This week on Two Dykes and a Mic hosts McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon discuss book fairs, JoJo taking a lover, redemption for Monk, Ray's wedding, Kenz starting a grind train, is lesbianism contagious, honeymoon vibes, Charlie horses at weird times, an Ask a Dyke, growing attraction, Lindsey Lohan Christmas and so much more! Follow @TwoDykesAndAMic @RachelScanlonComedy @MckGoodwin Tello Films https://www.tellofilms.com/ TOUR TICKETS ON SALE : TwoDykesAndAMic.com Cardiff - 4/1 Brighton - 4/2 London - 4/4 Unlock Spotify https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/two-dykes-and-a-mic/subscribe Join Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/TwoDykesAndAMic Tickets to Rachel's solo stand up shows: https://www.rachelscanloncomedy.com/ Want to hear yourself on the podcast? Leave us a voicemail at (818) 540-1487 or write us at [email protected]
Full Episode
We are the greatest dykes in the world. Mackenzie Goodwin. Rachel Scanlon. Worldwide dykes for life. Hey! Two dykes, two dykes, two dykes. One mic, one mic, one mic, one mic. Yeah. Two dykes, two dykes. Who dykes, who dykes? We dykes, we dykes, we dykes. Yeah.
And then we- Oh, cute! Oh my god! Am I flat? Yeah, you look good. Oh my god! Oh my god, I knew I liked this fucking shirt, dude. I look like a hot trans lifeguard. Lifeguard! Who's drowning? Whose daughter's drowning? You know what I mean? Do you say drowning or drown-ding? Where are you at with it? Drowning. No D? No D. There's no D when you spell it. Well, I don't know how to spell it.
I was spelling marshmallow the other day. I was like, are you fucking serious with this A? In the marsh? Aloe. Did you know that? There's no way. No, it's out there like just trying to embarrass me in front of my wife and I'm not having it.
That's how I feel about the word Wednesday. Or the word restaurant. You are never going to catch me spelling the word restaurant.
I can't spell definitely. I can't spell restaurant.
It's always defiantly.
I'll defiantly be there. Same. I always like, oh, for sure, for sure, for sure. People are like, why are you so for sure? And I'm like, because I can't spell definitely get off my case. It's called a learning disability. I went to a different college fair. Look it up.
I miss college fair. College fair was fun. It felt like you were speed dating with your parents. Oh, I love speed dating with my parents. Yeah, same. There's nothing better.
We should go to a college fair together. I would love to do that with you. There's also nothing better than, if I may throw it all the way back, hashtag Captain Underpants, hashtag Anamorphics, Scholastic Book Fair. The best. I'm sorry. Dude. That, if they did a pop-up now for adults that was a Scholastic Book Fair, do you know how much puss we would get?
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