Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga
Activity Overview
Episode publication activity over the past year
Episodes
Uncourted Episode 0: Welcome!
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Say hello to our NEW A Court of Thorns and Roses Podcast! Join us over at Uncourted to follow along! What makes us so qualified to talk about ACOTAR?...
Ep 94 - Breaking Dawn Wrap-Up: THE END
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We've been bitten. That's it. That's the description.
Ep 93 - Breaking Dawn Part 2: The End!
22 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Join us with guest Meg, professional podcast stalker who wormed her way into our lives (aka our friend) to talk about the movie Breaking Dawn Part 2. ...
Ep 92 - Breaking Dawn Part 1: She Got Tits!
24 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this penultimate episode of the main series we watched Breaking Dawn Part 1 and enjoyed the hell out of it. Movie episodes are always some of our f...
Ep 91 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 37-39: Bibble is Your Gender
04 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
WELL WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THE BOOKS! LOOK AT US! From the Volturi non-fight to Alice's triumphant return and to their happily ever after, we a...
Ep 90 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 35-36: Volturi's Six Inch Nails
14 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this penultimate episode of the book (That's right! Next episode will be the final three chapters!) Bella picks up some important paperwork fro...
Ep 89 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 33-34: Max is a Blabbermouth
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Covering chapters 33 and 34 of Breaking Dawn (how are we almost done?) we finally get to see what the hell J Jenks is all about. Bella survives her en...
Ep 88 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 31-32: Smooth Undulations
01 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Vampire Avengers Assemble! Today's episode is all our YA dreams with a cool team of hot vampires with special powers. Bella is special and talente...
Ep 87 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 29-30: Mary Sue Cullen
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Juicy plot in this episode! We read chapters 29 and 30 of Breaking Dawn and start unravelling what reason Alice might have had to leave the Cullens wi...
Ep 86 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 27-28: Happy Jasper
04 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We cover chapters 27 and 28 today with such excitement of Alice breaking a vase and Em breaking a Cam. Jasper enjoys being happy :) After a timeskip o...
Ep 85 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 25-26: Baja Blasted
19 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
For chapters 25-26 of Breaking Dawn, Em and Cam dutifully and viciously rant and rave about Jacob making himself yet again a PROBLEM. Time to isekai i...
Ep 84 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 23-24: The Renesmee Period
05 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 23 and 24 of Breaking Dawn and really just rant almost the entire time. Listen. We're already tired ...
Ep 83 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 21+22: Loch Ness Monster
09 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
WE ARE BACK FOR THE NEW YEAR! In this episode we cover chapters 21 and 22 of Breaking Dawn. We are loving Bella's intro to vampirism! For once she...
Ep. 82 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 19+20: Shrimp Colours
04 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten, Cameron and Emily lose their minds! Breaking Dawn chapters 19 and 20, back in Bella's head again and so many question...
Ep 81 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 18: How to Milk a Vampire
13 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Chapter 18 of Breaking Dawn aka It's BABY TIME. The most horrific chapter yet, gore and blood and trauma all wrapped up in a little demon baby bun...
Ep 80 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 16+17: Unbitten, Uncut and Unloaded
30 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
WE'RE BACK AFTER A SHORT BREAK. Come on we're not actually ending the podcast early. In this episode of Unbitten we are covering chapters 16 a...
Ep 79 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 14+15: End of the Podcast
25 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We cover chapters 14 and 15 of Breaking Dawn in this episode aka the Blonde Joke era. Jacob is a hilarious narrator actually, and Rosalie and Bella ar...
Ep 78 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 12+13: Concept of Unwelcome
13 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 12 and 13 of Breaking Dawn where we are so so so excited to have Leah join the pack. Justice for Leah Cl...
Ep 77 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 10+11: Don't Piss and Tell
28 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten, we cover chapters 10 and 11 of Breaking Dawn. In other words it's where things really start getting FUN! Jacob tries ...
Ep 76 - Breaking Dawn Ch 8+9: Furry Allegations
14 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we cover chapter 8 and 9 of Book 2 of Breaking Dawn. IT'S JACOB TIME. Where the chapter titles are finally interesting and you ca...
Ep 75 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 6+7: Pro Choice Edward
31 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In these final two chapters of Book 1 of Breaking Dawn, Cameron and Emily talk way too much about vomit on account of Bella's vomiting (sorry). We...
Ep 74 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 5: The Birds, The Bees, and The Bruises
18 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
ITS THAT CHAPTER. Post sex sulking Edward. The bliss of Bella and the cringe of Edward. The mormon sex talks. One of those episodes where we really ge...
Ep 73 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 4: Camstains
21 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Coming to you FROM THE SAME HOME it's us! In this very special episode, Cam travels all the way to visit Em, just to talk more about these silly b...
Ep 72 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 2+3: Do Vampires Tuck
05 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today we cover both chapter 2 and 3 of Breaking Dawn. The chapters in which Edward has to go to a bachelor party while Bella thinks about bloodthirsty...
Ep 71 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 1: Grapefruit Method
22 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
WELCOME TO BREAKING DAWN. The beginning of the end of the saga. In this exciting episode we get into why... Stephenie Meyer wrote a good chapter for o...
Ep 70 - Eclipse Movie: Everyone Deserves a Gay Homophobe
08 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It's FINALLY HEREE!!!! And it's a long one!! Join Cam, Em, AND a special hairball guest- our editor- for our Eclipse moie episode! We discuss ...
Ep 69 - Bree Tanner pt 2: Maybe We're Both Stupid!
17 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Cam and Em return once again for more Bree Tanner. We continue to discover how much better S Meyer is at writing shorter books, we begin to stan Fred,...
Ep. 68 - Bree Tanner pt 1: Squishy Cells
27 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we cover the first half of the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. While questioning Stephenie Meyer's ability to write teenagers, w...
Ep 67 - Eclipse Ch. 27 and Epilogue: Let's Finish This Thing!
27 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Em and Cam are eternally relieved to finally finish another installment of The Twilight Saga! We wrap up this third book with the closest thing SM wil...
Ep 66 - Eclipse Ch 26: Paging Dr. Fang
13 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode of Unbitten we discuss Chapter 26 of Eclipse. We are so very tired of Jacob and his manipulation and Bella and her guilt. In fact we s...
Ep 65 - Eclipse Ch 25: Vampire Flavored Incense
31 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In a characteristically Stephanie Meyer moment, this book continues to place all its drama in the last 4 chapters. One of our favs (or least favs) is ...
Ep 64 - Eclipse Ch 24: Milk Bags and Marbles
13 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We are back at it again with more Eclipse! We get into the crazy stuff today, including a final confrontation with a long-established villain, Bella's...
Ep 63 - Eclipse Ch. 23: Everyone Sucks but Seth
26 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it's time to listen to an episode where everyone makes bad decisions! We get very angry at Bella and even more ...
Ep 62 - Eclipse Ch. 22: The Adventures of Icy Hot
13 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
After a bit of a break due to scheduling issues, Em and Cam return for chapter 22 of Eclipse! We discuss jealousy between bros, ponder Jacob's possibl...
Ep 61 - Eclipse Ch. 21: Jacob is a Boner Killer
14 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In chapter 21 of Eclipse, we are unhappy to report that Alice behaves badly with guilt tripping over the wedding. Edward takes Bella on a little walk ...
Ep 60 - Eclipse Ch 20: Cam Gets Cancelled
31 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Chapter 20 of Eclipse aka the sexy times chapter (almost) where things get as spicy as they can get for a Mormon-written novel. Truly some unhinged no...
Ep 59 - Eclipse Ch. 19: Poptarts are Forever!
18 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Hoo boy! The girls are back with more Twilight fun! Join us as we explore Bella and Edward making a compromise, the absolute DRAMA that is the wolf pa...
Ep 58 - Eclipse Ch. 18 Jasper Finally Matters
03 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Cam survived her illness so we're finally back with a new episode covering a fun chapter of vampire fighting tactics. Who knew Jasper would suddenly b...
Ep 57 - Eclipse Ch. 17: Joe's Basement
05 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In chapter 17 of Eclipse we discuss the AUDACITY of Jacob to even show up to this party. Cam makes some more predictions regarding this vampire army. ...
Ep 56 - Eclipse Ch. 16: Roach Wars
15 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Starting off with a bang for chapter 16 which is funny to say for such an uninteresting chapter. We mostly complain about the pacing because who cares...
Ep 55 - Eclipse Ch 15: Jacob is the WORST
01 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Trigger warning: Talk of sexual assault throughout the episode. Join us in episode 55 of Unbitten: Jacob is the WORST aka CHEEKS OUT PISSIN! In this e...
Ep 54 - Eclipse Ch 14: Deplatform Us
18 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
For this week's episode we answer some patron AMAs, then try to dig into what is one of the worst chapters of the book so far because Stephenie Meyer ...
Ep 53 - Eclipse Ch 13: Piss Man Backstory
04 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Join Em and Cam as we explore Chapter 13 of Eclipse! In this episode, we explore Jasper’s backstory, with all its weird and problematic twists and t...
Ep 52 - Eclipse Ch 12: Sour Cream
20 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
After a short break we are back and RECORDING IN THE SAME ROOM with live studio audience - Em's girlfriend (perhaps kidnapped and held hostage to fina...
Ep 51 - Eclipse Ch 11: Dismembered Vampire Dick
23 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
This is the episode where we get all the old Quileute legends and how the werewolves came to be. More importantly though, this is the episode where S....
Ep 50 - Eclipse Ch 10: Kristen Stewart on a Motorcycle
09 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to Unbitten! Join Em and Cam as they simp over Kristen Stewart, make fun of Bella for having no hobbies, and question how Jacob managed t...
Ep 49 - Eclipse Ch 9: Target Haul
25 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
After a break for ~Aries Season~ we are back with another episode covering Chapter 9 of Eclipse. In this episode we discuss how Charlie is losing his ...
Ep 48 - Eclipse Ch 8: Magically Assigned Predator
28 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten, we get the fun (discomfort) of discussing imprinting in more depth because the Quil and Claire thing happened. It's groom...
Ep 47 - Eclipse Ch 7: Rosalie's Girlboss Moment
14 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Today we cover a heavy but interesting chapter! TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault, physical violence, r*pe -- time stamps: 22:15-30:00. Em and Cam discu...
Ep 46 - Eclipse Ch 6: Piss Bottles
28 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten Cam and Em talk romance and dating advice vis a vis blood pendants. Also, once again, who is Austin? It's no surprise we'r...
Ep 45 - Eclipse Ch 5: Hiddies, Widdies, and Ciddies
15 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Em and Cam discuss chapter five of Eclipse, which includes some CRAZY new lore, a wild Sam x Emily origin story, and another Bella te...
Ep 44 - Eclipse Ch 4: What that Vussy Do?
31 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Covering chapter 4 of Eclipse this week, we spend more time making fun of Stephenie Meyer's overall lack of writing skill, from Bella's overly whiny '...
Ep 43 - Eclipse Ch 3: Edward's Hairball
17 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We are back after the holidays with Chapter 3 of Eclipse, where we talk about Jacob's height (again), Edward acting like a cat in more ways than one, ...
Ep 42 - Eclipse Ch 2: Marble Statue Fetish
20 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Jumping into chapter 2 of Eclipse this week, we are right back to being mad at the men in Bella's life. Cam makes some predictions about Alice's secre...
Ep 41 - Eclipse Preface and Ch 1: Bella Deals With Man-Pain
06 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It feels like years since we started New Moon, but we are finally done and moving on to book 3: Eclipse! Join us as we reiterate Charlie's stupidity a...
Ep 40 - New Moon Movie: Daddy Sorry Daddy Sorry Ft. Goblet of Wine
22 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
After finishing the book at last we finally get to watch the movie for New Moon! Joining us for this special movie episode are Charlie and Hannah from...
Ep 39 - New Moon Ch 24 and Epilogue: Edward like, REALLY sucks
08 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Oh my god!! We finally finished another book! Join us as we round out our reading of New Moon with, you guessed it, getting really annoyed with Edward...
Ep. 38 - New Moon Ch 23: Call Your Friend a MILF
18 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you wanted us to yell about Edward for almost an entire episode then this is it! From so called apologies, to weird guilt tripping we are HERE to c...
Ep 37 - New Moon Ch 22: Bella Does Cocaine
04 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Covering chapter 22 of New Moon this week which means talking about anything other than the book! Casting choices for the new Mario movie are question...
Ep 36 - New Moon Ch 21: Vampires are like Onions
20 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We are done prerecording and are back to our usually scheduled nonsense! Join Em and Cam as we discuss our new living situations, dive into some fun V...
Ep. 35 - New Moon Ch. 20: Eddie is BACK
06 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Join us on episode 35 where we talk about some actual good media for about 5 minutes before remembering we are a Twilight podcast. Cam declares she wi...
Ep. 34 - New Moon Ch 19: Sheeeeeesh
23 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Because of contractual obligations we did have to do an episode about the worst chapter in this book, chapter 19 which is nothing but a series of flig...
Ep 33 - New Moon Ch. 18: Bella IS Stinky
09 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapter 18 of New Moon and discuss Bella's constant need to apologize, how Jacob is a shitty friend and Stephenie...
Ep 32 - New Moon Ch 17: Team Bella Needs Therapy
26 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Unbitten, we discuss chapter 17 of New Moon and approaching plot! Alice is here and we are so glad for it. We question how Alice's ...
Ep 31 - New Moon Ch 16: Hot Take! Sucks to be Dead!
12 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Em and Cam talk about literally anything other than New Moon. Okay, well, we do talk about New Moon. But there are lots of tangents, includ...
Ep 30 - New Moon Ch. 15: Dad Bod Werewolves
28 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this spicy episode covering chapter 15 of New Moon we get into a deep discussion on how to improve werewolves, thoughts toxic relationships and als...
Ep 29 - New Moon Ch. 14: Cam Galaxy Brains
14 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Cam figures out the entire plot of the series. For real. Go listen, we're not even kidding.
Ep 28 - New Moon Ch. 13: Man in Manual Wheelchair
31 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Cam and Em release their full unhinged energy in discussing chapter 13 where we spend more time talking about anything else but the book. Emily does s...
Ep 27 - New Moon Ch 12: Bella Decides to Think
17 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back! This week, both of our idiot protagonists decide to make attempts at intelligent thought, Bella's dreams get too OP, and Jacob has a str...
Ep 26 - New Moon Ch. 11: New Man Same Problems
03 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Join us in an (finally) exciting chapter with questionable cult activities, a confrontation in the woods, a man who hates that he's a monster - wait i...
Ep 25 - New Moon Ch 10: Plot, FINALLY!
19 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Cam and Em are both a year older and a year dumber, and they are back to talk more about New Moon. In Chapter 10 we finally get some plot, run into a ...
Ep 24 - New Moon Ch 9: Sweaty Swamp Hands
05 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's ARIES SEASON!!! Welcome back for a chapter filled with awkward encounters and secondhand embarrassment - that's right, it's chapter 9 of New Moon...
EP 23 - New Moon Ch 8: Sam Uley T-Posing in the Background
22 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Once again we are asking for Bella to get some help. Chapter 8 takes us through a lesson on motorcycle parts, Cam simping for shirtless Jacob, and a 5...
Ep 22 - New Moon Ch 7: Straights on Thin Fucking Ice
08 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In episode 22 we cover Chapter 7 of New Moon: Repetition. There's a lot to unpack in this episode: primarily learning that Emily doesn't know how to m...
Ep 21 - New Moon Ch 6: Bella's Dump Truck Ass
22 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Join us as we cover chapter 6 and delve into why we are now Team Jacob, Bella's depression and why Emily is so fragile she teared up three times in th...
Ep 20 - New Moon Ch 5: Billy is a Dance Mom
08 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Somebody please get Bella some therapy!!! Or she can just be a bad bitch and get a motorcycle. Basically the same thing, right? Thank you to Jacob Bla...
Ep 19 - New Moon Ch 4: The Return of the Filler
25 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In which we somehow spend an hour talking about a 25 page chapter where almost nothing happens except for Bella being depressed and reckless. We since...
Ep 18 - New Moon Ch 3: Real F*ckboi Hours
11 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Enjoy what is essentially an hour long rant about Edward Cullen being trash and MEN DON'T BE LIKE THIS! We might have shed a real actual emotional tea...
Ep 17 - New Moon Chs. 1+2: Oh lore?
14 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
New book time!! Em's cat Fergus has many cameos, we discuss once again just how hot and good Carlisle and Alice are, and Cam continues to realize just...
Unbitten Episode 16: Twilight Movie Part 3
30 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The finale episode of Twilight! Baseball scene, the weird acrobatics of the ballet studio fight, and questionable 2000s fashion! Thanks again to our g...
Unbitten Episode 15: Twilight Movie Part 2
16 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Simp city 2: electric boogaloo aka Twilight movie pt. 2 with special guest Lauren!
Unbitten Episode 14: Twilight Movie Part 1
03 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Finally it is here! Part one of delving into the movie universe of Twilight and the epitome of Robert Pattinson simping. Joining us for these movie ep...
Unbitten Episode 13: Twilight Epilogue
19 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We cap off the Twilight book by talking about prom for half the episode, and then Cameron has a coughing fit. Don't worry, she lives! But will Bella l...
Unbitten Episode 12: Twilight Ch. 23 and 24
03 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The end is near, chapters 23 and 24 with the good angst, heart monitor shenanigans and questions of Edward's sexual prowess.
Unbitten Episode 11: Twilight Ch. 21 and 22
12 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In chapters 21 and 22, we finally have real plot! It's a truly exciting time! Also, Warrior Cats, again.
Unbitten Episode 10: Twilight Ch. 19 and 20
29 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Join Cameron and Emily in such wonderings as: Can you ferment blood? Can bears turn into vampire bears? It's chapters 19 and 20 of Twilight!
Unbitten Episode 9: Twilight Ch. 17 and 18
23 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
WE HAVE NEW MICROPHONES!!!! Oh, and also, sh*t hits the fan.
Unbitten Episode 8: Twilight Ch. 15 and 16
14 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Chapters 15 and 16 take us on a journey to the Cullen house. ....Wait how old is Daddy Carlisle?!
Unbitten Episode 7: Twilight Ch. 13 and 14
08 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Finally the meadow scene and sparkly boy! It's chapters 13 and 14 of Twilight. Join us in hotly debated Milk Discourse, the mechanics of Vampire sex, ...
Unbitten Episode 6: Twilight Ch. 11 and 12
01 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Closet door drama, The 1997 film Gattaca and sexual tension, and more questionable chapter titles. Join Cameron and Emily on chapters 11 and 12 of Twi...
Unbitten Episode 5: Twilight Ch. 9 and 10
25 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This week we discuss chapters 9 and 10 of Twilight and discover who is the "can math gay" and who is the "can't math gay". One thing is for sure and t...
Unbitten Episode 4: Twilight Ch. 7 and 8
18 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Join us as we talk about Chapters 7 and 8 of Twilight.
Unbitten Episode 3: Twilight Ch. 5 and 6
11 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Blood typing OMG and... Jacob is THAT young?
Unbitten Episode 2: Twilight Ch. 3 and 4
02 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We hit up chapters 3 and 4. We are snarky as usual. There are Warrior Cats references and a killer Snape impression. It's Unbitten Episode two!
Unbitten Episode 1: Twilight Ch. 1 and 2
02 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this first episode of our new podcast, join Cameron (first time reader) and Emily (long time fan) in reading Twilight chapters 1 and 2.