BONUS: Lanzarote & Bagels
episodePreviously titled “BONUS: Tenerife & Bagels” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 2, 2026
Transcript
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What funny stories do Amber and Vogue share from Tenerife?
This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to Vogue and Amber, the podcast where we have, I don't know, Pablo Escobar or what's that fellow's name from? What's your man's name from that show Breaking Bad? What's his name? Heisenberg. Heisenberg sitting across. Oh me, get low. My hair didn't survive the night. I had a 10 hour sleep last night. everyone was in bed very early I came home on my own with Colm straight to the bed straight to the bed really oh you're such a saint straight to the bed is that because you're absolutely deranged and couldn't possibly have done anything else but go straight to the bed no no no I had two drinks yesterday before we went to this museum and then I just didn't have it in me last night to drink they're all
drinking all the wine that they actually ran out of wine in the restaurant. And now I just ate basically my body weight in garlic and the absolute stench off me last night was quite something. I think I filmed at that place that you went to yesterday. Did I? Did Martin mention that?
How did Otto end up breaking his collarbone?
No, it was a struggle. I hated it. Okay. Hated it. I didn't want to go, but like, I felt like, you know, one team, one dream, all that type of stuff. So I had to go and it was, we had to wait then. So we made it there for four o'clock. The cocktail bar wasn't open until six. And then when it was quarter to six, we queried our table. What ended up happening was they actually had a private party booked and there was no cocktail man. So we skedaddled out of there and went for something to eat. Just, yeah. So listen. Amber is in Lanzarote and she has got the weather, like you look like you're actually able to sit out and get a tan. Yes.
What experiences do they share about dealing with kids and injuries?
I kind of didn't believe it. I was like, there's no way that two hours away the weather's like that and we're stuck in this dump. I definitely agree with you. When we were going to this place yesterday, it was half an hour cab to get there. And genuinely, I know what it would feel like if you lived on Mars. Yeah, I told you. It's like Mars out there. Fucking believable. When I was flying to... I don't know, where was I flying to? Brisbane to do the jungle. I woke up because it was just my night time. That's Amber's wind. Nothing is actually happening there. She's just in... managing to sit outside the little witch yeah I know you stupid arsehole we could sit outside I went outside I dropped Otto to nursery and the kids to school so it was like an hour and 15 minute round trip I was so cold after I had to get in the bath had to get in the bath it had gone into my bones and what about little Ottie his first if anyone was going to break something it was going to be that child 100% it was going to be I just but it's the first break of any of the kids which is shocking I know and I wasn't even there when it happened I'm making sure people know that
How do Amber and Vogue navigate their social lives?
He has such a sense of guilt about it. It's like, oh God. He was sitting on the kitchen chair and just fell off having a sandwich and just fell off wrong. But then he... It's only because he was crying loads. I told him because Otto is hard as nails. So like if he hurts himself... He'll get over it really quickly. And particularly if you show him TV, if he gets like free TV during the day. So he came up to me and he was bawling, crying. And I put on the TV and I was like, is he not seeing the dinosaurs on the TV? And he just kept crying. I know. And I was, me and Spenny, we had found, like Alza had taken the two for fun. to the cinema and we'd found somebody to watch Ottie and we were going to Dory in our favorite restaurant we haven't been to in ages for lunch and I was like and then I was like no I just I have a feeling there's something not right so we went into I know and we went in then he fell asleep in the car and then when we went in he kind of was like he was feeling fine he's like I'm okay let's go I'm okay and I was like
Now that we're here, we were in Chelsea, Westminster and we went into A&E and they were really quick.
What are the latest food trends they discuss, especially about bagels?
Like I went in and there must have been like 30 people ahead of us and they just flew through everybody.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What funny stories do Amber and Vogue share from Tenerife?
0:02–1:05
2
How did Otto end up breaking his collarbone?
1:05–1:44
3
What experiences do they share about dealing with kids and injuries?
1:44–2:45
4
How do Amber and Vogue navigate their social lives?
2:45–3:46
5
What are the latest food trends they discuss, especially about bagels?
3:46–4:25
6
What hilarious anecdotes do they share about their childhood injuries?
4:25–4:52
7
How do they handle personal dilemmas from listeners?
4:52–5:45
8
What final thoughts do Amber and Vogue leave listeners with?
5:45–22:08