The complicated truth about adoption reunions

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Today in Focus 35 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 months ago
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What prompted David Batty's search for his birth mother?

Annie Kelly 0:00
Today, the complicated truth behind adoption reunions.
Annie Kelly 0:20
One morning in September 2023, David Batty was scrolling through his work emails looking for a lost message. Searching through his spam box, he found something that turned this mundane, everyday moment into something monumental.
David Batty 0:35
So I had set up a Google alert on her name, and it was an alert for a probate notice. And I rang the solicitor who told me, yes, she'd been killed in this, well, I think they called it a car accident.

How did David feel upon discovering his birth mother's death?

Annie Kelly 0:53
His birth mother had died.
David Batty 0:58
I heard from my birth mother's sister, that's my maternal aunt, to tell me more details. And really just painted this picture of a very sad and lonely end to my birth mother's life. So, yeah, that was numbing.
Annie Kelly 1:24
David was one of hundreds of thousands of babies forcibly adopted in the UK between the 1940s and the 1970s. And for years after learning he was adopted, he had dreamt of being reunited with Susan, his birth mother. But the reality proved very different from the dream.

What challenges did David face in his reunion with his birth mother?

David Batty 1:44
The part of her that had been missing for all those years was that baby. not the adult that that baby became. And that's the challenge of our reunion and I think a lot of other reunions.
Annie Kelly 2:01
By the time she died, he hadn't seen her for almost 15 years. And for David, her lonely death shows the lasting damage done by forced adoption.
David Batty 2:12
It's very shocking to realise that this very sort of private, personal, traumatic thing that you've been through is something that is the result of a huge social injustice.
Bridget Philipson 2:34
Before I go on, I know that you and the committee will want to hear that this government will very soon be making a full apology on behalf of the state to all of those affected by historic forced adoption in England.
Annie Kelly 2:46
I want to say how profoundly sorry we are for those who have been affected by the practices at homes that are affiliated to the Church of England. From The Guardian, I'm Annie Kelly. Today in Focus, the painful legacy of forced adoption in the UK.

How did David's early experiences shape his understanding of adoption?

Annie Kelly 3:12
So David Batty, you are an editor and senior news writer at The Guardian. You have just recently written an incredibly personal and really powerful piece about your search for your birth parents and the aftermath. So could we start with the moment when you found out that you were adopted?
David Batty 3:34
So I was seven years old and I don't really remember very much about it. I remember the aftermath, being in the garden shed with my sister who's four years older than me and crying. And I spoke to my dad about this, my adoptive dad about this incident. and asked him what happened when they told me. And he said, well, you didn't really have any reaction. And obviously looking back now, I just think that's incredibly telling that I just completely sort of blanked it or just couldn't take it in.
Annie Kelly 4:09
And did he explain to you how he told you? Did he give you any reference points about their decisions leading up to that moment where they told you as a seven-year-old?
David Batty 4:19
All he told me was that they'd been advised, that's him, my adoptive mum had been advised by the adoption agency that they should tell me at some point between I think the age of five and 10 and just choose the right moment. And it really didn't sound like they'd had any more advice than that.
Annie Kelly 4:39
And was it talked about afterwards?
David Batty 4:42
No, it wasn't something that was discussed. It wasn't like it was actively discouraged. It was just like there was no opportunity to sort of raise it or talk about it. I think my adoptive parents were sort of being led to believe that, you know, you say this and that's it. And it wasn't the case because it's something that very much occupied my mind.
Annie Kelly 5:09
Did you know anything at all about your origin story, about your past?
David Batty 5:14
I did because when I was in my mid-teens, I think around 14 or 15, I began to search through my adoptive parents' bedroom cupboards trying to find my adoption records.

What was the process of searching for his birth mother like?

David Batty 5:28
And I did find this partial record, which included my birth mother's name and my birth father's name.
Annie Kelly 5:36
And so, sorry, was this the first time you knew what their names were? So you were alone, kind of rifling through your parents' paperwork.

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