Chapter 1: What funny stories do Amber and Vogue share from Tenerife?
This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to Vogue and Amber, the podcast where we have, I don't know, Pablo Escobar or what's that fellow's name from? What's your man's name from that show Breaking Bad? What's his name? Heisenberg. Heisenberg sitting across. Oh me, get low. My hair didn't survive the night. I had a 10 hour sleep last night.
everyone was in bed very early I came home on my own with Colm straight to the bed straight to the bed really oh you're such a saint straight to the bed is that because you're absolutely deranged and couldn't possibly have done anything else but go straight to the bed no no no I had two drinks yesterday before we went to this museum and then I just didn't have it in me last night to drink they're all
drinking all the wine that they actually ran out of wine in the restaurant. And now I just ate basically my body weight in garlic and the absolute stench off me last night was quite something. I think I filmed at that place that you went to yesterday. Did I? Did Martin mention that?
Chapter 2: How did Otto end up breaking his collarbone?
No, it was a struggle. I hated it. Okay. Hated it. I didn't want to go, but like, I felt like, you know, one team, one dream, all that type of stuff. So I had to go and it was, we had to wait then. So we made it there for four o'clock. The cocktail bar wasn't open until six. And then when it was quarter to six, we queried our table.
What ended up happening was they actually had a private party booked and there was no cocktail man. So we skedaddled out of there and went for something to eat. Just, yeah. So listen. Amber is in Lanzarote and she has got the weather, like you look like you're actually able to sit out and get a tan. Yes.
Chapter 3: What experiences do they share about dealing with kids and injuries?
I kind of didn't believe it. I was like, there's no way that two hours away the weather's like that and we're stuck in this dump. I definitely agree with you. When we were going to this place yesterday, it was half an hour cab to get there. And genuinely, I know what it would feel like if you lived on Mars. Yeah, I told you. It's like Mars out there. Fucking believable.
When I was flying to... I don't know, where was I flying to? Brisbane to do the jungle. I woke up because it was just my night time. That's Amber's wind. Nothing is actually happening there. She's just in...
managing to sit outside the little witch yeah I know you stupid arsehole we could sit outside I went outside I dropped Otto to nursery and the kids to school so it was like an hour and 15 minute round trip I was so cold after I had to get in the bath had to get in the bath it had gone into my bones and what about little Ottie his first if anyone was going to break something it was going to be that child 100% it was going to be I just but it's the first break of any of the kids which is shocking I know and I wasn't even there when it happened I'm making sure people know that
Chapter 4: How do Amber and Vogue navigate their social lives?
He has such a sense of guilt about it. It's like, oh God. He was sitting on the kitchen chair and just fell off having a sandwich and just fell off wrong. But then he... It's only because he was crying loads. I told him because Otto is hard as nails. So like if he hurts himself... He'll get over it really quickly. And particularly if you show him TV, if he gets like free TV during the day.
So he came up to me and he was bawling, crying. And I put on the TV and I was like, is he not seeing the dinosaurs on the TV? And he just kept crying. I know. And I was, me and Spenny, we had found, like Alza had taken the two for fun.
to the cinema and we'd found somebody to watch Ottie and we were going to Dory in our favorite restaurant we haven't been to in ages for lunch and I was like and then I was like no I just I have a feeling there's something not right so we went into I know and we went in then he fell asleep in the car and then when we went in he kind of was like he was feeling fine he's like I'm okay let's go I'm okay and I was like
Now that we're here, we were in Chelsea, Westminster and we went into A&E and they were really quick.
Chapter 5: What are the latest food trends they discuss, especially about bagels?
Like I went in and there must have been like 30 people ahead of us and they just flew through everybody. I was really surprised. I was like, I texted them and I was like, we're going to be here for six hours. You might as well just go home. Hour and a half, in and out, x-ray, done. So what's the recovery? What's the recovery?
Well, the doctor said it's a really common thing to happen to kids, the clavicle break. And he has a sling on for a week. I can take it off a little bit next week. A week? Yeah, but like a full time for a week and then almost full time for the second week. And see how he is the third week, whether or not I need it on. And then by the fourth week, he should be okay. God.
Chapter 6: What hilarious anecdotes do they share about their childhood injuries?
Image of mom. I know. Poor Artie. I know. I FaceTimed mom with him in the hospital and he was delighted. He was like, I'm like you, Nanny Sandra. Did he say? Oh, he's so cute. I know. Well, there you go. I think that's quite some feat though. Three kids and only one break after the third. But listen, he's a troublemaker, that kid. I know, but what have you, I haven't broken anything.
Do you not remember, see what you were saying there about like you didn't know if he actually had a break or whatever.
Chapter 7: How do they handle personal dilemmas from listeners?
I remember I slipped on the kitchen floor and I was vicious with the childminder because I accused her of pushing me or something like that. And mom didn't believe, and mom sent me to my room crying. And I had like sprained, I had fractured my elbow. Terrible mother.
You're a little moany hole. My mum did similar. I remember I was in reception, so I must have been like four or five, and we were at a school barbecue, and my mum pushed me off a climbing frame. What? No, I was on like a balance beam type thing, and she was just playing, and she just pushed me, and I kind of fell and twisted my ankle.
I thought I twisted my ankle, but I was like crying, crying, crying. And my mum's a nurse, so she doesn't really take any shit, and she doesn't really believe us when we say that we're poorly – Anyway, and then I was just like crying, crying, crying all through the night. And then in the morning, my foot was just like a massive ball. And she was like, oh shit. And I'd broken my foot.
Chapter 8: What final thoughts do Amber and Vogue leave listeners with?
Oh. Yeah, it was bad.
Yeah, my foot. I don't remember which foot.
Oh, God. I think that's like with all parents. The amount of sick days we got, I must have had less than like three. Think about it. When were you ever not allowed to have the day off school and not go in? Because our parents were working. So they were like, get the fuck into school. No. You're fine. But mom, my arms fall off. Get in. Get in. So, yeah, I'm going to lap it up now, girls.
This is my second last day. My last day is tomorrow. I'm not going to drink tomorrow, so we're going to go full ham today. How wild? Tell us how wild you're going. Come on. What are you going to do? What are you going to stay up till? Oh no, I still think... You haven't fully decided. You're on the vodka at two o'clock. I think that's a pretty good estimate about how the rest of the day will go.
So hopefully I'll be in bed by ten. That's what I look... I don't bother doing that. I'm like, we'll go for lunch and then we'll be in bed by twelve. And I'm like, still up at two in the morning. I'm like, this just doesn't work. No, we had a big brunch there. Colm did loads of stuff, delicious stuff. And we had so much leftover food. We went full pig last night and just ordered so much food.
And we'd ordered loads of kind of tapas stuff and then I'd ordered a steak and I was like, I can't do it. I'm going to have to get it to take away. Is it cheap over there for food? Compared to home, like compared to home? No, I think they've bumped up the prices over here. Have you been having loads of prawn pill pill? What have you been having? Calamari?
No, I had prawn pill pill last night because we, where did we go? The first, oh, we went to a drag show. And it was on Saturday and they gave us a roast. And the peas looked like they'd gone to space, been drawn back from space, cryogenically frozen, then unfrozen. The colour of the peas. A roast in Lansdowne, Washington.
And we were, and this is saying a lot, we were the youngest people at the drag show. Oh God, you're really old. Yeah, I know. Jesus. So, yeah. So we're staying in tonight and just taking it easy. Taking it easy. I just have never heard such shit. Well, I have now, I have a new addiction, bagels. Me and Emma were just talking about it. Just not into bagels.
Benny and I were about to, as I said, we were about to go to Dorian for lunch. And then we were both so hungry by the time we got to the hospital. I was like, you'll have to go out and get us food. So there's a bagel place across the road. Oh my God. I was like, when we left, I was like, go get more bagels for tomorrow. So it's this, it's a place called Bee Bagel.
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