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Toni and Ryan

How To Be Good At Dirty Talk

24 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What are some tips for effective dirty talk?

0.031 - 3.034 Ryan Jon

You know what would make this dinner and this night better? What?

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3.254 - 10.281

If we left right now and I went down on you. That was really hot. Thank you.

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10.301 - 17.908 Toni Lodge

No nuts. The only nut I'll be seeing is... I'm Liana from San Diego, California in the US. This is Frankie.

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17.928 - 27.017

Hi, I'm Josh. This is Bailey. And this is Watson. We're from Southwest Louisiana in the United States. Hi, I'm Daniel from Adelaide and I approve this podcast.

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29.579 - 44.457 Ryan Jon

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge.

Chapter 2: How do you handle awkward situations at parties?

44.477 - 61.207 Ryan Jon

My name is Ryan. Normal or nah coming up. Fuck yeah. But first, Ben Yong has sent through something that can really change your day. Some days you're feeling pumped up. Other days you might be feeling flat. This is Ben's hack. Oh. He's in an Uber, right?

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61.227 - 61.528 Toni Lodge

Yeah.

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61.968 - 77.574 Ryan Jon

And he puts in his AirPods and sort of goes, do you mind if I make a call? And they go, yeah, no, it's all good. Then he pretends he's talking. I wouldn't be able to do that, I don't think. Then he pretends he's talking to his personal assistant about really big business deals that he's like, obviously not doing.

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Chapter 3: What’s the significance of the 'kiss of Poseidon'?

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78.871 - 98.567 Ryan Jon

I know they've offered me $40 million, but they need to get serious. As they know, it cost me $100 million to get me involved. If they're going to keep mucking around, then tell them not to bother. Cool, what's next? The Prime Minister, tell him I can't get to Canberra, but if he wants me to help with the strategy, he can come into our offices. Yep, sounds great. And then...

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99.29 - 103.035 Toni Lodge

Oh, can you imagine overhearing that? You'd be like, who the fuck is this?

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103.055 - 109.603 Ryan Jon

But then he goes, then you get this little look in the mirror. And like, because the driver kind of looks up and you're like, yeah, he knows.

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110.825 - 111.786 Toni Lodge

Big biz, dog.

111.886 - 113.849 Ryan Jon

Yeah. And that's his like self little pump up.

Chapter 4: How do you navigate neighborly relationships?

113.869 - 117.874 Ryan Jon

And he's like, then I feel like a million dollars because I just kind of pretended like I was for a little bit.

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118.014 - 122.34 Toni Lodge

Do you think that that is like the underwear thing? You know how we're talking about the slutty lingerie?

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122.36 - 124.663 Ryan Jon

It's the slutty lingerie. It's the fun sunglasses.

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124.763 - 129.987 Toni Lodge

I know. And you know what? I woke up this morning and went, oh, old glasses. Isn't that sickening?

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131.308 - 133.951 Ryan Jon

Not in a hot way. Of all those beautiful choices that you had.

133.991 - 137.454 Toni Lodge

I just feel, like, nervous to break the seal of them.

138.555 - 146.603 Ryan Jon

Because once you crack, you can't go back. Yes. Can you put your imaginary AirPods in and tell me, like, pretend I'm driving the Uber?

Chapter 5: What are the dos and don'ts of party etiquette?

147.384 - 149.086 Toni Lodge

I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can.

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149.346 - 149.726 Ryan Jon

You got it.

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152.309 - 182.963 Toni Lodge

Hey, mate, I'm so sorry. Do you mind if I just make a quick call? Oh, yeah, of course. Okay, thank you. Hi. Yeah, I saw that they emailed again. Well, I just think it's crazy that Beyonce keeps calling when I am saying no. Who's her manager again? Is it the same manager as Madonna? I don't know. I've gone down a music route. It's Lady Gaga or nothing.

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Chapter 6: How can you make a party more enjoyable for everyone?

183.283 - 209.858 Toni Lodge

No, I've got Stephanie on the other line. Let me just quickly talk to Stephanie. Hi, Steph. No, I know, Beyonce in the group chat. I know, it's disgusting. I know. And Kamala Harris? Crazy. I don't know. Lady Gaga, I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to call you back because I'm just really struggling in an improv challenge right now.

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211.643 - 212.565 Ryan Jon

See ya.

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212.585 - 215.389 Toni Lodge

Yours was amazing with the prime minister and the strategy.

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215.409 - 220.558 Ryan Jon

No, I like yours though. I also think another angle would be like famous people trying to fuck you.

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Chapter 7: What’s the best way to approach invites to social events?

220.718 - 227.209 Toni Lodge

And then I was like Jason Statham. I'm married. Like that. No, see, mine's too obvious.

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227.229 - 228.331 Ryan Jon

Of all the people in the world.

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228.411 - 228.852 Toni Lodge

I know.

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229.553 - 230.575 Ryan Jon

Jason Statham.

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230.695 - 252.358 Toni Lodge

No, I'm sorry. The Rock. Do you think that people call him... I think they call him Rob. My problem is that the name drop isn't casual enough. Like, because you were doing the... Tell, like, my assistant, the Prime Minister is not a priority for me. Whereas I went, hi, Lady Gaga. Like, that's not... Yeah.

252.599 - 253.581 Ryan Jon

Well, you got... Hey.

Chapter 8: How do you maintain confidence in social situations?

253.949 - 256.052 Ryan Jon

I'll practice.

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256.072 - 258.596 Toni Lodge

I'll ask Charles to drive me home today and I'll practice it with him.

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259.797 - 287.778 Ryan Jon

Lots of people have sent in their normal or nars. There's a thread in our Facebook group or you can submit your stories at tonyandryan.com.au. This is from Guy. Hi, Guy. Putting toilet paper in the toilet bowl before you go to muffle the noise and avoid the kiss of Poseidon. Normal. Normal. I do it a lot. Silences the splash, protects the situation. Why is he here?

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290.741 - 294.385 Toni Lodge

The comeback is greater than the setback.

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294.405 - 298.049 Ryan Jon

What does the kiss of Poseidon mean? It's so funny, but I don't understand it.

298.069 - 313.773 Toni Lodge

I think, given the context, I've never heard it before either, but I'm thinking that it's when the poo splashes and the water hits your bum. So it's just like a little bit of water like... Because you know when that... But... It's like if you do a solid poo, are most of yours runny?

314.113 - 314.634 Ryan Jon

No.

314.654 - 316.977 Toni Lodge

Oh. I just always think you've got the runs.

317.698 - 319.561 Ryan Jon

No, I'm always running to the toilet.

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