Upbuilding The Self
Episodes
Our New Podcast: The Upbuild Enneagram Library
18 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We are excited to share that we just launched a new podcast called The Upbuild Enneagram Library. It offers a deep and practical exploration of the En...
The Ego Trap of Parenting
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Carl Jung famously stated, "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents." In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, a...
[Part 2] Book Distribution: Timeless Lessons Learned By Two Monks on the Streets and Subways of New York City
29 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In Part 2, Hari Prasada and Rasanath vividly share what it was like in the heat of the moment distributing books in the streets and subways of New Yor...
[Part 1] Book Distribution: Timeless Lessons Learned By Two Monks on the Streets and Subways of New York City
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve spent time in New York City, or many other cities around the world, you’ve likely seen monks on street corners or in subways, holding ou...
Self-Preservation, Sexual, or Social: Which Instinct Drives You? Unlocking a Key Piece of the Personality Puzzle Through the Enneagram
17 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Each of us is wired with a specific hierarchy of three core instinctual drives, shaping how we move through the world. The Instincts (sometimes referr...
Is Compartmentalization Really a Good Thing?
22 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Many of us pride ourselves on our ability to compartmentalize. We like to keep our personal and professional lives separate, push aside difficult emot...
Why Feedback Fails…and How to Make It Work
05 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us are terrible at feedback. It’s awkward, forced, or worse, completely ineffective. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Vipin break down wh...
Blame: Our Addiction To It and What To Do Instead
16 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why do we blame even when we know it’s harmful? It’s a behavior so woven into our daily experience that most of us hardly notice it, let alone que...
What If I’m Not Fulfilled At Work?
29 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work, yet so many people feel dissatisfied with their jobs. In this episode, Michael, Vipin, and ...
Coaching vs. Therapy, The Tension Between Ego and Success, and Spirituality in Coaching—Michael Sloyer on the Lovelink Podcast
11 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today, we’re sharing something a little different. Michael was recently a guest on the Lovelink podcast, hosted by Brooklyn-based therapists Dr. Sig...
How to Take a Compliment
22 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Compliments are the currency of love and something we all crave. Yet, paradoxically, somehow receiving a compliment is so hard for most of us. In this...
What To Do With Guilt
23 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Michael, Rasanath, and Hari Prasada dive into guilt—an emotion we all encounter but often misunderstand. Through engaging examples—from battling i...
Moral Superiority: The Cost of Needing to Be “Better” Than Others
03 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Moral superiority is a trap that almost everyone falls into, often without realizing it. In this episode, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath unpack t...
Effective One-On-One Meetings: From Transactional to Transformative
12 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
One-on-one meetings are an unavoidable cornerstone of work life, yet many of us find it challenging to lead or engage in them effectively. In this epi...
Can I Be Successful If I Give Up My Ego?
24 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
My ego drives me to achieve, and if I were to give up my ego, wouldn't I also be giving up that drive and all my future successes? With this prom...
Time Management Is Chaos Management, and Upbuild's Tips and Tricks for Productivity
12 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Time is the most valuable resource in the world. And yet, most of us are not so great at managing it.In this episode, Michael, Hari and Vipin delve in...
Trading Derivatives and the Shame-Based Fear of Being Ordinary
20 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It’s November 2010 on the Goldman Sachs trading floor in New York City. Just two years removed from the depths of the Global Financial Crisis, but y...
Learning to Carry Our Shame and What’s At Stake If We Don’t
30 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As Rasanath shares in this episode, “Walking through our shame is the deepest experience of authenticity.” But what does it really mean to “walk...
Our Complicated Relationship with Accountability
12 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you like being held accountable? Do you like holding others accountable? In this episode, Vipin, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath delve into different as...
Saying the "Right" Thing vs. What We Actually Feel
27 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Whether we are writing birthday cards, telling somebody how we feel about them, or giving a speech at a funeral, most of us find ourselves trying to s...
The Maha-Mantra: The Transformative Power of the Practice at the Heart of Our Spiritual Work
24 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Meditation on sacred sound has been practiced across traditions as a way to quiet the mind, open the heart, and reconnect with the divine. In this epi...
Meditation #2: Mantra Meditation
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
At Upbuild, mantra meditation is the centerpiece of our meditation practice. In this episode, Hari Prasada leads a mantra meditation using a very simp...
Meditation #1: Guided Meditation To Become Present and Grounded
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
At Upbuild, meditation is our core practice to help us move away from the ego and toward the self. In this episode, Hari Prasada leads a 20-minute gui...
Meditation: Transforming The Mind From Worst Enemy To Best Friend
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
With 50 years and more than 35,000 hours of meditation experience among them, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Vipin, dive into the topic of meditation. Th...
The Misunderstanding of Love
09 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us think we have a pretty good idea about what love is. After all, we have all been seeking it our entire lives. And yet, the reality is that ...
Contemplating Death To Live a Good Life
18 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us keep death at arm's length. We might discuss it in a casual way or we might even joke about it, but how many of us are really introspe...
Designing Relationships Intentionally
02 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Relationships often operate on unspoken assumptions and implicit agreements. And this is one of the reasons our relationships are so dysfunctional. In...
Pinch Moments: A Tool to Restore Communication (and Relationships!)
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conversations can be triggering. How we deal with those triggers determines everything about how effective and meaningful those conversations (and by ...
Comfort, Stretch, and Panic Zones: Where Do You Reside?
05 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Are you growing or are you contracting? In this episode, Vipin and Michael introduce the framework of the comfort, stretch, and panic zones. They disc...
Where Do You Put Your Faith?
01 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Don’t ask: Do you have faith? Ask: Where do you put your faith?In this episode, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Vipin discuss how faith is foundational ...
Atomic Habits and Using Identities to Help Us With Our Habits
04 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Atomic Habits has become one of the bibles of habit formation. One of the key ideas from that book is how to use an identity (e.g., I’m a runner) to...
Unlocking Growth Through 360 Degree Reviews and the Delicate Dance With Feedback
14 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Feedback. We want it and we don’t want it. In this episode, Michael, Vipin and Rasanath dive deep into the power of the 360 Degree Review. They dem...
Nonviolent Communication #4. Reconciling Our Infinite Longings With Our Finite Capacity, Spirituality, and The Limits of the NVC Framework
30 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In the fourth and final episode of the Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath explore why the NVC framework will onl...
Nonviolent Communication #3: O-F-N-R (Observation, Feeling, Need, Request)
08 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In the third episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath take us through a central teaching of the framewo...
Nonviolent Communication #2: The Connection Between Needs And Feelings
24 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In the second episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath take a deep dive into the incredibly tight connec...
Nonviolent Communication #1: Needs vs. Strategies
28 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to the first episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a method of communication developed by psyc...
Under the Influence of Lust
13 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Promotions. Travel experiences. Schools for our kids. Cars. Food. Other people.Our lives are full of lust. And this lust is preventing us from being w...
Tolerating Provoking Situations
29 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
“When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside.” It was hearing this quote, by...
Gossip: The Temptation and Tolls
17 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Why do we gossip and what is the impact of gossip on us and the people around us?In this episode, Vipin, Michael, and Hari Prasada examine why the top...
The Cost of Cutting Corners
01 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when we take shortcuts in life? Does this lead us toward more efficiency and success, or does it ultimately lead us down a path of self-d...
Everyone Is My Teacher
12 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this very personal episode, Hari interviews Michael about a piece he wrote, From "It Happened TO Me to "It Happened FOR Me”, in which h...
Enneagram Summing Up the Series
13 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this final episode of the Enneagram Foundations series, we explore how to use the Enneagram in our everyday lives in order to make sure that it has...
Enneagram Why Mistypings Happen and the Most Common Mistypings
13 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Typing is one of the most critical aspects of the Enneagram, and yet, mistyping is rampant. In this episode, we explain why this is case and what we c...
Enneagram Type 9 The Peace-Seeker
13 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 9s, nicknamed The Peace-Seeker, pride themselves in being calm, easygoing, and unassuming people who can flow with whatever comes and...
Enneagram Type 8 The Challenger
13 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 8s, nicknamed The Challenger, are all about strength and showing who’s in charge to reassure themselves that they don’t have a weak...
Enneagram Type 7 The Enthusiast
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 7s, nicknamed The Enthusiast, are care-free and fun-loving with a moment-to-moment appetite for adventure and zero tolerance for boredo...
Enneagram Type 6 The Loyalist
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 6s, nicknamed The Loyalist, live in a zone of constant questioning as they strive to be dependable for those they care about. They ofte...
Enneagram Type 5 The Investigator
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 5s, nicknamed The Investigator, are exceptionally cerebral, technical, and keep to themselves in their pursuit of knowledge to understa...
Enneagram Type 4 The Individualist
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 4s, nicknamed The Individualist, try to be authentic with every fiber of their being, but it’s so hard for them to know who they real...
Enneagram Type 3 The Achiever
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 3s, nicknamed The Achiever, are smooth and success-driven, endeavoring to show with their life that the sky’s the limit for what ca...
Enneagram Type 2 The Helper
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 2s, nicknamed The Helper, are all about taking care of others and having deep intimate connections so they can feel really close and lo...
Enneagram Type 1 The Moralist
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Enneagram Type 1s, nicknamed The Moralist, are detail-oriented visionaries driven by a set of principles personal that they feel in their gut and want...
Enneagram Typing, Mistyping, and the Wings
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Typing is one of the most critical skills for any user of the Enneagram. In this episode, we dive deep into the factors that contribute to understandi...
Enneagram Levels of Consciousness, the most important dimension of the framework
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How can Donald Trump be the same type as Martin Luther King, Jr? How can Nelson Mandela be the same type as Osama bin Laden? It all comes down to the ...
Enneagram Introduction to the Series
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to the first episode of Upbuild’s Enneagram Foundation podcast series. Whether you are a seasoned enthusiast or a curious newcomer, this ser...
Finding the Bait of the Inner Critic
30 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The inner critic is commonly thought of as the voice in our head that negatively judges and demeans us. This is true, but it is also has another job t...
The Four Levels of Motivation
09 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What is really motivating you? Are you running away from something or towards something? In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath share a...
An Existential Crisis is an Opportunity for Growth
29 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you are not having an existential crisis, well, you are not looking hard enough.In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath do a deep dive...
Our Need for Validation and Why We Don’t Like To Need It
15 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We all have a need for validation, and yet most of us don’t like to acknowledge that we need it.In this episode, Rasanath and Vipin explore the defi...
I Dislike in You What I Dislike in Me
01 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What is one thing you are judgmental of others about? How is this also true about you? In what way does knowing it is true about you bring up shame? M...
Anger Management
10 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What is anger? Where does it come from? What can we do about it?For many people, no matter how destructive anger can be, it’s all too easy to fall p...
The Power of Powerful Questions
13 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Mary and Vipin dive into the topic of asking powerful questions, in coaching and everyday life. Through personal examples, they talk about what consti...
The Rules that Rule Us
23 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How do you peel an apple? How do you brush your teeth? How do you soap yourself in the shower? We all have a set of “rules for achieving an outcome”...
The Four Listening Channels and the Power of Curiosity
07 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Listening is a skill that is foundational to life and to relationships, which is also why it has become the foundational skill for the Upbuild Coachin...
The Two Sides of Working on Yourself
23 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In order to be our best selves and get to the root of who we are, we need to take both an “outside-in” and “inside-out” approach. In this epis...
Safe vs. Quality Problems
09 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you work on problems that are comfortable to work on? Are you aware that your focus on these problems might be getting in the way of working on pro...
A Monk in NYC: Demystifying the Monastery
26 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What does it take to make the decision to live in a monastery and dedicate your life to service? What happens inside a monastery? What is the daily sc...
Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Parts Work: Your Internal Board of Directors
05 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever thought, “There is a part of me that feels this way, and there is a part of me that feels that way.”? If so, you are already start...
This is Your Damn Life
14 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
This is your damn life. What are you doing about it?In this episode, Vipin and Hari Prasada break down what gets in the way of approaching life with t...
The Freedom Fantasy
24 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel like you need something different than your present circumstances in order to feel happy and free? Maybe you just need a different job, to...
Humiliation Comes Before Humility
03 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What is the difference between real humility and the projection of humility? Do you desire to be truly humble or do you desire what humility can give ...
“There I Go Again”
06 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The phrase “There I go again” is one of the most simple yet powerful framings that you can use to work on yourself and to help you become who you ...
The Art of the Meta-Conversation
22 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you struggled to make a conversation productive because there is some tension in the relationship or because you feel triggered? Do you really wa...
The Trap of Defining My Value By What I Produce
08 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How do you define your self-worth? Why is it so naturally tied to what you produce? Using Sacinandana Swami’s provocative quote as a starting point,...
The Ego vs. the Self
25 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
At Upbuild, we talk a lot about the difference between the ego and the self. But it can often feel like everything – our goals, motivations, achieve...
How to Have Difficult Conversations
11 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you consider yourself someone who has difficult conversations with ease, or someone who fears them? What does it really mean to have a difficult co...
Our Motivations for Charitable Giving
27 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you donate money to charity so that you feel less guilty about your life, to receive praise, or to get a tax benefit? Should you try to get really ...
Goldman Sachs Bonus Day and the Entitled Ego
13 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wondered what really happens on bonus day at an investment bank? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, Gol...
The Three Sources of Introversion
30 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath discuss the three sources of introversion and share the different gifts of and challenges faced by introverts depe...
What Does It Mean to Be a Chameleon
16 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you a person who changes your beliefs or behaviors in order to please others or to succeed? Do you think this is a positive characteristic? Vipin,...
The Inspiration-Insecurity Continuum
02 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you driven by inspiration or insecurity? For most of us, the answer will be some combination of both. But are you aware of the relative weight of ...
How Are You: The Deeper Meanings Behind Our Responses
16 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How do you respond to the question, “How are you?” Do you answer honestly or reflexively? Do you even know what the honest answer is? In this epis...
Creating Space Between Stimulus and Response
02 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you react to things other people say or do in a way you wish you could do over, even when you feel righteous in your response? What if you could co...
From Investment Banker to Monk: Finding Your Calling
19 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Why would anyone give up a life of wealth on Wall Street to become a monk? And why would anyone who would eventually become a monk be motivated to wor...
The Agitation We Feel from Social Media (Our Unilateral Contracts)
05 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you find yourself getting agitated when someone posts flattering things about themselves on social media? Do you think (or talk) badly about the ot...
The Masks We Wear
15 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us are wearing masks all the time. We are wearing ego masks that cover who we are so we can prove that we are worthy, that we are enough, and ...
Productivity as a Coping Mechanism for Shame
01 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Shame is a hard emotion to talk about because we feel shame about having shame. Rasanath and Michael break down this complex emotion by unpacking an e...
The Antidote to Envy
17 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Who do you envy? And how does it serve you? Envy is a universal emotion. It can lead us to feel ashamed, disconnected from others and ourselves, and ...
Imposter Syndrome
03 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In order to “overcome” imposter syndrome, most self help books teach us that we should just believe that we can be anything that we think we shoul...
The Seduction of Anger
20 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Anger is like a temptress, seducing us with promises of control and justice. And yet, for the vast majority of us, how we deal with our anger almost a...
Detangling Self-Worth from Achievement
20 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Why is it that our successes and failures have such a strong influence on how we feel about ourselves? The Upbuild team discusses the link between sel...
If You Think You're Self-Aware, You're Not
20 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us think we are self-aware. But what does it actually mean to be self-aware? And why is it that people who think they are self-aware are usual...
Introducing: Upbuilding the Self
13 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Join two former monks, a former startup founder/CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader as they journey into how we can become free from our egos ...