from a couple who are having a serious convo in a #couplescomedy tone. We unpack emotional attunement, fami...
when does modeling better balance become capitalizing on the issue of inequity?
26 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we explore the line between sharing personal growth and capitalizing on the widespread normalization of inequity. When does modeling ...
what if men were tricked into going to therapy?
08 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss an IG reel sent to us from a listener. Do men need to be tricked into going to therapy? What are some thing...
if i have to ask you to invite me, is it REALLY an invitation?
24 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal chat about a clip from the movie Knocked Up where Leslie Mann confronts Paul Rudd about his dishonesty around how h...
i asked for two, but he got me one—am i supposed to be okay with less... everyday... for the rest of my life?
10 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we discuss a viral thread where a woman describes a metaphor for her entire relationship: a situation where she asked for more and wa...
is it funny to have to be begged to do the dishes?
13 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a viral video that makes light of the dynamic of "nagging". Join us as we consider not just what happens...
was 'marriage story' cis-het propaganda?
06 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the 2019 Netflix film, ‘Marriage Story,’ which starred Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. A popular cl...
would you leave someone on read for being too available?
30 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re digging into a few clips from @leftonread_show that had us feeling things! We talk about what it means to be “cool" and whether o...
can an unfinished painting cause you to question everything?
23 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a weird one. Crystal has been slammed and Laura couldn't get a painting out of her head, so she decided to write(and read) about it. In this e...
is it fair to feel upset if i ask for help and your response isn't eager?
16 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk about how vulnerable it can feel to name a need, the weight of perceived pushback, and how quickly it can spiral. We dig into...
what happens if they ask how they can help, then don't like my answer?
10 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A listener sent us a video that hit a nerve: a husband asks his overwhelmed wife how he can help, then resists the very thing she asks for. In this ep...
if i step back, let him “rise” to leadership, and comment HUBBY on this post, will my partner finally make his own damn list?
02 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we look at a viral influencer’s take on why men don’t step up at home. He's just one of many creators who exist in the genre of “rela...
am i the a-hole for making us late when i was doing all the housework?
25 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week Crystal and Laura discuss the challenges of care work, societal expectations of default partners, and the internet's attempts at poking fun ...
what if i know you're going to mess it up?
18 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss planning ahead when one partner takes on a new task--should you make contingency plans just in case they me...
what if we went to couples therapy?
12 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a clip from the popular Showtime show, “Couples Therapy,” where a pair of clients discuss incompetence,...
is instagram ruining your relationship?
04 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the importance of positive language in gardening, the joy of birding through apps, and the impact of social...
is corporate culture co-opting care?
28 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Crystal presents a new study that claims handling home life well can boost your work performance. We dig into what’s really being said(an...
both parents forgot the diapers, so why is it called a "mom fail"?
21 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why is it that we blame the mom when something kid-related falls through the cracks? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss double standards in ge...
will the power moms save us?
14 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Is the point of feminism to become a power mom/CEO powerhouse? (spoiler alert: BIG no). In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss why the new brandin...
did hbo just cover emotional labor?
07 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this super unhinged episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the HBO show The Rehearsal, specifically episode 2 of season 2. We talk emotional labor, Nat...
can you get out of the "nag paradox"?
23 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Laura and Crystal unravel the messy, misunderstood concept of nagging—and spoiler alert, it’s not just a "you problem." We’re diving ...
what makes an "unfit parent"? with author jessica slice
16 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week on Time to Lean, Crystal and Laura sit down with author, essayist, and unapologetic truth-teller Jessica Slice to discuss her powerful new b...
his kidney, his choice?
09 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the emotional labor and expectations that ...
am i the a-hole for calling him a piece of sh*t?
02 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this unfiltered and deeply relatable episode, Crystal and Laura dive headfirst into a viral Am I the Asshole Reddit post that brings up a lot...
why do married men work more?
26 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
They do. They work 7% more than single men, but how does that impact their marriages? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss how capitalism screws...
who takes care of the caregivers?
19 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wonder what happens when the person keeping everything together… falls apart? Spoiler: it’s not good. This week, we’re diving into the unpa...
how heavy is a household task?
12 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What factors help you to decide how hard or simple a household task is? Ellie Windle, CEO and founder of Persist, set out to answer that very question...
is elon musk a bad dad?
05 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We know this probably isn't your most burning question, but did you see this video of him last week? Laura and Crystal discuss the double standard of ...
is it time to focus on men's health?
26 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Laura and Crystal discuss an NPR article that caused quite a stir this week by focusing on men's health while women's rights and freedoms continue to ...
is dating dehumanizing?
19 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Is there such a thing as "The One?" Is there such a thing as "choosing well" when it comes to a partner, or are we always looking to trade up to a "be...
when is weaponized incompetence emotional abuse?
12 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss recent viral videos that beg the question: When exactly does weaponized incompetence turn into emotional ab...
what if they're trying but i need MORE?
05 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wonder if your standard for your partner is too high? Too low? Just right? In this episode, Laura and Crystal explore relationship dynamics when ...
is it true that if he wanted to, he would?
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this weeks episode Laura and Crystal read a message from a follower and explore the idea of “if they wanted to they would.” We also give some o...
if it's a joke, why aren't we laughing?
21 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we discuss a viral video of a stand-up comedian, whose punchline is how incompetent dads are. We're not laughing.Join our Patreon!...
Three year olds are fine on their own, right?
15 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Time to Lean, we share a wild story about a woman who had a three-year-old dropped into the seat next to her on a flight—without ...
is this mother-in-law the a-hole?
08 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the complexities of family dynamics, particularly in the context of a viral gender reveal and the emotional...
is it ball-busting to ask you to clean on the weekends?
18 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Laura and Crystal discuss a viral video that ironically covers not only the Nag Paradox but also the double-standard myth that working outside the hom...
is it queer to like your wife?
11 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You know the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life?" Well in this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a refreshing take on this tired saying by creator @livun...
RE-RELEASE: what's going down at Ballerina Farm?
04 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothe...
am I the a-hole for wanting time alone?
27 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We have a listener-submitted question! Queen of Group Projects wants to know if she should feel bad for wanting her partner to do his own tasks ON HIS...
am i the a-hole for not helping when my partner says they're overwhelmed?
22 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week's episode has us grappled with some conflicted feelings. We discuss an AITA where someone asks if they're being a jerk by not helping their ...
if you're so tired, shouldn't you be laying down instead of washing the walls?
13 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we explore a viral video featuring a woman who always says she wants to relax, yet when the moment finally comes, she can’t help bu...
what if my partner voted against my best interest?
08 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A very special episode, post-election. What now?Resources:National Domestic Violence HotlineWhat Are My Values? Free Worksheet from UsFresh Starts Reg...
what are signs the relationship is over?
30 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! htt...
am I the a-hole for being upset he forgot my 40th birthday?
23 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss Birthday Blues, expectations for partners, and how to move forward if they let you down.Links:Article from ...
am i wrong for freaking out over a looming natural disaster?
16 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the dynamics of a viral video that highlights the emotional labor women often experience in relationsh...
how can we build a village in a nuclear-family-obsessed culture?
09 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we interview Jessica Daylover, polyamorous storyteller, educator, mother of two and so much more - including Chief Executive Officer ...
i'm considering divorce - am i overreacting?
02 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, Crystal reads Laura a story from a woman who faces a disastrous situation while recovering from abdominal surgery and heads to...
i'm fine, so why are you mad? - REPLAY
25 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this REPLAY episode, we revisit a discussion we had about common commentary along the lines of, "I'm not sure why you're so upset! I do what you as...
am i asking too much for them to follow through on their word?
18 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we respond to a listener email from someone who is feeling stuck. Their partner says they're on board, but actions don't reflect thos...
am i the a-hole for refusing to wake him up?
11 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is it your partner's job to make sure you get to work on time? In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a Reddit post about a woman who refuses to w...
am I the a-hole for divorcing over tightened lids?
04 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week's episode, we cover an absolutely WILD RIDE of an Am I The Asshole where a woman runs to the internet to ask if she's the asshole for divorc...
how is care the highest form of capitalism? an interview with Toi Smith
28 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal are joined by Toi Smith to discuss capitalism, motherhood, and collective liberation. How are they related, and how...
will an equitable chore split save us?
21 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we chat about the often-overlooked value of care work and the challenges of juggling work and family life. We share our personal stor...
how do you decide who should decide?
14 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Join us as we dive into the rollercoaster ride of decision-making in relationships! We tackle the hot topic of who does what at home and the mental ju...
what is the back-to-school mental load?
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss all things Back-to-Schoo! If you have kids or teach them or babysit them or are around them, you have felt ...
what's going on down at Ballerina Farm?
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothe...
how should we handle finances? with Ellyce Fulmore
24 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura speaks with Ellyce Fulmore, author of the national bestseller Keep Finance Personal, a book dedicated to helping neurodivergent...
do they get to complain if they didn't help plan?
17 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we delve into the mental load and invisible pressures mothers and primary caregivers often face. We'll listen to a woman whose kids a...
what if every conversation we have is a competition?
10 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we have a tweet submitted from a listener regarding initial reactions in communication. We discuss collaborative versus compet...
am I the a-hole not cancelling the cleaner when my partner asked me to?
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week's episode focuses on an AITA found on reddit where the poster wanted to know if she was a jerk for asking her partner to let a cleaner into ...
how can we get the whole family to see the work?
26 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we discuss how we can course-correct when balance arrives, but the perception of it is still skewed. What work is being notice...
is it "over-packing" or is it making sure we have a good time?
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we discuss the challenges of packing! Why do we pack what we pack? What goes into the process, and why? Packing is a task that...
RE-RELEASE: someone on the internet said screens were BAD, is that true? with the Gamer Educator!
12 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator, joins Laura and Crystal to talk about the nuances surrounding screens. A video recently went viral on Tiktok where a c...
what if my needs are making him want to crawl out of his skin?
05 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener question. She had a friend to visit for a few days and it ended very poorly. What is she suppose...
isn't that just called being a mom?
29 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal dive into executive function, anxiety spirals and the complicated space of trying to emotionally regulate as a pare...
is the diabolical lie that we can work or stay home?
22 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the speech Kansas City Chiefs kicker, Harrison Butker, gave at a Catholic university's commencement cer...
are "boy rooms" really all that messy?
15 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk about "Boy Room", a show by Rachel Coster. It's an Instagram series that explores the messy and ...
the best part about being a dad is not being a mom.
08 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we hear a clip from a podcast where a man VERY PROUDLY explains that he only changes diapers if he's in a good mood, doesn't ...
why is knowing everything MY job?
01 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the mental load of parenting and the learning that is often assumed by partners socialized as female. We al...
am i the a-hole for choosing the bride over my friend?
17 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we look at an AITA where someone's caught in a sticky friendship/family situation chock full of emotional labor. We ta...
what if i sacrificed my identity to serve my family?
10 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Laura and Crystal discuss submissions from our audience concerning loss of identity through self-sacrificing. Can we serve others, enjoy it, without s...
is it a case for older men or is it a case for girl bossing?
31 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Crystal and Laura discuss a viral article from The Cut titled 'The Case for Marrying an Older Man'. The article argues that marrying an older ...
what if he's trying, but it still isn't working?
27 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we discuss a listener's email--she wants to know what to do if her partner is on board but, because of his ADHD, isn't able t...
i'm fine, so why are you mad?
13 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we discuss common commentary along the lines of, "I'm not sure why you're so upset! I do what you ask. I never make dema...
Is Love truly Blind??
06 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
By popular demand, Laura and Crystal review Love is Blind, season 6! Just in time for the finale, get all the hot takes on the newest season!...
but what if they're doing it the wrong way?
28 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Laura and Crystal discuss a comment left on Instagram--what happens when a partner insists on doing something in the house the "right" way? ...
wait, what is the internet for?
21 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a viral video, separation anxiety, and the existential crisis that is the internet. Join us in the fray!Men...
shouldn't i just be grateful?
14 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Laura and Crystal discuss a listener's question that we hear all. the. time. "if my partner is better than they used to be, shouldn't I j...
what if your values don't align?
07 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the reality show 'Welcome to Plathville' and the recent divorce of Olivia and Ethan Plath. They exp...
why are love languages so insidious?
31 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura interviews Crystal about the Love Languages episode (yes, we're still talking about it!) And they also discuss how "ch...
what if love languages are bulls**t?
17 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Michael Vaughn (@world.shaker) discuss the Five Love Languages, and how it has the potential to damage your relationship!...
what does a woman drive you to do?
10 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a WILD answer to a question on an old episode of Family Feud. Why isn't it funny? Mentioned in this epi...
what happens when your partner lets you down?
03 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a viral video when a partner asked her husband to do ONE THING--and he couldn't do it right. What do yo...
Can a situational hostage ever really win?
27 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we talk about the pillars of the "Man Box", discuss a viral prank and cover the topic of "situational hosta...
Should you lie about who's giving you gifts?
20 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura take a listener question. If you've been lying about getting gifts from your spouse for years, at wh...
Do You Have Oldest Daughter Syndrome?
13 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss Oldest Daughter Syndrome, enmeshment, boundaries and Mama's Boys.As a reminder, information presented i...
Is it funny to joke about domestic violence?
07 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
**TW: Domestic violence and sexual assaultIn this week's episode, Crystal and Laura talk about Matt Rife's now-famous domestic violence joke f...
Introducing: Time to Lean
06 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Educator Laura Danger and therapist Crystal Britt tackle your household messes. We provide unsolicited advice to tiktokers and reality tv couples and ...
I have anxiety and he has ADHD! Now what?
30 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura take a caller question about ADHD, executive function and standards. They also chat about "sad dad ...
Do you HAVE to have sex?
22 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We can't wait for you to listen to this one--are you obligated to have sex with a partner, just because they're your partner? In this episode,...
Am I a Bad Wife, Bad Mom, Bad Feminist BAD BAD BAD?
16 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a trending video where a mother-in-law takes over when the wife is away! They also talk about the self-l...
What if my life changed and theirs stayed the same?
09 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal share a clip that celebrates all of the things working mothers do and share an email from a follower. The topic: my...
What's Your Tolerable Level of Permanent Unhappiness?
02 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal take a listener message and discuss what happens when a partner isn't interested in your hobby. We talk about d...
Men Get to "Opt Out" of Childcare?
26 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss two articles that are VERY different in the way they talk about men and women and childcare (or lack there ...
Who Gets a Sick Day?
25 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Laura and Crystal take a listener message and share a viral video. The topic: what's the deal with some people having access to r...
What would you do if your partner kept something BIG from you?
19 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, Laura tells Crystal all about what happened in a bombshell episode of 90 Day Fiance, The Last Resort. Have you ever made a...
Are you hiding out in the bathroom right now?
11 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Laura and Crystal talk about hiding out in the bathroom! They do a bit of over-sharing but in the name of discussing the old trope that dads are alway...
What if I can't leave?--Building Community
28 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Crystal and Laura take a question from a listener who is wondering how to keep herself afloat because her partner isn't interested in c...