Chapter 1: What is the significance of the birthday episode introduction?
hi friends it's my birthday today so i'm dropping this a little early i just want to say thank you guys for being here two hot takes celebrated its five year birthday in february we didn't really talk about it even and i'm just so excited to be on this next trip around the sun with all of you You ready for the little birthday treat I've got? I'm pulling a couple stories from the Patreon vault.
Give you guys a little sneak peek what we've been doing over there. And if you want more, come on over. I just did a bonus episode with Lauren. Yes, Lauren is still around. Our schedules just have not been lining up. She's a busy working gal. But rest assured, she will be back. And until then, enjoy these bonus stories. Thank you. Thank you. This episode is presented by Duluth Trading Company.
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Mother-in-law says I'm ruining the weird photos she tried to sneak of my new baby. Need to get some feedback on this because it's driving me crazy. My 37 female family has been staying with my husband's 36 male parents, 59 female and 59 male, for a week. And we'll be at their home for another week before we have to head home to get the kids ready to go back to school.
My mother-in-law and I don't necessarily get along, but she's been trying to play nice since I gave birth to our fourth child, a boy, four months ago.
However, I suppose the nice act has ended because she's been stirring the pot and pushing my buttons since we got to their house, rummaging through my clothes, whining that I should bottle feed instead of nursing so she has a chance to feed, quote, her baby the works. No. I've been biting my tongue because my husband loves his family and this is some of the only time we get to see his siblings.
But at the end of this week, mother-in-law storms downstairs while we're eating breakfast and the kids are in the yard playing, claiming we needed to talk.
I go through a mental checklist trying to figure out which one of her household rules I've broken or how I've managed to piss her off this time when she slaps her phone down on the counter and begins scrolling through photos that are all of me and the baby. Photos she apparently took while I wasn't paying attention, as most of them are blurry or from strange angles.
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Chapter 2: What drama unfolds with the mother-in-law's behavior?
It's kind of hilarious. I know that this is not South Park. We're not watching South Park. But you could see them turning this story into one of their little segments because it is just that ridiculous. This is an SNL skit. I don't think it's funny. It's very hurtful. There's a lot of serious things happening. Yeah. But just her, after it happened, still trying to sneak around and do the photos.
I mean, that is just wild. It's one of those things you can't help but laugh to keep from crying because of how ridiculous it is. It's crazy. And to then feel like, this is weird, right? Like, am I crazy? No, you're not crazy. You're not overreacting. Your mother-in-law's a bitch. Disrespectful. Everyone else is enabling her and being cruel. Like... It's really, really strange.
Should we get into the comments? I'm a little scared. Why? I don't know. Top comment, not overreacting. I'd report her pics on social media with your baby and say it's inappropriate child content or something because the pics looked like they've been taken stealthily. It kind of works in your favor, LOL.
I'm sorry people aren't respectful of your wishes, but it's great that your husband is and he seems to be trying to help. Also, side note, you are allowed to be annoyed at somebody body shaming you and ask them to stop. I hate how older generations think they are allowed to pass for things like this, racism, sexism, etc. OP responds, I didn't even think about reporting her photos.
If they manage to pop up on her Facebook, I'll definitely do that to get them taken down. I've told her... Damn. It's sad. And that's one of those things that like hearing comments like that when you're young can really mess with you. Yeah. There's certain things that people have said, good, bad, or somewhere in between that have stuck with me forever. Yeah.
And you just, you never, ever forget it. I know. The bad ones for sure stick out, you know, but I'm saying there's a range and you never know when that's happening in the moment. But it's interesting as you get older when you look back and you're like, yeah, that's stuck with me the whole time. I know.
I feel like that's something that, like, being told I was fat, literally, like, I don't know, what was it, fourth grade, fifth grade playground, by this kid named Tyler, like, that created such an insecurity with me. And, like, looking back at that age, like, you're going through growth spurts. Like, everyone... at that age, just a little pudgy and growing and awkward.
But that, like, probably really started my insecurities. Like, I've had body issues and whatever since. And a lot of it's also from hearing my parents talk about weight and, oh, I'm so fat and, oh, I'm fat and I'm
just like that was very common in my house like my dad still can talk like that he's very sensitive about his weight and being fit and that's why he tries all these diet trends and keto this and whatever weird thing he's on now like it's just it's something that's really affected me so this would be a really hard boundary for me that if we're gonna come and visit you don't talk about weight there's no body shaming and if there is we're leaving yeah
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Chapter 3: How does the family dynamic complicate the situation?
So you'll have to excuse her hogging the frame. Wow. I just need a moment here. What the fuck? Man, that makes you look crazy, too. That makes you look like the only crazy one. Yeah, like you think everyone's going to come to your rescue. Like, oh, no. It doesn't make her look crazy. It shows who she is. You took pictures through a door gap. Did she post that? Oh, my God. Can you imagine?
I mean, I guess I can on this one. In the comments of her post, she was chatting with her sisters about me, derogatory comments on my hair, as my icon and username reflects. I'm a natural redhead, shaming me for my selfishness and obviously comments on my body. Husband flips his shit, demanding that mother-in-law take the photos down or he'd take her phone from her and do it himself.
Apparently there were more photos than even the ones we saw at first, and several of them, my top is fully open, nursing bra unclipped. Mother-in-law is unaware husband is serious and tries teasing him that she thought he wasn't ashamed of being married to a fat woman. Wow. What an actual fucking bitch.
Husband rushes into the kitchen and snatches mother-in-law's phone out of her hands after a brief scuffle, deleting the photos from mother-in-law's Facebook and then taking some of them off her phone altogether before throwing her phone down on the counter and telling her that he was leaving first thing in the morning. Mother-in-law scowls and starts shouting that it isn't fair.
He's taking my side. He responds that he loves me and that it isn't my side versus hers. It's our side versus hers. Nice. I'm pretty out of the loop about all of this at this point. I've been cleaning the house, looking after the baby, and dealing with the cold I was apparently incubating for the first week of our visit. So I get a call from Hubs while I'm doing laundry in the basement.
He's in his car trying to keep himself calm but says that he'll be home early with the kids in the morning and that he wanted to have a discussion with me about our plans moving forward. He tells me what happened. I calm him down and we both head to bed. Fast forward to this morning, and I get up early with the baby to have breakfast and coffee waiting.
Hubs arrives with 14, 10, and 5-year-old at about 6 a.m. We have breakfast, and then the kids peel off to do their own thing. Our daughters leave for their friends' houses, and the 5-year-old goes into the basement den to watch cartoons on the big TV.
Hubs and I talk, and he says he's done with that annual visit to his parents' place and that he's planning to have some one-on-one time with his brother a few times a year instead.
We go over a plan of action in terms of much stricter boundaries, deciding that the kids won't be going to the in-laws' house anymore, and while the in-laws visit us at our house, if they act out, they'll be kicked out. Mother-in-law has been blowing up his phone since he left, but he's ignoring her for the time being and helping me with cleaning.
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Chapter 4: What conclusions are drawn about the mother-in-law's actions?
So we don't have an update. OP did tell her about like the writing and inscriptions in the books. Yeah. And someone was like, did you tell her about that? If she doesn't understand why you're mad and you did tell her that, that might be a lost cause. Yeah. And OP goes, yeah, I did tell her. Shh.
so no this is done that's yeah that's over i i would lose my mind if someone that that's like that's someone's most prized possession if there's like any physical writing from someone that they love who's passed and that's gone now and you're not sorry and like still don't understand there's there's no coming back from that there's no coming back yeah
I see like something like this would cause me such like trauma. And I have people like trauma. It's about books. But like, it's just about having your whole sense of peace and security in your home, like completely taken away from you. And it's like, I don't know if I could leave my house and trust my partner to be with my things. Yeah.
Like I just I would have such my sense of peace would be totally gone. Or to like trust your partner to understand you and like what you really need and what you really want in life. It's like, ooh, like this is just a fundamental difference between us. Well, do we know if they broke up? No, I just went to OP's account. It does still exist. This post is now eight years old. Wow. So it is.
I'm like 2018, the math. Oh, my God. We're getting up there, guys. Yeah, almost 2026. So, yeah, I'm not seeing anything else. I basically read most of the comments. This sucks. I would like an update, though. I'd just be curious if, like, any of the books ever got tracked down. God, it just... This makes me sad. I know. I can't believe she's not, like... Oh my God, I can't believe I did that.
I'm so sorry. I know. That's just crazy. Shitty. Really, really shitty. But okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from r slash marriage. It's two days old. Titled, husband got another woman pregnant. I know I am a villain because I promised my husband three kids, but after the first, I just didn't have it in me. Traumatic birth and depression did a number on me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
She is keeping the child. She contacted me and said she didn't know he was married when they started dating, but she couldn't let him go after she found out six months ago. She said she is very sorry. She wants my husband to be involved and wants me to decide what I want to do with my marriage.
If I want to leave my husband, then she would want to have a relationship with him and will only be involved with my son's life as much as I am comfortable with. What? Why? If she really didn't know that he was married, she wants to continue to have a relationship with it? She found out he was married and still was like, I want him enough. It's fine.
If I want to stay with my husband, then she will end things with my husband for good. but she doesn't want her child to not have a father so she understands that her child will stay with me and she wants me to grant her the same courtesy of only being involved with her child as much as she feels comfortable with.
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Chapter 5: What impact does childhood bullying have on adults?
It's not an adult making a decision to be like that towards another adult. No. It's like that towards a child. Kids are defenseless. Kids are trying to learn how to... you know, go about the world and who they're going to become. And it's like, you're so fragile and impressionable. So any of that stuff that sticks with you for a lifetime.
I remember some stuff that, I mean, it's more often other kids in a bullying way. I remember everything that's been said to me growing up.
Chapter 6: How does family dynamics affect personal relationships?
And I remember all the insecurities I had. And sure, you outgrow some of them. Some you carry forward for sure. And I just can't imagine getting that from an adult. So yeah, I agree. She deserves every bit of it. And I'd be there eating my popcorn, watching it go down. I don't have sympathy for that after the shit you did to me. No way. I know.
Chapter 7: What are the implications of a parent accusing their spouse of murder?
But yes, for the brothers, of course, I don't want them to be in that situation because if she fully crashes out, then that's going to affect them and it's only going to get taken out on them. And yes, we don't want that. I know because there's no mention even how old the brothers are. Yeah.
No mention of age, and it's like, if they're young, that's even harder to have your mom not support you as you are transitioning and doing all of that. I'm trying to look at OP's comments just to see if there's any more insight into this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OP says, no, my dad is a pillar of the community.
Chapter 8: How do social media and public accusations complicate personal issues?
According to what Hilde told my mother-in-law, pillar of the deadbeat community, sure. Yeah, uh-huh. They're so insane. Like they really do deserve each other. He is such a piece of shit. Anyone that's willing to throw their kid under the bus for the sake of a new partner and a new family and a do-over, fuck you, rotten hell. You're a piece of shit. I think it's pathetic.
And all of this has clearly impacted OP. I mean, the first line starts with, so I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. They might have been dumb. They might have been being irresponsible. You might have been an oops baby, an unplanned baby, but you are not a mistake. Like I hate when people like associate themselves with that because like I really relate to that.
Like I was a total oops baby. very unplanned. But I remember just that pain of just the struggle with my bio dad. And so it's hard, but you are still not a mistake. I feel bad for OP. But we do have a couple more comments. OP says the worst part is that she hates my mom so much and my mom isn't perfect by any measure because of the whole child support thing.
When I found out that Hilde had apparently asked my mom not to go for a CS increase because they were going to have a baby and things were tight. In retrospect, that was not my mom's problem. She only went for the increase when Hilde kicked me out of my room. She couldn't be a stay-at-home mom because of the child support apparently.
All she had to do was treat me like a family member, and it would have been fine. She's been stepping on rakes for decades. I love that saying. She's been stepping on rakes. I've never heard stepping on rakes before. It's like you are creating your own issues.
And can't you just envision like the old cartoons of someone, they step their foot on a rake and it comes back and smacks them in the face? I mean, I've done it. I don't have to envision the cartoon. It's happened to me. With those rakes at the farm, those are the kind that do it. It's those sharp twisted metal ones. Yeah, those old timey rakes.
I mean, I think someone that makes all these comments and treats someone this way has always been deeply unhappy. And it's now just really coming to the surface. About like Hilde, the stepmom? Yeah. Being like unhappy? Yeah.
And I think the whole time with the comments she was making to OP and all of us, the way she treated her growing up, and then even her dad, I just can't see them being happy people and having a happy life together. I think it's all just pretend. Yeah. And it's, oh, we're keeping it all together and we're perfect. We buy the nice clothes and you have shit clothes.
When you start comparing yourself and making yourself trying to seem like you're better, I think it's because you're so deeply unsatisfied with your life and you're so unhappy. Because if you are a truly happy, content person, you would not even think that way. I mean, I guess there are some assholes out there that probably do. But in this story, I really don't think...
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