Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What are Vogue and Amber's travel plans for the summer?
This is a global production. Wait, was this the one that you bit? No, that was a different one. Just because you're a ratbag, you were such a ratbag snitching on me all the time. We'll say a prayer. And then I was like, saying Hail Mary, and I'm like, fuck that, what are the words? Go on to hallway to Mykonos. And I'm like, yeah. I was sad and lonely. No one's pissed. No one's vomiting anywhere.
This is not what I wanted. I'm going to have the time of my life, okay? You wet the bed in her house. I know. I was like 15. Oh, no! Hello and welcome to... Vogue and Amber, the podcast. We are here. Emma's back. Hello. She's decided to rejoin us. Amber's wearing shades. Because I had a facial today. Very nice. Look at you. Very nice. Glassy facial from Kerry Hannity. Pre-pride pamper facial.
Chapter 2: How does Vogue feel about the baby gender rumors?
I'm going to get my fucking face torn off like a chimpanzee has been at me when this baby comes out. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't think that's a good fucking analogy now. Well, I will. I'm getting all the bits. Jesus. People have actually died that way. Who died? Yes, for having the chimpanzee rip their face off. Chimpanzees are very dangerous, very aggressive creatures. They look cute.
I think Michael Jackson made everybody think they were cute. They are far from it. They are a wild animal. You know, Imo, about, you know, I told you so. Do you remember Vogue? So I was offered a plant from my auntie Naomi. And I said, no, thank you very much. No, thank you. I hate that plant. Yeah. So, yeah, we've come full circle. Vogue now despises the plant.
And I've just had to bloody water that yolk again. It's terrible that you can't just leave it outside to go in the bin. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I have a great idea. I have a great idea. When we moved house, I didn't want loads of plants that we had, specifically the ivy that grows like I have never seen anything grow before.
Chapter 3: What humorous incidents happened at Vogue's baby shower?
And so what I did was popped them on the footpath within the hour. I don't know how much footfall there'd be here, Vogue. There's people walking the cliffs. It looks like that plant you see it and you'd be like, oh my God, I really want that plant. They don't know. That's what happened to you, obviously. Yeah. I was like, that's a gorgeous Sideshow Bob plant. I love it. I'll take it.
That's exactly what it looks like. Sideshow Bob. Do you know what to do? Give it back to Naomi. Tell Naomi you're going to kill it or you're giving it back. No, well, Naomi's not back now till Tuesday. Perfect. You've got keys to her apartment. I would drop the phone. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. How dare you just drop the phone. No, that's effort.
And I already have to go down the road and get a bloody case because I don't have my case. Kevin's gone to suitcase heaven. Oh, Amber's going to Madrid this weekend and I am going to... Greece. She's going to Greece. Hello, Wol. How are you? Egg and chip on Friday.
Chapter 4: What are the details of the Cape Verde goalkeeper's overnight fame?
Ma, I'm going to have, do you know what I'm having for my dinner? Beans, eggs and a waffle. That's what I'm going to have for dinner. I know. I wouldn't be into a waffle. Well, it's at the state I'm in now. I, mom was like to me, you're going the whole way to Mykonos. And I'm like, Yeah, the flight is part of my time away where I'm just like, and I've done all my pods for the week.
I'm doing a little bit of work over there, but not much. And I just, girls, I'm going to eat so much food. Spenny suggested we go out for dinner. I said, excuse me? I told you I've given up evening plans. And it's two hours ahead there, Amber informed me. I didn't know that. So evening plans are well and truly out the window unless they begin at four o'clock.
Well, yeah, I just have dens at four o'clock. I actually went back to that sushi place again today. I'm done with sushi for a while now. I've overdone it. I've just, we went piggery. Piggery ensued. But it was absolutely delicious. Well, I spoke to my doctor about sushi because everyone's like, you can't eat sushi when you're pregnant. You can eat frozen sushi and most sushi is frozen.
It comes from frozen. Like they don't just have a fresh salmon hanging around at the back. So you're mainly getting frozen sushi. And when it's been frozen and put onto the sushi rice, it's fine.
Chapter 5: What are the latest controversies involving Morrissey?
Well, one thing I don't like is the cream cheese in sushi. I think, no. I got one piece with cream cheese and it was, no. It brought the whole score of the meal down. For a girl who loves a sauce, she doesn't like mayonnaise or pesto. Like really strange, strange lady. I have my likes and my dislikes. What can I say? I know, but pesto, fuck. There were three of us in the marriage.
come here to me do you know what I saw that was making me laugh we had Emma Doran has done our podcast loads of times she covered for I don't know she's done loads anyway we've had her on and she covered for me when I was away and she covered she will cover for Amber when Amber decides to fuck off Emma Doran I saw one of our friends there was a festival on in Ireland called Beyond the Pale and a load of our friends went to it and Emma Doran was doing the comedy tent
And our friend Lynn Rafferty posted something and it was Emma Doran singing Our Father. Is that what she was singing? I have never, I was like, and she's like, what else would you be doing on stage on a Sunday? Well, listen, another girl that I know, Elaine May was doing a DJ set and she played Enya to finish out the weekend. How class is that? Oh, come on.
I thought you were going to say, come and go with me to my father's house. oh god it really made me laugh oh she's a gas woman love that I was when I was up at dad's grave by the way with the kids I took Theodore and Gigi up to the grave and I was like we'll say a prayer and then I was like saying Hail Mary and I'm like fucking hell what are the words laughing I know three.
I know Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory be to the Father. I hate standing beside Amber in church because she's like... You know when people start singing the hymns and I'm like, this isn't real singing. No, I can't. Have you ever stood beside Spencer in a church? It's horrendous. I'd say he gives it sucks. Like, you have never heard such singing. And I'm like, Spenny, stop doing that.
Like, I know you're trying to make me laugh. No, I hate when you're in bed and like, you think of it like, oh, I should say a prayer for all the people that have passed away.
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Chapter 6: What advice do Vogue and Amber give about breakups?
I'm like, I'm nearly asleep. What? I never, I am never in bed. I never, I never think of that. I only say prayers at graveyards or like. Oh no, if I think of people and then I think of, I'm like, I'll have to think of all the people I know that have passed away. And then I'm like, okay, I'll have to say a prayer for them. Yeah. What? Yeah, that's supposed to be an anxiety trigger or something.
I don't know. I just have to do it. I have to do it. Anyhow, God bless. Amber, how's your week been? My week is good. It's been very warm today here in Dublin. It was like, what was it, 17 degrees yesterday, right? And I was thinking to myself, because I looked up what the temperature is this weekend, 35 degrees. In Madrid? There is no breeze. There is no beach. So think about it.
It was double what it was yesterday. And I was like, what was that yesterday? And it was 19 today. 17 degrees in Ireland, everyone goes down the beach. Why not? So I have to go down after this now and look at my summer bits. And I took a note and I was saying it to Leah on the phone this morning.
Chapter 7: How do Vogue and Amber discuss the importance of being respectful in public?
I was just like, I say to myself, am I bringing a dress to her? She's like, oh, I can't see that. I was like, yeah, fair. You want to see the amount of stuff I've stuffed into a carry on. Oh my God. Outfit upon outfit. I've loads. I almost have like four bikinis. I was like, oh, well, I'm just going to keep going. It all fits. How many days are you going for? Three, three nights.
I'm only two nights. So we're Friday and Saturday. And then we're going to a pool on Saturday where we have the option to go to a pool. Two of the girls don't want to, but I was like, girls, I'm not going to Madrid to just go to a dark bar down a cobbled street. Are you not going to go to Madrid and do a little bit of tourist stuff? No, I was advised against the tourist stuff.
If Zara is a tourist thing, that is what I am doing, okay? Then I'm getting a bag of cans and I go to the swimming pool and I say, mi guapa. Why don't you just stay at home? Un vodka y Sprite, por favor. Because I'm going to a swimming pool over there. Both days. A swimming pool? Like, seriously? Piscina. Piscina. No, I'm going to the beach. At least I'm going to the beach in Greece.
Chapter 8: What bizarre items have people left in Ubers?
There's no... beach in Madrid it is a city I know but you're going on a city break and you're not even going to go see the city I don't want to be no I don't want I will see the city I'm going to see the gay parts of the city I'm going to see some gorgeous restaurants and bars I'm going to hopefully see a drag show I'm going to have The time of my life. Okay?
Everyone likes to holiday differently, I suppose. I will be going for little wanders. I'm going to go to the beach. I'm going to eat exclusively Greek food, Amber. Really immerse myself in the culture. What, you're going to fucking go mad on gyros? Bit of feta cheese, mate. Bit of tzatziki. I've refused Greek food. No, I was thinking of like an octopus leg, Amber. Pulpa. Yum. Pulpa. Suckers.
Yummy. I might get a bit of pulpa. A bit of, no you won't. I may get a few empanadas if you don't mind. Amber will be off having about seven different kebabs in Madrid. She's disgusting. No, I never, I've gone off kebabs. I didn't even get one on Sunday. And I just remind myself of the taste of the meat and it stops me in my tracks. Not after the last time when I bombed.
That's why I've gone off meat. I'm telling you, I've gone off meat. What meat have I had today? I had tuna fish. It's like when you were saying, I think I could be a vegetarian. Now I had a bit of chicken today. Chicken hardly counts, please. That's not real meat. I've gone off cows. I can't eat a cow. That's it. Me and cows are over. Finito.
So anyway, you know, you were just speaking about a festival there. I actually heard something on the radio and this is a warning for people. Anyway, I heard this probably because we're in festival season. They're talking about it on the radio, but they're warning people about spiked vapes. So don't be sharing vapes with people you don't know at festivals. Hang on a second.
What's it spiked with, first of all? They didn't go into the details, but I'm imagining. Could be something good, Amber. I thought they were going to talk. I thought they were going to talk about catching something like from using the same thing as someone. But no, I've heard of a vape being spiked with spice. Is that what it's called? You don't want to be doing spice. No way.
can you get drugs I know you can get weed in vapes but can you get like other drugs in vapes is that what's happening I mean I'm learning a lot I feel like I've been out of the game a long time that I didn't know White Claw was sold in pubs and then someone told me the other day when my friend was buying smokes they don't sell smokes in the pubs anymore someone told me in Ireland they have vape machines in the pubs yeah so so anyway what drugs are in vapes Emma
Most common drugs that appear in spiked vapes are THC and spice. What's THC? It's the thing that's in cannabis, yeah. What does spice do to you? Spice is not good. It's like one of those headshot drugs and there's a real bad epidemic of it up in Manchester. Not good, not good. You don't want to be doing a spice. I've never done spice, but it's not what you want to be doing.
Well, Emma, we had folks baby shower, which was called a baby hen. And some elements did transcend into the hen territory. It was a lovely day. We had about 13, 14 people here. And it was just a lovely group. We had the slushy machine from Remarkable Cocktails. Where has that been picked up? It was on foot.
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