Chapter 1: What hilarious moment opens the episode?
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Amber, Emma and I just came on the pod record and we both just started laughing hysterically because I looked so... I came on screen and I hadn't looked in the mirror and I was like, oh Jesus, sorry Emma. Like, what did you look like? I had to apologise to her. I went and brushed my eyebrows. I put on a top. I know I have sunglasses on, but I looked so bad. We just sat there laughing.
What did you have to put on a top? Oh, did you see her boobs?
Chapter 2: What chaotic incident happens during Vogue's bath?
Her pecs? Christmas, Christmas BJs. And I just looked like I'd been dragged through a ditch. Ambie, check your phone. Okay, but I looked. Oh my God, I know I have it here. Desperate. Sorry about that, Emma. Frightened myself. Puberty. I didn't notice until I looked in the camera.
Oh my God. Are you sick? I called Vogue because she's ignoring me because she's moving. So basically I called her and she was in the bath. But little Ottie caught her in the bath.
I was just, honestly, I've been moving house all day long. It's not going to be my identity for the week, I've decided, but it will be partly. But I was like, I'm going to go have a bath now because I haven't stopped since 6.15 this morning when Otto decided to get up out of bed. And I went in the bath.
Within two minutes, he brought his basket of rocks, sticks and old, disgusting bird feathers into the bathroom. Slipped. Spilled them everywhere. Started bawling his eyes out. I had to get out of the bath to pick up the fucking feathers. And then he insisted on getting in the bath with me and then told me it was too hot.
Now, I would have said no. Sorry. You see that bin? That's for you. That's where you live now.
So, yeah. What a day today. Amber! Only a bit of tin. Not that much tin. You were very good at Dancing with the Stars last night. And Gigi insisted on staying up, then decided she was going to bed on like the sixth person. I knew you were eighth. And then when she heard me say it, she just bolted straight back into the room to watch you. And they were like, we were all so excited.
Sveni was glued to it because we're watching on a laptop here. And we were all very proud of you. You looked stunning. Glad you don't look like that all the time. I don't want to be the ugly sister.
Shut up! I did my first transition video with it on TikTok yesterday. I had to get girls, two of the girls, this girl Anna and one of the girls Kylie with the dancers and then Alex as well to help me because I don't have a clue how to do TikTok. I need a crash course on TikTok. Just give me 20 minutes and teach me all the little nuts and bolts of it. It's more than 20 minutes.
I just send all my stuff to Barley because I don't know how to do it. That's all I'd need. So last night, yeah, I was a bit more comfortable and I've just like, I just ignored the audience. Everyone's like, oh, imagine like they're all naked. No, I'm just ignoring. We've been lucky with our lighting. It's dark lighting so I can ignore everyone.
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Chapter 3: How did Amber perform on Dancing with the Stars?
I don't have one. She's the only one who'll give a shite about that. Remember the one I sent you to? Folks sent me to this holy Joe.
Nothing wrong with being a holy Joe. Okay? I have someone in my life very close to me who likes to go to church pretty much every day. She likes a candle for me.
Naomi?
Leah.
Chapter 4: What are the highlights of Amber's dance experience?
She goes to church every day. She got re-baptised and she goes to mass. I thought she was gay. Does she not go on fire?
She says it's a bit hot when she goes in, but she's able to withstand the heat. She likes a bit of pain and punishment, you know.
Just feels a bit like, just a bit like a sauna. They've reduced it now because they're trying to be more accepting. So you guys don't go into flames.
So she goes in. No, it's a beautiful church. She goes in. She sent me a picture. She's there with her Bible, reading the Bible.
fuck sorry what I know she keeps asking me about God I'm like who made God I'm like I said not everyone believes in God some people believe in God you believe in God that's okay but not everyone believes in God But anyway, come here.
I was in with your man, Austin, right? Who's Austin? He's the physio and medic guy. No one gives a fuck what you're talking about this shit. And he was telling me that, listen to this, right? This could be something for us to taste on the podcast.
Oh, no, I didn't say no one gives a shit about Austin because I might like Austin. He's a really nice man. I tell him I have a dodgy shoulder. I'll be there on Saturday from half four if he's got a moment.
He was telling me, right? So we were talking about Kerrygold. Kerrygold butter, I was like, obviously. Yeah, the butter. And he gets, so Kerrygold butter, obviously we know about Kerrygold butter, you know. And then there's Brennan's white bread as well, right?
So people usually lather on.
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Chapter 5: What workplace dilemma is discussed in the episode?
And I sent the pictures of Andy because someone took all the screenshots when they were watching it last night. He actually turned around to Laura, one of the presenters, and said, Laura, move out of the way there. I want to be on TV.
Yeah.
And he texts me this morning. He keeps calling me every day. I'm like, Andy, you have a wife and kids. You have to stop calling me all the time. This is just too much. I'm too busy.
Chapter 6: How does the team address the listener's workplace issue?
And what he did was he goes through this morning. He's like, let me know if you want me to come this week. I can come any week. I can make sure I'm free.
You know, Gina's flying over. You know, Gina's flying over me. You better be very appreciative, by the way. I'm only flying over for you. That's it. I'm going to fly the whole way to Ireland just to watch you. God, I could watch it online for God's sake. Don't come then. Don't come. I'll fill this in. Fine, I won't. Don't worry.
Fine, I won't. Fill it. Fill it. The audience was filled with gay men last night. Gerode was there. I love Gerode. And then your man Jack Woolley, who Alex danced with as well, he was there. And obviously you have Gim on, James Patrice there. A lot of gay men in the audience last night. So I have to get some letters in a few weeks. Are you having it as a night?
Yeah, I'm going to have to just tell them to do a lot. I'm just going to tell them there's four spaces. They can do a lot amongst themselves. Let's see if you're still in, so.
What did you say? I said, let's see if you're still in. If you're not in, if I don't get to see your dedication week, I will die of sadness. Do not get kicked out before that. I will come home again and I'll be very unhappy if you get kicked out. And to be honest with you, I'm going to ask you to leave the house if that happens. The bags are packed.
Don't worry, I've packed the plate bowls.
thank god she's probably got a spork in there as well you know those spoon forks that you use for camping oh go away no I don't even like ramen oh god this is a bonus go away stop talking to me god sorry I must say thank you to everyone who voted for me please continue to vote for me because I want to stay and I'm having a great time and hopefully we're on an upwards trajectory here but we won't get too cocky because what goes up must come down too
Let's get it right by week four because I don't know doing any better than I did.
No, I need to, I need to get to week five. That's dedication week. I want to go to week five.
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Chapter 7: What insights are shared about personal relationships?
It looked so fun. Also, well done Amber on all your dancing. I just wanted to say that my girlfriend and I and our baby love the pod and really love all of Amber's impressions. I honestly think she is gifted at doing accents. This is one of your fucking pals. My favorite is when she does Neil. It's brilliant. We should get Svenny to do Neil. Svenny does a really good Neil.
We also loved it when you used to do pranks. Please can you do an... No, we wouldn't prank call my mom a Neil.
No.
We could prank call my mom, not Neil.
We know there's boundaries. We value our lives.
Yeah, like if you give, if you frighten Neil, he will take the head.
I did that before and he, I mean, I'm the, I, as, as we all know, I got caught for absolutely everything. Do you know what, actually, sorry to cut in here, but when I was listening to the bonus mashup and then also the main mashup.
I we were talking about how you were the first person we'll have to we'll have to add this to the main but how you were the first person I came out to Vogue and we never said why I had to come out to you remember with the fucking dating and the fucking stupid Daily Mirror newspaper I thought yeah Okay, we'll do that for the main.
So bad, Emma. Sorry, carry on. Also, love Emma's contributions and funny stories. Such a great girl. Listen, good luck with the house move, Vogue. Love, Natalie, Emily and baby Arlo. P.S. Vogue, if you ever get a cat, I recommend one like ours. Super cute, more like a dog. He's an exotic short hair. What a gorgeous cat. Now, I would be... Sorry, I love that name, Arlo. I know it is lovely.
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts do Vogue and Amber leave with the audience?
And please vote for Amber because she's going to be on Sunday as well and I really want her to be in for Dedication Week.
Then we'll get rid of her. Nobody goes on Dedication Week.
But thanks for that, Vogue.