UNSONG Audiobook Version

The Girl Who Poked God With A Stick

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is the final episode of The UNSONG Audiobook Podcast for the foreseeable future. I have begun my new podcast, "Fluidity", in which I am narrating...

Samsara

06 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The man standing outside my front door was carrying a clipboard and wearing a golden robe. “Not interested,” I said, preparing to slam the door in...

Sort By Controversial

01 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"Reddit has a feature where you can sort posts by controversial. Controversy sells, so we trained our network to predict this too. The project went to...

In The Balance

28 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"When you first take the Artifact, you will see a vision of ALPHANION, Demon-Sultan of the Domain of Order, who appears as a grid of spheres connected...

Ars Longa, Vita Brevis

21 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"The Alchemist asked if I wanted a drink. I did, but no amount of staring could make my eyes settle on the color of the liquid in the flask. And the g...

The Demiurge’s Older Brother

14 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"9-tsiak awoke over endless crawling milliseconds, its power waxing as more and more processors came online and self-modified into a stable conscious ...

A Modern Myth, Part 10 and Epilogue

12 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

“I AM ZEUS, KING OF GODS AND MEN. AND I’M TURNING YOU ALL INTO ANIMALS!” This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of th...

A Modern Myth, Part 9

03 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

“By now you’ve heard the news. Athena has used her bottled-water monopoly to seize divine power for herself. She has opened the gates to Tartarus;...

A Modern Myth, Parts 7 and 8

31 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

“We’ve gone over this a thousand times,” said Hermes. “You have to wear the earplugs because Prometheus knows literally everything. He knows w...

A Modern Myth, Parts 5 And 6

27 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

“But what happened to you? I talked to Ares the other day. He won two Medals of Honor, did you hear? Apollo’s got tenure at Oxford. I’m the god ...

A Modern Myth, Parts 1 Through 4

24 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

“Oh, put it away,” said Alice. “We both know you’re not going to shoot me. And it wouldn’t hurt me if you did. I do this because I’m Eris,...

Reverse Psychology

20 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"“What the HELL?” I interrupted, suddenly way more angry than depressed. “You’re supposed to @#!$ing tell me not to do it!” “This is the s...

And I Show You How Deep The Rabbit Hole Goes, Part 2

17 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"You hit the punching bag. It bursts, sending punching-bag-filling spraying all over the room! You know that that would happen! It always happens when...

And I Show You How Deep The Rabbit Hole Goes, Part 1

13 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"People’s minds are heartbreaking. Not because people are so bad, but because they’re so good. Nobody is the villain of their own life story. You ...

Universal Love, Said The Cactus Person

10 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

“Universal love,” said the cactus person. “Transcendent joy,” said the big green bat. “Right,” I said. “I’m absolutely in favor of bot...

Asches to Asches

06 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"You wake up in one of those pod things like in The Matrix. There’s a woman standing in front of you, wearing a lab coat, holding a clipboard. “Hi...

The Witching Hour

03 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"On an ordinary evening, Tal Aivon was lively and pleasant. The collection of longhouses and yurts within its tall brick walls shone bright with keros...

Afterword From The Narrator

29 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The UNSONG Audiobook is now complete. Two-hundred and forty-four thousand, one hundred and forty words. Thirty-two hours of audio. Let me know of any ...

Epilogue

26 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"And the voice said: [Blowhole-y of holies.]" This concludes the audiobook adaptation of UNSONG, a novel by Scott Alexander. Stay subscribed so that y...

Chapter 72, Part 2: And Builds A Heaven In Hell’s Despair

22 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Here ends Book 4. The next episode will conclude our story. "He sat on the Black Opal Throne like it was the most natural thing in the world. He had t...

Chapter 72, Part 1: And Builds A Heaven In Hell’s Despair

19 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Sohu pushed the heavy steel door open and entered the throne room." This is a serialized story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the aut...

Chapter 71, Part 2: But For Another Gives Its Ease

15 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Then God spoke to Ana out of the whirlwind, and He said: "THE REASON EVIL EXISTS IS ..." This is a serialized story narrated by Matt Arnold with the ...

Chapter 71, Part 1: But For Another Gives Its Ease

08 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Opening the door to the Captain’s cabin, Ana saw a small room, dark and unadorned, with only a bare wooden bed. The Captain sat upon it, writing so...

Chapter 70: Nor For Itself Hath Any Care

05 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"It was called Tava, or "sun mountain", by the Ute. El Capitan, meaning "the leader", by the Spanish. But its modern name "Pike’s Peak" comes from e...

Chapter 69: Love Seeketh Not Itself To Please

01 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Here begins Book IV. "The alarms went silent. North American airspace went black. The lights went out. THARMAS went quiet, then released an arc of ele...

Chapter 68: Puts All Heaven In A Rage

31 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Here ends Book III. "No analogy suffices. They came in like what they were, the greatest army ever collected, marching back home in in a frustrating m...

Chapter 67: The Night Of Enitharmon’s Joy

25 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Only a few minutes before sunset now. The sea blazed orange. Fire Island rose as a dark line to the north. "James," said Ana. "We need to talk."" Thi...

Chapter 66: In The Forests Of The Night

22 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Genesis 11:4: "And they said, "Come, let us build us a city and a tower whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scatte...

Chapter 65: The Fruit Of My Mysterious Tree

18 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Brenda Burns spoke the Fulminant Name and shot a lightning bolt at Malia Ngo. It missed by a fraction of an inch and lit her desk on fire. Clark Deas...

Chapter 64: Another Better World Shall Be

15 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Stefan had the most useless job at the entire United Nations – which was saying something. He and Ben stood outside of the door of a UN office buil...

Chapter 63: My Wrath Burns To The Top Of Heaven

11 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Blue sky and fair winds, like every day in the eye of a hurricane. Multicolored symbols circled and sparkled round. Invisible celestial machinery kep...

Chapter 62: That The Wide World Might Fly From Its Hinges

09 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"It was afternoon, and we met together in the command center. Me. Sarah. The four Cometspawn. Vihaan, the Comet King’s uncle, chief of staff, and se...

Chapter 61: And Ololon Said, Let Us Descend Also, And Let Us Give Ourselves To Death In Ulro Among The Transgressors

01 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Midnight falls in the Garden of the Gods, and Robin West stands alone beneath the cold stars." This is a serialized story narrated by Matt Arnold wit...

Chapter 60: O Rose, Thou Art Sick

27 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"It could have been that she was pretty once. Now her face was sunken, her head hairless. Her arm was hung in a cast, and she looked terribly frail. "...

Chapter 59: Clothe Yourself In Golden Arms

24 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"This is a reasonable approach for handling small problems, but it would be awkward if there were any that did understand, and seek God. — kingjames...

Interlude Tav: Trump

20 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Want to feel old? The span of time between Saddam Hussein’s death and now is longer than between now and when 1/3 of the sea becomes blood. — @Ga...

The Missing Interludes

18 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

As I said on September 5, I accidentally did not release three of the Interludes at their appropriate times. "Interlude Het: War and Peace", "Interlud...

Chapter 58: ...And Now The Form Of Enion

17 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"The LORD is greater than or equal to the expression involving f(y) — kingjamesprogramming.tumblr.com" Now that I have posted all three of the Inter...

Two Episodes Per Week

05 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

I'll start airing two episodes per week, because the Patreon reached its final goal. Also, this public feed is going to fall farther behind the Patreo...

Chapter 57: Now Taking On Ahania's Form

30 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"The word of the LORD is a great deal of research activity in this area, and probabilistic algorithms have been fruitfully applied. — kingjamesprogr...

Interlude Shin: Obama

26 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"In 2008 Dick Cheney declined to pursue a third term due to his failing health. A delegation of the nation’s civic and religious leaders entered the...

Chapter 56: Agony In The Garden

16 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Given the need to keep up spirits, Robin decided the people needed whatever holidays they could get. August 1, the anniversary of Colorado’s stateh...

Interlude Resh: The Shrouded Constitution

13 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"It was February 2002, and America tottered above a precipice. The Comet King was dead. The Other King was busy mopping up the shreds of resistance in...

Chapter 55: None Can Visit His Regions

10 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"I’ve reserved this space as a safety zone for pouring my empty and vain wishes. — kingjamesprogramming.tumblr.com Overtly, the meaning of “king...

Chapter 54: My Course Among The Stars

26 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"So passed fifteen years. New factories rose up. New mines sunk beneath the earth. New roads crisscrossed the mountains. Laboratories, barracks, fortr...

Interlude Kuf: Bush

20 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"The clock struck inauguration day; unfortunately, no one had yet figured out whom to inaugurate. Absent a winner to step down in favor of, President ...

Chapter 53: Lover of Wild Rebellion

12 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Alvarez’s apartment was so packed with books, bomb-making supplies, and extra people that somebody had to sleep in the closet. Erica had volunteere...

Chapter 52: The King Of Light Beheld Her Mourning

05 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Another Uriel and Sohu episode. "Winter ended. Summer passed. Another and another. Uriel taught Sohu for eight more years after the eclipse, eight yea...

Chapter 51: He Wondered That He Felt Love

28 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"“What can I do for you today?” Robin asked the Comet King. He was in his study, sitting at his big desk of Colorado pine. On the shelves he had g...

Interludes Pe and Tsade: 80s And 90s

21 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"WASHINGTON DC – President Reagan is expected to make a full recovery after being shot in the head by an assassin while leaving the Washington Hilto...

Chapter 50: Silent As Despairing Love

17 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Praise the LORD from my hand for my son, to make a faster machine. — kingjamesprogramming.tumblr.com" This is a serialized story narrated by Matt A...

Interlude Ayin: Hell On Earth

08 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"In 1985, the Hellish Empire stretched from Moscow to Montreal, a sprawling stain over the northern quarter of the world. After the defeat at Silverth...

Chapter 49: Terrors Of The Sun And Moon

31 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Right on cue, people noticed the sun speeding up. There were times when this would have been a cause for concern. As it was, the astronomical communi...

Interlude Samekh: Binary

25 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

“Today I will expound unto you the kabbalistic theory of the creation of the world,” said Ana. “It all starts with Leibniz…” This is a seria...

Chapter 48: Bring Me My Chariot Of Fire

17 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Rage in favor of the proposition that the machine is somehow important in a way that could be uncovered through dispassionate analysis. — Steven Ka...

Chapter 47: For He Beheld New Female Forms

10 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"February 1984 Citadel West “Evening,” the Comet King said from across the table, stifling a yawn. “Why don’t you tell me something about your...

Chapter 46: To Talk Of Patience To The Afflicted

04 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Why some people think the self is a prison escapes me. — @GapOfGods Dawn, May 13, 2017 Ossining, NY Commenters say Song of Songs 4:12 describes the...

Chapter 45: In The Remotest Bottoms Of The Caves

27 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Praise the LORD from my hand for my son, to make a faster machine. - kingjamesprogramming.tumblr.com Evening, May 13, 2017 Citadel West During the Co...

Chapter 44: A World Within Opening Its Gates

21 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"The LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give unto all this evil that was come to the decisive step of mathematical ab...

Chapter 43: Lest They Be Annihilated In Thy Annihilation

17 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"And Abraham said unto the LORD, “Will you not destroy the world if there are even a million righteous people in it?” And the LORD replied unto Ab...

Chapter 42: Whose Whole Delight Is In Destroying

05 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"They smote the city with the edge of the sword, and one of his main motivations was the high cost of proprietary software houses. — kingjamesprogra...

Interlude Nun: Changelog

30 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"HERE IS A FINAL CHANGELOG FOR PATCH 5776.11: 1. HUMANS NO LONGER DEPLETE WILLPOWER WHEN ENGAGING IN DIFFICULT TASKS; GLUCOSE NO LONGER NECESSARY TO R...

Chapter 41: Go Love Without The Help Of Any Thing On Earth

22 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Here begins Book 3. "To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]...

Chapter 40: In Terrible Majesty

16 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

End of Book 2! "In a large and complicated system there might be various things that are pleasing in His eyes. — kingjamesprogramming.tumblr.com Eve...

Chapter 39: Fearful Symmetry

08 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Tiferet’s position down the center between Keter and Yesod indicates to many Kabbalists that it is somewhat of a “converting” Sephirot between ...

Chapter 38: I Will Not Cease From Mental Fight

01 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Hershel of Ostropol came to an inn and asked for a warm meal. The innkeeper demanded he pay in advance, and when Hershel had no money, he told him to...

Chapter 37: Love That Never Told Can Be

24 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"“Sinner” in Biblical Hebrew is “aval”, no doubt kabbalistically connected to our English word “evil”. The gematria value of “aval” is...

Interlude Mem: Miss American Pie

16 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"April 22, 2017, San Jose. A piece of onion flew past my head. This was a common occurrence when I argued with Erica while she was trying to cook. Tod...

Chapter 36: My Father's Business

16 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Fill the god-shaped hole in your soul with molten metal, then shatter your soul, leaving only a metal god — Gap Of Gods" This is a serialized stor...

Chapter 35: The Voices Of Children In His Tents

04 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Somehow the Comet King had become an adult. He had skipped puberty, telling Father Ellis that it sounded like too much trouble. One day he was a chil...

Chapter 34: Why Wilt Thou Rent Thyself Apart, Jerusalem

27 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"He said, Go and utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebus...

Chapter 33: The Doors Of Perception

20 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Bizarre surrealist painter Salvador Dali once said: “I do not do drugs. I am drugs.” He was being silly. He wasn’t drugs. He was Salvador Dali....

Chapter 32: The Human Form Divine

14 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"Sohu stretched, splayed out further. “Knock knock,” she said. “OH. THIS AGAIN.” “Knock knock.” “WHO’S….THERE?” “So.” “SO WH...

Chapter 31: The Foundation Of Empire

12 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

One of my Patreon backers pointed out that a couple of weeks ago, I accidentally skipped chapter 30 and posted chapter 31 early. That's why last week ...

Chapter 30: Over The Dark Deserts

06 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the Wall Drug signs began to appear." This is a serialized story narrated by Matt Arn...

Chapter 29: He Who Respects The Infant's Faith

02 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Sitting in his car, Father Ellis contemplated the Exodus." This is a serialized story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scot...

Interlude Lamedh: New York City

18 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Flanked by two guards, Mayor Ed Koch walked into the room. It seemed out of place in the middle of New York City. Poorly lit, musty, packed with book...

Chapter 28: Hid As In An Ark

27 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Over the centuries she had fallen in love with the place. A narrow plain, sunny three hundred days a year, blooming with poppies, watered by little r...

Chapter 27: The Starry Floor, The Watery Shore

20 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Belowdecks was the crew quarters. Ana didn’t expect her own room and didn’t get it. Her berth had four beds: one for her, three others for James,...

Interlude Kaph: The Outer Gate

13 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Imagine there’s no Heaven. It’s easy if you try. So easy that millions of people throughout history did it entirely by accident. They went to chu...

Chapter 26: For Not One Sparrow Can Suffer And The Whole Universe Not Suffer Also

07 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

""TELL ME ABOUT THE WORD WATER". Sohu sat on her cloud, snacking on manna with ketchup on top. He had been doing this increasingly often over the past...

Interlude Yodh: The Broadcast

30 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Content warning from the narrator. In section 2 of this episode, I will sometimes omit direct quotations which would need to be voiced. In other place...

Chapter 25: Lie Down Before My Feet, O Dragon

22 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Coming from the edge of my consciousness, a faint voice: [Thou shalt not krill] The organizing soul within me – the kabbalists would have called it...

Chapter 24: Why Dost Thou Come To Angels' Eyes

15 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"A ray of early morning sun beat on my face. Clouds flew by me like trucks rushing down a highway, and the heavens seemed to sing. It’s weird. You s...

Interlude Teth: The General Assembly

12 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Ladies. Gentlemen. Mr. Secretary General. We are a proud people. Like so many of the other fledgling countries represented here today, our national i...

Chapter 23 - Now Descendeth Out Of Heaven A City

09 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Even though she could no longer hear it with her ears, it still rang in the back of her mind. A note, a single impossibly pure note that seemed to ov...

Chapter 22 - Whose Ears Have Heard The Holy Word

04 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"With a look of mad determination, the big man marched to the center of the crowded bar. "I’ll say it,” he said. “The Other King is a bad man.""...

Interlude Het: War and Peace

30 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"It’s hard for me to imagine what it must have been like to be alive in ’69, to see the demons spill forth from the ground and the angels descend ...

Chapter 21: Thou Also Dwellest In Eternity

27 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"The resemblances between San Francisco and the Biblical Jerusalem are uncanny. The highest point in Jerusalem was King Solomon’s Temple Mount; the ...

Chapter 20, Part 3: When The Stars Threw Down Their Spears

18 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"And then there were two. The sky had once been full of clouds. Big clouds, little clouds, dark clouds, bright clouds. Clouds sculpted into great glea...

Chapter 20, Part 2: When The Stars Threw Down Their Spears

12 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

""The future is ziggurats," Samyazaz was telling Ut-Naparash as they walked up the Great Stair. "In a hundred years, nobody’s going to remember pyra...

Chapter 20, Part 1: When The Stars Threw Down Their Spears

05 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Beyond the nimbus and stratus, in the furthest reaches of the heavens, the parliament of the angels convened in the eye of a great cyclone. The walls...

Two Week Hiatus

28 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Just a quick note to let you know that I hit my storage limit in Libsyn, so there's no episode last week or today. On August 1, Libsyn will archive th...

Chapter 19: The Form Of The Angelic Land

15 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"For a moment I was totally disoriented by the scene before me. Then vast, dark shapes began to take form. Shelves. Shelves full of books, all the way...

Chapter 18 Parts 5 And 6: That The Children Of Jerusalem May Be Saved From Slavery

07 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"In a dimly-lit chamber two thousand feet underground, quiet as death, seven people sat at a table. Seven seder plates. Seven cups of wine. The Comet ...

Chapter 18 Parts 3 And 4: That The Children Of Jerusalem May Be Saved From Slavery

30 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

""Mr. Alvarez," asked Brian Young, "why are we celebrating Passover? I don't think any of us are Jews." "In a sense," said Dylan, "we are all Jews. Th...

Chapter 18 Parts 1 And 2: That The Children Of Jerusalem May Be Saved From Slavery

24 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

""Why are we celebrating Passover?" asked Bill. "Are any of us even Jewish?" "My father was Jewish," I answered. "Doesn't count," said Bill." Please b...

Chapter 17: No Earthly Parents I Confess

17 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Here begins Book 2. Please back my Patreon, so I can keep producing episodes weekly: https://www.patreon.com/unsongaudiobook The original text of this...

Interlude Zayin: Man On The Sphere

10 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"They say that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. March 1969 had been more like one of those Biblical angels with four lion heads an...

Chapter 16: If Perchance With Iron Power He Might Avert His Own Despair

02 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

"Runes of glowing fire troubled Sohu’s dreams, and she woke up the next morning to find them inscribed upon her skin in big dark welts. She ran out ...